Title: The Kiss

Pairing: Jack/Gabrielle

Disclaimer: Of course I don't own anything. If I did, I'd be writing scripts, not fanfiction.

The Kiss

“You know, I could reach into your body and massage your muscles and it wouldn’t do a thing if you insist on being tense like this,” Doctor Jack Quade said amiably. He was trying to get his colleague Gabrielle Jaeger, Nursing Unit Manager for the Emergency Department of All Saints Western General Hospital, to relax, but she was thwarting his efforts every few minutes but tensing up and sighing with frustration.

“Well, it’s pretty hard to relax when I’m seeing gaping holes in my roster already. I hate to think what will happen nine o’clock on Friday night.” Nine pm on Friday and Saturday were the worst times for staff to call in sick – faking it as they headed out the door for a night out. With the new Head of Medicine Olive Morone’s decree that all agency nurses had to be approved by admin, and admin only being operation Monday-Friday nine-five, they were going to get caught short drastically.

Nowhere more so than in the ED. They were the front line of medicine, they needed to have a full staff at all times. Especially on weekend nights, when people did all sorts of things to themselves while drinking, taking drugs and generally being irresponsible. And as the NUM, it was Gabrielle’s job to make sure she had a full staff at all times.

She depended on being able to call in agency staff. There was no way an ED could be run without them, no way they could abide by Morone’s new edict and not jeopardize patient welfare.

“If I talk to him, will you relax?”

“What can you do, he already turned Zoe down flat?” Not that she didn’t appreciate the effort, but if their 2IC couldn’t achieve anything, why did someone lower on the food chain think he could do?

Jack shrugged. “I learnt pretty early on that to get what you want done in a hospital, you need to be on especially good terms with three groups – the nurses, pathology, and admin. Oliver likes me. Doesn’t hurt that I’m president of my chapter on MENSA. Or that he thinks I’ve slept with half the women between twenty and forty on this hospital. I don’t know which he considers a better trait for a doctor to have.”

“What, being a certified genius or being a womanizer?” she teased. “Are you really a member of MENSA?”

“Yes to both. Honestly, I think competence and compassion are a touch more important but Oliver likes me and while I’d like the Director of Medicine to like me for other reasons, he does, and my talking to him won’t do any harm.”

He could feel Gabrielle relax under his fingers. He appreciated the difficultly of her job and didn’t see it as any hassle to go in to bat for her. “Just don’t tell Frank, or he’ll want me using up all my hard-earned goodwill on covering his mistakes. And, uh, Oliver may think we’re sleeping together.”

“Why? Did you say something?” he asked suspiciously, tensing up again. The last thing she needed was for people to think she was involved with Jack. Not that she didn’t get along great with the guy. He was fun and intelligent and made her feel at ease with herself. But he had the foulest reputation with women, and she didn’t need hers attached to his.

Jack respected that. In fact, he was the one who insisted the door to the office Gabrielle shared with Frank Campion and Zoe Gallagher, the Head of Department and 2IC respectively, be kept open as he helped her with her rosters. He had a knack for them but no way could Jack be left alone behind closed doors with a single woman and not have the gossip mills crank up. There had been too many women and too many incidents with them for that.

“Of course I didn’t. But he asked me what I thought of you and I said I liked and respected you, but I didn’t know you personally very well ’cos I can’t spend time alone with you with this reputation I’ve got. He said something I’m not going to repeat that made me think he thought there was something going on between us.” What Oliver had actually said was that Jack had a reputation with the nurses (and had said it like that was a commendable thing), and everyone knew the plain ones were better in bed because they tried harder. Jack doubted Oliver knew much about bedding nurses, plain or otherwise.

Gabrielle relaxed again. She allowed herself a small flirtation. “If you managed to get Oliver to reinstate by right to hired agency staff, I will sleep with you, make it official.”

Jack allowed himself one back. “Is that a promise?” he joked.

--

“What’s going on with those two?” Zoe asked from the front desk of the ED. From her vantage point, she could see Jack and Gabrielle talking about something, and she wondered what it was. They were awfully pally these days, ever since she had been assigned to babysit him when he started working in the ED again after his breakdown.

