Now Loading: Teens Next Door Mission

Operation: L.I.E.-D.E.T.E.C.T.O.R.

Loathsome
Iron
Electrical-
Device
Exposes
Truth:
Extremely
Clandestine
Thoughts
Of
Rachel

Part Eins: Confession

(Teens Next Door Global Command, Boaz Asteroid, Lagrange Point 4)

It was Fanny’s idea, to begin with. More than several operatives had objected to it, since only the most loyal and trustworthy of operatives were inducted into the Elite Teens Next Door, thus rendering it unnecessary. However, Fanny had countered with the age-old saying that one couldn’t be too careful, and with backing from the Supreme Leader Rachel herself, any opposition was pretty much a lost cause.

And so, Nigel Montgomery Uno found himself outside the testing room on the fifth floor, awaiting his lie detector session.

Beforehand he had seen the specs of the lie detector; a thumb ring linked by a heavy metal wire to a fearful-looking machine that sent jolts of electricity through the tested individual, whenever he or she lied. There were also two small bulbs affixed to the machine that displayed the results: green for truth and red for deceit.

Inwardly Nigel wondered if he could hoodwink this new machine. On the rare occasions that he had been caught, he’d successfully fooled any lie detectors he’d been placed under without a hitch. Would this model force the truth out of him this time?

At that moment the door opened as a mildly-traumatized Patton exited the room, gingerly holding his injured thumb. “Your turn,” he told Nigel grimly.

Nigel entered the room, and instantly his eyes narrowed in annoyance at the sight of the person who was to administer the test. “Numbuh 363.”

“Numbuh 1,” Harvey Mackenzie replied coolly. The former Sector W Commander had somehow been promoted to Global Tactical Officer a year ago, after Fanny had been made Rachel’s second-in-command. Why Rachel chose him was beyond Nigel, given Harvey’s germ-phobic tendencies and obnoxious attitude, although a part of his mind concluded that it (along with his exemption from decommissioning at age thirteen) was due to his high mission success rate… and being Rachel’s younger brother.

Harvey motioned to the chair. “Please, have a seat,” he invited, his voice dripping with mock-politeness. Nigel did so, all the while glaring at Harvey. Of all the people, why did it have to be Numbuh 363? Did he somehow offend Fanny or something?

With a maniacal, buck-toothed grin on his face Harvey affixed the ring onto Nigel’s thumb. “How did you get Numbuh 86 to agree to this?” Nigel asked.

“Oh, nothing much; she just owed me a favor.”

“Is that right? Must’ve been a pretty big one.”

“Her computer got infected by a virus and crashed, erasing all her files. I let her copy my back-up ones.”

“…You sent that virus, didn’t you?”

Harvey shrugged. “Eh, no harm done. Numbuh 86 was never good with computers anyway.”

“You realize that if I told her, you’d die a very painful death.”

“Doubtful,” Harvey countered, smirking. “It’s no secret that you aren’t exactly very fond of me. No one would believe you; it will only look as though you were trying to get me in trouble.”

Nigel gave a smirk of his own, nodding towards the security camera in the corner of the room’s ceiling.

“I don’t think so,” said Harvey, his smile widening. “The surveillance system is down for today. Did you honestly believe I’d be that careless?”

Nigel’s face fell. “Let’s just get this over with,” he muttered.

“Alrighty then,” the younger teen said, clearing his throat. “Have you ever been in an amorous situation with my sister?”

“What does THAT have to do with anything?”

“Just answer.”

“No.” Immediately after his answer a zap shot through Nigel’s thumb, making him recoil in surprise. In addition the red bulb lit up.

“Liar,” Harvey said. “What did you do?”

“Nothing!” Another zap.

“You’re still lying; the light’s red. Where did you do this?”

Nigel was silent. “At Gallagher Elementary?” pressed Harvey.

“No.” The light instantly turned green.

“Gallagher High?”

“No.” The light remained green.

“Hmm… so where, then? KND Lunar Headquarters? …This asteroid?”

“No and no.” Green on both questions.

Harvey decided to go out on a limb. “In Rachel’s room?”

“No.” A zap of electricity went through Nigel’s thumb as the red bulb lit up.

“In my sister’s room…unbelievable. Right in my own home, no less.” Harvey’s eyes narrowed dangerously. “What did you do? Did you deflower her?”

“No!!”

The light turned green. “Good. I would have strangled you if that had remained red.”

“Not afraid you’ll get nasty germs all over your hands?” Nigel mocked.

