Thanks to campy, Bori Yeltsin, captainkodak1, Mr. Wizard, Michael Howard, whitem, Comet Moon, Josh84, Samurai Crunchbird, daywalkr82, screaming phoenix, Drakonis Aurous, Eddy13, Quathis, Danny-171984, Donteatacowman, Katsumara, bigherb81, CajunBear73, neithan, TexasDad, Molloy, and Binkmeister for reviewing and to everyone for reading.

Many thanks to special guest proofreader Molloy.

Leave a review and I’ll send a response.

KP © Disney.

I.

Drakken, fueled by an impotent rage with which he was all too familiar from long experience – or lack thereof – in the realm of dating, where his record was similar to that in his chosen vocation of world conquest, muttered in frustration to himself. He had accepted that Barbara Ella would not be accompanying him to his mother’s Seder and that other, less palatable options like the one before him – the Be Be, Version 1.0, had to be considered. True, a boxy, awkward robot wasn’t the ideal solution to his problem, but it was preferable to letting Mama Lipsky set him up on a date. And, the Be Be, despite her manifold faults, was blue, so at least he and his companion would match.

The only problem was he couldn’t get his college-days creation to power up.

“Stupid power cell,” he grumbled as he attached it to his Volt-o-meter, only to discover the unit was dead. “I knew I should have had Shego steal those experimental batteries from Dementor’s lab.” He tossed the useless part onto his workbench and looked darkly towards the door. “Maybe she’ll deign to snatch some for me when she gets back from her Girls Only Party.” Then he looked at his watch. “Hmm. I wonder where they are?”

As if on cue, the door opened (making a whooshing sound that Senor Senior, Senior would have found most satisfying) and his lippy sidekick walked in.

Drakken’s jaw dropped.

The blue-skinned mad scientist found himself struggling to regain the power of speech. After all, it wasn’t every day that one saw one of the world’s most dangerous women dressed in a chicken suit.

“Hello, Doctor Drakken,” she said in a syrupy monotone.

Drakken stared in disbelief.

“Um, Shego,” he finally stammered. “Why are you dressed that way?”

“Because Kim Possible told me to put on this suit. She also said I should dance for you.”

Much to Drakken’s surprise, Shego began doing the chicken dance.

“Stop it,” he ordered after watching her flap her wings for a few most awkward moments. “You’re freaking me out!”

“Yes, Doctor Drakken,” Shego said as she stopped dancing. “Would you like to tell me stories about your childhood?”

“Okay, something’s wrong here,” he said as he looked at Shego through narrowed eyes. It was then that he noticed the mind control chip on the forehead of his famously sarcastic associate. Not surprisingly, it occurred to the good (or not so good) doctor that a potential solution to his dinner date conundrum had just presented itself. However, almost as soon as he had that thought he recalled being chased through the jungle by an irate Shego the last time he availed himself of a mind-control driven opportunity. With a sigh, he reached up and removed the chip. After all, suffering from Shego’s wrath was one of the few things worse than enduring his mother’s kvetching.

“Thanks,” she said, glad to be freed from the device’s effects.

“You’re welcome,” he replied. “Where’s Barbara?”

“Gone,” Shego said.

“Gone? What do you mean ‘gone’?”

“As in she decided it was time to be a free agent.”

“But what about the IDIOT?”

Shego resisted the temptation to say something snarky. “She took it.”

“Unreliable clones,” he groused. “Now, not only do I not have a date for Mother’s Seder, I have been deprived of the one thing I needed to take over the world.”

“At least you didn’t have to do the chicken dance,” Shego said, looking down at her suit. “Princess is going to pay for this.” When she looked back up she saw Drakken heading out of the lab. “Hey, Doc, where are you going?”

“To the kitchen,” he replied without looking at her.

“The kitchen?” she asked.

“Yes,” he said, turning to look at his colleague, who couldn’t help but notice the air of defeat that enveloped him. “How familiar are you with the Passover Seder?”

