When he eventually got over the suffocating feeling that the depths of the Underdark stirred within him, Valygar found himself almost obsessed by religion.

He was not -- he never had been -- a religious man. He saw no reason to respect anything that could become as corrupted as deities such as Talos or Cyric. The evilness that they encouraged in their followers, the misery that they caused; for them to exist, the very nature of Gods was not a good one. He would not, and could not, offer tribute to a creature who had once been as mortal as he had -- there was no way he would accept anyone had any control over his destiny than himself.

And now he was finding religion of the very worst kind being thrust into his face at every turn. And he was simply powerless to do anything about it.

Their stay in Ust Natha was proving to be, for Valygar, even worse than their dangerous wanderings through the Underdark passages. Not only was he deemed a lowly male in the matriarchal system, but he was an outsider -- the group had been given a background of being from Ched Nasad to grant them entry to the city. To prevent them from receiving an early death, they'd also been bewitched to carry the appearance and tongue of the drow that now surrounded them. Valygar was very displeased.

He could not be angry, though. They were hunting the mage and his sister, the two who had stolen the divine souls from his two companions. They knew their quarry had passed through this dark city, and a great beast -- a Silver Dragon of extreme beauty -- had given them the chance to pursue. The opportunity had not come for free, however -- they were to seek out and rescue her stolen eggs, and return them to her in return for passage to the surface. Had it been any other creature, the ranger would have scoffed. But she commanded respect... despite his loathing for the task, he knew it was the right thing to do.

Brevad, however, was another matter. He had been sullen and bad-tempered since the transformation, and entering the drow city had done nothing to lighten his mood. Even Anomen was managing to act the part better than the paladin. It hadn't gone unnoticed by Imoen -- the young girl had stepped up quickly to act as the group's leader, performing her role with the practiced ease of a habitual fibber. But she couldn't keep it up for long -- in the evenings, when they were alone, she'd wait for the other to go to bed before breaking down for a while before turning in herself. He never gave any sign that he'd heard her, but he knew -- and he was sure her brother knew as well, considering the extra concern in his eyes whenever he looked over to his sibling.

Nalia, Aerie and Cernd were trying to keep their heads down as much as possible. The noblewoman was unusually quiet here -- her dedication to her Art, however, was undiminished, and it was with mild horror that Valygar had realised she'd managed to purchase some drow scrolls from a trader in the inn. Several sharp words had been exchanged before he threw his hands up in despair and defeat -- the words coming from her lips were like the echoes of words spoken long ago by his mother, when she, too, had been in denial about her obsession.

Aerie, though, seemed to be less inclined to look at her spellbook. Instead, she would be sitting slightly away with the others, usually beside Cernd, her eyes closed tightly as she silently prayed. Valygar had berated them both when he had first realised what they were doing; We are under the eye of Lolth, herself! Do you not think she will see you?! Do you not think our disguise will be revealed out of her ire? But Anomen had shaken his head, drawing the ranger away from the frightened avariel and sad-looking druid. He'd asked what difference their prayers made -- that Lolth would know they were in the city, that she would know everything about them anyway. That whether he liked it or not, she was accepting them there, for her own purposes, for now. And that they should pray -- that the every last boon they could get from their respective Gods might be the only thing that could end up saving them from the terrible plots that were being woven around them.

And Valygar had sighed, and nodded. The knight was correct, of course.

So every evening, while Nalia murmured to herself, her hair hanging down around her face as she bent over her spellbook, and while Imoen practiced more basic cantrips, trying to remember what she'd previously learnt, the four who Believed would sit in silence, beseeching their patrons of the pantheons to give them some kind of ability to help them survive the experience.

In short, they were each asking for a miracle.

But -- for whatever reason -- their disguises held, their days passed as peacefully as they could expect in the violent environment of the drow. They manoeuvred themselves into a promising position with the House guilty of the theft of the Silver Dragon's eggs, and had performed enough actions to double-cross both the Matron Mother of the House, and her ambitious daughter. Had they been true dark elves, Lolth would surely have been proud of their ambition; as it was, they knew that this would be their final evening in the tavern, and that the following day, they'd either escape with their prize... or they would die.