“What do you mean? What have you heard?” Frank asked suspiciously. The last thing he needed was Jack getting involved with yet another member of his staff. Not, as Gabrielle kept informing him, that she was a member of his staff.

“You know gossip goes down, not up, Frank,” Zoe said. People were much likely to gossip to their colleagues and subordinates than their bosses. “They just seem really friendly.”

“They’d better leave it at that,” Frank grumbled.

--

“Doctor Marone, may I have a word with you?” Jack asked politely a while later.

Oliver smiled an ingratiating smile that got on Jack’s nerves. He found the man two-faced and boorish. But he needed a favour. “Anything, Jack, you know that.”

“It’s about this new nursing edict – ” he began.

Oliver frowned. Zoe had made a point, the ED needed nurses when they needed them, but he was trying to stick it to Frank Campion. “I’ve already made it clear to Doctor Gallagher –”

“I know you have, and I’m sorry if I’m overstepping the boundaries, but I really think you should reconsider this.”

“Why?”

“Because I know Gabrielle Jaeger and I know she’s not someone you want to get offside.”

“Why?”

“Doctor Marone, you know my reputation. I’ve had close personal relationships with three of her predecessors. I know how hard the job can be. Nurses who appreciate nothing and complain about everything and doctors with superiority complexes. Not to mention Frank can be quite… autocratic.”

“Ah, yes, Frank. Tell me, Doctor Quade, don’t you get frustrated by the way he plays favorites?”

“I have no idea what you mean.”

“His attitude towards Doctor West, for example. He breaks doctor-patient confidentiality, he starts a relationship with a patient, he takes his anger out on his patients when that doesn’t work out. And Frank continues to tolerate it. I don’t understand why any of his subordinates tolerate it.”

Jack refused to be taken in, although privately, he did share Oliver’s opinions. Bart could over behave appallingly. They had all felt hamstrung over the Dowds, but Bart had just blabbed because he was angry about a residency position not being available for him – and being left out in the cold about Dan and Ricki’s relationship. And getting involved with Ann Marie had been dumb – even now, Jack couldn’t have as much sympathy for Bart as he would have anyone else, because if they’d only waited until she was in remission –

And Frank did cut Bart too much leeway. Feeling guilty over him being shot, feeling guilty over the residency position, feeling sorry enough over Annie to overlook his getting involved with a patient – yes, she was dying, but that didn’t negate the fact he’d gotten involved with a patient in the first place.

Jack knew what Oliver was trying to do. He was trying to get Jack to vent about Frank. Wasn’t going to happen. If Oliver wanted Frank out, that was his prerogative, but Jack didn’t intend on being used as a pawn. “What Frank does is Frank’s decision,” Jack said diplomatically. “I just know that he demands a lot of people and Gabrielle knows how to handle him more than other NUMs. She’s not someone you want to get offside by 

denying her the nurses she needs – and you can’t deny that when we get an MVA at two in the morning, she needs to have those nurses.”

“You seem to have quite an interest in this,” Oliver said slyly.

Prick, Jack thought. He couldn’t go in to bat for a friend and colleague without it being sexual? “I have an interest in having the nursing staff I need, and I have an interest in having a competent NUM managing that,” he said. “She’s dealing with enough pressure being an ED NUM as it is. Would you rather she find more favorable terms somewhere else and have her replaced with someone far less competent? You know, when Nelson Curtis quit, Frank had to bully Dan Goldman into taking the job in the interim. It’s not a job a lot of people are interested in, and Gabrielle is the best we’ve had. You’re job is the run the most efficient hospital you can.” No, you’re job is to cut costs as much as you can. But Jack only thought that. “Do you really want to jeopardize the goodwill of the best NUM you’ll ever have because of a grudge you have with Frank?”

“You know, Doctor Quade, if I didn’t know you better, I’d think you were sweet on a particular nurse,” Oliver said with a sly grin. His sarcasm was obvious. Jack wanted to throttle him. But he was determined to do what he could for Gabrielle.

--

“Wow, who’d you have to sleep with to get Oliver to get him to back down?” Zoe asked a little enviously when she saw Jack slipping a piece of paper into Gabrielle’s pigeonhole and inquired what it was.

