Author’s note: I would like to thank you all for the reviews I have received for the first chapter. It really means so much for me since I’m not all that confident with this. I would also like to express my gratitude for YenGirl who had spare her time to beta and correct my ‘Engrish’ grammar :) and to Blackened Wing who linked this story on her blog. Arigatou gozaimashita... -bow-

Disclaimer: I own an old, crappy computer and internet connection, but not Vampire Knight.

“I thought that I had

my blade sharp enough

to severe our bond.

But in the end

I realized that it was me,

whose heart not strong enough

to do it”

Chapter 2. Unfinished Farewell

For seventeen years of Kain's relatively well-ordered life, if there were days in which he couldn't categorize as ‘plain’, then it would be those days when he had to take punishment over crimes he did not commit. The real culprit of the crimes, of course, was Aidou and not his at all. But since Kain had been technically inseparable from his cousin, Aidou, it was inevitable that he also received some punishment for whatever menace or disaster Aidou brought along.

It was those days that Kain hated the most. What he actually detested was not the punishment itself, but other people's thought that he had responsibility to make behave Aidou. On those days, his usually easy going mood always turned into one that would have cringed lesser mortals.

However, up until this moment − even though Kain had been more careful to prevent Aidou’s impish behavior − nothing had really changed much.

But if one ever wondered if there were other things that Kain hated more than acting as a nanny for Aidou, then it was when he failed to pry something out of him. As laid back and easy going as he was, Kain had naturally avoided to use force on someone else to abide to his will, unless he thought it absolutely necessary. It also took a rather great effort from someone like him to do it. Even so, the failure to achieve this particular objective had always enraged him.

Like he was right now.

It looked like Kain had forgotten how stubborn and difficult Aidou could act sometimes. Because the only thing Kain could fish out of him was his assurance.

Assurance that being held from whatever it was that he refused to divulge right now wouldn’t inflict any harm upon Kain.

Yeah, right.

As if he would believe Aidou.

The chances of Kain believing Kiryuu, if the silver haired prefect had actually told him that he’d secretly slept with Kaname was far bigger than that of Kain believing in Aidou’s words this morning. The only thing he’d started to believe in was that he must’ve had some sort of debt to Aidou on his previous life. That was why he had such an ill-fated life now alongside his dear cousin.

It also didn’t help trying to fathom how the hell Ruka had encouraged Aidou to keep silent for her. It was really unusual for her to share something with Aidou while refusing to do the same with Kain. Honestly, Kain felt betrayed. They made him feel as if he couldn’t be trusted.

That, combined with Kain's unsuccessful efforts to interrogate Aidou and his sleep deprivation while doing so, had complimented him with a foul mood for the rest of the day. He just couldn't help it, really.

Ruka was aware of the state he was in when they departed, Kain noticed, but she chose not to mention it. Aidou must have informed her somehow, because she looked all guilty and avoided his cousin’s involuntary glare. As they embarked on the express train she'd appeared calm again, so Kain simply ignored her for a while and tried to get some sleep.

Unfortunately, since the train they were riding was rocking all the way and Kain himself was a light sleeper, that made sleeping almost impossible to accomplish. Tired of trying, he opened his eyes again and furtively aimed his attention towards Ruka who sat on his left side − who now looked withdrawn. She leaned her head on her seat’s headrest appeared as if also trying to get to sleep, except that her beautiful eyes weren’t closed. They were looking out of the train window, expressionless and vacant.

Kain couldn't resist glancing in her direction every now and then. Soon enough his concern and curiosity overrode his own irritation. Ruka’s unusual demeanor was radiating a clear warning that something was seriously wrong. And Kain sensed that maybe he was more or less the person causing it.

Maybe his sullen attitude had mislead Ruka to assume that he was angry with her and somehow regretting the fact he’d come along. Well, he clearly didn’t. He had been mad with Aidou, but not with Ruka. Nevertheless, if that was what she had been thinking, maybe he should try to clear it up before things got worse.

He had just made up his mind to ask her when he suddenly felt something touched his left shoulder as his nose picked up a flowery sweet scent. He turned his head slowly to the left, half knowing already what had touched his shoulder. Sure enough he saw Ruka’s head leaning on him, her eyes closed and her rosy-brown hair softly covering her pale cheek. Her breathing was slow and even in Kain’s ear, revealing the fact that she was deeply asleep.