“Not very,” Shego admitted. “We didn’t exactly have many of those at St. Ag’s when I was growing up.”

“Well, one part of the Seder involves asking the Four Questions. One is ‘why is this night different than any other?’”

“So?”

“So, Shego,” Drakken snapped, “Once again, this night won’t be any different than any other. I, Doctor Drakken, am once again without a date or a GF which means that once again I will be subjected to disappointment-laden lectures and, quite possibly, arranged dates courtesy of Mother.”

“Sounds harsh,” Shego observed.

“Don’t you know it,” he said, turning back to the kitchen. “That’s why it’s time for the doctor to drown his woes in some cocoa moo.”

II.

Tara was already seated when Kim arrived at Bueno Nacho. Now that she’d admitted her feelings for Ron, the teen hero felt a pang of jealousy and a flash of anger when she saw that the blonde was sitting in what Kim thought of as her and Ron’s booth. She took a deep breath to settle herself, then approached her fellow cheerleader. “Hi, Tara.”

“Hi, Kim,” she replied, looking up.

Kim noticed that Tara didn’t have a drink or any food as she sat down. Before she could ask her friend whether she wanted anything to eat, the blonde turned and gazed out the window, leaving the two teens to sit in uncomfortable silence.

Finally, Tara returned her gaze to Kim, who noticed the tears on her friend’s cheeks. “It isn’t going to work,” the blonde said softly. “As much as I want it to, it just won’t.”

Kim sat quietly, sensing Tara would elaborate on her cryptic statement.

“Grandma said I deserved someone who was fully devoted to me. I so wanted that person to be Ron.”

Kim gulped. As much as she wanted Ron to be her BF, she hated the idea that she was coming between him and Tara. “You know, Tara, after the mission he told me you were a ‘bon-diggity girlfriend’.”

Tara smiled wistfully. “I’m sure he did. But that didn’t stop him from rushing off to save you, did it?”

The question surprised Kim. “Did that bother you?”

“No,” Tara said. “Well, yes, in a way. Don’t get me wrong. You’re my friend and you do so much to help so many people. I didn’t want you to get hurt.”

“But,” Kim offered.

“But why couldn’t someone else go save you? Why does it have to be Ron? Why does he have to be the one who goes on those missions with you? Sometimes I hate those villains so much because if it weren’t for them, you two wouldn’t be so close.”

“Excuse me?” Kim asked, confused.

Tara shot Kim a dismissive look that would have done Bonnie proud. “Don’t tell me that if you and Ron were just two normal teens you’d still be so tight.”

“Why wouldn’t we be?” Kim replied. “We’ve been tight since Pre-K.”

“I know,” Tara said. “Long ago you were just two kids who lived next door to one another. But you became a cheerleader who’s popular, beautiful—”

“News flash, Tara: you’re a popular, beautiful cheerleader, too.”

“But I’m not a leader and I’m not smart, not the way you are,” the blonde countered. “And Ron, while he’s sweet, is weird, dresses funny, and, well …”

“So marches to his own very private drummer.”

“Yeah,” Tara agreed.

Kim sighed, then looked out the window to consider her response. Then she looked Tara in the eye. “Confession time: Yes, I’ve been caught up in the Food Chain. Yes, I can worry about what people say about me. And, yes, Ron’s been such the embarrassment at times. So maybe what you say is true. I hope it isn’t. But, thankfully, I’ll never know because Ron and I do save the world and so I have had the chance to see beneath that messy head of hair. Do you know what I like most about Ron?”

Tara shook her head.

“Saving the world is my thing. I know he’d rather stay at home and play Zombie Mayhem or go out with you. But for some inexplicable reason, he insists on coming along and having my back.”

Tara snorted.

“What?”

“Kim, the reason he goes out with you on those missions is because he loves you.”

“Excuse me?”

