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Warning: Not much in this chapter. A little language.

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Dream the End

Not Into It

A few days later, the Hub

Pushing the food around on her plate was enough to keep her distracted, and though the others chatted, including Steven’s latest skank whose voice was deep enough to be a man’s, Jackie didn’t hear the words. She kept her eyes on the fries and burger, the puddle of ketchup, the discarded pickles, all nearly completely untouched. It was better this way. She had nothing to say. And it didn’t seem to bother anyone, anyhow. She might as well be invisible.

She kind of wished she was.

She frowned. The skank wasn’t even Steven’s type. She was ugly, and had huge hips. Even Sam had been better looking, though equally if not more so slutty.

Out of the top of her eyes, she thought she noticed Steven and the tramp standing, thought she heard them saying something along the lines of “see you later”. And despite herself, she looked up and watched them head to the door. Steven opened the door and guided the alleged girl through it, a hand on her back, and Jackie’s stomach twisted. He used to do that for me. Sometimes. Mostly when no one else was around. A lot, then.

She shook her head. No matter. Luckily, a sharp elbow caught her side, and she looked to her right. “God, Donna, if you want my attention you could just say something instead of breaking my ribs.” She rubbed her side and rolled her eyes.

Donna snorted. “I said your name like three times,” she said, her voice rather snotty. “Anyway, do you want to go to the movies tonight?”

Jackie straightened her shoulders. She’d been forgetting lately, and slouching. Her mother would be ashamed. “I can’t. Fez and I have a date.” She hoped she wasn’t making a face. After Fez’s initial outpouring of roses and candy and romantic dinners, which lasted about a week, his idea of dates had gone to hell. Now, they went for walks, or hung out in the basement, or watched Michael fuss over his clothes and his hair and his daughter. And even when they went shopping, he never bought her anything. Never even let her buy herself anything, claiming excuses like rent and groceries and boring things.

She closed her eyes briefly. And then there were the other dates.

Shaking her head, she opened her eyes and looked at Donna. “So, sorry. Fez and I are going to be busy having a very romantic night together, unlike you and Eric, who will just be hanging out with Michael and Steven, I bet.”

Donna frowned, and Jackie wondered why she looked confused.

“Are you sure?”

Jackie rolled her eyes. “Of course I’m sure. Why wouldn’t I be sure?” She watched as Donna and Eric exchanged looks.

“I just thought Fez was going with us, tonight. Didn’t he tell you that, Eric?”

Jackie looked at Eric. He shrugged and looked at her not so apologetically.

“Yeah, he said that, but I’m sure he just forgot.” He grinned.

Jackie stood up, her stomach turning. Forgot? No one forgot Jackie Burkhart, with one notable exception, one that had just a few minutes ago left the Hub, and one she was not going to think about anymore, ever. “Whatever. We’re not going. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a beautiful night to go get ready for.” She put on her brightest smile and shook her hair off her shoulders. “Not that I need to do much to make myself more beautiful, but you know.” She glanced at Donna. “Donna, don’t you remember what I told you about plaid?” She shook her head and walked away, trying not to move as quickly as she wanted to.

When she got outside, she turned and looked in. Donna and Eric sat there, smiling at each other and seemingly not aware of anything except each other. She took a deep breath.

At least she was fooling them. If only she could start fooling herself.

A cheap motel room

Hyde didn’t move and stared at the ceiling while Tracy, or Lacey, whatever her name was, for some reason, he couldn’t remember it, paced the floor and hurried to dress. Boy, had he misjudged this one. He’d thought she was out for a good time, like he was, and nothing more.

“I just can’t keep doing this if this isn’t going anywhere, Hyde.”

He turned his head and watched her struggle to get her jeans on. “Look, I told you when we hooked up that I’m not looking for anything long term. That kind of thing makes me sick. I’m just not into it.”

She paused, her eyes boring into him. He stared back. That kind of thing didn’t bother him. Hell, a chick wouldn’t ever intimidate him or shake him down.

Not again.

“Then don’t bother calling me. Ever.”

He shrugged. He supposed she thought she was something special, that she would be the one to change him. Right. “Fine.” He arched an eyebrow and looked her up and down. Damn, she wasn’t nearly as hot as he’d initially thought. “No big loss.”

She stormed out of the room, calling him an asshole as she did, and he chuckled. He’d been called that and worse before. No skin off his back.

He closed his eyes. Maybe he’d take a little nap before heading back to the Forman’s to move his stuff to the basement. Sleep was good. Sometimes better than chicks.

Lately, always better than chicks.

An hour later, he sat up, breathing hard and rubbing his aching forehead. This time there were three shadowy woman, two tall ones backing the smaller third into a corner until she sank to the floor and curled herself into a ball, then disappeared into black smoke.

