All You Did Was Save My Life

-

I'm not for sale but I've been sold
The more I hear the less I know
The lies are swallowed whole in there insignificance

The story’s been told a million times, but it's different when it's your life

xXx

Peyton slammed her phone shut and screamed loudly at the rectangle in her hand. “Go fuck yourself.”

Tearing the door open, she walked through the house until she located Brooke, who was sitting cross legged on her bed.

Throwing herself beside her best friend, Peyton angrily exclaimed that men were absolute dumb fucks.

“Somebody’s worked up.” Brooke quirked her eyebrow up. “Who did the damage this time?”

“They all suck. All of them. My God.” Peyton felt like breaking things. She turned to face Brooke, who was just staring at her. Sighing, she fed her friend a bit of information. “I drunkenly told off Lucas yesterday. I’m pretty sure we’re never going to be friends again, much less anything more.”

“Do you regret that?”

“Not really.” Peyton answered without hesitation.

“Okay, so who are you really pissed at right now?” Brooke smiled patiently.

She couldn’t tell her, even now. Peyton didn’t now if it was lingering guilt over the whole he-was-Haley’s-husband thing or if she just liked that her and Nathan’s relationship was a secret, but she couldn’t muster up the energy to tell Brooke that it was Nathan that she had been sneaking around with, Nathan she had broken and who was breaking her.

“He’s a jack ass.” Peyton said sullenly.

“So drop him.”

“I love him.” She admitted, her stomach churning at the thought.

“And here I was thinking you’d gotten over your thing for ass hats after you and Nathan broke up.” Brooke said, missing the slight wince Peyton tried to hide.

“He’s only being an ass now because I really messed up.” She sighed, trying to work out how much she could tell Brooke without her friend guessing who she was talking about. “I need your advice. I’m going crazy here.”

“Okay, define how you messed up. Did you cheat on him?”

“Kind of, but worse… I guess you can call it an emotional affair.” Peyton chewed on her lip. “…With Luke.”

Brooke looked at her, wide-eyed with understanding. “Is that what the hoopla’s all about? You were with another guy, happy, and then Lucas takes his head out of his ass and confuses the crap out of you, and this other guy gets pissed off, and then you decide you don’t want Lucas but the damage’s already done?”

“Pretty much,” Peyton blinked in surprise at her friend for ascertaining the situation so quickly.

“Well, then, this new guy’s an idiot. You were head over heels for Lucas and the fact that you’ve decided you want New Guy over Luke is ground breaking. Everyone has exes and he should understand that you had a moment of weakness when someone you thought you’d grow old with suddenly walked back into the picture,” Brooke said.

“I told him about Luke before hand; he knew all about that baggage. And I assured him I was over Luke. I’m pretty sure he would never have gotten so invested if I hadn’t absolutely promised him that I didn’t want to be with Lucas any more.”

“But you don’t. That’s the thing, isn’t it? You don’t want to be with Luke any more.”

“But I chose Lucas over the new guy initially and it really hurt him. He’s had to deal with a lot of relationship crap in his past and he has serious trust issues. I want to be with him, but he’s pissed as hell and it hurts like nothing else.”

“If this was high school, I’d tell you to date someone else and smoke him out of his pissiness, but since I don’t think high school dating tactics would help much anymore… I guess you’ve just got to try to make him see how important he is to you.”

“He pretty much rips out my heart every time I try.”

“Then tell him he’s a dick and that you’re ready to be with him when he grows the fuck up and decides that being with you is more important than punishing you for your mistake.”

“I’ve tried to do that…I’m just scared he won’t come back.”

“Honey, like I’ve said from the start, you deserve someone who realizes how lucky they are to have you and yet you always choose the ass holes who take you for granted every time.” Brooke crossed her arms. “If he doesn’t come back, screw him.”

“He didn’t take me for granted, Brooke. I really messed up. Hell, I don’t know if I would come back if I were him.” Peyton exhaled. “It feels like I have a few sucky, limited options- be a doormat and beg him to come back, which I’m not doing, or just give up and try to move on, which I really don’t want to do.”

“You’ve put your cards on the table. He knows how you feel. I think continuing to press the point is just going to end up with you torturing yourself. I really think you should just back down and move on. There’s a time for fighting for someone and a time for just walking away so they realize how much they want you.”

“Standing down seems like such a passive move…”

“Standing beside him when he’s lashing out like a toddler is worse than passivity. It’s masochistic.”