Tara chuckled. “You heard me. Ron loves you. Oh, I doubt he knows it. But now that I look back on everything, it’s so clear. I may be his girlfriend, but you’re his world.”

“This is so the drama,” Kim said as she considered Tara’s observation.

“You can say that again,” Tara said. “So, be honest with me: how do you feel about Ron.”

“I like him. A lot. I think I may love him,” Kim said. “But,” she added hastily, “I am so not going to try to break you two up. That’s not who I am.”

With more equanimity than Kim expected, Tara reached across the table and took Kim’s hands in hers. “You don’t have to.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m breaking up with Ron,” Tara said.

“Tara, you don’t—”

“Yes, I do,” the blonde said. “Remember what my Grandma said to me: I need someone who can give his whole heart to me. That’s not Ron. Though he can be that person for you.”

“I don’t know what to say,” Kim responded.

“Say you’ll tell him how you feel,” Tara said.

Kim blushed.

“What?”

“I already did,” she mumbled.

“When?”

“When Ron came to save me. You see …” Kim proceeded to tell Tara about the entire mission, clone, chicken suit, confessions and all. “So,” she concluded, “It’s in Ron’s hands now.”

“I see,” Tara said as a mischievous grin spread across her face. “Now that’s so the drama.”

Kim arched an eyebrow. “Understatement much?”

The two girls smiled, then began to laugh.

“I don’t know about you,” Kim said. “But I am so hungry.”

“Me too,” Tara said. “Let’s get something to eat.”

As they walked over to the counter, Tara put her hand on Kim’s shoulder. “There’s something else I need to say.”

“Okay,” Kim said.

“If you ever do anything to hurt Ron, you’ll have to answer to me.”

Kim knew from the look in Tara’s eyes that the blonde was not speaking lightly. “You’re something else, Tara.”

Tara bristled. “I may not be Shego, Kim, but I’ll find a way to make you pay.”

Kim waved her hands. “You so misunderstood me,” she said. “I believe you. What I meant was that you’re pretty incredible, Tara. If Ron decides he wants to date me, you’ll be one tough act to follow.”

III.

“Badical breakfast burrito bonanza?” Kim asked archly as she and Ron made their way down the path from her house to the sidewalk.

“Sorry,” Ron said with a shrug. “While I’m normally all about your Mom’s pancakes, I, uh, kind of wanted to talk.”

The normally unflappable, tough as nails, steel-nerved Kim Possible suddenly felt butterflies rampaging inside her stomach. “Okay.”

Ron took a deep breath. “This is really hard,” he said. He stopped and looked Kim in the eyes. “KP, our friendship is the most important thing in the world to me. I don’t know what I’d do if it tanked and you wound up hating me …”

Kim felt crushed as she realized that Ron was giving her the ‘Let’s Just Be Friends’ speech.

“… But if I don’t take this chance, I’ll regret this for the rest of my life.”

“What are you saying, Ron?”

“I like you, Kim. Heck, I like you a lot. And while being best friends with you is cool, I, uh, I want to be more than that.”

“Even though I said all those things?”

“Yeah,” Ron replied. “Look, I, uh, know this is kind of awkward and I have to talk with Tara and maybe we should take things kind of slow, but would you, well, you know, maybe be, uh, you know, my …”

“I’d love to be your girlfriend,” Kim said helpfully and with enthusiasm.

“Badical!” Ron replied, earning a broad smile from Kim. “So, uh, then about a first date,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck. “How about this weekend?”

“Well, we’ve got cheer Regionals on Saturday. So how about Friday?”

“Friday would be cool,” Ron said. Then he slapped his forehead.

“What?” Kim asked.

“This weekend’s Passover,” he explained. “We have the Seder on Friday so it looks like no date for the Rondo.”

“Unless the Rondo invites his new GF to the Stoppable Family Seder,” Kim suggested.

“You sure, KP? Even I know that’s not standard first date fare.”