Jack smiled ruefully. “Two of Gabby’s predecessors.” He explained his conversation with Oliver, making faces as he did. “That man is an megalomaniac out to get Frank,” he said.

Zoe laughed. She didn’t particularly like Oliver either, but like Jack, she was willing to tow his line to make life easier. She decided if she ever became head of the ED, she’d keep an eye out on Jack. It would be a pleasure to work with someone who didn’t take delight out of sticking it to admin just because.

They chatted for another minute or so until Gabrielle came along, read over Oliver’s new edict and squealed like a little girl, throwing herself into Jack’s arms and kissing him full on the mouth.

It was an impulsive act, but Jack’s reaction was immediate and automatic. He wrapped his arm around her waist, his free hand along the back of her neck. He used his tongue to open her mouth, pushed it in, sought out her tongue. She shivered as their tongues met and wrapped her arms around his neck, thinking of nothing but how good kissing him felt.

She had never been kissed like this. Not by Steve, not by anyone. It had started as an impulsive gesture of thanks and ended with a very passionate and very public kiss, in front of colleagues and patients.

For thirty seconds, they stood in the ED, wrapped up in each other, completely oblivious to everything and everyone around them. Other staff members – Steve, Bart, Charlotte – came in to see why everything had suddenly gone quiet. They stared as soon as they saw, floored by the completely randomness and unexpected nature of Jack Quade and Gabrielle Jaeger sharing a passionate kiss in the ED…

“What the bloody hell is going on here?” Frank’s booming voice demanded, shocking everyone out of their silent surprise – and causing Jack and Gabrielle to jump apart, both looking very guilty.

Jack’s immediate impulse was to wipe his mouth with the back of his hand, a gesture Gabrielle noticed – and made her die a little inside. “I, um, have to do… something…somewhere…” he mumbled, and dashed off, head down, to anywhere but the ED and Frank’s watchful, demanding glare.

“I have rosters to do,” Gabrielle said, and bolted to the relative security of her office, where she could get away from the staring eyes of her colleagues.

Oh, God, what had she done? OK, so she hadn’t expected Jack to kiss her back as passionately as he had, but she had kissed the guy in front of everyone in front of her nurses – in front of Steve – in front of Frank.

Worse than that, she had enjoyed it. Beyond enjoyed it. It had been the best sexual experience of her life. Sex with Steve had nothing on kissing Jack. She had completely surrendered to Jack’s embrace – the embrace of a man who, rumour had it, had slept with half the nurses in the hospital.

And she had just made herself his latest conquest. OK, so she hadn’t slept with him, not that it mattered – a display that public and people would be talking – and grossly exaggerating – for weeks.

Her thoughts were interrupted by Frank bursting in. “You care to tell me what that was about?” he demanded.

“He, uh, did me a favour and I kissed him impulsively and things got out of hand,” she said weakly.

“What kind of favour?”

Instinct told her that if Frank knew Jack had the ability to smooth things over with admin, he’d be exploiting that. “It doesn’t matter, it’s done.”

Frank grunted. “You made an ass of yourself out there.”

“I know.”

“And you made an ass out of me.” Which to Frank was far more important.

“I know. Frank, I’m sorry OK. It was just a stupid impulsive thing. It won’t happen again.”

Frank grunted again. “Better bloody not.”

--

Charlotte found Jack by the artificial lake on the hospital grounds, throwing stones into it. “You need a newer hiding spot,” she kidded as she sat down beside him. She knew he found water soothing. “What the hell was that about?”

“Wasn’t my fault, she kissed me,” he said indignantly.

“So you couldn’t help yourself, you had to make it into this epic movie thing?” Charlotte teased. Jack blushed.

“I don’t know what came over me,” he mumbled. “It was… nice.”

Charlotte clucked her tongue. “You know if Frank ever hears you say that –”

Jack looked at her, distressed. “You won’t say anything will you?” he asked.

“Of course not. I’m just reminding you that he’s not happy.” She sighed and put her head on his shoulder. Jack was always falling for the wrong women. “So, you liked it, huh?”

