Chapter 13

Note: Alright, enough of this side-adventure crap, it's time to get back into the real story. Rachel has made it back to their house, so what's Tobias' reaction going to be? Since I didn't think it'd be fair just to have the chapter from one of their perspectives I wrote it out for both of them. You can read your favorite one, you can read both, or I guess you can read none at all... Anyway, on to the chapter! Enjoy!

Tobias

There was Rachel, standing on the front porch looking as beautiful as I remembered her. She looked like she’d been living in the woods for the past week, but I didn’t care. Her hair was a mess but I didn’t care. Her clothes were hanging onto her by threads but I didn’t care. She looked like she was covered in a layer of dirt and filth but I didn’t care. I thought that I’d never see her again but there she was, standing on the porch right in front of me. The only reason she’d have for coming back here was… that she had come back for me!

After getting over my initial shock I continued to look her over as I tried to say something, but nothing came out. I had the perfect opportunity to run up and hug her, but I couldn’t move. All I could do was stand there and look at her standing shyly on the front porch.

After a long moment of silence between the both of us Rachel was finally able to get some words out. “Um,” she said with a shy and weak voice, “hi Tobias.”

I wanted to run out to her. I wanted to grasp her in my arms and hold her tighter that I ever had before. I wanted more than anything to take her back and forgive her for everything that’s happened. I wanted to hold her and whisper in her ear that everything was going to be alright. She was back; she was finally back!

But the longer we stood there in silence the longer I had to think about it. I wanted to hug her, sure, but she had done something horrible to me. As much as I wanted to push my anger aside it kept coming back. I tried to fight it but it was no use. Rachel had done just about the worst thing imaginable to me and I wasn’t going to let her get away with it. In fact, the longer I thought about it the more resentful of her I became. She had ripped my life apart like it didn’t even matter to her and now I was thinking of just taking her back that quick? How do I know she wouldn’t do the same thing again when someone else came along? How did I know that she really wanted me back? How did I know that I even wanted her back? She destroyed my life before so what was to stop her from doing it again?

I let my anger drive my response as I said, “You’ve got a lot of nerve coming back here.”

She recoiled as if someone had hit her when she heard that. For just a split second I felt bad about saying it and the way it had come out, but I quickly went back to being angry. If it hurt her then she deserved it. Anger was turning out to be a much more powerful emotion than compassion right now.

After she recoiled I could see tears start to form in her eyes as she began to cry. Again I had that slight feeling of sympathy for her, but it was quickly replaced, although not as fast this time, with my anger. But when she started talking I couldn’t help but listen. “Tobias, I’m so sorry. I screwed everything up by doing something completely stupid. I have no idea what I was thinking. There’s no excuse for what I did and I deserve everything you think about me and more. The song that you made was true; all of it was true. I just ran out on you like you didn’t even matter to me anymore. But you do matter to me! You matter to me more than anything else in the world, and I feel terrible that I had to do something like this to figure that out. I feel horrible about it; worse than I’ve ever felt in my life. You weren’t just using me for sex like the idiot I left you for, you truly cared for me because of who I was. That kind of caring is hard to find anywhere and I just went and ruined it. If you never want to see me again then I’d understand, but the reason I came back here is to ask you to forgive me. I know I’ve been the worst wife on the planet, but I’m sorry, so sorry! Please Tobias, can you ever forgive me? I love you and I’ll do anything to prove it to you!”

I think there was more to her little speech, but it became unintelligible after awhile. She had started crying harder the farther she went into her speech, and by the end I could just barely understand her words.

But something hit a tone with me. Even being her husband I had only seen Rachel cry a few times, and most of those were nothing more than a tear or two. She hated crying and would always try and hide the fact that she was doing it, even with me. But now, she was going at it full tilt out on the doorstep where everyone could see her. It made me realize that what she said was true and that she really did want things back to how they were. But there was one thing she said in her speech that really caught my attention. I could’ve picked a whole bunch of things to focus on, but there was one thing in particular that I had to hear again to believe.

“Wait a minute,” I said to her, feeling my anger starting to creep up into me again, “you slept with him too?!”