Imoen was the first to retire from their private common room to her chamber, to his surprise. Despite her features being darker with the disguise, he could recognise the signs of fatigue on her face. Her eyes looked heavy, her shoulders were slumped. The loss of her soul was taking a much harder effect on her than her brother, and Valygar sometimes wondered how she managed to cope.

Cernd sighed shortly after, and also wished a good night to the group. Nalia did likewise, but Valygar doubted she intended to sleep -- her spellbook was still gripped firmly in her hands, and she was showing no signs of the fatigue that the others felt. The ranger wondered what else she'd managed to purchase, alongside the scrolls.

The others remained with Valygar, and one by one, their praying ceased. Brevad stopped first, slumping back into one of the extravagantly cushioned seats and running a hand through his unruly white hair. His brow was creased, and it was obvious that he was worried about what they had to face. When he realised Valygar was watching him, however, he smiled.

"It's been quite the journey," he remarked, almost conversationally. There was still tenseness there, though -- a small hint of frustration, of anger. The discipline of a paladin was had to break, though.

Valygar nodded solemnly. "If you'd told me when we first met that I would end up here, I wouldn't have believed you."

"You wouldn't have joined us!" Brevad grinned. He seemed to relax for the first time in weeks. Valygar chuckled.

"You're probably right," he acceded. "But... who knows. We do strange things all the time."

"Nay, my friend," Anomen said, quietly, his eyes opening as his communion with Helm ended. "We are guided by those who strive to offer us protection. Our actions are rarely due to chance."

Valygar snorted slightly and shook his head. He refrained from commenting further, but did not escape the curious looks from the two knights. Eventually he sighed and spoke. "My life belongs to myself, I am afraid. I... am aware that our feelings differ drastically in this sense, and I mean no offence by it. But I am not at the mercy, or under the guidance, of any god."

"Th-they are not as bad as you think," Aerie interrupted softly. Valygar turned to look at her, but her expression was dreamy, her gaze fixed on something only she could see. He had no idea how long she'd been paying attention.

"My f-faith kept me from going mad when I was in the circus," she continued. "Now Baervan comforts me with the knowledge that I am n-not alone, and helps keep me on the path of good."

"It has been a long time since I needed companionship, Aerie," the ranger replied simply. "And now it is even less since joining this group. I have enough faith in my own conscience; to trust the whims of some deity..."

Anomen was frowning, though he looked more thoughtful than angered. "It is through my dedication to serving the Vigilant One that has seen me achieve all I have these past years. Were more inclined to take the righteous path, the suffering we see so often would surely cease..."

"Would it?" Valygar leaned forward in his seat. "Tell me, Sir Knight -- why do you worship your god?"

For a moment, the ranger wondered if he saw a flicker of confusion flash across the priest's face; but then it was gone. There was a long silence.

"Because he offers his protection and his righteousness to those who will follow. And, in turn, he allows us to defend those who do not have the means or the strength to defend themselves."

"I concur," mused Brevad. "Tyr guides us to find justice for the wrongs in the lands. Without justice, those who practice their evil deeds would never have to account for themselves."

"And you must worship a god to feel like this?" Valygar asked. "Can you not follow those morals as an individual?"

Anomen seemed to bristle slightly. "If you imply that I am unable to think for myself by worshipping my Lord Helm, then you tread on dangerous ground, ranger."

Valygar shook his head. "I did not mean to offend -- I apologise if you too any offence. I only mean... the dogmas, the beliefs you seem to find in your faith... they are good. But why do you need to offer your worship for actions and opinions that you hold within yourselves, anyway, as good men?"

"It is not as simple as that," Brevad said quietly. "We are but men... I cannot speak for Sir Anomen, but for myself... Were it not for the strict teachings I received as a squire of Tyr, I doubt I would have ended up half the man I now am. I was... a daydreamer, in my youth. I was lazy, unthinking. I could not see the larger picture, and so I cared little for the wrongs being committed across the lands -- for the people who escaped justice every day. Without the sponsorship I received, and the training I then received, I would have ended up a very different person. Selfish, perhaps. Maybe even morally questionable if ignorance suited me better. Now, however, I strive to end the evilness in the lands, to preserve the justness. I do it because Tyr has faith in me and thinks I am worthy -- and I strive to serve Him to better these lands."

"Could you not do it without your bond of servitude?" Valygar pressed, his curiosity peaked.

