~xXx~

Behind Closed Doors

Chapter 22

~xXx~

This is where we both get scared
And this is where emotion flares
This is where we both prepare

Navigate Me by Cute Is What We Aim For

~xXx~

“Wake up you fucking son of a bitch… Wake up for fucks sake…”

Kakashi was lying on a hard, very uncomfortable surface. He was lying on a hard, very uncomfortable surface and a familiar voice was swearing at him and an extremely uncomfortable, completely white, and way too bright light was shining straight into his eyes.

He blinked a couple of times, trying to sum up what had happened before he opened his eyes, much to his own displeasure as the light seemed to burn right through them and into his brain, and then sat up way too quickly, making himself dizzier than he had been in a long time.

“Kakashi, you’re back… You had me scared there you idiot!” he heard the familiar voice, his mind working on high gear trying to recognize it, and as his vision returned and he could see the pink hair of the girl standing over him he suddenly understood who it was and where he was.

That was Sakura, and he was at the hospital.

“What happened?” he asked her groggily, the details were still a bit fuzzy in his head, but coming back quickly. “Where’s Sasuke?!” instantly followed, shouted out without him even realizing how loud he was being.

“Calm down, Kakashi,” Sakura told him. He may be her old sensei, but right now she was the one in charge. He’d been quite messed up when he came in, but as there had only been one serious injury it hadn’t taken too much to fix him up, though she didn’t have all too much chakra left in her when she was done, and he’d be getting a new scar at the right side of his abdomen running from where his ribs ended slightly diagonally down to his hip-bone.

“Sasuke was taken away by ANBU and healed just to the point that he’s safe but not to the point that he’s well, I reckon he’s with Ibiki now, but I don’t know. You were in quite the state yourself, but nothing too serious though… You’ll be fine, but I want you to stay here for a couple of hours just to make sure, ok?”

Kakashi merely grunted, a loud, displeased, this-is-so-annoying grunt, then tried moving around a bit and found that there was nothing wrong with him other than that he was quite sore everywhere.

“I’d rather go somewhere else,” he said. ‘I want to be with Naruto. I need to be with him now…’ he thought to himself, picturing the blonde’s broken body as he’d seen not long ago at all.

“No, you will not.” Sakura said firmly, putting a hand on his chest to push him down.

She failed.

“I think I will,” he said confidently, one of the smug smiles that only he could manage barely visible through his mask.

‘His mask…’ The thought suddenly hit Sakura. ‘Why didn’t I peek under it when I had the chance?’ She mentally slapped herself as her ex-sensei got out of his bed and completely ignored her attempts at stopping him, leaving the room and making his way through the eerily white, medicine-scented hallways of the hospital.

~xXx~

Genma was starting to get scared. He’d known Iruka for a long time and he’d never seen the man as void of emotion as he was now. He’d never seen him so empty.

Of course, he understood that with such a loss as what the younger male had just experienced the reaction wasn’t abnormal in any way, but an emotionless Iruka… Well, who wouldn’t be at least a little frightened?

“Do you want some food?” he asked in the gentlest voice he could muster, slumping down by the kitchen table on the opposite side from Iruka. The man had been sitting there in silence since he woke up, so for three hours now, not moving at all.

“Hm?” the brunette replied confusedly, obviously he hadn’t caught a word of what Genma had said.

“Do you want some food, Iruka?” the very tired jounin repeated, but this time he wasn’t even given any form for acknowledgement that he was heard. Genma, who was not a morning person at all and on top of that had hardly slept, snapped.

“IRUKA! Snap out of it, Iruka, you’re starting to scare me! I know you lost her, but I’m right here, you know? I’m right here waiting for you and you’re not even going to acknowledge that fact?” He put a hand over his mouth in disbelief of his own words as Iruka’s head slowly turned towards him, tears in his chocolate eyes.

“I’m so-” he was cut of by his horrified admirer.

“That was out of place, Iruka. I’m so sorry, I should go now…” Genma quickly got to his feet and headed out of the kitchen when he felt a firm grip around his wrist, holding him back.