“I haven’t felt that way since… well, not since Deanna,” he said, searching his mind to come up with the last time he hadn’t been going through the motions with a woman. That first kiss, that giving into chemistry, that being so totally hot for someone that you couldn’t think beyond having them in your arms – fat lot of good that had done him with Deanna. He frowned, and if Charlotte hadn’t known him better, she would have thought he was frowning at the trouble he’d gotten into sharing a kiss with Gabrielle.

“That good, huh?” she asked ironically. She’d had good reason to hold Deanna in contempt – she’d wreaked havoc through the ED, caused Frank’s heart attack and stolen Charlotte’s fellowship report – but Charlotte also appreciated that Jack had been in love with her, which had only made her betrayal all the harder to deal with. “Why don’t you tell her?”

Jack looked shocked. “And what, get a smack in the mouth for it?” he asked incredulously. “No way would she ever go out with me.”

“Why not?”

“You really want me to count the reasons? How about the first time we met, she informed me she knew of my reputation with women in her position – ” meaning the ED NUM “ – and told me if I laid a hand on her she’d have be up on sexual assault charges. Or the fact I managed to get her per agency nurse to quit after I slept with her and behaved like an absolute asshole the next day?”

“Jack… everyone knows how hard you’ve been trying to get your life back on track,” Charlotte said sympathetically. “Frank Dan, me… even Gabrielle. She doesn’t hold what happened with you and Rachel against you.” Thought Charlotte wasn’t about to give Jack that kind of ammo, Gabrielle had been really unimpressed by the fact Rachel had gone to bed with Jack so quickly. Any moron’s dog would have seen he was using booze and women to find comfort from whatever demons were driving him for months before his friend Travis had died, but Rachel apparently hadn’t had the sense of a moron’s dog – at least not when it came to Jack. The woman had been infatuated with him from day one, too infatuated to realize that she was just a convenient lay to him. What had she expected would happen, he’d wake up the next day, hungover, and realize that he was desperately in love with her?

But Charlotte didn’t say that. Neither did she say that Gabrielle was a lot more impressed with him these days than she had been – well, ever. It was obvious Jack was determined to beat himself up for taking things too far, for letting things accumulate in the first place, for every little thing he’d ever done to use women, so that now he was convinced that someone like Gabrielle would never be interested in him.

--

The next day, the ED was strangely quiet, as people wondered how Jack and Gabrielle would react to one another. They were professional and polite to one another, and Jack waited until he got her alone to say something. “I’m really sorry about yesterday,” he said. “I got a bit carried away.”

“It’s not your fault. I kissed you,” she said, feeling the colour rise to her cheeks just thinking about how hot the kiss had been.

“I didn’t have to stick my tongue down your throat. So… I’m sorry. And… I hope we can get over this embarrassment and get back to normal.”

“Of course.” She was impressed Jack was being so adult about this – taking responsibility, apologizing, wanting to get over it.

“And, I, uh, told Rachel.”

The blood completely drained from her cheeks. The memory of the kiss suddenly became something cheap and deceitful at Rachel’s name. After all, it hadn’t been that long since he’d been doing a lot more than kissing Rachel. “Why’d you do that?”

“She still tempts here, mostly in oncology. I was a bastard to her and she deserved to hear it from me rather than the gossip vine.”

It was a fair argument. For all the extra grief it gave her to think about, she again had to be impressed with Jack’s maturity. She certainly wouldn’t have had the guts to tell Rachel what had happened. “What did she say?”

“She’s angry at me, nothing new,” he said ruefully. “I told her it was my fault.”

“It was both our faults,” Gabrielle protested.

“She’s already angry with me and she thought highly of you as a boss, enough that she’d come back in spite of Frank if it wasn’t for me. No point in having her angry at both of us.” The fact was, Jack knew Gabrielle and Rachel had an arrangement where Rachel worked if Jack wasn’t there, although Gabrielle hadn’t admitted as such. Rachel was a good nurse, and one who got on OK with Frank, no point in alienating her when she could just hate Jack a bit more.

“That’s… sweet.” And noble. There was nobility to taking the whole blame for something for the greater good.

