Author: Since I am very scared of Davy Jones, I have been inspired to make fun of him!

DJ: What?

Author: That's right! I am making fun of you, even though you creep me out!

DJ: You'll soon regret it!

Author: Or will I? -smirks-

Ask him if he wants an open-heart surgery.

Play “Phantom of the Opera” on his organ.

Say “Takoyaki is good” and walk away. Repeat every 10 minutes. (Takoyaki is octopus fritters)

Ask him how old he is exactly.

Get a replica of his key and say, “You want this back? I borrowed it.” Then grin.

If he tries to kill you (like he did to Mercer) say, “I don’t want Takoyaki attacking me, I only wanted to show you a replica of your key.”

Call him “Calamari dude”.

Trade his organ for bagpipes (Scotland was wear Davy came from)

Call him “Cephalopod face.” (cephalopod is a fancy name for octopus)

Every time you see him smoke, snatch his pipe and say, “Don’t smoke! It sucks.”

Every time you see him pull out his sword, say: “I was expecting a swordfish.”

Ask him if he has ever felt a heart burn.

If he answers no, take his heart and put it over a fire.

Cheat on a game of Liar’s Dice.

Mock his accent by talking to him in a confusing accent.

Take him to Japan and leave him there. (Who knows what will happen…)

Take him to a therapist, and leave him there.

Clean up his ship and paint it blue so it can really blend in with the sea.

Every time you hear the word “Flying Dutchman”, look up and say, “WHERE? I want to see a Dutch fly!”

Get a different heart and stab it, seeing what his reaction would be.

Asks him how he pronounces “Kraken”.

Take him to an aquarium and leave him there. After a month or so, come by to see if he has his own tank.

If he is on land standing in a bucket of water, say, “Can I has a bucket?” Then repeat every 5 minutes.

Push him towards the wall and see if he goes through it.

Say, “You’ve been cheated by Calypso. She once fell in love with a Greek guy named Odysseus.”