One Treasured Memory

Since there is so much fan fiction running about the net at the mo, lots of it about V and Butch, I figured I'd have a go writing my own.

Okay so this takes place during book 4. Lover Revealed just about when Butch is ready to leave the compound and The Brotherhood forever.

Oh and as most of you will know or should know, I did not create the characters you will read about here. The wonderful genius J. R. Ward did and I salute her as the best writer ever published.

WARNING: Rated for over 18's only.

Butch was just about to push open the door and set foot out into the "real" world when a voice behind him made him freeze.

"Where you going, cop?"

Damn! It was Vishous, still in his leathers. Butch closed his eyes and cursed under his breath. He was really hoping to make a clean get-away. Leaning his head against the door he prayed to find the words to say to his best friend. A long silence stretched between them .

"Yo cop. You okay?"

V was worried. Never had they found it hard to talk to each other. They shared everything.

"V…. I'm leaving." Butch said finally refusing to look at the vampire. He just couldn't stand it; already a feeling of guilt and coward-ness filled his lower gut.

V's eyes narrowed and he took a long drag on the hand rolled before speaking again.

"Mind telling me why?"

Butch was infuriated at the calm tone. Didn't V get how he was feeling? Didn't he understand that this was really hard for him? He didn't really want to leave but, he had NO other choice.

Clenching his fists, he straightened up from the door and slowly turned to face the vampire.

"I don't belong here V. I have nothing here. I live on the edges of your world and I sure as hell can't go back to being what I was. I don't have a job, I want a woman I can't have and I sure as hell can't protect or give her what she wants like this. So I'm leaving, to find somewhere I can be useful. Somewhere I can be who I am and it don't matter that I'm not…." Here butch trailed off, his brain a little scrambled. His face was red from hardly drawing breath. He hung his head breathing hard. His eyes burned and he was damned if he opened the flood gates. How manly would that be?

"Butch my man…."

V said softly and stepped forward, gently laying a hand on Butch's shoulder. He wasn't sure why Butch was talking like this or why it was happening now but this might be V's only chance to comfort him in the way he'd so often dreamt.

He knew that there was no way out for Butch. He's told him that from the start. Once he'd crossed that line, there was no way back.

Besides the thought of Butch leaving, it was just too painful for him to even think about.

Butch was shaking and V got the impression that he was fighting back tears.

He wasn't sure he understood how the situation had gotten so out of hand and why Butch was taking this so hard but, that wasn't what mattered now…

"Butch?" V pulled gently on the shoulder he was grasping and pulled his friend around the face him.

Deep brown eyes met his own diamonds and V hitched in a breath. Butch was indeed feeling wretched, V could feel it in his very blood, like dirty oil creeping in and settling, and the picture that came to V's mind was one of a rope noose and a falling dead tree.

Butch's voice broke the spell and it was a desperate appeal that came out of the mans mouth.

"V…man. I want to belong somewhere."

V's heart gave a might thump at this plea. His chest hurt and he could hardly breathe hearing, feeling his brother's pain. It was like a great wall had landed between them and Vishous knew the only way he was going to get through to Butch was to use as much force as possible.

Roughly he grabbed Butch's face and pulled it closer to his.

"You do belong. You belong here…..With me!" He roared showing his fangs in fury. Butch's eyes widened in shock at this sudden aggression, but as suddenly as it had come it melted from V's face.

Vishous started at his own reaction but then shook his head and focused on Butch. Putting some space between their faces but still not letting go V ran his thumbs over the other mans' cheeks. He'd meant to be firm not scare the poor bastard out of his skin.

But to V it was like his skin was peeling away. The more Butch talked about leaving…. Well another layer came ripping off.

Clearing his throat he tried to reason with his roommate

"You do belong here okay. Yeah you maybe only a human but you're meant to be here, true."

"But V…. how can I be? I'm not a Brother and never will be I'm just the spare wheel that sits at home."