I already knew the answer, but I was angry at myself for not realizing it sooner. Rachel hadn’t just run away with someone so she could play cards with him, she had run away with him for, well, HIM. And I was too stupid and naive to realize what that really meant before. They had done everything together that any couple would do, including the stuff that only Rachel and I should’ve done between us. I can’t believe that I didn’t realize that until now. And when Rachel painfully nodded her head I felt an anger that I had never felt before; partially for me not realizing it and partially for her doing it.

“God damnit Rachel,” I yelled louder than I ever had at Rachel before as I slammed my fist into the doorframe, “what the hell is wrong with you?”

She instantly began to break down and cry again, but I wasn’t falling for it this time. I was angrier than I’d ever been at that moment. It would take a lot to cool me down after that.

“I know,” she was somehow able to say through my tears, “I know, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry Tobias.”

“Sorry?!” I yelled back at her while feeling the rage pump through my veins, “SORRY?! You think that just by saying sorry it’ll make everything better? Not only did you leave me for someone else but you had sex with him as well! We had made a promise to each other Rachel. It was the most important promise someone can ever make with someone else. We promised to be together forever until we died, just the two of us, but you had to go and piss all over that promise. And now you think that just by saying you’re sorry everything will go back to how it was?”

She was crying harder than I’d ever seen her cry by now, and she deserved every moment. But I couldn’t help feeling sorry for her now. I had gotten out a good bit of my rage after yelling at her, so now I was focused in on her crying. She had never cried like this before and she usually tried as hard as possible to hide it when she cried at all. The longer she cried the more I felt like she was being 100 sincere. But that didn’t mean I was ready to forgive her just like that. She still had hurt me more than I though was possible and I wasn’t going to let her get away with that. By the time she started speaking again I wasn’t sure how I was feeling; everything was starting to mix up inside me.

“I know that I broke the most important promise I’d ever made,” she began through her tears, “and that I also lost your trust too, but I’ve come back here to at least begin to try and make things better. I feel awful about doing what I did and I fully deserve whatever you think of me. If you never want to see me again then I deserve it, but I want you to know that I still love you Tobias. In fact, I probably love you more right now then I ever have before. If there’s anything I could do to prove to you how sorry I am and how much I care for you I’ll do it.”

“You think that just by doing a few chores around the house that everything will go back to the way it was before you left?” I said back to her, angrier about how stupid that sounded more than anything else.

“Tobias,” she said while wiping her tears away yet again, “I’ll do anything to prove to you that I made a huge mistake and that I’m extremely sorry. Anything at all! I love you and I want nothing more than to have things the way they were before.”

Here it was, my chance to get my revenge. I hadn’t exactly been staring blankly at the ceiling or at the TV the entire time Rachel had been gone, I had been thinking. Thinking about what I might do to Rachel if she ever came back. Now, my ideas had ranged from killing her outright to welcoming her back with open arms, but I did have a few ideas in between. And out of all of those I had just decided which one I was going to use. It would be a bit extreme, but it would prove to me without a doubt that Rachel was not only sorry for doing what she had done, but was willing to go to extremes to get me back.

“Follow me,” I said to her quickly as I turned around and began walking into the house. I didn’t even wait to see if she would follow because I knew she would. She had no idea what she was getting into.

Rachel

I gave him a quick look when he opened the door, but once his eyes met mine I couldn’t look into them for long. I felt myself shy away while I diverted my gaze into the ground. I brought my shoulders in and bent my knees a bit to look as small and weak as possible. I didn’t do it on purpose, it just kind of happened. I was use to being the dominant one in the relationship, but now I felt the cruel swapping of positions as I was ready to plead and beg for Tobias to take me back.

But just because I didn’t look at him for long didn’t mean I didn’t get a good look at him. He looked like he hadn’t gotten up and out of bed for a week. His normal slightly messy hair had turned into a massive knot while trying to stick up just about everywhere. He was also wearing a very old T-shirt and sweat pants that had all sorts of food stains splattered across them. And to top it all off he had a week’s old stubble on his usually clean-shaven face.

