((Disclaimer: I don’t own Bleach, but I do own Ellie! Blocks of centered italicized text are flashbacks. Song selections are, as always, underlined, italicized, and centered. This chapter switches back and forth a bit, but it’s necessary for the pacing. So, keep that in mind and enjoy! Oh, oh, oh… if you want to bring the songs up ahead of time, they are going to be: ‘Sound of Snow Falling’ by Taku Iwasaki, 'The Price of Freedom' by Takeharu Ishimoto, Dodo Dance by Sagisu Shiro, and Morning Remembrance/ Soundscape to Ardor – Sagisu Shiro. For the last one, search for a site called leekaiwei and listen to the really long Morning Remembrance/Soundscape to Ardor that the person played on the piano. It’s beautiful.))

&3&

‘Ichimaru… taichō… no…’ She bit her lip, stifling a whimper as the downpour assaulted the fresh wound. “Renji…” Her voice was nothing more than a whisper above the rain. “I…”

Everything began to fade as darkness took her within its cold embrace.

&3&

-“…but what are we supposed to tell him?”-

The first thing Renji noticed when he woke up was the feeling of his own heart pounding in his chest. It wasn’t that it was racing particularly fast or anything that might cause someone to worry; it just felt so… forceful. He took in a sharp breath, swallowing hard.

-‘I think he’s coming to. What should we do?”-

-‘Quick! Someone call for Unoh---‘

“That won’t be necessary,” A calm voice interrupted the whispers.

“Unohana-taichō!” A vaguely familiar voice chimed in and there was a screech as some kind of stool or chair was pushed back. Presumably, the person had stood to bow out of respect for the highly ranked woman.

“Please allow me a moment with him.” Her tone was light and airy, one of the most reassuring things one could really hear upon regaining consciousness. Still, there was an underlying firmness behind it that suggested it was best to do as she asked.

Footsteps could be heard quickly fleeing the room and then, all at once, there was silence.

He wasn’t really sure why, but he wasn’t in any hurry to open his eyes. Something was heavily weighing on his chest, though he knew he couldn’t feel anything there. ‘What… what is this?’ His brows knit in concern as he strained to recall the events prior to blacking out.

“How are you feeling?”

It was too late to feign anything other than consciousness. After all, she probably sensed his awakened state or else she wouldn’t have bothered asking.

“I…” he croaked. His voice was low and rough from the time that had passed. “Where…” With great effort, he opened his eyes and blinked until things focused. “Where am I?”

“Isn’t it fairly obvious?” She leaned in closer, smiling once in view. “You’re being housed within the fourth division while you recover from considerable injury.”

“Recover…?”

It was then that he truly felt the wariness that had settled into his body. His joints felt stiff as he struggled to grip the edge of the bed, sluggishly pulling himself into a sitting position. The thin white fabric of the bed sheets felt foreign beneath his fingertips. It was almost as if he were feeling each sensation for the first time after having been away for quite some time. It didn’t make any sense.

“You don’t remember?” Her expression turned curious as she pulled something out from within an interior pocket. Before he could reply, a bright light invaded his line of vision.

His eyes instinctively welled up with tears from the brightness, but he didn’t have anywhere else to turn as she leaned forward. “The last thing…” He cleared his throat in an attempt to speak in a more normal tone. “The last thing I knew, I was outside…”

She nodded; pointing the small light at his other eye. Apparently everything was satisfactory, because she pulled away and replaced the small penlight.

“It was raining and I was…” His eyes widened in horror as the scene returned to him in flashes of fragmented memories. “I was…” he trailed off, balling the sheets up in his fists.

“Go on…” She coaxed him gently, taking a seat at his side. “Do you remember now?”

“Where is she?!” The redhead turned to her with a heart-wrenching sense of bewilderment. His breaths came in uneven intervals as he looked around frantically, his voice rising. “What happened?!”

“I need you to calm down first.” Her tone became a little more strict, like that of a mother reprimanding her child. “It took five, uninterrupted hours just to bring you back from the brink of death and that was only two days ago. Your body is not ready to handle this kind of stress right now.

“You know what I’m talking about!” he snapped, his eyes narrowed in frustration.

Her mouth formed a thin line as she stood; her haori billowed out from a breeze that passed through the open window. It was evening and the crisp night air slipped in with the early beams of moonlight. “I realize that you’re upset, but acting in this manner will not help your condition.”

“I’m sorry…” He looked down at his lap and crimson fell across his face like a curtain. “Thank you… for the effort you gave to save my life.”

She shook her head. “It was nothing. I just ask that you… don’t react too harshly in the future.”

“React…?” His eyes widened as she moved toward the glow of the hallway.

“I’m afraid I have to check on other patients now; if you’ll excuse me.” Her form was nothing more than a silhouette as she gave him a slight nod, before disappearing into the hall.