Kim snorted. “Like I’d expect that from Mr. Never Be Normal.”

“Touché,” he said. “Though now that I think about it, there’s a pretty badical reason for you to be there.”

“You need my sixteen kinds of kung fu to keep your cousin Shawn in line?”

“Well, yeah, but I was actually thinking of something else.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah. Remember how during the Seder, we ask why is this night different from all other nights? ”

“You mean the four questions?” said Kim, having attended the Passover meal at the Stoppables’ in years past was familiar with the features of the Seder.

“Yeah,” Ron said as he cupped Kim’s face in his hands, “Well, this year, I guess I can answer that my best friend is my girlfriend.”

Kim smiled. “Spankin’” she said as she brought her lips to Ron’s.

IV.

“Hey.”

Tara looked up from her lunch to see Josh. “Hi.”

“Mind if I join you?”

“Sure.”

“How are you doing?”

Tara shrugged. “I’m okay,” she answered. “It was the right thing to do.” She added as she saw Kim and Ron walk out of the cafeteria holding hands. “You were right: they do belong together.”

Josh nodded and the two teens sat in awkward silence for a moment. Then he spoke. “I enjoyed our movie and trip to Mr. Fudgie’s when Kim and Ron were on that mission.”

“I did, too,” she agreed.

“So, I was wondering if you’d like to go to Spring Fling with me.”

Tara cocked an eyebrow at Josh and frowned. “I don’t think so.”

“Huh?”

“Just because you were right about them doesn’t mean I’m not angry with you, Josh Mankey.”

“You’re angry with me?”

“If you didn’t notice, I no longer have a BF.”

“But you just said …”

“Just because it was the right thing to let Ron go and just because I’m happy for him doesn’t mean that I’m happy with the way things turned out and they wouldn’t have turned out that way if you hadn’t opened your big mouth.” Tara rose from her seat and took her tray. “Have a nice day,” she said icily, leaving Josh to watch in stunned disappointment as she stalked off.

V.

“You should really learn how to tie a real bow-tie,” Shego said as Drakken adjusted his clip on. “It impresses the ladies every time.”

“Thanks for the advice,” Drakken snapped as he finished dressing for his mother’s Seder. He grimaced as he contemplated the upcoming evening. He was about to start ranting when he then noticed that Shego wasn’t wearing her signature black and green jumpsuit but was instead wearing a stylish green dress. “Off to a night of clubbing?” he asked acidly, his resentment building as he reflected on how his sidekick would be having fun while he was listening to his mother drone on about her friends’ precocious grandchildren.

“Actually, I’m going to dinner,” she said as she leaned against the doorjamb.

“Lucky you,” he said peevishly.

“Aren’t you going to ask me where?” she asked.

Drakken turned and glared at her. “No,” he said. “In case you forgot, I’m about to suffer through yet another one of Mother’s rants about my lack of a love life. Listening to you talk about your plans for the evening would just be sticking a pin it.”

Shego nodded in understanding, then said, “Too bad. I’m telling you anyway.” Before Drakken could protest she declared. “I’m going with you.”

“Well, goodie for you …” he sneered before he stopped. “Did you say you’re going with me?”

Shego grinned wickedly at Drakken. Her expression softened, however, as she was done toying with her boss. “Yeah, I did.”

“Why? You’re not playing me, are you?”

Shego shook her head. “I know how badly Mama Lipsky busts your chops,” she said. “So it wouldn’t have surprised me if you’d just left that chip on me and made me go as your date. But you didn’t.”

“No,” he said. “I didn’t. Mind you, I didn’t forget how you hurt me after the last time.”

“You deserved it,” Shego said. “I still can’t believe you told me to look for a dodo.”

“You’d have done the same in my shoes,” Drakken said loftily.

“Yeah, right,” she shot back. “Puh-leeze.”

“Five words, Shego: Kim Possible in a chicken suit.”