Jack shrugged. “Figure I owe karma some sweetness. Oh, and if anyone gives you crap, let me know and I’ll deal with it.”

Gabrielle found herself laughing. “No way, Jack. I know your temper. I’ll deal with it myself – if anyone gives me crap.”

He smiled. He had her laughing; things were getting back to normal already. “Good,” he said about nothing specific. “I… guess I’ll see you around then.” And he left the tea room, brushing his hand along her shoulder.

Immediate chemistry. Gabrielle shivered despite herself at the sparks of Jack’s fingers dragging along her shoulder. She gulped and forced herself to stay in her seat when some wild, impulsive part of her – the same 

wild, impulsive part of her that had jumped into Jack’s arms in the first place – contemplated doing the exact same thing which had gotten them into trouble – and headlining hospital gossip – in the first place.

Jack clenched his fingers into a fist. He fought the urge to keep his hand on her shoulder, to rub them, to wrap his arms around her waist from behind and nestle his head on her shoulder…

Stop it! He ordered himself. He couldn’t believe he was thinking like this. He wished Gabrielle had never kissed him.

For the rest of the day, he found it difficult to concentrate around her. Everything about her seemed enhanced. The smell of whatever soap she used lingering on her skin, the sound of her voice was sweeter, the sound of her laughter sharing a joke with Charlotte more intoxicating. He could barely make eye contact with her for fear he’d do something stupid, like blurt out this silly infatuation which made no sense. It was a kiss, a silly, impulsive kiss. He had never thought of Gabrielle in these terms before.

But now that he was, his mind was cycling through their shared history – scant as it was – and holding onto every moment. His first day back, when first she’d riled him for treating a patient dismissively then grown to respect him over the day. When she’d been frightened by their patient’s massive, growling dog and had jumped back into his arms. The time she’d shown him compassion over losing a patient, and ruffled his hair, Christ, he normally hated people touching him, but that… he had kind of liked.

Even the time shortly after they had met, when she’d made it clear to him she had no interest in him and if he interpreted that in any way she’d have him up on sexual assault charges – that now seemed to only demonstrate her independence and spirit. Oh, God, I’m obsessed, he thought miserably.

It didn’t take long for people to notice, especially Dan. “What’s up with you today, man?” he asked when they were at home later that evening, a rare night when they were both off but Erica was working, so they settled in with pizza and playstation.

Jack shrugged. “No idea what you’re talking about.”

Dan laughed. “Uh, what I’m talking about would be the fact you can’t look Gabrielle in the eye and you’re jumpy around her.” He didn’t add that the weirdness between them seemed to go both ways. “Has this got anything to do with you kissing her?”

“She kissed me! You saw it!” Jack said indignantly.

“I saw you getting pretty into it,” Dan replied. “What were you thinking?”

“I don’t know,” Jack said unhappily. “It just… felt really nice. More than that. I know you didn’t like Deanna but I haven’t felt like that with a woman since her. Y’know when everything just fades away and there’s nothing in the world other than the two of you?”

“Whoa,” Dan said, not sure if he should feel pleased for his friend, concerned there had been so many other women in the last two years of Jack’s life he hadn’t felt that, or a bit icky that he felt this way about Dan’s boss. “What are you going to do about it?” he asked Jack after a few seconds of digesting the information.

“What can I do about it? It’s not like she’d ever get involved with me.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Uh, you live with me, Dan. You know my track record better than anyone.”

Dan was quiet. Yes, he did know Jack’s track record better than anyone – and he also knew Jack’s reputation was far worse than the reality. No woman at the hospital would date him for fear of becoming known as his latest conquest. Which in a way was good, it took a lot of temptation away, but bad because no decent woman – Gabrielle included – would go near him. Gabrielle had been reckless just in kissing him in public.

“Mate, I’m sorry,” Dan said sympathetically.

Jack made a face. “It’s OK. I brought it upon myself, I can’t complain about it now.”

--

The next day, Charlotte, leaning over the front desk and watching out of her peripheral vision, saw Jack was walking in one direction and Gabrielle in the other. They would pass each other without saying anything, which was mostly what they did these days, avoiding each other without avoiding each other, but if her foot were to accidentally swing out and the moment was right…

Gabrielle squealed as she tripped and started to fall. Jack acted instinctively as he had when she kissed him a few days before and caught her half a second after she started to fall. He wrapped one arm around her lower back, one arm around her upper back, holding her securely against his body.

