I kept stopping in the middle of this and coming back to it, reading the thing and going “what the hell?” Any continuity errors (Ringo’s eyebrows suddenly disappearing, John turning blue and upside down or Paul suddenly tap dancing) are because of this.

Also I found it very hard to write George for some reason… none of this belongs to me.

It was a long time before anyone spoke. Sadie, like Lucy, had her arms full of groceries and yet she was not looking the least bit winded… it was more pained. Her eyes fell on each one of them, on Ahme, on the short man (who did not have the decency to introduce himself, God bless him), on John, Paul, George and Ringo, who all looked very startled. To be honest, the four stars looked like they were going to bolt if this ended up like the encounter with Lucy.

At last Sadie looked at Jude and raised an eyebrow. He was still covered in red paint, and it was drying on his skin and his hair. Slowly, Sadie bent down and set the bags at the top of the stairs. She blinked, looking at everyone again and at the machine that had been used just a little bit before.

“…Jude?” Her tone was disapproving.

“Ay?”

“… those are the Beatles, aren’t they.”

“… ay.”

“And… those people? They’re not uh… with them?”

“… no.”

“And you’re covered in red paint because?”

The short man spoke up. “A sacrifice to the great Kaili,” he said grandly, gesturing toward the paint bucket.

“You’re painting him red… for a sacrifice?”

“Ay,” Jude replied, still clutching the banister, one leg extended behind him the other closer to his body. The position was growing uncomfortable but he hadn’t had time to move since he had attempted to stop himself from falling.

Sadie looked back at Jude. “So you’re completely okay with this.”

“Uh, no, no’ really.”

“Uh-huh. Hey, you… the one with the eyebrows,” she looked surprised as both Paul and George stepped forward. Obviously she hadn’t expected one of them to listen, but the surprise was again replaced with that normal calm sort of look.

“No, I mean… the one that looks like… um…” She sighed and picked up one of the grocery bags. “Well one of you guys carry the other bag in. My arms’re killing me.”

There was a moment when both stepped forward, and then George shrugged and retrieved the bag. In a moment he had nearly dropped it, looking at the paper holding device with obvious shock. “Wot the ‘ell’s in ‘ere?” He exclaimed, hefting the bag. “Rocks?!”

John snickered. “Come off i’, son. They can’t be tha’ ‘eavy.” He took the bag from George and his amused expression slid off his face. “Yer carryin’ more than groce’ries,” he observed.

“Well think how I felt carrying them all the way from the store,” Sadie growled, glaring at John, who took that moment to dump the bags into the arms of the unsuspecting Paul. Meanwhile, Ahme and the short man made a swift getaway. For comic purposes, Jude still hadn’t moved from his position on the stairs and his leg was beginning to cramp up.

Paul nearly dropped the bag but caught it at the last minute, eyes widening at the weight of it. “Yer serious abou’ this?” He asked incredulously.

“No, I’m completely kidding.” Sadie’s bad mood was a bit startling, but then again Jude supposed it was excusable because she had to carry the damn things all the way from wherever it was she had gotten the groceries. “One of you take the bags, or you’ll have to go outside.”

Normally this would not seem like such a threat, but if one was to consider who it was Sadie was talking to and the reactions that would ensue, it was quite a good move on her part. Almost immediately, Paul had stumbled inside with the bag and there was a thud followed by a cry of “cor blimey this thin’s ‘eavy!”

Sadie followed after him with the bag, no complaints coming from her but there was another unmistakable thud as she set the bag down. Jude wondered if there really were more than groceries in the bag, but decided not to ask.

Ringo looked down at Jude, who’s nose was beginning to itch. “Come ‘ead, or John’ll start ter ask if ‘e can cut yer fingers off.” At this John smiled innocently.

“Wot? Ritch, I wouldn’ dream o—“

“Quiet,” Ringo warned, standing right in front of John, pointing at him in a way that would have been menacing had he not been shorter. “I’ll ‘ave you know me fingers make a contribution ter the band an’ there’ll be no cutting them off.”

He scoffed and pushed Ringo’s finger away. “Well there’s no’ a reason ter cut them off anymore. Don’ worry.”

With that John went back into the apartment leaving Ringo and Jude outside. The former looked at his new red acquaintance and frowned. “… can you stand up?”

“Jus’ gimme a mo,” Jude replied, pulling himself up painfully into a standing position. One leg still suck out far behind him and Ringo had to help him back into the apartment, for it’s common knowledge that walking with only one leg is tricky business.

Next chapter: The lads (and Jude with Max) venture outside. What whacky hijinks will ensue? Will Ahme and Clang attempt to get the ring again? Where the hell is Bhuta?! Wait until next time on I’d Like to Go There!