The Girl Who Sold The World

Chapter Three

The Doctor had called out Rose’s name but the words had not registered within her mind, instead they sunk away barely even touching her ears as she focused on her mother. She ran her forefingers over and over upon the soft skin of her mothers’ hand. The skin was drawn tightly over the bones beneath and an unsightly needle protruding into the skin attached to a drip which fed Jackie the essential nutrients she was missing.

The Doctor watched her silently, his back pressed again the warm beige wall of the hospital room, his hands were folded behind his back as he watched over Rose. Her pretty face drawn into a deep frown caused his heart to ache with a pain that he didn’t know existed. He longed to draw her into his arms and promise her everything would be alright, but he knew that he needed to let Rose be with his mother. So instead he stood silently slightly away from her, ever aware of the domesticity which linked her to her mother – the same one that created a barrier between them of emotions the Doctor could never experience.

Rose was silent for several moments before turning her head to glance over at the Doctor. Her hazel eyes were glassy in the dull light as tears threatened to overspill down her porcelain cheeks. The Doctor gave her a small reassuring smile but she did not respond.

The only hint of daylight was the weak rays of sunlight which bled through the clouds which dappled the sky. The thin rays fell upon the stilled body of Jackie, revealing the pale skin which covered her body. Beside her the light lit the eyes of Rose revealing the dark shadows that haunted them. Leaning heavily against the wall stood the Doctor’s form, his eyes held a world of worry which was cloaked by the mask he wore upon his face. He’d stood silently throughout the night listening to the soft promises that left his companions mouth as she spoke to her mother, each one breaking his heard.

The footsteps echoing down the silent hall acted as a warning so that he could stand up and cross the small room. He placed his hands upon her shoulders, the heavy weight acting as a comfort to her. As the doors opened she didn’t rise, instead she kept one hand against Jackie’s cold palm and she raised the other to intertwine with the Doctor’s as a silent comfort. The doctors walked in, their white cloaks blowing after them as they entered the room, they gave a small cough to announce their presence, but it did little to reduce the tension.

Rose raised her eyes which were heavy with worry, she barely had the energy to speak, her eyes weighted with questions as the Doctor spoke.

“Any news?”, his voice was soft within the hollow room within the hospital. The doctors opened a beige file, x-rays and scans creating images like abstract artwork. The Doctor’s eye fell instantly to the file within their hands; he stared questioningly at them as he tightened his grip on Rose’s hand. The doctors stepped forward, the artwork falling from their folders and becoming vital messages. They began to lay the pictures out along the foot of the bed covering Jackie’s feet. The Doctor could feel Rose tense under his hands as a cold rage burned through him.

“No”. The word was quiet but the power emitting from the Time Lord struck the room.

“Excuse me?” the words were also quiet however an edge of fear could be heard upon them. The Doctor stood, reluctantly releasing Rose before stalking around the bed, his eyes hard in the early light like that of a predator stalking its’ pray.

“No”. He repeated again, “Jackie is not a table”. His words were low and escaped from his throat as a deep growl causing the other man to step back slightly.

“Ah yes, sorry Sir” they said softly, the darkness in his eyes chilling deep within them. They quickly picked up their paperwork, scattering it over the near by table. Rose raised her eyes and gave a half smile in gentle thanks to the Doctor who just nodded in recognition giving her a smile that warmed her soul.

The medical staff seemed to have recovered from the paralysis induced by fear, and seemed to full back into their professions. They laid out diagrams and photos of Jackie’s body, like a map drawn out by a cartographer. Rose took a deep breath in, her mother laid out as a series of lines and colours.

“We’ve found a lump”

“A tumour?” Rose instantly replied, the first words she’d spoken since the men had entered the room. The Doctor had moved back round the bed to stand beside Rose again, her fingers were now digging into his as a very obvious fear pulsated through her.

“We’re not certain; however we need to take her straight to surgery”.

Rose fell silent, a thousand questions forming in her mind as she struggled to breathe. The Doctor squeezed her hand softly reminding her of his presence.

“Where is it?” he asked softly gesturing at Jackie’s form, his words now soft, slightly laced with fear. The men gathered around the scans and pointed to a white mass, it looked alien within the blackness of her body

“It’s on her patella”

“Her what?” Rose asked, her voice suddenly angry at herself.