Peyton laughed. “Funny. I was just telling him that I was masochistic for sticking around.”

“Well, you’ve always liked to put yourself through the most painful crap possible just because you’re stubborn and drawn to the people who will hurt you the most.” Brooke shook her head. “You make me sick with worry, I hope you know.”

“It wasn’t like that with him. We were so good for each other.”

“Then either he’ll decide the good is worth forgiving you for, or you’ll find someone better.”

“Why is the ball completely in his court?” Peyton grumbled.

“Because the one who’s most open about how much they care has the least power.” Brooke answered wisely.

Peyton sat leaned back against Brooke’s pillows and sighed. It was that mindset that had landed her and Nathan into his stupid cycle. She wished they could both stop caring about who had the power and realize they were on the same side. Of course, it was her stupid fault that he felt like he had to hold up arms against her.

Which was something Brooke reminded her of, “…And, you know, he wasn’t the one that messed up, honey.”

xXx

“Nathan! You slept with her more than once?” Lucas’s furious voice sailed into Nathan as he was browsing through the grocery store.

Nathan grimaced. He knew this day would come, he had just really hoped that it was a moment he would have seen coming beforehand.

He turned around and hoped it was possible for both of them to keep rational, but judging by the lasers shooting out of Lucas’s eyes, he doubted the likelihood of that.

“…So, I’m going to take a wild stab and say Peyton told you.”

“You ass hole.” Lucas’s clenched fist swung out and connected with a solid thud against Nathan’s eye.

He buckled backwards into a shelf display of kraft dinner, kicking himself for not being prepared for that.

“Huh. I’m normally the one that gets angry and starts punching people.” Nathan said lightly, straining to calm the situation down. He stood up and clutched at his eye, wondering when his brother developed such a good right cross. “You’re upset. That’s understandable.”

“Upset.” Lucas spat out hollowly. “You’ve been screwing Peyton for God knows how long behind all of our backs and you have the balls to just stand there and act like you didn’t just stab the crap out of my back.” He took a step closer to Nathan, who promptly brought his arms up defensively just in case. “You know how I found out? At your Goddamn make-Nathan-feel-better party, drunk as hell, I get to hear all about how she’s giving up on us because she’d rather be fucked by you than loved by me.”

Nathan was blindsided by that tidbit and Lucas took the opportunity to grab him by the front of his shirt and shove him hard against the shelf. Nathan’s eyes darkened as he roughly pushed his brother off of him. “Look. You got one free punch because you’re hurting, but get your hands off me man.”

“I should rip out your heart so you know how it feels, you bastard.” Lucas’s arms were up again but this time Nathan blocked his blow.

“Don’t worry about that. I know how it feels.” He said, trying not to get angry at his dumb ass brother’s misguided assumptions.

By this time, a crowd was starting to gather. The manager and a small fleet of clerks came rushing forward. “We’re going to have to ask you to leave,” The manager said, his voice both stern and nervous.

Lucas stalked out without another word.

Nathan rubbed his sore face again and apologized for the mess before following the blond.

“You gonna keep yelling at me, or are you gonna stomp off?” Nathan said to Lucas’s back.

Lucas spun around and jabbed his finger angrily in Nathan’s face, “You have a family. Did you think about anyone before you did that? Me? Haley? Jamie?”

“Oh, suck it Lucas.” Nathan rolled his eyes. “Like I told you back when you walked in on us in Peyton’s office, neither of us were in relationships and there was nothing despicable about what we did.”

“So what, you’re just going to get back with Haley like nothing happened?”

“That’s exactly what you and Peyton were trying to do, wasn’t it?” Nathan bit out. “You saw her on top of me and you still wanted her, didn’t you?”

“She doesn’t me want me. Do you have to take everything from me?” Luke’s voice was thick with accusation. “You became the basketball star, you married my best friend; did you have to steal Peyton too?”

“You’re kidding me with this, right?” Nathan laughed, “I had basketball before you ripped the glory out of my hands and Peyton was my girlfriend before she decided she wanted you instead. Dan adopted you into his life when I emancipated myself and even when we were happily married Haley was always closer to you than to me. You’re the one that’s been ripping things out of my life and taking it for yourself, piece by piece.”

“Maybe you just fail at everything. I made the Ravens a much stronger team; I got Peyton to stop running from her feelings, and Dan was probably a better father to me in the year that you walked away from me than he had ever been to you. As for Haley, if I wasn’t around you’d probably have destroyed her spirit by now.”