Butch dragged V's hands away from his face and walked away into the living room. He was so frazzled. He couldn't be what Marissa needed and he'd hurt her and well… things just couldn't seem to get any better. He's lost his job so obviously he was no good at that. His family hated him and now he was living between worlds, neither that wanted him nor could/would accept him as he was.

No matter how much he thought about it the worst it seemed to get until it was all piling up in his head. It was plugging every nook and cranny and he wanted to scream it hurt so badly.

V watched as Butch paced between the Foose Ball Table and the couch.

He looked like a caged animal. One about to go psycho because it couldn't escape and it had just had one too many kicks.

He had to do something! But what… Images of him grabbing Butch and laying him back against the table flashed into his mind. Him getting up on top of him and kissing him deeply then swooped in. Clothes would be flying and then there would be naked flesh and hands, tongues moving.

Shaking him self violently, V strode to stand next to Butch when he came to rest next to the couch. Butch was raging inside. His failed life seemed to have no end and each event was happily running constantly through his mind adding to his misery.

V was also fuming. Partly on Butch's behalf at the shitty road he'd already had to travel but mostly because he really wanted this male…man and he knew that that could never happen.

Neither male spoke as they regarded each other.

Without warning Butch cocked back his fist and hit V right in the face.

Vishous gave a grunt of pain but didn't strike back. Butch looked right in V's face and gave him another teeth rattler. V began to laugh and then Butch rained down on him a series of blows each one punctuated by a scream of frustration and the words

"You. Should. Just. Have. Killed. Me!"

When Butch finally backed down he was gasping and he was reluctant to look at the mess he'd no doubt made of his friends mug. When he did look up, V grinned knowingly to his friend.

"Feel better now?"

"Not really." Butch spat out, seething at V's perfect unmarred face.

"Want to do it again?"

"Yeah!"

With this admittance they both fell on each other, punching and scratching until they both ended up on the floor wrestling around knocking all manner of things over.

Anger, desire (on V's side) and self loathing had reached boiling point and the pair seemed quite happy to take it out on each others skin.

Ahhh what is friendship for eh?

Many many minutes later they both lay on the floor, on there backs, side by side panting for breath.

"Out your system yet, cop?" V asked rolling over and spitting out some blood. He had a busted lip and his knuckles were bleeding happily. Various small bruises and cuts adorned the sides of his face, but V wouldn't have traded those moments for a life time of Grey Goose.

Butch grunted in admission and sat up carefully. His knuckles were also bleeding and one of his eyes brows was leaking. Annoyed he wiped his knuckles on the carpet and then swiped his hand across his face.

Eyeing V, he took in what he'd just made V do. Or rather what he'd just done to V. It wasn't V's fault his life was a mess and he sure as hell didn't need to be the punching bag. Christ he was just like Zsadist before he was mated.

Shamefully he eyed the carpet. Hey did they know there was a stain the size of Gibraltar under the table?

"No, you're not like Z, and yeah that was me."

V was suddenly sitting beside him and his iridescent irises were boring into Butch.

"You're nothing like Z, true. That Brother was fucked up. So fucking fucked up in fact that it was more than just releasing the anger out. Z wanted the pain. He seemed to thrive on it."

"Oh Jesus I didn't know it went down like that. Christ "

Butch scrubbed his good hand through his hair. V watched almost mesmerised as the man's muscles flexed and relaxed when his arm moved.

Butch didn't seem to notice as he turned his attention to V.

"I'm sorry, okay I shouldn't have taken my misery out on you."

V shrugged. No big deal. V stared at his gloved hand. He was unconsciously flexing it.

"But thanks….. It was good you know…good to let it all out. Good to feel that I was needed to be where I was needed… Ah shit V I'm al messed up."

Butch chuckled at his own confessions. Then got up off the floor and nodded to his bedroom. "I'm just gonna go take my pansy ass to bed for a while."

As he walked off. V couldn't help but stare after him, he was totally shocked. That dumb ass still didn't get it.

Unable to help him self he got up and raced after his best friend.

Butch was just shutting his closet, when a massive force spun him into the wall and got right up in his face.