“Her knee” the Doctor said softly trying to placate her but it only acted to aggravate her.

“We’re going to have to take her now” they said gesturing to people who waited outside the door.

“But…wait” Rose stumbled on her words, still in shock over the sudden news. “Wait”. Her voice gained strength now as she stood

“Wait, you’re not answering my questions”. The Doctor released her hand slightly, relived that her feistiness was returning.

“Ah. Sorry Miss Tyler” the men stumbled before they looked pointedly at her.

“Is it cancer?” her voice cracked as the word left her mouth, she faltered slightly but remained staring at them.

“We don’t know, we’ll take a biopsy for the lab”. She nodded slightly

“Can I say goodbye to her?” she asked softly with tears in her eyes.

“We’ll give you a moment” they replied as they stopped just outside of the room.

The Doctor stepped back giving Rose a moment, momentarily stunned by the pain in his companions’ eyes. Rose leant forward so that her forehead rested against Jackie’s head; she closed her eyes momentarily as a thousand memories flashed through her mind, each one causing her more pain.

“I’m sorry” she whispered against her mother’s cold skin, “I’m so sorry”.

The doors to the room opened causing Rose to start; she glanced back to the porters before returning her gaze to her mother.

“I love you” she choked as she stood; pressing a kiss to her forehead. Rose stood back against the wall and watched as her mother was wheeled away from her, she couldn’t help but feel that this may be the last time she would ever see her mother.

Soon the room was empty again, Rose stood against one wall and the Doctor against the other. He watched her from across the room, almost afraid to speak. He heard her sigh heavily and offered her a lopsided smile.

“You okay?” he asked her softly. She raised her eyes to meet his and as she shook her head, the raw honest in them breaking him. By the time he’d reached her side the tears had begun to fall, they slid from her tired eyes and fell onto her exhausted cheeks. There were no words to be said; instead he wrapped her against him, his arms acting as an anchor as she was pressed into his chest. Her tears created long tracks down his shirt as she buried her face into him, her fists clenched into his jacked creating little ball of creases. The Doctor raised his hand to rhythmically stroke her hair, the blonde strands thin between his fingers. They stood that was for what could have been forever, gently rocking as the Doctor absorbed the exhausted sobs that escaped Rose’s throat. Eventually she raised her head to meet the Doctor’s eyes, her face was haunted. He raised his hand to gently wipe away the tracks of her tears, the palm of his hand lingering against her cheek. His fingertips gently stroked her skin as he studied her face, silently urging her to speak.

“It’s my fault” she squeaked, the emotion on her voice distorting it.

“What?” he asked flabaghast, of all the things he’d expected to hear, this was not it.

“She’s been on her own” her words fell quickly from her mouth, slightly haunted by tears.

“For two years she’s been alone, if I hadn’t…if we’d…if I’d visited more often, I might have found her sooner”. The Doctor listened to her words, a slight frown covering his forehead.

“Rose, it wouldn’t have made a difference” he began to reassure her but she cut him off,

“You’re saying if I hadn’t of come with you, my mother would still be dying”. The Doctor fell silent; his hand fell from her cheek as her bitter words stung him.

“You’re saying you wish you never came?” he asked softly, the weight of the world on the question, yet he feared the answer.

“That’s not what I’m saying” she murmured, raising her gaze from the floor to meet his intense eyes.

“Just…if I hadn’t been so caught up in this, in you, if we hadn’t been so selfish…could things have been different?”.

The Doctor looked at her, his hearts nearly frozen by fear yet pounding so hard,

“So if I took you back to the day we met, and I asked you to come away with me, with you knowing everything to come, would you still say yes?”.

Rose held his gaze for a moment before moving her gaze down

“I dunno” she said softly. The Doctor flinched as if he’d been struck, he instantly recovered but his eyes still swirled with pain. He raised his hand again as though he was going to touch her cheek, instead he paused, his hand millimetres from her face. He took in a deep breath and walked away from her, his face remaining a still mask as he walked.

Rose watched him leave and felt her heart shatter, she fell into her chair as tears streamed down her face and sobs wrecked her features. She sobbed quietly into her hands having regretted the words the moment they left her mouth. She sat alone beside her mother’s empty bed as the sun rose over the hospital, even the bright rays couldn’t light the darkened chambers of her heart which ached from not only losing Jackie, but losing the Doctor as well.