“That’s a risk I’m willing to take. Now, did you kiss her?”

“No.” Immediately the light turned red, signaling another shock.

“You kissed her.”

“No, I didn’t!”

The light turned green. Harvey blinked. “What the fudge? The light’s green. You’re cheating the machine!”

“No, I’m not.” Green…

“But –”

“I’m telling you, I never kissed her,” Nigel insisted.

Harvey grumbled. “Fine. Have you ever wanted to, then?”

“No.” Back to red with another shock.

“I get it now… something happened in her room. Not a kiss, but something that made you want to kiss her.” He looked directly at Nigel. “What did you do?”

“Nothing.” The light remained red, and yet another jolt of electricity soon followed.

Nigel’s thoughts wandered back to that time seven years ago, during that botched tag-game after Rachel decided to (temporarily) quit as KND Supreme Leader. As he and Rachel broke into Father’s inner sanctum, she had eaten through an entire wall of broccoli, and as a result fell violently ill. Nigel had stayed by her bedside while she recovered, and during that time his feelings for her had begun to develop. Yeah, he’d wanted to kiss her, after seeing that peaceful, slumbering face… he had leaned in closer and closer, until sadly Rachel started to wake up, forcing him to pull back and spoiling his chance.

“You’re not going to tell me, are you?” Harvey spoke, interrupting his thoughts.

“No.” The light switched back to green.

“Hmm, guess I’ll just have to ask her about that.”

“Are we done yet?” the bald Brit demanded.

“Not by a long shot,” the younger Mackenzie grinned. “In fact, we’ve only just begun.”

Nigel snorted. “Figures.”

“What is your opinion of me?”

“I think you’re an obsessive clean-bug and a pompous, arrogant chipmunk.” Still green…

“Tsk, tsk…” Harvey clicked his tongue. “You’re not gonna get my approval that way, you know.”

“I don’t need your approval.”

“You will if you want to go around kissing my sister.”

“I don’t want to kiss her.” Back to red; he was now beginning to develop immunity to the shocks.

Unfortunately, Harvey also sensed that the shocks were losing their desired effect. “Let’s turn the heat up, shall we?” he suggested, smiling and turning a knob on the machine before resuming his questioning.

“You have a girlfriend by the name of Elizabeth Devine, do you not?”

“Not anymore.”

Green. Harvey raised an eyebrow. “Oh? What happened?”

“We broke up when were fourteen.”

“Why?”

Nigel glared at him. “I don’t see how that is any of your business.”

“As Global Tactical Officer, any business of my… fellow operatives automatically becomes mine as well. Now answer the question.”

“She was too overbearing and possessive, and kept disrupting our missions –”

“Ah. How unfortunate.”

“– And my first priority was to the Kids/Teens Next Door,” Nigel finished. It had been three years, and it still slightly hurt to bring up memories of Lizzie. Last he heard from her, she was going out with Herbie, who admittedly was a much better choice for her.

Still green… “Mm-hmm. Anything else?”

“No.”

Back to red. The zap that struck him was considerably stronger and nearly knocked him off his seat in shock.

“The lie detector says otherwise.”

Nigel hesitated. He remembered all too well what the other reason was. Ever since the I.T. incident, he didn’t feel as strongly towards Lizzie as before. Whenever he thought Lizzie wasn’t looking, he’d steal glances at Rachel, taking in her blonde hair, her steel-gray eyes, her patrician features… During that school dance last year, Rachel had been clad in the most stunning red dress, and upon seeing her Nigel had the wild urge to pin her to the wall and snog her senseless. Not to mention the rising jealousy within him when another guy (who, fortunately, turned out to be just her cousin) had kissed her hand and danced with her.

“Well?” Harvey demanded.

“Ask me all the questions you want; you’re not going to get anything much out of me.”

“I’ll be the judge of that. Anyways, after you broke up with Miss Devine, what happened next?”

“Nothing.” The electrical jolt made him shudder again.

“You keep saying nothing, but there’s always something, isn’t there?”

“Like that boil on your nose?”

Instinctively Harvey’s hand flew to his nose, while the light turned red; the zap that followed felt like a red-hot knife stabbing through Nigel’s thumb.

“You really should stop lying, Numbuh 1,” stated Harvey.

“And you should stop being so vain,” retorted Nigel.

“Back to business, shall we? What did you do next?”

“I went to the park, to think. On the way I met Rachel.”

The light turned green. “Oh? What was she doing there?”

