What Really Goes on Behind the Cash Register

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A/N – My brother made the idea for this story. While he sucks at writing, he can amazingly come up with some interesting ideas. He was just all, “What if the Super Smash Bros. characters worked at McDonald’s?” And I was all, “HOLY CRAP we have a fanfic!” He came up with the plot, and I wrote it down. Enjoy! ;D

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Chapter One: Marth, Ike, and… Roy?

McDonald’s. One of the world’s most famous fast food joints. The home of the famous Big Mac. Home of the greatest French fries your taste buds could ever have the pleasure of savoring. The home of the unfortunate souls who work for a living there. Unfortunately for two Super Smash Bros. brawlers, this nightmare was a reality. Marth and Ike, two young men, had been working behind the cash register of McDonald’s for God knows how long. This involved dealing with questionable costumers, the long merciless work hours, and their annoying manager known as Mr. Tabuu. Saying Marth and Ike hated their job would have been an understatement. But then came the day that maybe their job promised some entertainment.

Marth and Ike stood behind the counter, their backs facing towards it. Mr. Tabuu, the aging looking man with an interesting skin tone, stood before them with the poise of a boss. Standing next to him was a more pathetic looking figure, quivering with fear every so often. The young redhead’s eyes darted around anxiously. The already McDonald’s employees, one with short blue hair and the other with untamed purple hair, hitched eyebrows in curiosity. The redhead seemed familiar, almost as if they knew him from somewhere. As the familiar young man continued his fretful trembling, Tabuu spoke up in a loud voice.

“This is our new employee,” Tabuu explained as he slapped the young man on the back. The redhead stumbled forward slightly. “His name is Roy!”

“Roy…?” Marth and Ike echoed in unison. The name was definitely familiar.

“…Hello,” the young man named Roy tittered, waving slightly at them.

Ike snickered to himself, averting his eyes from the sight. Marth quickly glanced at his friend curiously, but then looked back at Roy. It was obvious what Ike had been thinking. The Roy guy was a total pansy. Marth only hoped Ike wouldn’t give the newbie a lot of trouble. He wasn’t about to hold his breath, though. Their manager ignored Ike’s snickering and continued.

“Seeing as how you two have shifts today, I’d like you to show Roy the ropes,” their boss said. “He’ll be working on the cash register today, so show him how it’s done.”

With that said, Tabuu took off. Once he was out of earshot, Marth and Ike turned to each other with wide smirks. However, this made Roy more nervous. He was unaware that the smirks were for Tabuu.

“Finally,” Ike chortled. “Butterfly man is gone!”

Roy trembled. “B-butterfly man?”

“Long story,” Marth sighed, placing his hand on the guy’s back. “I’ll show you how to work the cash register.”

Marth showed Roy how to work the buttons on the machine. As this went on, Ike opened up some ketchup packets and began squirting them on the newbie. This ended up only with Marth and Ike having a ketchup and mustard war. Roy watched from behind the counter in fear.

“Won’t Mr. Tabuu get mad?” he asked with a quivering voice.

Ike looked up at him, covered in the mustard Marth had been squirting on him. “You mean butterfly man?”

“I’ll clean it up!” Roy yelped nervously. He rushed out from behind the counter and began cleaning up the floor with a mop.

Marth and Ike returned behind the counter, resting their elbows on it. They watched Roy hurry frantically around the McDonald’s with the mop. After a moment they realized why Roy was so familiar. Marth used to be in a game with him. They side-glanced at each other as Roy slipped on a puddle of ketchup.

“Wasn’t that guy cut?” Ike whispered loudly.

Marth nodded. “I do believe so.”

“I can hear every word you’re saying!” Roy snapped from his spot on the floor, showing backbone for the first time since he arrived.