“Don’t go, please,” Iruka’s voice was so wounded, pleading and needing that there was no way he could defy it even if he had wanted to, not that he did. He turned around to face the younger male only to feel his lips captured by the smaller’s mouth in a desperate kiss.

Genma didn’t quite understand what was happening and Iruka didn’t really know why he was doing what he was doing, but it didn’t matter as they were both caught up in the moment, bodies close together and mouths diverting the other’s mind off his worries.

There was plenty of time for those worries.

Iruka moaned into the kiss that felt both so right and so wrong before he pulled back just a little, looking deep into Genma’s eyes.

“I want you so, so much,” he murmured in that hazy, lust filled voice that he so rarely used and only in certain situations, then he leaned towards Genma for another kiss, but instead of the mans lips meeting his he found that the other had pulled away and put his hands on his shoulders to stop him.

“Iruka,” he said softly. “You’re not yourself right now, and however much I want this I want you to want me in the same way that I want you, not just as a diversion from something. I can’t stand just being that to you, I need this to mean something more or nothing at all. I’m going to leave now, and I’ll talk to you later. I’m sorry, love.” It was one of the hardest things he’d ever done, but he had to do it. He couldn’t just be Iruka’s rebound from another lover, that could never be enough when he’d fallen as deep as he had for that sweet, sweet man.

~xXx~

When Kakashi had found his way up to Naruto’s room he walked straight to the blonde’s bed without even noticing there was another person in the room. He kissed the blondes forehead lightly and put a hand on his cheek, tilting it upwards only to find the boy’s eyes looking elsewhere than him.

Following the glance he looked straight into Jiraiya’s eyes, cursing himself for not having noticed.

“What happened out there, Kakashi?” Jiraiya asked him calmly.

“Let’s go outside for a moment,” Kakashi replied, then looked back to Naruto. “I’ll be back in no time, I promise.” The blonde nodded and watched the two men leave the room, wondering what they needed to go outside to talk about.

“Now?” Jiraiya enquired, he’d caught most of the situation through listening to the whispers of the nurses and doctors around the hospital, but he hadn’t yet gotten any trustworthy information about what had happened.

“He’s caught,” the silver-haired said, “He’s not deadly wounded and Ibiki’s taking care of him… We ended up Chidori to Chidori, but Sakura at least fixed me up, I’m not quite sure about his state though…”

“Do you know where I can find Tsunade?” She ought to know what was happening, Jiraiya thought, that and he just wanted to talk to her.

“No, I’m sorry.” Came the reply.

“I’ll give you some privacy and go find her,” the white-haired sannin said, taking off down the hallway as Kakashi walked back in to Naruto’s room.

He looked into the blonde’s eyes, searching them for what the blonde was feeling, but there were so many emotions in them that he couldn’t even separate them, so instead he walked over to his lover and sad down on the bed with him, lacing his fingers in his hair gently.

“How are you, Naruto?” he asked quietly, holding the blonde close.

“I’m not sure yet… I just… Everything’s always like this, so messed-up.” He answered, and Kakashi nodded. It was quite a good assessment of what had happened, if not a little understated.

“We got him, Naruto. He’ll get his punishment now.” Kakashi said after he pulled down his mask, his eyes never leaving the blonde’s.

“Oh,” Naruto said with so little emotion that it was just as if Kakashi had just commented on the clouds. It wasn’t that he didn’t care though, but by now he’d pushed all the happenings of late to the back of his mind in an attempt to forget – all he wanted was to move on.

“I love you.” Kakashi said out of the blue, smiling as his beloved.

“Thank you,” Naruto said hesitantly. “Thank you for not leaving me.” He closed his eyes and laid his head in Kakashi’s lap before murmuring four more little words. “I love you too.”

Kakashi didn’t know quite what to say and Naruto simply didn’t want to say anything else, so they sat there in silence and did nothing.

Nothing had ever felt so good before.

A knock on the door ruined the moment, and just a second later an eagle-masked ANBU entered the room.

“Hatake,” a male’s voice said. “I’m sorry the interruption, but you will have to come with me.”

