Disclaimer: I don’t own Evangelion or the song “Somebody More Like You” by Nickel Creek. Please don’t sue me; I’ve got nothing of value.

The clouds gathered above, dark and angry. The threat of a storm hung in the air, the scent of moisture was almost oppressive. Ikari Shinji made his way down the streets of New Tokyo-3. His thoughts were deeply troubled as he stalked the streets of the bustling metropolis. His movements were like a man walking in his sleep. His thoughts turned inwards.

It had been 6 months since he had told Asuka how he felt. It had been the hardest thing he’d ever done. The fear he felt when confronting an Angel was nothing compared the abject terror that had wrapped itself around his gut like a cold, steel vice as he confessed his feelings to Asuka. He'd clenched his eyes shut to hide from the situation any rejection. He poured his heart into the confession. He bared his soul. He gave himself over completely.

She waited for a moment, caught of guard by the Third Child’s sudden profession.

She looked into his eyes as he forced himself to look into hers.

She cried.

She held him

She said “I love you.”

His heart felt as though it would burst. He had gained the acceptance, the love, of the person he wanted it from most. It was the happiest he’d ever been. He knew he should have seen what lay ahead, but pushed the unpleasant thoughts away as he brought the fiery red head into an embrace that he wished would last forever. Fate it seems was dead set on destroying the young boy.

I didn't hear you say you're sorry
The fault must be mine

I wish you all the best of luck
At finding somebody more like you

They’d been in a fight. Not surprising really. In fact it seemed inevitable but the things she’d said had still hurt him. Her words cut him deeper than any knife. The girl’s tirade still echoed in the boy’s thoughts, haunting his every step.

“I can’t believe I could ever love someone like you!”

“You thought I loved a spineless wimp like you!? I need a strong man, someone stronger than you!”

“You’re pathetic!”

“I hate you!”

“I don’t need you!”

The thought of the jabs jarred his heart still. Felt like someone had slipped a knife between his ribs. He felt like he was dead. And perhaps he was, inside. He thought back to the beginning of the relationship. She’d said she needed him, like he needed her.

You said you'd love me always, truly
I must have changed
Cause you don't need me like you used to
I hope you find somebody more like you

The quarrel had been over nothing. A mistake, an apology, a stinging retort, a hurt look, a pained lashing out, a look of hate, an end to a fragile happiness. Shinji clenched his hands so hard they hurt. The fingernails dug into the palms hard enough to draw blood. He didn’t care. Anything to keep the memories away. He’d walked away rather than face her. The object of his desire, the source of his greatest pain. The thought over never being able to hold her again washed over him with a pain that piloting Eva could never hope to rival.

I hope you finally find someone
Someone that you trust
And give him everything
I hope you meet someone your height
So you can see eye-to-eye
With someone as small as you

He didn’t hate Asuka. He couldn’t. He only ever wanted her to be happy. She wasn’t with him. She always wanted to make him stronger. More deserving of her affections. He didn’t mind. As long as she was with him he was fine, he could endure any hardship for her. He remembered back to the first time he saw her. He was awed by her beauty, terrified by her personality, enraptured in her presence. He had loved her there and then, even if he hadn’t realized it till much later. When had that been? That twin Angel? The volcano?

He shook his head and realized it didn’t matter. He was hers, body and soul. He wanted nothing but her love. He hated being alone and she had driven that loneliness away, if only for a time. He was happy with her.

You came out of nowhere, made me smile
Then tore me in two
Saying, "We're very different people"
So dear, I hope you find somebody more like you

He sat on a bench as thunder rumbled in the heavens and pedestrians scurried to escape the coming rains. He didn’t notice the movements or sounds. He was alone. Isolated from others again. Withdrawn to hide from the pain of being close. The Hedgehog’s Dilemma. After finally finding a happiness that he thought would last, he was broken again. He began to cry. The rain came down. Thunder drowned out his sobs and rain hid his tears. Still now he didn’t hate Asuka. He didn’t bear her ill will. He wanted her to be happy, and it was obvious that wasn’t with him.

No, he didn’t hate Asuka.

Ikari Shinji hated himself.

I hope you find somebody more like you