“Her boyfriend had ditched her. She was crying.” He remembered seeing the break-up that day, and the sight of Rachel sobbing on the bench afterwards broke his heart. At that time he wanted nothing more than to march after that cad and beat him to a pulp.

Green… “And then?”

“We – we comforted each other,” Nigel replied. “She told me that Lizzie wasn’t worth it, and that there were plenty of pebbles on the beach, and I told her that a bastard like Gregory didn’t deserve her.”

Still green… “Mm-hmm. And then what happened?”

“Nothing.” The red light prompted another electrical surge which, for a moment, made Nigel wish his thumb would just fall off.

“What happened?” Harvey repeated.

“Our –” Nigel struggled. “Our hands… touched.” The light turned green; suddenly the words came rushing out of his mouth on their own accord. “I don’t know what came over me; the next moment she and I were holding hands, and our faces leaning towards each other… then, at the last moment, I –”

“You what?”

“I pulled back. I apologized, got up and left. I – I then tried avoiding her for the next few days.”

The light remained green. Harvey’s eyes went flat. “Why?”

“I felt like I was taking advantage of her. Numbuh 362’s my boss; it’s not ethical to –”

“Fuck ethics!!” Harvey exploded, shocking Nigel with his language and abruptness. “Get your priorities straight! Ranks change, careers and terms as Leader end, but pain doesn’t.”

“Huh?”

“You hurt both yourself and her with your actions that day.” There were still traces of anger in Harvey’s eyes. “Don’t think I haven’t noticed; the looks you keep sending each other.”

“I haven’t been looking at her.”

He’d forgotten that the lie detector ring was still on him, and was swiftly reminded of that fact when it delivered a powerful surge that drew a slight whimper from Nigel.

“You can’t avoid her forever, you know,” said Harvey.

“…I realize that.”

“Then why? Why do that?”

“I don’t know.”

Back to green. “Well, that’s a first,” Harvey commented, snapping back to snide mode. “The oh-so-magnificent Numbuh 1, stumped.”

“Don’t rub it in,” Nigel muttered between clenched teeth.

At that moment there was a knock on the door, interrupting their lie detector session. “Are you done in there?” asked a female Irish-accented voice that Nigel and Harvey both recognized as Fanny’s.

“Not yet,” replied Harvey. “How’re the files, Numbuh 86?”

“I’ve got them loaded in. Never thought I’d say this, Numbuh 363, but you’re a real life-saver. Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.”

“That’s what you thi – mmph!” Nigel began to say loudly, only to be cut off as Harvey quickly rushed to cover his mouth. “What was that?” asked Fanny.

“Nothing, nothing!” replied Harvey hastily. “The electricity’s already starting to affect Numbuh On –”

CRUNCH!!

“YEOW!!” Harvey yelped in pain as he cradled his gloved hand, clutching the part where Nigel had bitten him. “Son of a – that was low, even for you!!”

“What??” Fanny asked.

“Nothing, Numbuh 86,” said Harvey. “You should probably get going now.”

“…All right then. Call security if there’s any problem.” There was the sound of her footsteps moving away.

“You are an asshole!!” Harvey hissed, pausing to disinfect his injured hand. “You probably have rabies or something…”

“I’m not the person with teeth like a chipmunk’s. And what happened to ‘that’s a risk I’m willing to take’?”

Harvey watched as Nigel tried desperately to pry the ring off. “Don’t bother; that isn’t coming off without a pass-code.”

“What?”

“That ring is connected to the machine, and the machine’s pretty heavy. To take it off, you’ll have to risk breaking it and facing Numbuh 86’s wrath or wait for me to unlock it.”

“You are such a –”

“– Brilliant and intelligent schemer? I thought of everything; the keypad next to the bulbs is your only way to freedom and only I can use it,” said Harvey smugly.

Nigel growled. “I hate you.”

“Yet you like my sister. Isn’t that odd?”

“She is nothing like you! You’re evil, just plain evil!”

“Says the person who has the KND/TND’s greatest enemies for relatives,” Harvey shot back.

Nigel winced at the low blow. “I can’t exactly choose my relatives,” he muttered sullenly.

“Speaking of relatives; during the fiasco involving your grandfather, the Citizombies invaded the Moon Base. My sister was one of the victims. Where were you?”

“I was gathering reinforcements with my father.” Nigel replied. He decided to leave out the secret about the Delightful Teens; that knowledge was something that the fewer people knew, the better.

