|Revenge Of The Hominids!
Author: NEStitch PM
a re-telling of the Alien Hominid storyline, with various alterations and artistic liberties.Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Humor/Sci-Fi - Words: 415 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 04-08-08 - id: 4184432
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
What the hell is the deal with this light? chittered the hominid.
The other looked over to what was being pointed out. Eh?
This light,said the first, this big red light with the annoying beep that won't quit.
Uhm...were you making some food in the oven?
No, that's stupid. We don't even have one of those.
Well, then I don't know what the light means.
The first hominid fell silent for a moment, and looked out the side window. Do you think it has to do with that big stick?
The second hominid glanced over and asked that big stick with the fire shooting out of it that's coming really fast to be friends with us?
Yeah, that one.
You know...that's probably it.
Nothing more was said in the ship. As it turned out, the "big stick" ended up being more like a heat-seeking U.S. Army missile. This missile, apparently, did not want to be friends with the hominids, but instead wished very dearly to blow them all to hell.
The missile itself was sent by the Federal Bureau of Investigation, who wanted the super-advanced technology of the hominid ship. The inherit irony of this is that hominid technology is so advanced, that the race of aliens simply decided to cut through the technological bullshit and make all of their equipment suitable for five-year-olds.
The ship split into pieces, sending the hominids reeling downwards through the sky towards the harsh, unforgiving Earth ground (which they assumed was simply welcoming them hastily, since they were not under the impression that the ground itself was provoking them to attack).
When the hominids and ship pieces finally hit the ground with a mighty "whump", the FBI team quickly came over and started grabbing the pieces of their ship. One of the hominids weakly opened an eye and noticed the FBI men, with their cartoonish-ly small heads and ridiculously large machine guns.
Something, the second hominid thought, is clearly messed up here.
Yeah, the first hominid weakly chittered. It's shouldn't be any big deal to get our ship back, though. With heads that small, there's no way those creatures have any real intelligence.
Then, after the FBI had vacated the scene, the hominids slowly stood up. They looked at each other, and picked up the only things they had left with them - and that was their super-awesome green laser pistols.