Kain had hardly ever seen Ruka sleeping once they had entered Cross Academy, and he allowed himself the luxury of watching her peaceful and relaxed pose, somehow felt relieved Ruka had finally fallen asleep. It was better than finding her being silent and deep in her thoughts.

After a while, he slowly reached for his traveling jacket, which he had stripped off after they boarded the train, and lightly draped it over Ruka. She was clad only in a cotton jacket over a thin silk blouse, and Kain was worried she might feel cold. She shifted a little closer to him when he did that, but remained asleep.

Kain frowned.

He knew that he shouldn’t feel anything out of ordinary just because of Ruka’s unconscious gesture. For God’s sake, the girl was sleeping. But inevitably, he felt warmth spreading inside his chest.

Determined not to acknowledge what he just felt or let his mind drift any further, Kain reached for a portable mp3 player from his pocket. He set the music’s volume to the max − hardly giving a damn that it almost blasted his eardrums − and didn’t stop until the train arrived at its destination.

--

“Welcome home, Ruka-sama! Welcome to Souen's family residence, Akatsuki Kain-sama!”

Ruka stepped in the foyer of her family ancestral house with Kain tailing behind her back. She stood still for a moment there − ignoring her headservant’s greeting − taking in her house surroundings and savoring its familiar atmosphere. It had almost been two years since she had left to stay at Cross Academy but the house still looked exactly like when she had last seen it. Nothing had changed.

Now she turned to face the old headservant. "How are you, Saeko-san?" Ruka greeted the old lady back with a warm smile and stepped forward to give her a proper hug.

Kain watched their reunion with an amused expression on his face. He remembered from his occasional visits to Souen’s family residence few years back, that Saeko was the only one whom Ruka had regarded the most. He’d observed that the relationship between Ruka and Saeko had somewhat appeared closer than of Ruka with her mother. Surely enough he saw Saeko’s features soften as she hugged Ruka back.

It was also quite interesting to see Ruka definitely stripping off her daily arrogant face she usually wore at the Academy, the moment she stepped into the house.

“How’s your trip?” Kain heard Saeko asked while waving her hand to signal the two maids standing behind her to take over Ruka’s and Kain’s luggage.

“Not bad, I’ve been sleeping the whole time on the train.”

“I was tempted to leave you there, you know,” Kain teased, showing a wicked grin. His mood was far improved since he’d finally fallen asleep for an hour while listening to the music. After all, what’s done is done. Since he was now here, he decided it was better to play along than being gloomy and defiant.

Ruka shot him a dirty look. “The pot is calling the kettle black! As if I’m the only one who’d fallen asleep,” she retorted, inducing a wider grin from Kain. She turned back to Saeko, “Where’s everyone? Are Father and Mother in the drawing room again?”

Saeko nodded. “Yes, they have been there since morning. I think Renata-san was working on her latest design. Ryuji-sama and Takehiko-sama have also arrived two hours ago.” She added briskly. “But Shigeru-sama sent a message that he might be delayed.”

Ruka frowned. So her eldest brother might not coming, it seems. She knew well if Shigeru had stated a line like that, it meant that he actually reluctant to come. Too bad, she actually wanted to seek advice from him. Besides, she really missed Shigeru as he had always been her favorite of brothers, and also the closest one to her.

“And how about grandmother? Is she doing well?”

Kain listened to Saeko’s report with interest. The fact that her three older brothers had also been summoned back from their abroad business station strengthened Kain’s suspicion that there must be something important going on. Almost certainly, it was the same reason which Ruka and Aidou refused to tell him. He would like to see, really, to what extent Ruka would manage to keep in the dark about it…

Ruka's voice broke Kain's train of thoughts. "Saeko-san, I'm going to offer my greetings to grandmother first, then take a shower afterwards. Would you please show Kain his sleeping quarters?"

Saeko nodded. "My pleasure, Ruka-sama," she turned to Kain. “Akatsuki-sama, you must be tired, please allow me to escort you to your room.”

Ruka sauntered off to her grandmother’s room while the headservant guided Kain to the third floor guestroom. She knocked twice at the door and waiting for a reply. Having none, she took the liberty of opening the door by herself and slipping inside the room. It was dim there, as expected, with minimal source of light, but her eyes and ears almost instantly discovered the reason why there was no answer to her knock.