Still green… “Ah yes. The legendary Numbuh Zero himself,” Harvey recalled, “So, what happened afterwards?”

“My Sector and I launched the Moon Base right into Grandfather’s inner sanctum before decommissioning him, lifting his curse. I lost consciousness in the resulting crash.”

“And who pulled you out from the wreckage?”

“…Rachel.”

“And then?”

Nigel thought a bit before answering. “I swore to myself that I’d work harder, to be the best of the best, so something like that would never happen again. I even became her bodyguard when I entered the TND.”

“So she’s just a commitment you have to keep.”

“No.” Still green…

“Then? What is she?”

“…A friend.”

The electric shock now made Nigel cry out in pain.

“A friend? No one I know goes around wanting to kiss their ‘friend’.” Harvey made quote-signs with his fingers as he said that.

“Are we done yet?!”

“Nope.”

“What else do you want from me?”

“I want you to take good care of her,” Harvey stated seriously. “She’s the only sister I have. Unfortunately, however, she likes you.”

“How is that unfortunate??”

“Simple. I hate your guts.”

“I hate your guts too. Are we done now?”

Harvey appeared not to hear that question. “Did you know that even after her alleged decommissioning, she still watched out for me? Not many ‘decommissioned’ operatives do that for their younger siblings. Now I see the older sister who has doted on me for nine years giving you the same affection. I for one think that’s unfair.”

“What, you jealous?”

“Hardly,” Harvey scoffed. “You don’t deserve her accord.”

“And what makes you think so?”

“Where should I begin? Ah yes. First off, the way you dress.”

“…What’s wrong with the way I dress?”

“You wear the same grimy red sweater, brown Bermudas and white-and-black sneakers almost every day.”

“Look who’s talking; you wear the same burlap bag you call a sweater almost every day yourself.”

“I fail to see your point. And don’t get me started on your sunglasses.”

“And what’s wrong with them, pray tell?”

“Other than the fact that you wear them even though you’re indoors??” stated Harvey, “Last I checked, you’re not an albino, and you don’t have any eye problems.”

“Oh, but I do have eye problems. They only occur when I’m looking at you.”

The light turned green. “Ha ha, so you’re a comedian now, eh? Well, I think your sunglasses are stupid. Most of the female operatives spend half their time swooning over how they make you look all ‘cool, mysterious and sexy like James Bond’, which you most certainly are not.” A pause. “Although you do share his tendency of going around wanting to kiss random people’s sisters…”

“For your information, the sunglasses are a symbol of my role as Commander of Sector V.”

“There’s a helmet for a reason,” said Harvey.

“A reason that’s hardly reasonable in this sweltering weather,” retorted Nigel. “What else is wrong with me?”

“The way you talk.”

“What’s wrong with the way I talk?”

“Your stupid accent,” Harvey stated bluntly. “That, and the fact that you and Numbuh 85 are two of the few people who actually have the gall to back sass me, despite my clearly higher rank.”

Nigel smirked. “Numbuh 85 was always a smart kid. And Numbuh 86 and Numbuh 362 boss you around all the time; I don’t see why I can’t.”

“…You’re a real piece of work, arent’cha?”

“And what if I am?”

“Have you ever had any sexual fantasies or wet dreams about my sister?”

“No.” The shock that hit Nigel next was twice as powerful as the last one, and the glowing red bulb seemed to laugh at him.

“Big lie, Uno. What was going through your filthy little mind, hmm?”

“Nothing!” The next shock made him groan in agony.

“I sincerely hope you’re not kinky. You don’t happen to have a dominatrix or a bondage fetish, do you?”

“WHAT?! NO!!” Even as Nigel yelled that in pure outrage, he couldn’t help but wonder where Harvey had learned the terms ‘dominatrix’ and ‘bondage’. He then decided that this was something he’d rather not know.

Harvey didn’t need to look at the machine to know that Nigel was telling the truth. “That’s good,” he said, nodding in approval.

“Are we done now?” Nigel demanded testily.

“Just one more question,” Harvey replied, taking out his 2x4 communicator and dialing a number. “Hello, Rachel?” he spoke after a pause. “It’s me. Do you have a few minutes to spare? …You do? Great. Could you come down to the fifth floor testing room? There’s something I need your help with. …Okay, thanks. See you later.”

Nigel paled as the younger Mackenzie hung up. Just what was Harvey planning? “What do you intend to do with me?”

“You’ll see.”

