Disclaimer: No, I do not own Abba, Mamma Mia, or Lily and Rufus’s relationship. I did, however, change some of the lyrics to fit their situation

After Lily saw her daughter with his son for what felt like the millionth time that month, she couldn’t help but rush back to her suite at The Palace. I mean, sure, she and Rufus hadn’t had a relationship in over 10 years, but something about their kids so happy together made her feel…unhappy and a little jealous. She didn’t understand why, of course. She should have been the happy one, being engaged to Bart Bass, one of the richest men on the UES, after all. She always wanted someone who was committed and had a plan. But she wasn’t happy. Everyone thought that Lily was this strong person who could just go from husband to husband; from marriage to divorce. But the harsh reality was, she wasn’t strong at all. She was weak. But she let only one person she that, and unfortunately, she found herself falling for him all over again.

No, Lillian van der Woodsen, she thought, you can’t. You promised Serena.

And this was true. She promised her daughter that she wouldn’t start a relationship with Rufus because of all the conflict it might cause for Serena and Rufus’s son, Dan’s relationship. It was just, after seeing how happy Serena was with Dan, she couldn’t help but wonder if she and Rufus could’ve had a relationship like that.

Okay, she admitted to herself, I miss him.

She missed his bad jokes, his sense of humor, and even that little art gallery. She missed his laugh, their short phone calls, and even that dinner they shared that one night went Eric disappeared from the Ostroff Center and he helped her.

A small tear fell down her face. Lily laughed. She was being so sentimental. In an attempt to lighten up her spirit, Lily turned on her Bose system and clicked “shuffle”.

They passed me by
All of those great romances
Because of your
Robbing me
Of my rightful chances

Great. It was that song; the song that she played right after she broke up with him and told him the lie that there was someone else. She tried to fight back tears.

My picture clear
Everything seemed so easy
But the she dealt me the blow
One of us had to go
How it hurt me
I want you to know

One of us is crying
One of us is lying
In her lonely bed
Staring at the ceiling
Wishing she was somewhere else instead
One of us is lonely
One of us is only
Waiting for a call
Sorry for herself
Feeling stupid
Feeling small
Wishing she had
Never left at all
Never left at all