~xXx~

It had taken him a while, but after looking in all the obvious places Jiraiya had almost given up when he thought of one last place. The place that she always used to go to when she wanted to be alone when they were younger, up on the hokage mountain on top of the second hokage’s head.

He made his way there quickly, and just like before she was standing as far out on the rock carvings as she could without danger of falling, looking out on her beloved and hated village.

Slowly, but with just loud enough steps that she noticed him, he made his way to her side and put a hand around her shoulders, awaiting whatever reaction she would have. She turned towards him and rested her head on his shoulder, standing there silently.

“What happened, Tsunade-chan?” he asked her softly, it’d been a very, very long time since he’d seen her like this.

She tilted her head up to look at him with tear-filled eyes as she answered. “It’s happening again, Jiraiya… I don’t know what to do…” He hugged her close and was about to say something to soothe her when one of Tsunade’s escort ANBU came to where they were standing, excusing himself.

“Tsunade, the council has sent for you, you are to meet with them immediately in your office.” The cat-masked figure awaited her answer.

“I will be right there, you’re dismissed.” She said; she just wanted one more moment alone with Jiraiya.

As soon as the ANBU left Tsunade’s eyes turned back to Jiraiya, and he smiled comfortingly at her, stroking a hand through her hair.

“I know it might seem like things are bad right now, Tsunade-chan, but you still have Naruto, don’t you? And no matter what happens you still have me, ok. I’ll be here for you. We’ll talk more after your meeting.” He let go of her a little reluctantly and she blinked her eyes a couple of times to clear away the tears she’d managed to keep from falling and nodded.

“See you, then.” She said as she turned away from him and started walking, leaving Jiraiya alone and worried.

It didn’t take her long to make her way back to the Hokage tower, and when she got there she walked straight into her office where Koharu and Homura were already waiting, their cold eyes looking straight at her.

What’s going on? She thought to herself, thinking hard to find a possible reason why they called her for a meeting. She almost gave up before the answer just popped into her mind. Kakashi.

“I believe you know what this meeting will be about?” Homura said, pushing his glasses just a little further back on his nose and looking at her. “Kakashi should arrive any sec… and there he is.” The man said as the door to her office opened and Kakashi was led inside by Eagle, who immediately left the room.

“Welcome, Hatake,” the old man said, still a stone-cold expression on his face.

“I have to give you my answer now, am I right?” Kakashi looked over the people before him, silently thanking Tsunade for having the only kind eyes in the room.

“Yes, Hatake, that would be why we called you here.” Koharu answered him coldly, her icy eyes locked on his visible one. “So, what is your conclusion?” she asked

“I…” Kakashi hesitated, the decision was one he didn’t want to make. He knew he had to, though. “I will do the mission, so please do tell me more about it, and also about the time-span of it.”

“Your mission will start as soon as we see fit, you may have to leave on one-day notice, and how long it will last is to be determined by how fast you can complete the mission.” Koharu’s emotionless voice said.

“What is it about?” Kakashi asked. “This mission must be something special, am I right?”

“Oh yes, Hatake. You will be infiltrating the organization Akatsuki lead by a man named Pain. We know for a fact that they are capturing and killing all the biju, but we do not know why. We also need to know more about their members and such, since we have reason to believe they might come to Konoha for the nine-tails.”

“His name is Naruto,” Kakashi coughed, his voice filled with suppressed anger.

“Excuse me, Hatake” Homura enquired.

“His name,” The jounin now stated clearly. “Is Naruto. Not the nine-tails, not Kyuubi, not demon or monster or any of those things. His name is Uzumaki Naruto. And knowing that this mission might protect him makes my the choice I have made so much simpler to handle, because now I know I will be protecting him even if I am far away from him.” Kakashi surprised everyone in the room including himself with his words, taking a few deep breaths to calm down. “Now then, tell me all I need to know in detail,” he said, sitting down.

~xXx~

“Do you want some ramen?” Iruka asked Naruto. He realized that by now there must have been so many people asking the blonde how he was feeling that it must be tiring, so he’d brought the boy’s favorite food.