Jesus ….it was Vishous and Christ did he look one hell of a scary bastard. His fangs were down and his eyes were menacing.

"You dumb fuck!" He yelled "You don't get it do you?"

Butch was stunned and frightened for the second time in as many minutes as it takes to cook soup.

"Get what, V? Shit" He struggled against the males hold but V held him firmly against the wall.

Abruptly V leaned into him and sagged against Butch, his head on his shoulder. A slight sobbing noise preceded a muffled…

"I've tried to hide it for so long. But it's been eating at me everyday. And then you talk about leaving and that really burns you know."

V jerked his head back up to look into the eyes of the man he knows so well.

Butch stared into V's eyes at the sadness there, and something else that he'd dare not name and strangely nor question.

They've been close since the beginning. Did they not share a room together on the first night they met? And how many times have they picked each other up after a round too many at ZeroSum? Was it not V's own blood that he'd forced Butch to drink all those months ago that saved his very life?

V had broken a sacred law by giving his best friend some of him self from the fear of a vision about Butch dying.

Did this not go beyond and above the norm of friendship?

Butch considered all of this as V wiped his tear streaked eyes and whispered.

"I can't handle you leaving Butch."

Butch opened his mouth but V cuts across him

"I can't handle you leaving…me"

Butch's eyes widen at this declaration. Is V saying what he thinks he thinks he's saying?

V reaches up and cups Butch's cheek in his gloved hand. Butch could feel the warm pulsing energy through the soft leather.

"You've always been wanted Butch. You just never knew it" Vishous's voice is soft it's almost that of a Shellan talking to her Hellren and it sends a shiver down Butch's spine.

Butch gulps as Vishous moves closer and presses his whole body into his. Unconsciously his hands release the wall he's been clinging to and grip on to V's arms.

V purrs softly at the contact and really slowly he leans in and touches Butch's lips with his own.

There's a sizzling crack of electricity around the pair and it seems to go right through them.

Butch's entire body jerked and heat seemed to pour into his every nerve. V felt his hair stand on end, although it really didn't, and he instantly got that ache.

As V's lips moved over his more firmly and erotically, offering more but then holding back, all Butch's' rational thoughts left him in a rush of desire.

No feelings of wrongness or unnaturalness, just pure lust and acceptance flood his entire system, right down to every nerve, cell and of course into his blood.

Butch gasped and gripped the vampires arms hard as V tightened his hold and brought their hips flush together. Moaning slightly at the friction he let his tongue sneak out and take a quick lick at V's fangs.

V couldn't believe it. Here he was making out with Butch. In the hall no less! And the way Butch was tentatively licking him just now was driving him crazy.

He was really trying to reign in some control but it was really hard. Butch seemed to want more but V knew this was a whole new ball game for him.

V thought back to his own experiences…. He'd done a whole mess of females, so many he could begin to count. He'd done males too but those hadn't been so much different. He's Dom-ed them all and that was the way it was with him.

But with Butch, he didn't feel his dominating side rise to take control. Oh yeah sure he wanted to rip off the clothes that bound them and feel Butch's naked body pressed to his own, but at the moment he was just enjoying the sensations that it was Butch he had pressed against the wall and not someone he was going to forget about the second he walked out of the door.

Whoa! V was suddenly slammed back into the moment. Butch's hands were on the move and so were his hips.

Vishous hissed as his groin was rubbed provocatively by Butch's and just like that he went from semi-erect to all the way.

"Oh God, Butch!" he couldn't help blurting as they parted and both gasped for air.

His head fell back and then suddenly felt a stinging pain at his throat.

Butch had launched him self at the exposed flesh and was trying to bite. His arms were all the way around V now and were crushing him against his body.

"Fuck!" V roared as he braced a hand on the wall behind Butch's head. With his other hand he pulled Butch's legs up to lock around his waist.

Groin to groin they began to rock against each other , V digging his nails into the wall and Butch frantically sucking on his neck trying to get at his blood.

Suddenly aware that someone could walk in on the two of them, V slid the lock into place with his mind and stumbled away from wall taking Butch with him.