"Under what banner, my friend? As a lone do-gooder? I would have no blessing of a god, and nothing to make me stand out from the average commoner on the street. Why would anyone listen to me? I would not have proven myself... I would have no symbol of what I stand for. I suppose that... that to serve the greater good, you must align yourself with the gods. Only then will the citizens have faith in your intentions."

The ranger nodded and leaned back in his chair. "I suppose you have a point," he murmured thoughtfully, pressing his fingers together as he brought his hands up to his lips. "I had never looked at it from that view, though it seems very... hollow."

Brevad chuckled. "The way I said it sounds particularly cold, I agree. But I wish to serve the Just God, and I am very happy to do so. Despite your lack of faith, you must appreciate that He is a good and equitable power. Many benefit from His tenets."

"Aye," Valygar conceded. "I have no real quarrel with the ones who seek to spread goodness; I just have no wish to do it, myself."

"Were it not for Helm's guidance, and that of this group, my own fortune may have been very different, also," said Anomen, suddenly. "Moira's death ignited a rage in me that I had long sought to quench, and that I believed to be under my control. It was only on the realisation of her murder that I had to accept that it was not; and the temptation to take action, as it screamed for me to do, was immense. But it was not what Helm taught me; I was... weak, and unable to see that for myself. I was fortunate, indeed, to have met such companions, such... friends. The anger was quelled enough for me to find my way again, and I swore I would not be blinded again. Helm... Helm saw this when I was Judged. He had faith in me, as I have in him."

"What about you, Aerie?" Valygar asked, looking back over to the avariel. She had gone very quiet. "Has your choice of deity guided you through difficult choices?"

She didn't meet his gaze, and it was several moments before she spoke. When she did, her voice was barely audible. "When I was younger, I worshipped Aerdrie Faenya, as my mother had. S-she was our protector, she loved us and we... we l-loved her. But... b-but then, when I was captured and they... they c-cut off my wings, it all changed. I couldn't feel her with me any more. It was as if she'd t-turned her back on me when I lost my ability to fly."

"Oh, Aerie. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to-"

"Quayle was k-kind to me, when I was freed from the slavers," she continued, interrupting the ranger's attempted apology. "He looked after me and h-healed me as well as he could. He t-told me all about Baervan Wildwanderer, and learnt all I could. I... I hadn't been able to heal myself, but when I prayed to Baervan I... I felt accepted again. I thought, for a long t-time, that Aerdrie had left me, but Quayle insisted that I just lost my faith, and... and when I was ready to find it again, I c-couldn't connect with what I'd once been. P-perhaps he was right."

Valygar watched Brevad's hand reach out to squeeze the elven girl's hand reassuringly. She offered him a weak smile in return, and their eyes met only for the briefest of moments before they both looked away, almost uncomfortably. Neither removed their hand from the other, though, and the awkwardness seemed to pass. Valygar wasn't sure what to say; Anomen saved him from the silence, though.

"We have found peace with our faith, in different ways," he mused, then looked over to the ranger. "Once, not so long ago, I would have preached the way to you and almost seen you as much a sinner as the average brigand on the roads. But since travelling with this group, I have... I have grown, yes, and I know that amongst the black and the white, there are shades of grey. For a faithless man, you are a good man, Valygar. If you are at peace with your ways, then I respect it as much as I am sure you respect my own."

The ranger nodded, bowing his head in agreement with the priest’s words as Anomen stood up, stretching his arms, then rubbing his eyes tiredly. He wished everyone a good evening, and moved away to his chamber while the remaining friends sat in another comfortable silence.

"I cannot worship something just because it exists," Valygar eventually sighed. "I am not foolish enough to deny their existence, and I undoubtedly, they wield their own powers and dubious levels of morality in some cases. To some degree they are responsible for the world and all that is in it, which includes me... But if there are mad gods, then gods are not necessarily wise, and if there are evil gods -- and we know there are -- then... then I cannot see what makes the gods superior to us mortals." He closed his eyes, rubbing his forehead with his hand. "I wish it were as easy for me as it has been for you to find some kind of faith."

"I thought you were happy with your lack of b-belief," Aerie said.

Valygar smiled a tired smile and shook his head slowly. "So did I, Aerie. So did I."