Marth and Ike found Roy returning to his spot behind the cash register. It had been a rather slow day for McDonald’s. Luckily for Roy, no one had come in yet. He was too jittery to deal with anyone just yet. And Ike seemed to make a hobby of tormenting the poor boy. Especially with ketchup. As to why Ike had a ketchup fetish, he didn’t know. And quiet frankly, he didn’t want to know. Roy found out that Ike and Marth were quite the slackers, goofing off rather than working. It was amazing Mr. Tabuu hadn’t fired them yet. Ike and Marth were behind the counter with Roy, having a napkin airplane race, when the bell on the door chimed. Roy stiffened and stared blankly ahead, awaiting his first customer. He heard the approaching footsteps, but never saw his customer. All three employees confused, Roy leaned over the counter to see if someone had come.

“Hello?”

“Hello indeed!” a voice laced with a mysterious tone breathed loudly.

Roy yelled and jumped back. Trembling, he glanced down over the counter to see a spherical figure, masked with yellow glowing eyes peering out from behind it. There was a flowing purple cape on his back, and he stared up at Roy, obviously bored.

“C-can I help you, sir?” welcomed Roy, growing more and more nervous.

“I’d like a double cheeseburger,” Meta Knight said coolly. There was a dramatic pause as histrionic music played from out of nowhere. Meta Knight whipped his cape around and shielded half of his face with it. “With a side of… mysterious!” The dramatic music played again.

Marth looked around curiously, looking for the source of the music. “Did you turn the radio on, Ike?”

“Oh, yeah I did. Sorry about that,” Ike admitted as he headed over to the switch on the wall that turned the radio on and off.

“A ch-cheeseburger and a side of w-what?” Roy stammered, his hands hovering over the cash register. The pitiable sight was enough to make Ike and Marth snicker. They remained behind the poor boy, just waiting to see what would happen.

“A side of… enigmatic!” exclaimed Meta Knight with a hushed voice. The dramatic music could be heard again.

Marth sent an annoyed look at his purple haired friend. “I thought you turned the radio off,” he sighed as Roy began trembling violently.

Ike looked utterly puzzled as he switched the radio off again. “I thought I did, too.”

“Is that… is that a side of fries?” Roy inquired, his voice cracking nervously.

“Super size me with a side of… covert!” Meta Knight dramatized, whipping his cape around mysteriously. Roy began to get nervous, unable to complete the costumer’s order. The dramatic music playing in the background wasn’t helping much, either. Grumbling, Ike switched the radio off for the third time.

“A s-side of fries th-then,” Roy finally decided as he punched a few buttons on the cash register. “That’ll b-be four ninety-nine.”

“I’d also like a soda,” Meta Knight added, now using a voice without a dramatic touch. “Surreptitiously flavored!”

Cue cape whipping and dramatic music.

“…A Coke then…” Roy pressed another button, bringing up the price of Meta Knight’s order.

The whole time, Marth and Ike were struggling to keep their laughter contained. Watching Roy squirm was the cherry on top of their crappy job. It had been a while since they were able to have fun while working, and the newbie was sure bringing them enough entertainment to last them the whole day. They could only wonder what the nervous Roy would do to entertain them tomorrow.

“Five dollars and thirty cents,” Roy told Meta Knight.

The caped sphere pulled out a one hundred dollar bill, holding it up in the air.

“I only have a hundred,” he explained, “and I need all my change in nickels.” For some odd reason, this caused a dramatic tune to play in the background.

Roy paled, the pupils of his eyes contracting. He glanced up from Meta Knight and stared ahead of him into the abyss. A trail of sweat could be seen forming around his forehead. Smiling somewhat anxiously, Roy passed out and fell backwards, landing flat on his back. Meta Knight remained where he was, confused. Ike broke out into laughter as Marth loomed over the unconscious Roy. The purple haired employee had to hold his sides, fearing they would split open from all the laughing he was doing. Marth grinned nervously, wondering how such a nervous person as Roy was able to score a job at McDonald’s.

“Oh, yeah,” Marth said under his breath. “This is going to be a long day.”

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TO BE CONTINUED…