He shoved his fingers through his hair.

Damn dreams.

Half an hour later, the Forman house

Hyde stared at Mrs. Forman. She was sitting on the couch in the living room, her eyes glued to the television. Every so often, she raised a tissue to her eyes, and he couldn’t stop himself from grinning. Some of the things that made Mrs. Forman get all teary were a bit ridiculous. “Hey, Mrs. Forman. Watching your soaps again? Did some chick discover she was making out with her long lost twin brother who has amnesia?”

She gave him a sarcastic smile, sniffing as she did. “No, Mr. Smarty Pants. I’m watching Donahue, and he’s interviewing parents whose children have committed suicide. Oh, it’s so sad, Steven.” She sniffed loudly again and wiped her eyes. “The parents had no idea anything was wrong, and the children didn’t talk to them at all. The way you and Eric don’t talk to me.”

Hyde raised an eyebrow as Mrs. Forman’s expression hardened. “Uh...”

She stood and walked to him. “Now, Steven, you aren’t depressed, are you? Because they said that depressed children are secretive and have trouble sleeping. And that’s you.”

He shook his head. “No, Mrs. Forman, I’m not depressed. I promise.”

“But you’re moving back to the basement. They say that depressed children begin giving their belongings away, and you’re giving away your bedroom!”

Hyde nearly choked when she threw her arms around him and encased him in a bone-crushing hug. He patted her back and tried to breathe. “Uh...no, no, Mrs. Forman, I swear I’m not gonna kill myself. I swear.”

She drew back and looked up at him. “You promise?”

He nodded.

She smiled and patted his cheek. “Good. And if you ever even feel like it, you’ll talk to me first?”

“Of course, Mrs. Forman.” He shifted on his feet, trying to keep the reassuring smile on his face.

“Good, good. You know, there’s a beer in the refrigerator. Why don’t you take it downstairs with you? I won’t tell Red.” She laughed and rubbed his shoulders. “I think if those parents had let their kids have a little alcohol now and again, they might still be alive!”

Hyde watched her float off into the kitchen. He had beer in his room, didn’t really need to steal one from Red. “Ah, hell, why not,” he muttered and headed towards the kitchen. He could always just blame Forman, or Kelso. Or better yet, Fez.

He grinned.

A few hours later, Jackie and Fez’s apartment

Jackie stared at herself in the mirror and took a long, slow breath. Last week, she’d been in a funk. No more of that. Not if she wanted to keep Fez, and she had to. She absolutely had to. No way in hell was she going to lose another guy, and whatever it took, she’d do it. Even if it meant giving herself a pep talk.

“Okay, Jackie, no more feeling sorry for yourself,” she said, not caring that she was talking to herself or that it might be considered crazy by certain judgmental people. “You look amazing.” She nodded. She did. She was wearing a tight red dress with thin straps. Her make up was perfect, and she’d even put red lipstick on, the kind Fez loved the best.

She tried not to think about why.

Her hair was loose in waves, and she’d perfumed all the right spots. She was ready for a night of romance.

“Fez won’t know what hit him,” she continued, turning to the side and smoothing her hands over her stomach and thighs. She gave the mirror her sexiest look. “And this time, he won’t need to look at those disgusting magazines first.”

She swallowed and closed her eyes. Who was she kidding? She’d done this before. Gotten just as dolled up. And ever since that first time, the disaster that was Valentine’s Day, he’d been...

“No.” She stuck her chin out. “No. I’m not going to do this. I’m done with that self-pity. I mean, God, I’m Jackie Burkhart!”

As she walked out to the living room to wait for Fez, she thought that Donna would be proud of her. For taking the initiative and trying to solve a problem instead of just doling out an ultimatum like she’d seriously considered doing. Of course, Donna didn’t even know there was a problem. She’d never asked. Probably never would.

Half an hour later

Jackie’s breath was rapid as she dialed the Forman’s number. She raised a shaking hand to the phone and waited. When Mrs. Forman answered, she managed to settle her heart and lungs down enough to speak audibly. “Hello, Mrs. Forman, this is Jackie. I’m just wondering if Fez is there? We had a date, and he hasn’t...Oh, he was? But where did they go? Oh, okay. No, no, that’s fine. I’m just going to...I need to go. Thanks, Mrs. Forman.”

She hung up, and waited for the tears. She should be crying. Her boyfriend had ditched her to go to the movies with people who for one, weren’t as beautiful as she was, and two, weren’t planning on sleeping with him.

But as she wandered aimlessly through the apartment, her cheeks flushed and her limbs weakening and shaking, the tears didn’t come.

She sat on the couch.