Both of us just stood there in silence since neither one of us really knew what to do. I had no idea what was going through Tobias’ head, but one of us eventually had to break the silence between us. It would probably be better if I did it.

“Um,” I said with a weak and cracky voice, “hi Tobias.”

I was still avoiding Tobias’ gaze so I didn’t see his reaction, but what he said in response probably said it all.

“You’ve got a lot of nerve coming back here.”

I recoiled back a bit when I heard that because it was like a slap on the face. I had expected a few possible reactions from Tobias, but this was the worst case scenario. I could hear anger in his voice that I had never heard before and I thought for sure that he wanted nothing more to do with me. It hurt. It hurt badly. Tobias had gone from loving me as much as he possibly could to hating me as much as he possibly could all because of one stupid mistake on my part. I knew then that there was probably no way he’d ever accept me back, but I had to try. I couldn’t live with myself if I just walked away now after all I’d been through. As I felt the tears start to form in my eyes I began what might have been my last words to Tobias.

“Tobias, I’m so sorry. I screwed everything up by doing something completely stupid. I have no idea what I was thinking. There’s no excuse for what I did and I deserve everything you think about me and more. The song that you made was true; all of it was true. I just ran out on you like you didn’t even matter to me anymore. But you do matter to me! You matter to me more than anything else in the world, and I feel terrible that I had to do something like this to figure that out. I feel horrible about it; worse than I’ve ever felt in my life. You weren’t just using me for sex like the idiot I left you for, you truly cared for me because of who I was. That kind of caring is hard to find anywhere and I just went and ruined it. If you never want to see me again then I’d understand, but the reason I came back here is to ask you to forgive me. I know I’ve been the worst wife on the planet, but I’m sorry, so sorry! Please Tobias, can you ever forgive me? I love you and I’ll do anything to prove it to you!”

After my little speech I was starting to drown in my own tears. I took a second to wipe away the tears from my eyes with whatever was left of my sleeve and gather myself back together before Tobias finished digesting what I had just said. But his response wasn’t something I was expecting.

“Wait a minute,” he said with a somewhat angry tone, “you slept with him too?!”

I had walked straight into that one. There was no point in trying to lie now, he already knew the truth. I just slowly nodded as I quickly made some shy eye contact with him for a split second. I will never forget how angry he looked when I confirmed what he already knew.

“God damnit Rachel,” he quite literally yelled out at me as he slammed his fist into the doorframe, “what the hell is wrong with you?”

I couldn’t help myself after hearing that and broke down to tears again. “I know,” I was somehow able to say through my tears, “I know, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry Tobias.”

“Sorry?!” he yelled back at me, “SORRY?! You think that just by saying sorry it’ll make everything better? Not only did you leave me for someone else but you had sex with him as well! We had made a promise to each other Rachel. It was the most important promise someone can ever make with someone else. We promised to be together until we died, just the two of us, but you had to go and piss all over that promise. And now you think that just by saying you’re sorry everything will go back to how it was?”

I was enveloped with tears by now. So much so that I had trouble getting out anything that could be recognized as words. But I was eventually able to calm myself down enough so I could talk again.

“I know that I broke the most important promise I’d ever made and that I also lost your trust too, but I’ve come back here to at least begin to try and make things better. I feel awful about doing what I did and I fully deserve whatever you think of me. If you never want to see me again then I deserve it, but I want you to know that I still love you Tobias. In fact, I probably love you more right now then I ever have before. If there’s anything I could do to prove to you how sorry I am and how much I care for you I’ll do it.”

“You think that just by doing a few chores around the house that everything will go back to the way it was before you left?” Tobias said back to me, not as forcefully as his previous statements though.

“Tobias,” I said while wiping the tears away yet again, “I’ll do anything to prove to you that I made a huge mistake and that I’m extremely sorry. Anything at all! I love you and I want nothing more than to have things the way they were before.”

After a short moment of silence I got up enough courage to look into his face again. He was busy thinking about what I said, but his stubble still made him look as angry as I’d ever seen him.

After a while he turned his eyes to meet mine and said, “Follow me,” before turning around and making his way into the house. I hesitated just a split second before tentatively following him inside.