“Thank you,” Naruto said as the brunette handed him a steaming styrofoam cup. “I’m starving, you’re awesome, Iruka!” The chunin smiled and laughed, happy to see the joy on his “little brother’s” face. The boy sure had enough to worry about, so even just a tiny break should do him good.

“You’re welcome,” he said, watching Naruto eat the noodles at inhuman pace. “If you keep eating at that rate you’ll be out of here in no time, unless you die from choking on a noodle, that is!” He wanted to know how the blonde was really doing, but he knew that he wouldn’t just tell him even if he asked, so instead he’d try to lighten the boy’s mood a little and make the day a little brighter. Naruto, who had somehow managed to finish the instant-ramen already, set the cup down on his nightstand and looked up at Iruka, thinking of something to say.

“So… How are you and Shizune doing?” He asked happily, having no clue what had happened. A pang of guilt and worry washed over him when he saw Iruka’s expression change into the saddest he had ever seen, and he could see that there were tears in the brunette’s eyes. “What’s happened, Iruka?” he questioned, his former teacher taking a while to breathe before he answered.

“She’s dead.” He mumbled, drying his eyes with his sleeve. He didn’t want to mention the part about Sasuke and his minions’ involvement, so he said no more.

“I’m so sorry, Iruka!” Naruto apologized frantically, “Gods, are you ok? What happened?”

“I’m fine…” the brunette said, hopelessly drying the tears that kept falling. “She… It was…” He just couldn’t bring himself to say what had really happened, so when there was a knock on the door he couldn’t have been happier. “I’ll get it,” he managed to get out, turning his back to the worried blonde on the bed.

When he opened the door he was surprised to find Sakura standing there, telling him Tsunade had sent her to check up on Naruto. She failed to noticed the sadness in his eyes. ‘Good,’ he though, and walked straight into the room and over to Naruto.

“I’ll be leaving now, Naruto. I’ll stop by later” Iruka said, and Naruto waved meekly at him as Sakura began inspecting his vitals. ‘What the hell has happened’? Naruto thought to himself, making a mental note to ask either Jiraiya or Kakashi, whoever he saw first of the two.

~xXx~

“Fuck it.” Tsunade said resting a hand on her desk, and Jiraiya shook his head. He couldn’t believe the council, that ancient couple of idiots.

“They’re just gonna send him away for an undecided period of time some undecided day not far from now when that kid need him the most?” He asked in disbelief, just to get the idiocy of it confirmed.

“Yes.” The blonde woman said angrily, shaking her fist in the air. “I can’t believe them, they’re so… If Kakashi is gone for long I don’t know if Naruto can handle it, he needs him.”

“I know,” Jiraiya wondered why they couldn’t just send him, but assumed it had something to do with their hatred of the Kyuubi. “Those fucking idiots. I’d happily go in his place, but somehow I doubt they’d let me even if I suggested it just because they want to torture him, those bastards…”

“I know,” Tsunade agreed, her voice followed by silence…a very long silence.

“What more did they say?” Jiraiya asked, knowing there had to be more. That silence had meant something.

“Nothing…” Tsunade said evasively, she didn’t really want to speak about it.

“Tsu-chan, I can tell it’s more than nothing. What did they say?” He could see right through her, but then again that was something he could always do.

“They said that… They said that I obviously still couldn’t handle bloody situations. That what happened with Shizune and Dan was the same thing, and they implied that it was my fault…” Jiraiya could see that toll that their words had taken on her, and he put his arms around her for a brief hug before letting her go again.

“Let’s get to the paperwork about this fucked up day, shall we?” he asked her, pouring each of them a glass of Sake.

“It has to be dealt with sooner of later,” she replied, sighing. The fun of endless paper forms commenced as they both thought about other things.

~xXx~

Ibiki twisted Sasuke’s arm in an inhuman angle, and if the boy didn’t have such insane control over himself he would have screamed out in pain. The interrogation has started out not so bad, but the teen was so stubborn he wouldn’t give away anything without Ibiki having to resort to drastic measures. Not that the interrogator at all minded torturing the Uchiha.

“Are you going to tell me why the fuck you came back to Konoha?” He asked for the millionth time, screaming the words into Sasuke’s soon-to-be deaf ear.