Collapsing on top of the bed, V ground his hips right into Butch's and Butch cried out and his head fell back, away from V's throat.

"That feel good, cop?" V asked his voice husky and filled with lust.

"Yeah fucking good." Butch groaned back his head kicking back into the pillows.

V smiled down at him for a moment. Then lent down to kiss him again, there had way been not enough of that!

V's tongue shot into Butch's mouth and licked him furiously. He cradled the man' head in his hands and straddled his waist getting good and comfortable.

Butch was amazed. He felt fire in his chest and way way down in his rock hard cock, a cock that had only ever gotten hard for women in the past. He didn't understand what had happened in those few minutes when V had first tackled him. But what V was making him feel right now was better than he'd felt in a long time. Hell maybe his whole life.

V was moaning now as he gently nipped Butches bottom lip before moving to his jaw and down his neck. Butch revelled in his growling and grunts. Hell he hadn't been able to make Marissa feel good, just another failure to add to the pile, but the way V was moaning he sure as hell didn't seem to have any complaints.

In fact he was determined to make V feel as good as he was making him feel.

With a grunt he rolled V over on to his back and pinned his arms up over his head. V's eyes widened as Butch kissed his collarbone and licked his neck. Then his hands were on his shirt buttons, undoing each one slowly with a sinful smirk on his face.

V gulped loudly and panted hard as Butch smoothed his fingers over his muscled chest and down his six-pack. His head fell back and he laughed softly as Butch found a ticklish spot.

God…V's body was amazing. His skin was flawless and a beautiful colour. His muscles were taut and hard. It felt incredible under his fingertips. Butch wondered if it would taste as good.

Quivering slightly, partly from nerves but mostly from excitement, Butch leaned down and kissed V languidly. V made a fantastic purring in his throat and ran a hand through the cop's hair to hold onto the back of his head.

This seemed to be the shot of courage Butch needed and he broke the kiss off so he could kiss a path down his neck over his shoulder and then across to the top of his pec.

V wriggled underneath as Butch's lips got closer to his nipple. He desperately wanted to get his hands on the cop, but he was afraid that if he moved the reality would shatter like so many of his dreams before, and he would be heartbroken all over again.

"V... V... You okay man?" Butch had lifted his head and was peering down at him.

V cleared his head of lonely thoughts and ran his hands up the cop's arms soothingly.

"Sorry just zoned out there for a minute."

"Oh right" Butch's face fell and he rubbed his mouth with is fingertips. "Am I….." He faltered a little and V struggled upright until they were nose to nose. He looked expectantly at the cop and Butch drew in a huge breath before blurting out.

"Am I not doing it right or something?" He turned his head sharply away so he wouldn't have to meet V's gaze. Good thing too. V looked like he'd been slapped across the face. His eyes were as wide as wide and his mouth slightly parted.

Did Butch not feel his hunger, his passion just dangling right there on the edge of his being. Did he not feel the rigid length in his pants almost burning a hole in his leathers?

He cursed him self in his head all the worst names he could think of. Here he'd had the most perfect moment he'd ever dreamed, wished for and he'd ruined it but thinking too deeply.

Butch took the silence to mean "Yes" and he began to climb off V. Horrified that the moment was over to quickly V grabbed Butch's wrists and pulled him sharply down. The kiss he delivered was hot and fiery and totally said "I want you now!"

"I'll show you what I want." V growled erotically and he ripped the cop's shirt right off his chest and attacked the exposed flesh with lips, tongue and fangs.

Gasping, panting, writing on the bed with pleasure, Butch gripped the bed sheets in both hands and squeezed his eyes shut. His cock was burning to extreme measures and only Vishous held the remedy.

V laughed sinfully, he knew exactly what the cop felt and he was damn talented enough to make him wait as long as he could draw him out.

He rolled Butch to the side and then on to his back. His glorious chest was heaving and a fine shimmering shine of sweat was a teasing sight.