Yoshiko Souen appeared not to be alone in her room. Ruka's second brother, Ryuji, was kneeling in front of her, while she sat on her luxurious high-backed Victorian style chair with her face buried in Ryuji’s neck.

“Ah.. I’m sorry for intruding, Grandma, Ryuji-nii-san,” Ruka muttered her apology automatically, out of habitual reason. She shifted uncomfortably on her feet, a little dubious whether to leave or stay, afraid that she might disrupt her grandmother blood-drinking course. It was her fault to not checking first for the presence of blood scent in the air.

Ruka was about to leave, but then stopped because Yoshiko had waved her hand casually, signaling her to stay. So Ruka just removed herself from the door and sat down on one of the chairs. Watching the two of them surreptitiously, she couldn’t help but think that, while she saw only familiarity, bond and gentle affection between the two family members in front of her, it must also be a hair-raising sight to any human who happened to witness the same thing. Her lips curved into a wry smile. Just try to take Yuuki Cross to see all this. She dared to bet that the pureblood-turned-human-turned-pureblood would be at least surprised to see this common vampire household activity. She wouldn't even know that blood offering to the older members in a vampire family was a symbol of total respect and affection. Couldn’t really blame her, since she had been raised as a human for ten years. No doubt Yuuki would take some time to adjust herself as a vampire, or maybe it would be faster if Kaname taught her himself. Kaname must love her so much, that he was willing to go through so many troubles just...

She stopped abruptly there. The thoughts of Yuuki and Kaname being together suddenly made her stomach sick.

"Why... you have a scary look on your face, little Ruka-chan..." the amused singsong voice draw Ruka’s gaze up, straight into a pair of bright sky blue eyes that she knew so well.

Ruka broke into a smile and leapt up to bear-hug Ryuji. "Ryuji-nii-san, you looked great!" actually the word great was a little bland to describe Ryuji Souen's physical appearance. Devastating, would be more appropriate. He was the most handsome one out of the three Souen's family sons. He was six foot one with gleaming dark hair and a perfectly sculpted body that no living female on the planet, vampire or not, could resist his sultry charm. The only flaw he had was the fact that he was now a happily married man.

Ryuji released himself from Ruka's embrace to take a better look at her. "And you still look... like a midget."

"Hey! I’m not midget, it’s just you who oversized," Ruka folded her arms in front of her chest and faked a hurt expression at his comment.

He gave her a boyish grin. "Seriously Ruka, you seem no different from the last time I saw you before you went to that vampire… er… civilization school. And you look a little pale too. Got any fresh blood lately?" Ryuji knew well that Cross Academy was distributing blood tablets to their vampire students and he loved to tease Ruka for that, calling her vegetarian.

"Stop teasing your sister, Ryuji!" Yoshiko stepped forward, still dabbing at her blood stained lips. "And get out of my way, would you? I want to see her properly." Ryuji complied. He stepped aside, even though he couldn’t entirely erase the smirk off his handsome face.

“Well well… I’m sad to announce that he is right,” Yoshiko pointed her thumb at Ryuji direction while shaking her head ruefully. “Though you did grow a little taller.” Her gleaming hazel eyes carefully scanned Ruka from head to toe. Ruka just smiled at her grandmother’s customary scrutiny that she always gave every family member who came home and greeted her.

“Oh, Grandma… I’m sure it’s just due to this room’s lighting. But I must admit that your eyes are still as sharp as ever, and of course, as beautiful as ever too,” Ruka replied smoothly. She knew, after all, how to turn her Grandmother’s attention, as much as how to please her. Yoshiko was clearly the type of woman who appreciated another’s compliments on her ever prominent beauty. “So, where’s my hug?” Ruka added cunningly.

“I swear you inherited that smart mouth from your father!” Yoshiko snorted, while at the same time not hiding a pleased sparkle in her eyes. She step forward and hugged Ruka warmly. Ruka hugged her back and indulged herself with her grandmother’s ever so calming scent. The old lady released her after a while, and patted her back “You looked tired, Ruka, and… smell of someone. Male, I conclude.” Yoshiko sniffed softly at Ruka, eyes narrowing speculatively. “Do I get myself a guest, someone I know… or is it because you took that no good public train to get here?”