There was just nothing. An absolute blank inside of her.

She smiled weakly, the laughed a bit.

It was actually a little bit funny.

The drive-in, the same time

Hyde took a drag off his cigarette and watched as Eric and Donna, Kelso and Fez came back to the cars with arms piled with food. He was set. Beer and a brown bag. Nothing else needed. And if he did need food, he’d just steal Kelso’s. Or better yet, Fez’s candy. The guy was ridiculous about candy, and it was always fun to get a rise out of him.

“I don’t know, Fez,” Donna said, giving a sideways glance to the foreigner. “Jackie was pretty convinced that you had a date tonight. Won’t she be mad that you ditched her?”

Hyde noticed the rather satisfied smirk she sent Forman’s way.

“She won’t even notice. I do not know her any more. She isn’t even bitchy.” Fez sighed loudly. “She is not as sexy as she was when she was bitchy.”

Kelso shrugged. “Yeah, when she got all complicated after Hyde stole her from me, she really lost a lot of her appeal.”

Hyde didn’t want to say anything. And he tried not to. But the smug smile Kelso threw him as well as Fez’s whining had turned his temper sour. “Oh, is that so? Is that why you were constantly hitting on her when she was with me?”

Donna broke in, stepping in between Hyde and Kelso. “Okay, okay, lets not go down this road again. God, can we have just one night where we don’t talk about Jackie? Honestly, Eric and I are home for the weekend and we want to have fun. We don’t want to hear about Jackie’s drama.” She looked at Eric and smiled. “Wonder what she’ll do without a male drooling over her.”

Hyde watched as she and Eric climbed into the back of the Vista Cruiser. He figured she must be taking some stupid feminism class, because she was even more brutal towards Jackie than she’d ever been before.

“Why don’t you just break up with her, man?” Kelso asked Fez, as the two settled down on the back of the El Camino on either side of Hyde. “I mean, you said yourself you’re just not into it anymore.”

Hyde crossed his arms and scowled. This better end soon. He’d heard enough of Fez’s complaining about Jackie, from how she was such a bitch to how she wasn’t bitchy enough anymore, from how she resented his library of porn to how she wouldn’t join him in peeping on the neighbors. On and on and on and on.

“I know, but I do not know how to do it,” Fez whined.

“You could always go to Vegas and marry a stripper. Worked for Hyde.”

Hyde elbowed Kelso hard, coaxing a loud howl from the guy. “Shut up, jackass.”

“What? I mean, yeah, she was upset for a minute, but she didn’t seem that broken up about it,” Kelso protested, wincing and rubbing his side.

Hyde glared at him. “Look, the movie’s starting, and if you girls are going to chatter through the whole thing, get the hell out of my car.”

They shut up.

Hyde tried to pay attention to the movie, but couldn’t.

Kelso was right. Jackie hadn’t seen that upset when Sam showed up. She hadn’t cried, hadn’t screamed, hadn’t done anything that he’d seen. Hadn’t begged him to send the stripper packing. She’d just metaphorically shrugged, pronounced herself done with men, and then moved on to Fez, the next one in the group she had to conquer.

He swallowed hard and reached into his jacket pocket for the bag.

No way was he going to think about Jackie tonight. And why hadn’t he just smirked when Kelso brought up Vegas and told Fez to do just that? Damn it, he should have. That’s what he did. Burn people. Would have been a sweet burn on Jackie, no matter that she wasn’t here to feel it.

No. Not gonna think about that chick.

Ten minutes after he’d lit up a joint, he thought about her. Wondered what she was doing. If she was crying over Fez the way she hadn’t cried over him that last time. If she was at that bridge again, in those sweat pants and tee shirt. If she was throwing rocks into the dirty river.

He let his head fall back against the back window of the Camino. The movie went on, people said stuff, did things, and he hardly noticed. He just wasn’t in to it.

A hotel in Point Place

Her son lay sleeping, and she sat on the bed next to him, watching him. He was beautiful, looked just like his father. And he’d changed her life, which is why she was in Point Place. She had to be less selfish. She had to make his life as wonderful as possible, whatever it took.

She sighed and looked up at the ceiling. No one knew about him, not even her parents. Soon, she’d have to tell them. Her baby deserved a family, a father, grandparents, an uncle, maybe an aunt and cousins.

Maybe someday, siblings.

Taking a deep breath, she nodded to herself and opened her eyes. She looked at her baby boy again, reached to him and stroked his soft cheek. Rose petals on her fingers, and her heart flipped over. “Soon, baby,” she whispered.

When she lay down next to him, he stirred and rolled towards her. She smiled and wrapped an arm around him.

Just a few days, enough to gather her courage, and she’d start to give her son everything he deserved.