“I thought we out grew of this petty competition.” Nathan shook his head. “But every minute of every day you’re still struggling against being the unpopular, lame Scott, aren’t you? It’s ingrained in you.”

Lucas snorted loudly. “You tell yourself that. I’ve always been the better man, there’s no question of that.”

“I’m walking away now Lucas, before my self restraint dies and I hit you. And trust me, if I hit you, you won’t be getting back up that easily.” Nathan said lowly as he tried to sidestep his brother.

“We had everything. And you just had to wreck it.” Luke shook his head.

“Wake the hell up, man. Our lives were never as idyllic as you’re implying. Maybe everything’s a mess right now, but it’s a real mess. Not a pretty little picture filled with lies and self doubt.” Nathan answered without turning around. He was so sick of trying to justify himself to his brother, sick of being seen as the screwed up Scott. Lucas was more of a disaster than he was, but no one ever saw that.

xXx

That afternoon, Peyton tagged along with Brooke on her random errands and the two ended up at the Scott house, hanging out with Haley and Jamie. Peyton was uneasy even stepping foot in the house but she finally learned that avoiding people and that which was unpleasant was not a solution she could fall back on anymore.

Watching how Haley was with her son made Peyton wonder what the hell she and Nathan were thinking when they thought they could entwine themselves and have everyone be all right with it. The Scotts had the perfect familial unit and her sex drive had ruined it. How did she ignore reason for so long?

Nathan had a wife who brought out the best in him and a son who loved him more than words and he had decided that he wanted Peyton. Did she really think that he hadn’t considered the ramifications of that decision? He had weighted the potential fall out and had decided she was worth it. She had taken one look at his brother’s pleading eyes and walked away from his open heart without even considering how big of a deal it was that Nathan was with her.

“Hey Nate.” Brooke grinned, breaking Peyton out of her sullen thoughts. He had just walked in the back door and Jamie was already flying into his arms.

Nathan laughed and picked his son up before casually glancing around the room. He barely reacted to Peyton’s presence. “Hey. I’m not interrupting another girls’ hang out, am I?”

Haley shook her head and smiled, “Jamie’s favourite aunts just decided to drop by, that’s all.” A frown quickly developed as she looked at him. “What happened to your face?”

“I was playing ball with some of the guys and got whacked in the face trying to block a pass.” Nathan chuckled. “Still stings.” Haley told him that he should be more careful with the guys and offered him ice, which he declined, but Peyton felt the slight sheen of falsity in his laugh and her stomach dropped in wondering what really happened.

“Come on, let’s get your stuff.” Nathan said to the boy.

“Swing me, momma!” Jamie wheedled, waving his left arm at his mother as his right clutched tightly onto Nathan’s.

She grinned, clasped his hand, and met Nathan’s eyes as the two swung Jamie between them as they made their way towards Jamie’s room in synchronization.

Peyton couldn’t look away from the picture perfect scene. Seeing the Scott family together made her see that walking away from Nathan could have been the best thing she could have done for him. She was a fool to have believed even for a second that he could be happier with her than with Haley. Her decision to choose Lucas had ignited the reconciliation of Haley and Nathan and pushed him back towards the life that he rightfully earned. He didn’t deserve to be a divorcee at twenty three and Peyton had always known that their pledge of always and forever was not rash or illegitimate. Haley had saved Nathan...and Nathan had saved Peyton. She had to let him go back to what had always been destined for him. They were the real deal. Peyton had just been another test along the way.

“Jamie’s so adorable.” Brooke smiled beside her.

“All of them are.” Peyton said, drinking in the echoes of laughter that rang down the hallway.

When they reappeared with Jamie’s backpack, Nathan and Peyton’s eyes met again but once again his eyes didn’t so much as darken. He looked away without hesitation, leaving her to try to cover up the emotion she was sure was present in her own eyes. The effort wasn’t necessary, everyone was looking at Jamie.

“So we better get going. We’re meeting Skillz and Mouth on the boardwalk.”

“Getting some sun?” Brooke asked.

“Getting some ice cream.” Jamie beamed.

“And video games.” Nathan added seriously.

“Wanna come?” Jamie ran up to Brooke and took her hand. “Come on Aunt Brooke. And momma, you should come too. And Aunt Peyton.”

Haley smiled that she guessed she could use some ice cream and the gang started grabbing their jackets. Peyton kept her face neutral but didn’t fail to notice that she was an afterthought in the kid’s invitation- and why shouldn’t she be? She was never all that great with kids, angry loners not included, and she knew she’d never be a wacky fun aunt like Brooke was. The kid barely knew her and it was probably better that way.