V shifted his weight so he was lying on top but to the side of the cop, and he pressed his thigh right in-between Butch's leg. The cop's head flew back and he immediately clung to V's waist and started humping his leg.

V laughed softly and watched happily as Butch found a good rhythm.

Just as he was getting into it, V pulled his leg away and straddled the cop's groin again. Butch whimpered at the loss and tried to shift so he could rub against V's erection instead.

Slowly drawing one of his hands down the cop's leg he unhurriedly pulled one of Butch's black daggers from its hiding place. Butch shivered and shuddered with the contact and then gulped as he saw what V had in his hand.

Vishous brought the blade up and stroked the length down Butch's chest. Butch watched spellbound as the black tip ran a circle around his nipple, then trailed down to his belly button. His body convulsed with the splendid stroking sensation and he thrust his hips upwards groaning.

He risked a quick glance up at V, he was grinning and he waggled his eye brows at Butch just as he slid the blade under the cops leather pants and boxers and with a quick flick split them right down the middle.

Butch's impressive shaft sprang out and V grabbed hold of it and gave it a mighty pull. Butch yelled out loudly as his pleasure reached its pinnacle, he released him self all over V's hand and he gripped the vampire's knees either side of his seizing hips.

When the volts in his body quietened to a low hum, he let out the breath he'd been holding in and gasped for air.

"Jesus V." he mumbled eventually. V was smiling down at him, a really big I'm-happy-cos-I've-given-the-man-of-my-dremas-the-best-orgasm-ever grin.

"Good?" V asked quietly stroking the man's cheek, with an almost feminine quality.

"You have no idea" Butch answered breathing hard. He shuffled against the pillows, getting comfortable.

"Then show me." V suggested wickedly right in Butch's ear, as he lightly took the man's hand and placed it right on the pounding iron in between his legs.

The cop's eyes widened as he held the sheer power of V right there in the palm of his hand. Hell he'd known the guy was one big motherfucker but to be holding it was a different ball game all together.

V's eyes flickered close as Butch ran one hand smoothly up and down in an ever increasing rhythm. With the other hand he tugged at the button and the zipper and soon V's leathers and all remaining clothes or scraps of clothes were tossed away from the bed.

Hand now on his uncovered length Butch pumped hard and in an abrupt moment V hollered to the sky and came. His flow shooting out of him while his whole body spasmed.

V gripped on to the cop's backside as the orgasm rolled through him. Suddenly he sagged against the man and panted for breath.

"Fuck me" V exclaimed when he'd drifted back into his body.

"I thought I jus did" Butch sarcastically commented.

V snorted and lifted Butch's head off the mattress by his hair so he could kiss him fiercely.

"Oh you're crazy if you think this is over yet."

With that he reared up over Butch and bit him right over the pulsing vein in his neck that had been tormenting him.

The cop groaned and cradled Vishous against his body. Feeling all his muscles grip him and release as he feasted on his blood.

All too soon V was raising his head and was licking his fangs clean. The sight gave Butch an instant hard on and V glanced down giving a pleasing look before he travelled down Butch's body and took the swollen cock into his mouth.

Butch twisted on the bed at the intensity of the pleasure. He arched his back and tried desperately to force more of himself into V's warm mouth.

V chuckled as Butch strained and groaned "More, more", he certainly would give more. The feelings of power he had were amazing. Not unlike the power of being a Dominator but in a much less angry and hurtful way.

V's own dick was humming in response to Butch's groans and moans, but he ignored it wanting to give his roomie his full attention.

Butch was in heaven, the slick feel of V's tongue and lips was torturous heaven , the vampire was sucking and licking and blowing him a good one and Butch wasn't sure how much more he could take. He felt V smile around his cock and then he cried out as V fisted his balls and rubbed them in his hand.

"You'll take as much as I give you human"

"Wha…?" Butch tried to speak but he was grinding his teeth together as fire built in his belly and then shot into the organ still being punished by V's mouth.

"HOLY FUCK!" Butch roared and nearly flew off the bed as the most intense climax he'd ever experienced shot out of him. He was certain his cock had split right down the centre as V helped him ride it out.