He inhaled her scent – the combination of deodorant, shampoo and soap. He wanted to blurt out that she smelt really nice. And felt really good in his arms. Sexual heat radiated from where he was touching her.

She felt herself melt into his body, noting how well built he was. She wondered if he worked out. You had to, to get a figure like Jack’s. She wondered if he had the physical strength to sweep her off her feet…

Jack held onto her far longer that he had to. Finally, Gabrielle realized she’d spent too much time in his arms for a simple rescue job and scrambled out. “Thanks,” she said.

“You’re welcome.” They both walked off, looking flushed and awkward. Charlotte was grinning like a maniac.

“I saw that,” Zoe whispered, a conspirational smile playing on her face.

“Saw what?” Charlotte asked innocently. “Not my fault she’s clumsy.”

“Or that he held her longer than he had to?” Zoe asked.

“Exactly.”

Zoe frowned. “Look, you know him better that I do –” something that grated on Zoe a little, because she liked to know how her doctors operated, and Jack could be such a closed book, although he opened up to Charlotte more than most. “ – Do you think he’s ready to be in a relationship.”

“I hope you’re not asking me to go blabbing about my friends?” Charlotte asked coolly.

“Of course not. I want Jack to find someone he’s happy with as much as everyone.” As 2IC, she understood better than Charlotte appreciated that happy staff were more effective staff. “But… if this is just gong to be another of his things –” she stressed the word things; she didn’t need to elaborate on how disruptive Jack’s promiscuity had been to both his life and the people he worked with who had to deal with the consequences “ –then he shouldn’t be getting involved with a colleague. Certainly not one we need as much as Gabrielle.”

“He knows that, Zoe. I spoke to him, and he really likes her – more than he liked a woman in ages. But he doesn’t think she’d ever go out with him. If I can give them a nudge in the right direction…”

“Frank won’t appreciate it.”

“He’ll appreciate it when Jack’s actually happy, trust me on that.”

--

Gabrielle sat at her desk, unable to think about anything other than Jack. She was convinced she could still feel his hands on her back, her chest pushed against his, the heat radiating from his body – the smell of the deodorant he used still lingered, even though intellectually she got that she was just imagining it.

Was she becoming infatuated with Jack Quade? Jack Quade, of all people. Jack Quade, who had slept with one of her temp nurse and treated her so shabbily the next hat she’d it. OK, so she hadn’t thought much of Rachel that she’d jumped into bed with Jack when she should have realized how distraught he was, but…

She couldn’t help but wondering, would he treat her the same way if she gave into the chemistry they shared? Would he look right through her and dismiss attempts to bond with him? Would he snap at her in front of her colleagues? Maybe he was trying hard to get his life back on track, but he hadn’t been with anyone since Mercedes – at least, not that she knew of – so all she had to go back on was the way he’d treated Rachel.

Intellectually, she knew getting involved with Jack was a bad idea. And yet… they had undeniable chemistry. And… he had been nothing by the epitome of respect and discretion since he’d come back to work. And he had 

once had a good reputation in regards to how devoted he was to his girlfriends – not all good, punchups with rivals, loyalty to an absolute bitch – but he was devoted to hem. Could he be cable of that kind of devotion again? Did he care enough about her?

Damn. She couldn’t believe she was so hung up on this. It had been a freaking kiss. It wasn’t like it had been a fling, or even a one-night stand. It had just been a kiss. It wouldn’t surprise her if Jack had forgotten about it entirely. Now, there was a depressing thought. She was hung up on a guy who hadn’t given her a second thought.

There was a knock on the door. It was Charlotte. “Can we talk?” she asked. Gabrielle nodded. Charlotte came in, and Gabrielle held out her lolly jar. “What’s going on between you and Jack?” she asked.

“Nothing,” Gabrielle said. Charlotte looked at her pointedly. “I don’t know,” she admitted.