Ruka swallowed nervously. She hadn’t forgotten to strip off the jacket Kain had been covering her with while she slept on the train. But inevitably his scent was still clinging all over her, drawing her Grandmother’s suspicion. Deciding that she should better reveal the truth, because sooner of later her Grandmother would know, she shrugged off-handedly and proceeded to inform her. “It’s Akatsuki, Grandma. He’s been traveling with me.”

Yoshiko’s mouth formed a small ‘O’ and her eyes lit up in comprehension. “Ah, Kain’s family son? Did his brat of a cousin come with him too?” she asked Ruka rather disdainfully, while Ryuji suppressed a laugh behind her. Ruka shot him a warning look, even though she felt like grinning herself.

“Grandma...!” Ruka exclaimed, sounding torn between disbelief and amusement. “Please, he’s got a name. It’s Aidou Hanabusa, and no, he’s not coming.” Her grandmother was always like that, stern and sharp-tongued, but Ruka also knew that she was all bark and no bite. Yoshiko snorted once again at her words, which Ruka take as a good sign, considering she usually performed no less than an outburst over things she didn’t approve. She grabbed her chance fast, before she was being asked for the reason why Kain had followed her home. “Well, I’ll take my leave now, Grandma, I need my shower before dinner. I don’t wanna be late.”

Yoshiko nodded, and Ruka gladly went out. She climbed the grand staircase heading out to second floor. Her own bedroom was located there, right under the guestroom. Like the other parts of the house, her bedroom also didn’t show any difference since the last time she left it. Except for the noticeable freshly made bed sheets, curtains and recently cleaned dust from its furniture, the room seemed and smelled the same.

She dropped her purse on the bed, and walked to the dresser to choose a suitable dress to wear for dinner. She had left half of her clothes here and brought the rest to Cross Academy. But considering she would only be here for a month, she did not bring many clothes back. Ruka carefully scanned the dresses one by one. She should wear something more formal than casual tonight in knowledge that her grandmother would also join the family dinner. Her hand stopped at a white lacy dress. She pulled it hesitantly out of the dresser, and then turned to examine her own reflection with the dress on a full length mirror. The dress looked beautiful on her. Ruka recognized in an instant that it was the dress she had wore three years ago when she accompanied her father to Ichijo mansion for the first time.

She remembered her father had left her alone in the garden while he went to discuss some important matters with Asato Ichijo. That was when Kaname and Takuma had strolled down to the garden and found her standing by the rose bushes. Kaname recognized Ruka instantly – he nodded and gave her a courteous smile. Then Takuma, the one who always possessed a spontaneous character, started to compliment her on her dress, which color had resembled the white rose bush she’d been standing next to.

"Wow, you looked beautiful wearing white, Ruka. Don't you think so, Kaname-sama?"

"...yes, you're right."

He had not said anything else, but his gaze held unmistakable silent admiration for her. Both his captivating crimson-brown eyes had looked at her so intently...

The next time Ruka had seen that kind of look again in his eyes was when they had entered Cross Academy. It had not been directed at her, but at an ordinary human girl named Yuuki Cross. The look had never been Ruka’s anymore. Her first had also been her last…

A soft knock on the door snapped Ruka out of her reminiscing. She blinked, focused back at the mirror... and gasped softly.

She'd been crying.

Her mirror image showed a beautiful rosy-brown haired girl holding a white dress, crying. A teardrop ran freely down her flushed cheek.

Confused, Ruka quickly wiped her tears away. When had she started to cry? Didn't she just promise herself today that she would never again cry for Kaname? That it would be the last time, this morning, that she would ever shed tears for him? She had cried only for the sake of her past…

Ruka had accepted the fact that she had to move on, and that Kaname would never be hers. It wasn’t an easy thing to do. She had been in love with Kaname for years, since she was very young. In fact it was all started on the day Ruka heard people talked about him for the first time. It took all the willpower she possessed just to build her resolution to forget him. But at last she managed to end her infatuation over Kaname. Or at least that’s how Ruka thought before she found out dazedly that she had been crying. Otherwise, she wouldn't be standing here in her home, preparing to...

"Ruka-sama?" there was more knocking on the door.