A few minutes passed before there was a knock on the door, which opened to reveal the Supreme Leader of the TND. “You needed me for something, Harvey?” Rachel asked.

Harvey nodded. “Yep. I need you here for the last question I have for Numbuh 1.”

By now all the color had drained from Nigel’s face; he was sweating profusely, feeling claustrophobic all of a sudden. This was not good at all. There was no way of escape…

“You told me something a while back, didn’t you, Sis?”

“Well…”

“Something about him…”

“Err…”

“You told me that you loved –”

“Harvey!!” Rachel interrupted, her cheeks reddening. “Please don’t. I told you that in confidence.”

“Well, I think it’s about time you stopped playing games,” Harvey declared. “You’re not kids anymore. Enough glances of naked longing.” To Nigel he said, “Numbuh 1, do you love her?”

Nigel was frozen in silence; the lie detector would expose the truth no matter what he said. If he said no and if it was true, he was screwed. Rachel would be heartbroken. If he said yes, and it was true, he would also be screwed. What would he do if he really did love her? If he said no and it was a lie, he was really screwed. She would feel guilty that he’d deny his love for her. If he said yes and it wasn’t true, he was royally screwed; she’d think he pitied her, and he’d know he didn’t love her, plus the lie would add insult to injury.

In other words… he was screwed no matter what he said.

“Don’t force him, Harvey,” Rachel pleaded. “It’s okay if he doesn’t feel the same way.”

“You hear that, Uno? She’s in love with you.”

“Harvey, please don’t –”

“She has been for a very long time,” Harvey continued relentlessly.

“Harvey –”

“She’s been through a lot of pain because of you.”

“Don’t say any more.”

“And I hate seeing my Sis in pain.”

“Numbuh 363, as Supreme Leader of the TND, I order you to cease this at once!”

“With all due respect, Numbuh 362, this is one order I’m going to have to disobey.” Harvey turned back to Nigel. “Answer me, now!!”

Nigel remained silent. For once, he was at a loss for words. “Harvey, stop this,” Rachel repeated. “Numbuh 1, I understand. You probably think I’m stupid or something. I’ll… just be going now.”

She turned to leave, only to stop when Nigel softly spoke. “Yes.”

“Green,” Harvey announced with smug satisfaction. “Glad you were telling the truth.” The Global Tactical Officer punched in the code, and the ring disengaged from Nigel’s thumb. “I’ll leave you two to yourselves.” With that he strode out of the room.

Nigel walked over to Rachel. “Did you mean that, Numbuh 1?” she asked.

“I wasn’t lying, that’s for sure,” replied Nigel.

Rachel blushed. “He didn’t torture you too much, did he? I never authorized him to do this.”

“I know. Meaning no disrespect, Numbuh 362, but your brother’s sick in the head.”

“I know,” Rachel sighed. “He cares about me, although his way of showing it is a little… unorthodox.”

“What about you?” Nigel asked. “Do you really –?”

“Of course. I’ve been crushing on you ever since I first laid eyes on you.”

He smiled. “My thumb hurts.”

“You must’ve lied quite a lot,” she replied wryly. Taking his hand she gently blew on the injured thumb. “Feel better now?”

“I know something that would make me feel even better.” Cupping her cheek with his remaining hand, Nigel leaned in and pressed his lips to hers. Rachel promptly melted into his arms, returning the kiss with equal passion.

“N-Nigel…” she murmured dazedly, “…am – am I dreaming?”

“No, you’re not,” Nigel huskily replied, gently stroking her hair as he kissed her once more.

“I’m not so sure,” she said, as they broke apart for air.

Nigel smiled. “Rachel, would I ever lie to you?”

Author’s Notes

No, it’s not over yet; in the next part, Nigel, Rachel and Fanny team up to dish out major payback on Harvey. And let’s just say it won’t be pretty…

The name “Boaz” is a nod to the anime series Mobile Suit Gundam SEED.

And yes, I am slightly obsessed with Sector W; they intrigue me the most, and you can’t deny that they should’ve had more screen time on the show. You’ll notice that they’re always in my KND stories, be it as main/supporting characters or simply mentioned in passing.

My memories of Operation: Z.E.R.O. are more than a little fuzzy, so any inaccuracies are purely unintentional.

This story was actually inspired by a fic on this site; I’ve long forgotten the title and fandom, but it was about an over-protective older brother giving a lie detector test to his sister’s boyfriend. Credit goes to the author of that fantastic story.

With that aside, please tell me what you think.