“You like him,” Charlotte said the obvious

“Yeah,” Gabrielle admitted. “It’s stupid, Char. He’s been with half the women in this hospital and he probably hasn’t given me a second thought.”

“He has not been with half the women in the hospital, I can tall you that.,” Charlotte said. “And you should know better than to believe gossip like that. And how do you know he hasn’t given you a second thought? You looked pretty cosy there before.”

Gabrielle didn’t make the connection between Charlotte’s foot and her falling into Jack’s arms. “I tripped, he caught me,” she said. “It was nothing.”

Charlotte smirked. “He held you for longer than he had to.”

Gabrielle didn’t want to admit she was secretly stoked to hear that. “That doesn’t mean anything,” she said. “What’s it to you, anyway?”

“You both happen to be good friends of mine, and you both deserve someone special. You shouldn’t write Jack off just because he’s done some stupid things in the past. That’s all I’m saying.”

Gabrielle looked at Charlotte suspiciously, it finally occurring to her if the older woman had anything to do with her tripping. Charlotte looked as innocent as her baby boy.

--

Jack had been trying to get Gabrielle’s attention for almost a minute, but she was so lost in her thoughts that she didn’t look up when he called her name three times. Finally, he grabbed her upper arm, his fingers curling around her bicep in a strong grip.

The effect was immediate. It was like a lightning bolt had surged through her arms – a warm, sensual lightning bolt that delivered exquisite chemistry to her entire body. There was no mistaking there was a note of excitement in her voice when she yelped in surprise.

Jack looked very embarrassed. He hadn’t meant to make a scene, had only been trying to get her attention. Now everyone within five meters – which included most of their colleagues – had heart the desire in her voice. “Can you pass me Charmaine Adams’s file?” he asked.

Mutely, Gabrielle handed it to him. When Jack walked away, she quickly went to her office, locking the door, feeling the blood rise to her cheeks. She had just made a complete ass of herself. She was hugely attracted to him, and now he and the rest of the ED knew it.

And she didn’t even know how he felt about her, or even she’d even want to get involved with him.

Jack walked away, struggling not to blush – or run off like he had when Gabrielle had first kissed him. He hadn’t meant to get her worked up like that, but she hadn’t responded to him and…

He’d had the urge to take her in his arms the second he’d touched her. It was like spontaneous combustion, like throwing a match into a puddle of what you thought was fire-dousing water but was actually metho. He’d never imagined himself to be so attracted to Gabrielle Jaeger, who he’d never given much of a thought about, who had given him absolute hell for the way he’d treated Rachel.

And why the hell would she be interested in him? Even if she was attracted to him, why would she get involved with him? What had he done to earn her trust – and what hadn’t he done to earn her distrust?

But as the day wore on, he realized he could barely meet her eyes without thinking about holding her hands and kissing her. They had to hash this out.

“Can we talk?” he asked her later that day, careful not to touch her. “Late, in private?” She nodded; she knew as well as Jack did that they had to hash this out, they couldn’t just pretend the events of the last few days hadn’t happened. “When you finish , meet me out where the lake is. I’ll wait for you.”

--

He did wait for her, even though she was late. “Sorry,” she said, sitting down on the bench beside him, “I had to go over something with Frank.”

“It’s fine, gave me some time to think.” He took a deep breath. He was so nervous; he couldn’t believe how much so. It had been so long since he’d given a shit about a woman to be nervous. “Can I hold your hand?” he asked in a little boy voice that surprised her. She would never have guessed Jack was the kind of guy who wanted to hold hands.

She held out her hand and he threaded his fingers through it gratefully. She was shocked by how sensual it felt when he rubbed his thumb across the palm of her hand. “Jack…” she gasped, and he stopped, looking guilty.

“I didn’t mean to get you worked up,” he said. His throat felt dry. He fumbled for his bottle of water.

“Jack, you wanted to talk. Talk,” Gabrielle directed. He was nervous, which made her nervous. Was he trying to tell her he needed space from her? Then why had he wanted to hold her hand? Why was he being so sensual about it.