Even then when he was done V gave him no rest, exploring every inch of his body with his tongue and fingertips. He shattered the man apart many times and then Butch, the fast learner that he was, gave V's body a full servicing and then some…..

Many hours later, naked and covered in sweat and other juices, the pair of them lay on the bed completely exhausted and very very satiated. Butch held on to V's body and stroked his back while V still trembled, after his last monstrous orgasm.

Eventually the tremors subsided and he was able to look up at his best friend. His eyes were glazed and his smile was resplendent.

"Wow" said V feeling stupid but unable to form more intellectual word right then.

Butch laughed heartily and V joined in.

"What's so funny, buddy?" He finally asked

"I just had sex with my best friend and roommate." Butch blurted without thinking.

Vishous' eye brows narrowed. "Why is that funny?" he asked a little peeved.

Butch caught a look at his expression and immediately stopped chuckling.

"I just never expected it to be so…..Amazing." He coughed embarrassed.

V just smiled and rearranged his wasted body on the bed so he was comfortable.

"Yeah it was." He agreed quietly, mostly to him self. A remarkable calm was settling over him as he lay there on his side with the object of his most desired fantasies next to him.

Butch rolled over and leant over the side of the bed to cover himself and V with the sheet they'd long kicked to the floor. Settling back on his side, his back to V he peered over his shoulder at the vampire.

He'd taken out a hand-rolled and was lighting up. He looked so at peace with the world and so content that Butch smiled to him self. He was glad V was okay with what had happened.

Butch on the other hand was drifting, he felt like he was floating away from him self. Not a few hours ago he was making love to the woman who held his life in her heart, a woman whom he desperately wanted to be with, grow old with and be what he needed to be for her.

Now he was confused, he knew in his heart he wasn't gay, but being with V didn't seem like that. It had almost felt like he'd been with a part of himself, but with V there just enjoying the pleasure he found with him self.

Urgh! That didn't make sense and Butch's head was hurting trying to figure it all out. What he should do is have a good kip and then he'd figure it all out later .

"You okay there cop?" V asked

"Yeah I'm good, thanks man. "

Butch felt the mattress dip as V settled him self for sleep, and he was over come with the strangest urge.

"V?"

"Yeah?"

"Will you…Would you…err…. Never mind"

Hold me, hug me or touch me? Cos I don't feel a part of my self anymore, I feel lost and I don't want to go there alone.

V started at the spluttered thoughts Butch was projecting and he scooting over in the bed and wrapped his strong arms around the big man. Butch relaxed instantly and cuddled into the embrace.

V enjoyed the contact until he was sure that Butch was fast asleep. Slipping from the bed quietly, he gathered the remnants of their clothes and threw them away. Then he quickly stripped back the covers and wiped Butch's body clean.

Finishing he tuck Butch back in bed and stroked the hair off his face. Hunching down on his knees he watched Butch's face as he slept. The busted nose, the scuffed hair and the beautiful curve of his jaw. V's lip trembled….

Honourably he bowed his head and whispered as a single tear rolled down his face….

"You've given me the greatest treasure of my life. I thank you for that, but now it is time for you to forget those precious moments and return to the life you were destined for. I will hold this memory in my heart until I go unto The Fade and…" Here V stopped he couldn't carry on, what did it matter anyway Butch couldn't hear him and it was just a ramble of word anyway, but this was the way it HAD to be.

There was no way they could go back to being just friends after what they had shared, and what chance did they have together? The brotherhood would be compromised and Marissa… Jesus… Marissa she cared for Butch like no other, it would destroy the female.

V wiped his tears away and stood up shakily.

No it was best to swallow this memory as if it never happened. V would be only one to know and it would kill him for the rest of his life not knowing what could have been… but he loved the cop too much to screw up the destiny he knew without a doubt was waiting for him.

Taking a few steadying breathes V pressed one last linger kiss to the side of Butch's neck before he covered the man's head with his hand, closed his eyes and searched for the memories to destroy. Forever….