Author’s Note: Sorry this took so long, I was trying to find the right scene/episode to base this next chapter on

Author’s Note: Sorry this took so long, I was trying to find the right scene/episode to base this next chapter on. I hope this was worth the wait. Review please. Thank you so much for those who did. It means a lot.

I stared outside the window in the conference room down at the station as Margo sat on the table behind me. She took me into the room after I told her that Carly kicked me out, something I never thought-well, not never, but certainly not this soon-thought she would do.

It hurt. A lot more than I thought it would. For the first time in my life, I didn’t understand myself…my feelings for her. I didn’t think I wanted to live with her for much longer anyway. I don’t think I even wanted to move in in the first place.

Everything used to be clear when it came to Carly. I always understood how I felt towards her in the past. It was undying love, what I felt for her.

But before now, I wasn’t sure. She’d hurt me so badly last time around, and I don’t think I could ever forgive her. I thought we would both be better off alone. At least me anyway.

But as I stare unseeingly out the window, I now realize how much of a fool I am for ever thinking that. Go on with my life? No. Not without her. It was impossible.

There’s a deep, empty space somewhere inside me, and just last night it was full, despite the dinner party from Hell. Now I know how Carly’s felt for the last few months.

That night when Carly came home close to ten o’clock, I was furious. She’d made the kids and I worried sick. We didn’t know if something awful had happened to her. I thought she just left the house to be alone for a while, but not for eight hours. She came home with mascara smudged across her face, her eyes bloodshot, and it was then when I realized what I had done to her.

I tried to explain, to apologize, to try and ease the pain from her, but she wouldn’t hear it. She’d just gone right up to the kids’ rooms, said goodnight, and went to bed in her own room.

Now I understand that emptiness, dullness she’s been feeling. Because now, I feel it too.

I love her. I always have. Throughout the lies…the schemes…the pain….it never stopped. I never stopped. And I can’t live my life without her. And now, I don’t know what to do.

What she said to me weeks ago suddenly floods back into my mind. After asking about why I didn’t remember her when I came back to Oakdale with Julia and JJ…it broke my heart. I tried to explain. But how can you explain why you didn’t remember the love of your life?

“Amnesia? No, Jack. Because if it had been me? Memory or no memory I would have taken one look at you… and I would have known that we belong together. It’s fate. You know it…and I know it. No matter where we are…or who we’re with, it’s always just a matter of time before we’re together again, Jack. We have history. It’s who we are. And you can’t deny that Jack, no matter how hard you try.”

And she was right.

“So Jack…what are you gonna do now?” Margo’s voice snaps me out of my reverie.

I take a deep breath and turn around to face my boss. “I guess I’ll go back to the farm…kids are comfortable there….” I trail off.

“Yeah, but…it’s not permanent. You have to start a new life.”

A new life…. God.

“…For the first time in a long, long time…I’ve gotta build a life that’s not all about Carly.” I trail off again. I let my eyes drift to the floor, and I feel tears well up inside them.

“How do I do that?” My voice is weak, almost a whisper. Margo’s eyes are full with sympathy and she tilts her head to the side. After a long, lingering moment, she walks over to me and envelops me in her arms.

I wrap my arms around her and burry my face into her shoulder as tears began to fall from my eyes and down my cheeks, unchecked. I feel her hand rubbing against my back, just like she did when Carly left Oakdale with Simon.

“I don’t know, Jack….but you’ll be okay. It’s gonna be alright.”

A/N: This one was particularly hard to write, because as all of you ATWT fans know, Jack is so difficult to read. Reading characters’ minds and thoughts have become a second nature to me, but it’s pretty hard to read Jack these days. But I hope it was in-character enough to enjoy. Please review.