“No.” The Uchiha retorted stubbornly, biting his lower lip as he could feel the bones in his arm about to snap.

“Why. The. Fuck. Did. You. Come. Back. To. Konoha?” Ibiki barked at him. “Was it to take over the city?” he asked, and the raven merely snorted. “Was it to mess with peoples minds,” This time the Uchiha smirked maliciously, as if he were proud of himself. “Was it for Naruto, huh? Did you come back here just to fuck him and mess him up?” The raven twitched ever-so-slightly, and he had the answer he knew he would eventually get. The boy was more fucked up than could be put into words.

“What the fuck is wrong with you, you fucking fucked up asshole? You come back to your home-town which has outlawed you just to fuck up your former teammate and best friend? Or did you have more business too? Was he just a perk?” Ibiki twisted Sasuke’s arm so far it snapped, and the raven couldn’t contain his growl when the pain of his arm breaking hit him. Ibiki smirked inside; the bastard deserved every single bit of pain inflicted on him.

“Do you want an answer?” The bastard Uchiha spit out, blood dripping from mouth after an earlier round of Ibiki pounding his face and abdomen. “Do you want to know why I came back?” He continued, well aware that he wasn’t making his situation any better. Oh what the hell, he would sure be sentenced to death at any rate.

“In fact,” Ibiki hit Sasuke’s head so hard it instantly bruised and the boy could barely sit up straight any longer. “I do.” He hit him once more, but this time much weaker so that they boy wouldn’t get the pleasure of fainting.

“I came back,” Sasuke had to stop to cough, spitting out some blood in the process. “I came back to fuck Naruto. He is the best fuckI have ever had, and I swear I’ve had many. Nothing could ever compare to his body beneath mine, struggling to get free even though he knows he wants me…”

‘Holy crap, this kid is so much more fucked up than I imagined,’ Ibiki thought to himself.

“Well, and to plan a take-over of Konoha, of course, but mostly to fuck him. I missed that tight ass of his so fucking much.”

“That’s it,” Ibiki said, pulling the teen up from the chair he was slumped over. “You are so fucking messed up, Uchiha. I hope you die a slow, painful death.” Ibiki walked out of the room and handed Sasuke over to the two ANBU standing by the door. “He just came back because he’s a bastard,” he said. “Tell them that for now, and I’ll give a report tomorrow.”

Everything went black for Sasuke as he saw Ibiki’s back disappear in the distance, and he fainted into a world full of darkness and pain.

~xXx~

Naruto and Kakashi had been sitting in silence for a while, Naruto too tired to speak and Kakashi not knowing how to bring the bad news, but he finally decided to speak knowing he would have to sooner or later.

“Naruto,” the blonde turned his attention from somewhere inside his head and to his lover, smiling. “I have something to tell you…” It was easy to tell from the man’s voice that the news were bad, and even though Naruto braced himself mentally he still couldn’t help but start shaking when he heard Kakashi tell him that he would have to leave for an uncertain amount of time sometime soon.

“Please, don’t leave me,” he pleaded with the silver haired male, but to no avail as they both knew.

“I have to go, koi. I wish I didn’t, but I have no real choice…” Seeing the fear in Naruto’s eyes was heartbreaking to Kakashi, and hearing the whimpering noises he made only contributed to making him feel like a monster for the fact that he would have to leave the boy.

“I’m so, so sorry, Naruto...” He cupped the blondes face and looked into his eyes for a long time, stilling the boy. “I love you,” He said, then kissed the blonde in hopes of ridding his mind of at least some of the things going through it to give his lover some room to breathe.

Random Rambling: I'm SO SORRY for the wait you guys - thank you for sticking with me! I had a block, and when I first got the ideas I just had NO time what so ever. But hey, I finally finished it. I have a whole bunch of mock exams coming up, which count for like 50% of my grade, and I have to study for them and shit, but I'll try and get new chapters up for you a little faster, promise.

Now, PLEASE do tell me what you think. I need to know.
I think this story will be coming to an end soon, but I am not entirely sure. What do you think I should do?