Disclaimer: (insert witty disclaimer here, about not owning Naruto… possibly mention a barrel of stoned monkeys and eggnog- they’re always funny)

Several months after the first chapter. You’ll see why. Suggestive, but doesn’t go anywhere near there! Firmly T-rated.

--It’s a real border in my heart!--

Who to call, who to call, who to call?

She couldn’t call Sakura; she was on a mission… with Sasuke.

She couldn’t call Hinata; she was currently on lockdown because she got really angry at Hiashi-sama for belittling Naruto.

Tenten was out on a date with Neji right now, so she was out of the question.

Ino was, to put it bluntly, bored out of her wicked little skull. Even her brain seemed to be working against her. She’d catch wisps of ideas, but they’d float away again immediately, as if taunting her.

Suddenly an unguarded thought crossed her mind, like a little butterfly, and she pounced with her net.

She grinned. Perfect.

The Nara compound wasn’t far from her shop, and she knew the way blindfolded. And un-blindfolded, which was less silly, but still…

Reaching into her bag and pulling out a handheld camera, she pointed it at herself, set her hair straight, and began recording.

“This is Yamanaka Ino reporting for “Diary of a Lazy Ass,” starring Nara Shikamaru-kun, the world’s biggest one.”

Giggling with glee, she jumped behind a bush as the door slid open, revealing a bored-looking ‘Maru with his hands in his pockets. He scowled at the outside world, presumably sent out by his ‘troublesome’ mother, and set off down the path, Ino suppressing her chakra as she followed him.

“Where will Shika-kun go today?” Ino wondered aloud as she pointed the camera at him.

Up ahead, Shikamaru turned a corner, heading down a path unfamiliar to Ino. Now she was really stoked. Could he really be going, as the signs hanging around indicated, to the red-light district?

“Could Shikamaru-kun be a closet uber-pervert? Find out now!”

He was stopping. A brief pause, and then another turn. Ino followed quickly, to find… a grassy field.

“A possible pit-stop for the Nara?”

She dived into some bushes and waited it out, camera poised and at the ready for any drastic events that may occur.

Three hours. Three hours! Ino had been sitting in this bush for three hours, and Shikamaru had not moved since. Her clothes were scratched from the sharp twigs and she was thoroughly annoyed.

“Grr… It’s no fun stalking you if you don’t move, you lazy bum!”

She immediately clapped her hand over her mouth.

“Oh. Oh shit.”

Hiding the camera behind her back, she scrambled to put the lens-cap on, forgetting to turn the recording off. The screen went blank, but the following conversation was captured all too well.

“Ino…”

“Shikamaru-kun, I was boooored!”

“I know what can help.”

“H-hi, this is Chouji here, and I’m glad that this lens-cap is on because you really don’t want to see what’s going on.”

A rumbling as the camera is lifted up, followed by moans and noises that would make the great Jiraiya spout colossal amounts of blood.

Later still. Ino remembered the camera and collected it from the bush. Suddenly she noted that, although the cap was on, the red ‘record’ light was firmly lit.

“Oh, snap. Shika-kun! We just made audio porn!”