Ruka drew in a shaky breath and let the dress fall from her grasp to the carpeted floor.

She cleared her still tightened throat and answered the call. "Yes?" It must be one of the maids, she thought, as she smelled a faint scent of fresh laundry slipping slowly into her bedroom. "Who is it!?" she shouted a reply, aware that her room had been furnished with soundproofed material to ensure her privacy, to make it difficult for anybody outside the room caught any sounds from inside, unless it had been loud.

"Um... I'm Aya... Hanagisawa-san sent me to inform Ruka-sama that dinner will be ready in an hour," replied a soft female voice.

"Very well, thank you, Aya,"

The maid walked away with brisk steps.

Ruka walked back to the dresser and retrieved another dress. This time she chose a cream colored silk blouse and a knee-length matching pleated skirt. She left the clothes on her bed and went to shower.

Fifteen minutes later and thoroughly refreshed, Ruka once again standing in front of the mirror carefully eyeing her own appearance. She looked deceitfully composed and confident now.

“Liar…” she whispered accusingly. Her eyes moved to the lump of lacy white dress she'd dropped on the floor.

Suddenly feeling worn-out, Ruka opened the door leading to her private balcony and stepped outside into the flower-scented, cool night air. She leaned on the balcony’s steel railing, hand gripping the cold and hard material while her eyes scanned distractedly at the scenery of her mother’s prized rose garden, exactly thirty feet below her. The sun had set off a couple of hours ago and the garden had been surrounded with darkness, as it was purposefully unequipped with any form of lighting at all. But of course, Ruka was hardly aware or even bothered by it as her vampire sharp senses worked its advantage.

Her mind had started to wander again, but this time she deliberately refused to think of Kaname. She thought of Kain instead, and the purpose she'd been invited him here.

It really was funny how she could get so lost in her own thoughts in the past forty eight hours. Before, when she’d received the summoning letter from her mother, she had dreaded thinking about it. Dreaded coming home, because she knew what would await her there. Then Aidou had come to ask if she would spend her long vacation at his home, together with the others. Maybe because she was feeling so desperate, she ended up telling him about her situation. That was when Aidou suddenly came up with an idea to help her.

She shook her head slowly, recalling Kain’s sullen mood when they left Cross Academy. Aidou had sneaked out to her room to warn her about it, while Kain was having his shower. Aidou had a crumpled expression on his face and Ruka also did not miss the small detail of him carrying a plastic bag of crushed ice behind his back. Ruka had been quick to point that out of course, asking him what the ice was for, but he’d shrugged off her question and insisted that he didn’t have much time. He only alerted Ruka to the fact that Kain had tried to fish out some information out of him because he was dying to know the reason why Ruka had invited him to follow her home. And alone too, on the top of that. When Aidou refused to tell the truth − since Ruka had previously prohibited him − Kain ended up demonstrating his cranky attitude and gloomy aura.

Hence the ice pack.

Maybe she shouldn't agree to Aidou's crazy idea. But she knew that somehow Aidou had been right. If she really needed help, Kain would be the perfect person to ask, because he had the tendency to help others without hesitation and Ruka was one of the few people he cared deeply about.

She felt the sickening feeling of guilt washed over her again. She was using him. It was an unfair play that she was performing to Kain, she had to admit. But she really had no other choice. She needed help, but also feared to ask him openly. Afraid that Kain might reject her after knowing the nature of her request. She should be relieved that in the end, he just complied with her request without pushing her to reveal her actual motive. Guess she was just plain lucky.

But Ruka knew, sooner or later she would have to explain everything to him. The real reason why he was being requested to follow her home, and why she couldn’t come clean with him. She was sure that if she just proceeded with her plan without explaining things to him first, he would be seriously mad at her. That would be a risk since he had to fully agree and cooperate with her for her plan to succeed. It was just a matter of time, indeed… and time was now of the essence.

The soft click of a door opening on the balcony above her head, followed by the sound of light footsteps attracted her attention. It must be Kain, she thought, as she unconsciously inhaled deeply at his familiar natural scent mixed with the fresh fragrance of soap. His scent was always so calming…

Speaking of timing...

Sighing resignedly, Ruka left her room. She still had half an hour before dinner and she decided to use it well, so she made her way up to the third floor. If it was about sooner or later, then in this case it had better be sooner…

--