“That’s six,” Shego countered as she bristled. “Besides, that was the clone’s idea.”

“Nuh uh uh,” Drakken said, waggling his finger. “You were the boss, she was the sidekick. You were responsible.”

“Fine, whatever,” Shego said with a dismissive roll of the eyes. “Look, I don’t care why you took off the chip. You did and I appreciated that. This is my way of saying ‘thanks’.”

Drakken sighed. “Thank you, but I don’t think Mother’s going to let me off the hook just because I brought my assistant.”

Shego snorted. “That’s right, you do a radio show, don’t you?”

“Mock me all you want,” he said huffily. He was surprised when Shego took his hands in hers.

“I wasn’t planning on going as your assistant. I’m going as your date.”

“What?” he yelped.

“You have a problem with that?” she said dangerously.

“N-no,” he sputtered. “I’m just surprised, considering the nature of our relationship.”

“You mean the professional aspect or the way I’m always ragging on you?”

“The latter.”

Shego nodded. “Thank Kimmie.”

“What do you mean?”

“When I was wearing that chip, she didn’t just make me play dress up. She forced me to confront how I felt about you.”

“And, er, how do you feel about me?” he asked nervously.

“Truthfully? I don’t know,” she said with a shrug. “But this seemed like as good a time as any to find out.”

Drakken paused, then nodded. “I see. Well, if we are potentially changing the nature of our relationship, we should do this right.” The blue-skinned villain extended his arm. “Come, Shego, we must hurry.”

“Anxious to get to Momma Lispky’s now that you’ve got a date?” she asked, looping her arm through is.

“Not at all,” he said as he shook his head. “This seems like an excellent time to go to the mall to steal a new bow-tie.”

“Doctor D?”

“Yes, Shego?” he responded while preening, his chest puffed out.

“Don’t push it,” she advised.

Drakken looked at her and nodded meekly. “You know, Shego,” he said, “the clip on bow tie is the preferred neckwear of truly debonair evil geniuses.”

Shego cocked an eyebrow and smirked at Drakken. Then she smiled, reached up and adjusted his tie.

“Shego?”

“Just making sure you look good for Mama Lipsky,” she gibed before adding in an unexpectedly sultry voice, “And your date.”

Drakken’s eyes opened wide. His knees buckled. Then he fainted.

VI.

“Tara?”

The blonde turned and saw a slightly built young man who wore glasses and had messy brown hair. She noticed that while he wasn’t a textbook definition of ‘hottie heaven’ he had cute dimples. He also looked vaguely familiar. At first she couldn’t place his face but then she thought she recognized him.

“Kevin?” she replied, hoping she’d just offered the correct name. His smile told her she had.

Kevin Guberman looked like he was about to say something. But he quickly grew flustered and found himself unable to speak.

“Is everything okay?” Tara asked, her words tinged with a note of concern.

“Yeah, it’s fine. It’s just that, you see …” he looked down at his shoes, took a deep breath, and forced himself to look her in the eye. “I was wondering if you’d like to go to Spring Fling with me,” he blurted out.

“You want to take me to the dance?” she asked, nonplussed.

Kevin appeared crestfallen. “I should have known a cheerleader wouldn’t go out with a nerdy chess—”

“I’d love to go to the dance with you,” she interjected.

“Really?”

“Yes,” she said.

“Wow,” he said. “That’s great! Maybe we could get some dinner beforehand?”

“I’d like that,” she replied.

“Cool,” Kevin said.

Tara couldn’t help but notice that he looked like a man who had just won the lottery. His evident excitement at going out with her pleased her.

“So, then, dinner and the dance,” Kevin said.

“Yes,” Tara confirmed. “You and me. Though I should warn you.”

“Warn me?”

“Since you’re captain of the chess club, I’ll have to be on my guard.”

“I don’t understand.”

“I’ll bet you’ve got all kinds of moves,” she said with a wink, causing Kevin to turn beet red.