She had never felt quite so awkward and excluded. “You know, I think I’m just going to head back to Tric-“ Peyton smiled.

“No way!” Jamie protested, relinquishing his hold on Brooke and launching himself beside Peyton. “I wanna play video games with both my aunts.” He slipped his hand in hers, “I’ll even supply the quarters.”

She had to smile genuinely at his enthusiasm. “You can keep your quarters, baby James- if you let me buy you a cone.”

“Sounds like a good deal to me,” He grinned, pulling her out the door.

Down at the ice cream parlour, Haley tried to say that Peyton didn’t need to buy Jamie’s cone but she had wryly responded that one ice cream wasn’t exactly going to make up for four missed birthdays. Brooke had laughed that Peyton was always meant to be the person that just gave cash anyways, but Jamie had climbed into Peyton’s lap while the group waited for the sundaes to be made and said that he liked cash.

Haley, Brooke, and Peyton ate their cones slowly while the guys scarfed theirs down hastily to free their hands for the arcade.

After a moment, Peyton commented on how typical they were being by standing back while the guys had all the fun. Haley and Brooke looked at her and snorted.

“This is a fresh manicure, P Sawyer.” Brooke had wriggled her hand in front of her.

“I’ve never understood the appeal of video games.” Haley had scrunched up her nose. “Besides, I like just watching the guys.”

Peyton finished her cone, shrugged, and joined the guys. As a tween, she had spent a decent amount of time in mall arcades waiting for Brooke to finish up in the multitude of dressing rooms she’d inhabited since childhood. It had been more interesting than just sitting around, at least.

“Dibs on next round.” She said. Skillz and Jamie were playing a shooting game. Skillz looked at her sceptically and she raised her eyebrows at the look. “What, a girl can’t like video games?”

“Just didn’t think you would.” Skillz shrugged. Jamie relinquished hold of the plastic gun and handed it to Peyton.

“Well prepare to get destroyed.”

“Like I’m sure I’ve said before, baby they don’t call me Skillz for nothin’.”

Three minutes later, Peyton was smirking in satisfaction while Skillz sullenly stuck his gun back in the game holster. “This was my favourite way to kill time and avoid people at the mall back in the day.”

“Wow. Gang’s all here.” Lucas said tersely, interrupting her gloating.

“Hey, what’re you doing here?” Haley asked her best friend.

“I was just taking a break from writing.” He shrugged.

“…I’m going to get more ice cream. Anyone else want anything?” Peyton cleared her throat, her smile unnaturally bright.

“You know, I think we’re going to head back, actually.” Haley said. “We can wait for you to order and then all ride back together“

“No, that’s okay.” Peyton said quickly.

Lucas cleared his throat. “I could use some ice cream; I can drive her back.”

Peyton nodded and walked out. She waited for him to close the arcade door so she could meet his eyes levelly.

“I’m not trying to stalk you or anything.” He said, stiff as a board, once the two had walked a safe distance away. “I just know that I’ve said a fair few things that I’ve regretted when I’ve been drunk, and I wanted to give you one chance to either re-say what you said, sober, or to apologize. Being drunk was a cop out and I’m done going in circles.”

“I get what you mean and I appreciate that you’re being reasonable about this.” She swallowed and tried not to focus on her pounding heart. “And it was probably the liquor and my emotions that made me say that it wasn’t good between us, physically, because you know that’s not true… but I did mean it when I said I can’t be with you.”

“Okay.” He said, and started to turn around.

“Luke, wait.” She couldn’t leave things the way they were. “I know you loved me, and you know I really did love you. But that was high school.”

“You can’t say that. If you hadn’t said someday, or if I had just waited, or if you hadn’t assumed I was dating Lindsay at that book signing, or if I had walked away from Lindsay when you asked me to- we’d be together. There are so many things that happened in the last two years that had they happened just slightly differently, we’d probably be happily married by now.” Lucas clenched his jaw; working furiously to keep his tone calm.

