|BlueGhost Hunters, Intergalactic
Author: GreatOne PM
Our Fearless Heroes embark on a new and vital mission to help the citizens of the New Republic deal with those pesky Blue-Ghosts. STORY COMPLETED!Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Humor - Han S. & Luke S. - Chapters: 14 - Words: 21,246 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 06-13-08 - Published: 04-28-08 - Status: Complete - id: 4224746
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Lando Calrissian angrily waved the piece of flimsy in the air as he sat at the head of his expensive executive board table inside his luxurious penthouse. "Do you know what this is?" the refined man asked, outraged.
"No," Leia replied. "It's hard to read while you're waving it around."
"It's a bill!" Lando replied in annoyance. "A fifty-five thousand credit BILL! From the Jansons' lawyer, demanding physical and mental compensation for extensive damage to their…" He paused, reading from the flimsy, "'Extensive and unreasonable damages to the upstanding fine dining and overnight establishment, duly and legally known as the Happy Knight Bed and Breakfast, henceforth and herein referred to as the 'Happy Knight', for the rehabilitation and/or replacement of the viewing dura-glass as well as the framework enclosing said dura-glass, located in the substructure area of the 'Happy Knight'; and for the movable panel which allows entrance into and out of the 'Happy Knight's' freestanding storage structure, as well as the framework which holds said movable panel in place at the freestanding storage structure; and for the antique chandelier as well as the brackets, sockets, and all incandescent illumination bulbs for said chandelier, located in the communal fine dining area of the 'Happy Knight,' as well as irreplaceable antique souvenirs."
Lando paused for a moment to catch his breath, and waited for someone to make a comment. When no one spoke, he continued reading, "Also, it has been noted that severe water damage occurred in above stated substructure, the cause of which was the direct result of overloading the fuse-rod panel with excessive quantities of high-voltage equipment put in place by the members of 'Space Aces Pursing Specters', a.k.a. 'SAPS', legal employees of Blue-Ghost Hunters Intergalactic Holo-Production Company, thereby causing the substructure water pump to cease functioning, whereas said water damage then resulted in said substructure growing copious amounts of fungi, which can only be remedied by highly trained, specialized fungus-removal experts and fungus-removal equipment.' It also goes on to say something about desecrating a gravesite, and that Prissy Janson now has a hard time sleeping at night. Do you people have no shame?" He stopped ranting and glared at the silent group. "What do you have to say for yourselves?"
"Their lawyer must charge by the word," Han mumbled.
"We could always start a new business as fungus-removal experts," Luke quipped.
"THIS ISN'T FUNNY!" Lando roared.
"Calm down, Calrissian," Mara said. "I'm sure the holo-show will be a hit, and you can use the credits as a tax write-off."
"What holo-show?" Lando asked heatedly. "The letter goes on to say the Jansons signed the contract under duress and false pretenses, and I don't have any right to use their name, location, or any recordings taken on their property."
Wes coughed. "Well, that's probably a good thing."
"Why is that?"
"Um, you see, when the fuse-rod blew, all the holo-recorders stopped working, so we don't have much material. I also went through the hand-held PVR and Thermal Imagining Unit recordings, and nothing much showed up there, either."
"What about Threepio's holo-cam?" Leia questioned. "He was recording when all the impressive stuff was happening."
"Impressive stuff?" Luke repeated, sounding incredulous. "From the description Han told us, the galaxy is going to witness Jedi Skywalker running around a table being chased and gored by an invisible bull, and Princess Leia and Mara Jade standing on the table accusing each other of being liars and cheats. You'd want everyone to see us acting like we've lost our minds?"
Leia pursed her lips thoughtfully. "Not when you put it that way."
Threepio piped up nervously, "There was a small problem with the holo-cam, Mistress Leia."
"What problem, Threepio?"
"There wasn't a recording disc inserted while I was using the holo-cam," the droid said reluctantly. "But Master Wes never informed me that it wasn't loaded."
"You should've noticed!" Wes yelled, shifting in his chair so as not to face Lando directly. "The holo-cam flashes a red light when there isn't a disc inserted. Everyone knows that."
"Oh," Threepio said. "I was wondering what that little red light indicated." The droid perked up. "My programming does allow me to have an excellent memory recall. I could give a detailed recitation as to the exact events that transpired during the séance."
"We'd much rather that you didn't," Luke said.
"So we have nothing," Lando grumbled. "Except a fifty-five thousand credit bill."
"We got a lot of experience in ghost hunting," Wes said, trying to sound upbeat. "That has to count for something. For the next holo-show, I mean."
"It doesn't count for a dura-crete credit," Lando shot back. "There isn't going to be another episode. You're all fired."
"Damn," Han said with a straight face. "It's always the same old story. I can never hold down an honest job." Han looked at Leia as he stood up. "Can we go home now?"
"Of course, dear," Leia said. "But I have one question for Lando. Who did the Jansons hire as their lawyer?"
Lando frowned as he flipped through the sheets of flimsies, until he got to the last page. "Here it is. Attorney Stranger Janson."
"Why am I not surprised?" Leia remarked, rising from her seat and looping her arm through Han's. "Come on, Threepio. We're going home. I miss the children."
"Do I have to keep looking for a real job?" Han asked his wife.
Leia laughed. "Being my husband is a real, full-time job, Nerf. Sometimes it's even dangerous, too."
"Sometimes?" Han repeated. "Try almost every single day."
"We are going home! Thank the Maker," Threepio said, hurrying behind the Solos. "I've seen enough Blue-Ghosts to last a lifetime."
Luke heaved a sigh as he got up to leave. "I'd better head to Yavin, and go back to the boring life of being a Jedi teacher."
"It doesn't have to be boring," Mara remarked.
"Do you have a way to make it exciting?"
Mara smiled, and held out her hand, amused when Luke blushed as he grasped her fingers lightly. "Of course. I'll come back to Yavin and train with you."
Luke's face broke into a huge smile. "You will?"
"For a while," Mara quickly added. "Don't get too excited, Farmboy."
After Luke and Mara left the room, Wes and Lando stared across the table at each other. "Do you suppose there's money in fungus-removal?" Lando pondered aloud.
"I'm not sure, but I can always ask the experts," Wes volunteered.