“Look, about two years ago I had this girlfriend, Deanna.” Jack made a face. “I’m sure you’ve heard of her.” Gabrielle had, and not in a good way. “I was crazy about her and I still remember our first kiss, the anticipation and how good it felt, sexy and loving and… God, I’m completely fucking this up, talking about another woman.” He took a deep breath and fumbled on. “There’s been a lot of women since her, dozens, and I know that must sound appalling to you but… what I’m trying to say is that there hasn’t been anyone I enjoyed kissing so much since Deanna. There’ve been a lot of women where… the only thing on my mind was screwing them, but with you… I can’t stop thinking about holding her hand, or the way you jumped into my arms over that dog. I think about where you’d like to go to dinner and making you breakfast in the morning and holding you.”

“Jack…” Gabrielle said, completely floored by his words. They were by far the sweetest things a man had ever said to her, despite his honesty in admitting to former indiscretions.

“Please, let me finish. I know I don’t have a good reputation but I swear, I make a good boyfriend. I’m loyal and supportive and devoted when I’m in love. I’m a big believe in fidelity, both ways, I’m not one of those assholes who expects it but not to give it back.” For a second, Gabrielle flinched, thinking Jack knew about her and Steve, then she realized he was just being general. There was a big culture within the medical community, especially with surgeons, that women were expected to be faithful but men who allowed to screw around. “I really like you, Gabby, and I want you to give me the chance to make you happy.”

When she didn’t respond, he leaned in to kiss her. Gabrielle pulled back, denying him the opportunity. “Sorry,” he said.

The first thing she blurted out was “Jack, you broke Rachel’s heart.”

His face fell. He knew that was going to come up but he’d hoped against hope that it wouldn’t. “I didn’t mean to,” he whispered.

“I know you didn’t. I know you were going through some absolute shit, even before Travis died. Honestly, I thought Rachel was a bit of a twit, getting involved with you like that when she should have known better. But… you were reckless enough to sleep with a colleague you should have known was infatuated with you. I get that there were a lot of circumstances, I get that you were really unhappy for a while before it but, Jack… I’m scared if I get involved with you and something happens you’ll just go back to that kind of behavior. I can’t deal with it. I don’t want my heart broken. I need to know what it was that was driving you… and that you’ve resolved it, not just for the time being, for forever.”

“I’m not ready to tell you what it was about,” he whispered. “But I will, I promise… when I’m ready. I’m seeing a counselor and when I feel lousy, I talk to her, I don’t go out and get wasted.” He gripped her hand tighter. “I want a relationship with you,” he admitted, and there was something in his voice that Gabrielle knew was real. “I don’t want any more flings and one-night stands with women I don’t give a shit about. I want to go out with you and cuddle you and hold your hand in public and tell the world that you’re my girl.”

His words were delivered with such sincerity that for a second Gabrielle was speechless. Then she blurted out, “OK.” For some reason she couldn’t articulate, she trusted Jack and right now wanted nothing more than to be in his arms.

He leant in to kiss her again, and this time, she didn’t pull back. She wrapped her arms around his neck and met his eyes in anticipation. Maybe Jack had been onto something before when he’d talked about that sexiness, that electricity… she gasped when Jack’s lips met hers and she melted into his arms She met his tongue with his and savored every sexy, electric moment as they kissed passionately on the bench.

After a few minutes she drew away so she could catch her breath. Jack held her lovingly, her head resting on his shoulders. “Jack, about sex…” she murmured.

“I can be patient, I don’t want to push you,” he said.

She sighed contentedly and melted a little more into his arms. She truly believed what he was saying. She had dated men who used the ‘I don’t want to pressure you’ line, but none that had meant it… until now. “I don’t want to wait, Jack,” she said. “Take me home.”

He pulled away from her slightly so he could meet her eyes. “You sure this is what you want?” he asked. “I’m serious, I don’t want to wreck things ’cos I want to get laid.”

She nodded shyly. She didn’t know why, but she had never felt so sure of anything. She… trusted Jack, which seemed crazy, and yet… “I’m sure. Take me home.”

Jack stood up, and offered her his hand, helping her to her fete. He wrapped one arm casually around her waist – anyone could see them and know they were together – and kissed her again. She rested her head on his shoulders as they began walking back to his car.

She knew she had made the right choice.