“Maybe so. But those situations belong in the same box as the world in which my mom left five minutes earlier to pick me up from school, where I had been paying more attention to the road that night I almost ran you over, or where you hadn’t found me in the library during the school shooting; where Jake hadn’t heard me say that I loved you in my sleep, or where you hadn’t come with me that day to see if it was my dad’s body they found.” Peyton took his hand, unsurprised when he moved it out of her reach. “Lucas, we can’t know what exactly would have happened if we had done something differently. It’s all in the past. Whether it was a month ago or five years ago- it’s all in the past and we can’t change anything about it. We’ve got to accept our choices and have faith that they’ll take us where we’re meant to go. The world of maybes could have had us together, yeah. But that world also could have had us never meeting, or of a billion other scenarios of pain and loss. That world and everything it carried with it was destroyed when the choice was made.”

“Those choices might be dead and gone but right now, you’re actively choosing against me.” He closed his eyes tightly. “You don’t want me anymore, that’s all there is to it.”

“Lucas, look at me,” Peyton felt her eyes water at how broken he sounded and his statement was false on such a deep level that she didn’t know if she could ever make him understand. “I meant it all those times I said that you saved me. I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for you and that’s a fact. You were the first boy I ever loved and you were the first boy I ever trusted enough to open myself up for, the first boy I ever fought like hell for, and the first boy I ever loved enough to let go for his own good. That will always be there between us. Always. We don’t have a future but we’ll always have our past. You rescued me, Lucas. And I will always love you for that.”

“Why can’t you love me now?” Lucas whispered, ever so vulnerable.

“Because I’m not the girl you loved and you’re not the boy. We’ve grown up, Luke. And that isn’t a bad thing. We’re not who we were when we were together. So can’t we please just love each other for what we had and move on with what’s to come? We’ve been through too damn much to hate each other now, don’t you think? I know I care about you too much to ever hate you.”

He couldn’t look at her, couldn’t face the woman who had once been his whole world. He was silent and still for a moment before he just started walking away. She stood there watching his back, relieved that the ordeal was over and thinking that no matter what happened now, at least she would have said her piece. She watched as Lucas slid into his car and kick started the engine.

Lucas had to drive past her to get out of the area and he slowed down beside her just as she had turned to walk in the other direction. “You need a ride, right?”

“You know what? Don’t worry about it. My place isn’t far.” She waved away his chivalry in an attempt to respect his feelings.

“I have to tell Haley that Nathan was sleeping around, you understand that, don’t you?”

“Luke-!” She turned around, her insides freezing.

“It isn’t because I’m angry, or hurt, or any of that. She’s got to know. She deserves to know.”

“Let Nathan tell her in his own way, on his own time.” She pleaded.

But Lucas just rolled his window back up and sped off.

Peyton watched in bewilderment as Lucas drove away; wildly considering chasing after the car. Kicking off her heels and stuffing them in her bag, she ran like hell towards her house that luckily really wasn’t far off.

She dialled Nathan’s cell, but he didn’t pick up. She swore loudly and dialled Brooke. “Where are you guys?”

“Back at Haley’s with the guys. Deb’s over too. Man, it’s still weird seeing her with Skillz-“

“Uh huh that’s nice, can you give the phone to Nathan please?”

“He’s in the washroom, hon.”

“It’s important that I talk to him now.”

“Why are you out of breath?”

Because I’m running like hell. “Brooke!”

“All right.” Peyton heard knocking. “Nate, Peyton’s on the phone for you. Says it’s important.” Muffled talking. “Ew, okay, walking away now. Peyton, he’s busy okay? Do you want to tell me instead?”

Fuck. “No, never mind, I’m on my way there.”

Peyton leapt into her car once she reached her driveway, stuck her shoes back on, and broke every speed limit between her place and Haley’s- resulting in her getting pulled over three blocks away from her destination. She tried very hard not to swear her ass off at the cop, who lectured her on speeding in a residential area and sternly went on about how dangerous she was being. She accepted the ticket he handed her and gritted her teeth together as she slowly trudged the last few minutes to the house because she knew the cop was watching her.

She pulled against the curb, ran past Lucas’s already parked car, and threw herself into the house. She prayed he hadn’t said anything yet but as she stumbled into the room, she knew she was too late. Deb and Jamie were absent, but everyone else was gathered and staring alternately at the Scott brothers. Lucas was mid-rant.

“-there’s no excuse for what he did. I don’t know how long it’s been going on, but I couldn’t just stand here and let you all assume he was being a perfect chaste gentleman during this whole thing.”

It was like watching a car crash from the sidewalk. She could see the impact before it occurred, could predict the damage, but she was absolutely helpless to change the outcome. Her face froze in horror as she saw the reactions of her friends; a slow transgression of judgement and disbelief. She looked around, uneasily waiting for their appalled gaze to land on her. But their eyes were stuck on Nathan and she wondered why she wasn’t getting the same treatment.