“I – I,” he stammered as Tara, who realized she hadn’t felt this happy around a boy in a long time, began to giggle. Soon, he, too, was laughing.

VII.

Josh sat listlessly at the drafting table where he’d been drawing, his interest in his art now gone.

He hadn’t meant to eavesdrop, but Kevin had stopped Tara just outside of the studio in which he had been working on a project. As the conversation unfolded, he first felt a twinge of jealousy, then anger, then, finally, resignation. No longer able to concentrate, he gathered up his supplies and, after he was sure his classmates had moved on, left the room and joined the stream of students. He noticed Kim and Ron ahead, Ron grinning and gesticulating, Kim smirking and drawing closer to him. The two laughed, kissed, then parted ways with each waving to the other.

Josh stood, lost in thought. He couldn’t help but remember what it had been like for Kim to give him a buss on the cheek before they headed their separate ways. And he couldn’t help but recall that as much fun as they’d had together, her eyes had never sparkled the way they did now that she was dating her lifelong best friend. Josh sighed, wondering if he’d ever have that kind of relationship with someone, then looked at his watch and realized he needed to hurry back to his locker to get his books if he wasn’t going to be late to his next class. He turned to go – and immediately collided with someone, sending her books flying.

“Sorry ’bout that, Penny,” he said sheepishly when he saw who he’d bumped into.

“It’s okay, Josh,” she said as she began to bend down to pick up her texts.

“Let me get those,” he offered, kneeling down.

“You don’t have to,” she said.

“It’s no problem, really,” he replied as he helped her collect the errant volumes.

“Thanks,” she said after they’d picked up all of her books.

“You’re welcome,” he replied.

An awkward silence then ensued.

“Well, see you later,” she finally said.

“Yeah,” he agreed. The two teens began to head their separate ways when Josh stopped and called Penny’s name. She turned and waited as he walked over to her.

“So, I was wondering if you’d like to catch a movie this weekend?” he asked.

“Sounds like fun,” Penny replied, “but I’ve already got plans.”

“Oh,” he said, unable to hide his disappointment.

“But I am free for the Spring Fling,” she offered.

“Really,” Josh said with a rakish grin. “So am I.”

“Well, then, I think you ought to ask me to the dance,” she suggested with a warm, inviting smile.

VIII.

The broad-shouldered man, who had a sculpted chin, flaxen hair, powerful arms, and nimble fingers, surveyed the table, confirming that everything he needed to properly administer a top-drawer massage was at hand. Satisfied that he was indeed prepared, he walked to his desk and consulted his desk diary. He looked at the clock and knew that the spa’s new owner would be arriving at any moment.

“Good afternoon, Midas.”

The handsome masseur smiled at the blonde-haired woman who had entered his domain. She was tall and attractive, her Middle-American appearance leavened by an aura of power and determination.

“Good afternoon, Ms. Ella. Are you ready for your massage?”

“I sure am,” she said as she let her wrap drop, revealing a stylish one-piece swim suit, and lay down on the table.

“Excellent,” he replied. “Let’s begin with your shoulders …”

As she enjoyed Midas’s ministrations, Barbara reflected on how satisfied she was with her life. She was the sole owner of an exclusive Greek spa, something made possible by her raids on the commodity markets, and was the holder of a blanket grant of immunity from arrest and prosecution, provided by Global Justice in return for the IDIOT. She had, she hoped, helped Ronnie and Kimberly reevaluate their relationship while allowing Shego a chance to experience the burdens of responsibility.

As for Drakken, Barbara didn’t know what to think of the hapless villain. That she had been created merely so a social misfit could have a date was disturbing. The more she thought of it, the more she was bothered. It wasn’t long before she began to tense up. But then she realized that had Drakken not been so desperate, she wouldn’t be where she was. And so, reflecting on just how complicated love could be, Barbara Ella relaxed again, sighing in contentment as Midas worked his magic on her tired muscles.

The End.