I'm working hard on Kai's one shot- then I will post it and epilogue to this on the same do. Should be soon I hope. Epilogue is done- I just want to post Kai's chapter first :)

Hope this was worth the wait. We're almost done guys!

I wish I could remember what happened next, the tedious everyday things I had come to not appreciate. I had taken those things as a given, and in the end they were anything but that.

Spring had flown by way to fast in my opinion, and I had been worried on the day before summer arrived when the tan man had appeared in front of Jack’s house to greet Claire on his first day back. She had claimed I had nothing to worry about, that Kai couldn’t damage our relationship.

But Goddess he’d done nothing to help it in the end had he?

It hadn’t been Claire I had been worried about when it came to Kai. Not in the sense that she would fall for the man, who was to me more suited for a girl like Claire, with the exception of his constant flirting with the Poultry Farm heiress. No what worried me was Kai and how I felt he had fallen for her.

“That’s completely silly, Gray. Kai is my friend, nothing more, on either side.”

I wonder if she was here now if she would say the same thing.

I don’t really remember much leading up to when Claire left. I had thought Claire and I were fine, stable, and secure in what was our relationship. But somehow I had managed to make the woman think that she wasn’t what I wanted.

But it really wasn’t until after she was gone that I knew she had been all I wanted.

I found it ironic that the fight that ended my relationship had been what sealed and finalized Mary and Jack’s. After all it was less than a season after Claire disappeared that they were married.

But that fight…

Even now I had no idea what it was about. I had no idea what had went on before Claire and I had walked to the library. All I could remember was Jack storming down the path, almost bumping me as he muttered under his breath. I hadn’t though anything of it, and Claire had continued to talk to me about what it had been that Kai and she had done this morning. But when we walked into the library…

The first thing that pulled me attention away from Claire’s story was a stifled sniffle, and I had long ago learned that sound, as it was one of the things in this world that I tried damn hard to avoid. I looked through the library, seeing the young woman wiping furiously at her face. She put her glasses back on and blinked at me and my companion, before moving quickly over to us.

“Oh Gray…you were right. You were right about him the whole time.” I found the woman that was suddenly in my arms was unwilling to let go of me, and I awkwardly wrapped one arm around her shaking shoulders.

“I…uh…I’m sure this is just a misunderstanding,” I muttered lamely, rubbing in between her shoulders in hopes it would ease her tears. I looked over towards Claire, whose face was turned to the ground.

“I think…maybe I should leave,” she began, and I reached out with my free arm, tugging her more towards me. That was the last thing I wanted.

“No. Don't do that,” I murmured out, shaking my head and being so stupid as to try to plead to the blind woman with my eyes. I felt her small hand run over mine and thankfully squeezed her shoulder.

There was no way I wanted to be left alone with Mary, not with her sobbing over something I didn't care to understand at the moment.

It confused me really- as this moment was what I had been yearning for. I had been waiting a long time for Jack to screw up so I could win the woman in my arms back. But she wasn't the woman I wanted in my arms anymore.

What ever I did for Claire to make her decision- it happened that night at the bar. After we spent a good hour or two with the upset woman. I don't much remember anything about that night- other than the fact that I was drunk as hell.

I felt the hand pushing down my arm, the cup of relief moving from my lips. I scowled over at the concerned looking woman, but regardless of how badly I wanted another sip of the liquor I let the cup rest on the old ring stained counter top.

“The reason you’re in this position right now is because you can’t decide…if you want to move on or not.”

And I hesitated.

“I can decide,” I protested, my eyebrows furrowing as I tried to make sense of my thoughts. They seemed sluggish and confused, similar to how my body was acting under the influence of all the alcohol I had drank.

“Then why are you in here drinking away your problems?” she woman huffed, standing up from her stool and pushing away from the counter.

“That isn't what I'm doing,” I growled out, though I did know that it was a big part of it, whether I chose to admit it or not. I felt Claire tugging at my sleeve and I stood, be it extremely wobbly, and allowed her to place my arm around her shoulders. I couldn't help but to silently laugh at the idea of this blind woman leading me anywhere, but I allowed her to support some of my weight, and quietly told her the directions as she tried her best to lug me upstairs. I fell against the wall several times on the way to my room, and chuckled at some uncharacteristic curses that left her when I did. It seemed that it took her forever to lead me to my bed, and when I laid on it my eyelids shut heavily.

It was a change, her being my hero for once. Even if all she had done was lead me to bed.

But she had done so much more than that. She had given me reason to want to live, to want to heal…

I felt the soft pair of lips pressed against mine and tiredly opened my heavy eyes, seeing Claire’s face hovering over mine.

“Is it okay for me to be selfish this one time? To want to be with you?” she whispered softly, her lips brushing over my ear as she spoke. As she finished she gently pressed them against my neck, sucking the area softly.

“Is that what you want?” I asked gently, my hands coming to pull her into my lap, holding her snuggly around the waist as I nuzzled her cheek.

“It’s not a question of what I want. It’s a question of what you want. You…are unwilling to let her go still,” she murmured as she pushed back.

“You can be as damn selfish as you want where I’m concerned,” I muttered out, lips brushing over her neck, choosing to ignore her observation.”As long as I can be selfish too,” I added after a few moments, placing a light kiss against the sensitive flesh.

I maybe couldn’t decide what to do about this situation with Mary, but I knew without a single doubt that right now I wanted Claire, and if she would allow me too, I would have her. I rolled suddenly, pinning her to the mattress of my bed, staring down into her empty eyes.

“I wish…you could see the way I look at you Claire,” I whispered softly, hand cupping her cheek and fingers brushing over her lips. If she could see the way I looked at her, the way I felt about her, then I wouldn’t have to find the courage to say what I needed to tell her. But she couldn’t, and I still couldn’t find the courage.

“What would I see?” Claire asked as she leaned into my hand, her blue eyes shutting as she grasped my calloused hand with her tiny hand, pulling the fingertips up to her lips and pressing the softness against them.

“I don’t know…” I said softly, frowning some at the answer.

Maybe that was how I screwed up. Because in that moment I knew that the lines between reality and fantasy blurred. I had no idea what happened next. But at some point she left. And that was the last time I ever saw her.

So I had to have screwed up.

I suppose I wouldn't know for sure unless Claire came back.

All I could recall was the smell of her perfume, and the hangover I had the next morning. And a tid bit of a dream that I hope she hadn’t been around to hear the content of. And as all dreams I couldn’t recall all of it. But I did remember how it had started off.

She let her other small hand grab my sleeve, pulling me more to her. I rested on top of her, completely happy with the current position.

“I want you…” I murmured huskily, hands traveling over her clothed body, rubbing up and down her with a sudden enthusiasm. “I want to touch you, feel you…I want to hear you…I want to see you,” I murmured incoherently, my mind becoming more foggy as lust took me over. I wanted to touch her bare skin, feel her warm body under mine, hear her gasp and moan and see her cry for me.

Maybe that was why I had the urge to see her the next morning. To make sure I hadn’t embarrassed her or myself…

I winced in the morning sunlight, hearing the ferry horn in the distance signaling its departure. I suppose Kai was calling it an early summer this year…not that it mattered much to me…

But in the time it took me to get to Jack’s, and our discovery of Claire missing, and of course the time to run to the damn beach it had ended up being the thing that should have mattered most.

Because Claire had been on that ferry. And I had missed it’s departure by the damn fifteen minutes it took me to find her missing and get back.

Claire had tried to give me the opportunity to follow what she believed was in my heart.

She just didn’t know that she had been what was there.