Nathan, for his part, managed to look surprisingly calm. He swallowed and glanced around the room, meeting everyone in the eye before resting his gaze on Haley, who looked absolutely crushed. “Haley, I’m-“

“Is it true? Have you been sleeping with some woman this whole time?” Haley’s words were a choked whisper of pain.

“Yes.” He said. “But I want to make this perfectly clear to you- I have never cheated on you. I barely noticed other women when we were together and that is the honest truth. But after I got divorce papers… yes, I slept with another woman. Multiple times.”

Peyton didn’t know how he managed to say his piece with such composure. His words were precise, without stutter and he did not ramble in a desperate attempt to explain away his actions.

She was stunned at how well he was doing and her surprise blocked away full understanding of the situation at hand until Haley answered, her voice now chillingly cold, “You didn’t even wait for the ink to dry, did you? What’d you do, just jump in bed with the first woman to smile at you?”

Peyton felt her stomach plummet down another level just as she thought it had already hit rock bottom. She suddenly realized that Lucas had told the room that Nathan had been screwing around, but he had left out that she was the one he had been sleeping with.

She looked at Lucas quickly and found that he was looking right back at her, his eyes speaking to her as clearly as they always seemed to. He knew that she realized his discretion and his eyes acknowledged that it was absolutely intentional and meant as a mercy for her. They were still so coated with hurt, but she understood that this act was meant as a silent way to tell her that he still cared about her.

Lucas’s morals and ironclad loyalty to Haley meant that there was simply no way he could swallow keeping silent. He had only done so earlier because he just didn’t think a one time slip up was worth destroying a six year relationship. Once Peyton had removed that misconception, he knew he had to tell his best friend. And a more understanding, less hurt Lucas would have made Nathan do it- but he was human, and reckless when in pain. His anger at Nathan clouded over any inclination he had to lessen the level of difficulty his brother had to deal with. He needed to tell Haley the truth and he tangibly wanted to hurt Nathan. But after Peyton’s heartfelt words and with a decade’s worth of love for the woman, Lucas couldn’t bring himself to drag Peyton into the mess, even if she was equally involved. He knew his stupidity had driven Peyton to Nathan’s arms and he simply didn’t want to see her get ripped apart by the choices she had made when nursing the pain he had caused her. In his way, he was still trying to save her.

Peyton met Lucas’s eyes with gratified understanding for a moment before she turned her gaze to Nathan, who could no longer sustain the strength to hold his head up high.

“I’m sorry, Hales.” He swallowed; the straight unyielding stance he had carried himself in wilted under the penetrating, red-hot condemnatory expressions boring into him from the people closest to him in the world.

His eyes met Peyton’s and the pain he was in was covered with a clear imploration; he raised his eyebrows just minutely as if to say keep quiet and just go with it. He had understood Lucas’s act of compassion in leaving Peyton out of it and he had no desire to dirty her in this matter either.

Nathan closed his eyes and bowed to the wrath he had known would come ever since he kissed Peyton beside his gazebo. He knew he was going down but really, what good would it do to make Peyton go down with him? “I’m sorry for hurting you. For keeping this from all of you. I’m not going to try and deny anything. I will accept the consequences of my actions.”

Peyton looked around at the malcontent on the faces around her, knowing she should feel grateful that she didn’t have to endure it.

She took a shaky breath and did the only thing she could do.

Peyton walked firmly beside Nathan and securely wrapped her hand around his. “And so will I.”

Lucas was still trying to save her but she knew it was long since time that she stood on her own feet. She did not need saving, not any more. Nathan had seen to that. And she would not let him go down in flames alone.

He didn’t look at her and she didn’t look at him, but she felt his grip tighten around her hand. “He didn’t jump into bed with the first girl who smiled at him.” She tried to keep her voice steady but couldn’t completely keep the tremor out. “He jumped into bed with me.”

xXx

You, looked at me as you walked in the room; like the red sea, you split me open

All you did was save my life
Pulled me out of that flat line
Put the heartbeat back inside

All you did was get me through, I owe every breathe to you
Heart and soul unparalyzed,

All you did was save my life

AN: It's good this chapter ends on a good (ish) note because it'll likely be the last update for a while. I'm absolutely drowning in work xP. Believe me, I'd way rather be writing. Thanks for all your input and support.