“Wait!” He reached out, wincing at how sore his muscles had become. “Please…” His tone softened as his hand fell back on the bed. Turning toward the darkened window, he couldn’t help but feel a pang of worry well up inside. ‘Where –are- you?’

There was a soft knock at the door. “Renji…?”

He immediately perked up, straining to see the figure amidst all of the light that came flooding in from the hall. “Yeah?”

The visitor was small and distinctly feminine. She raised a hand in greeting as she passed through the door and for the briefest moment, his heart sped up in anticipation. ‘Could it be…?’

“How are you feeling?”

He had thrown the blankets covering him aside by now, gingerly swinging his legs over the side. “I---“ He looked up and his face fell. “Rukia?”

She raised an eyebrow. “What is it?”

“Nothing…” He pushed off of the bed and stood with waning balance. “Forget it.”

“Ichigo and the others went back today. He came by twice, but you were still unconscious.” She took a few steps toward him with her arms braced outward in case he fell. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” He straightened, towering over his childhood friend. “Tell me what happened.”

She blinked, taken aback by the sudden demand. “I’m not really---“

“What room did they put her in? Did she wake up yet?” He was blinking hard, as if just asking made him uncomfortable.

His eyes were focused on the door with a sort of longing.

“I… I don’t know how to say this…” She ran a hand back through her raven tresses, eying him strangely. It was rare to see him so nervous. In fact, she had never seen him act this way in all of the years she had known him.

…When had she lost his affection?

Not that she really minded. After all, she'd had someone else on her mind for the past few months. It was nice to see Renji finally move on in that respect. Truthfully, somewhere along the line, their relationship took on an almost sibling role. That’s why it hurt for her to be the one sent to speak with him.

How could she tell someone she considered a brother that his---

“Say what?” He turned to her, the light enveloped half of his features while the other side was shrouded in shadow.

She gulped subconsciously, taking a deep breath. “Renji…”

“What is it?” His eyes searched hers. “What are you trying to say?”

“It’s about that night…”

&3&

“No, first let me say thank you…” Rukia shook her head and stared at the floor, smoothing out imaginary wrinkles in her attire. “If it weren’t for you and the others, I wouldn’t be here.”

His eyes almost seemed to glow eerily in the dim lighting as his expression softened. “I told you once…” He looked down; rubbing his neck. “You don’t have to thank me.”

She nodded, turning her back on the light of the hallway. “We’ve been through a lot, haven’t we?”

“You’ve never been one to reminisce, Rukia.” His face was a mask of frustration as he looked up. “Just tell me what’s going on.”

Her posture visibly stiffened as she stared off toward the window. “They stopped looking for her, Renji. She was declared ‘Missing in Action’ this morning. The body… was never recovered.”

“…What?” His eyes widened and he had to grip the doorway for support as he legs threatened to give out. “The body…”

“I’m sorry.” Biting her lip, she braced herself for the worst and turned around. True to her suspicions, her best friend was falling apart at the seams. “Listen, I know---“

“What do you mean… they stopped looking for her?”

The raspy tone of his voice was enough to make her think twice about confronting him. “Yamamoto-taichō’s orders. He sent out a report to all divisions this morning with a list of names…”

“No.”

“Tomorrow…” She took a silent step forward, lowering her voice. “Tomorrow they’re going to have a service in memory of everyone that we lost in the battle...”

“Just who…” His arm was shaking as he panted for breath. “…WHO THE F*** DOES HE THINK HE IS… DECIDING HER FATE?!”

An attendant of the fourth squad peeked in the door and wordlessly slipped away. After all, the man was making quite a commotion.

“Renji…” She reached out, feeling her chest constrict at the sight of him.

“Name?”

“Elethea, sir. Please refer to me as Ellie.” The small blonde recruit stood at attention, her words crisp and succinct.

“Ellie, huh?” He bent down a little, meeting her familiar cerulean gaze. “I see.”

“No.” He shrugged off the comforting gesture with a jerk of his arm. “No…”

“It’s not your fault.” Her eyebrows met in a gravely serious expression. “There are reports that Ichimaru-tai… no, Ichimaru Gin disappeared with her in his arms and a woman in braided pigtails at his side. You were rendered unconscious on the ground.”

His fist clenched and unclenched at his side as he struggled to maintain his composure, but it was quickly threatening to spill over. ‘I can’t even… How did this happen?! I knew… I KNEW I should have never let her fight.’

“…The curious thing is that Ichimaru appeared back at the execution grounds with the young woman in time to leave with Aizen and Tousen. It seems that they are in league with the Menos Grande and made a hasty retreat to Hueco Mundo.”

&3&

“You’re saying that they just… left her somewhere?”

For the first time in her life, Rukia felt uneasy around the redhead. From the moment the verdict left her lips, his demeanor had completely changed… contorted into something almost frightening. His tone was low and almost gruff in nature as he stood there, his posture rigidly erect.

Still, this was the man she had grown up with. She wouldn’t abandon him in his time of need, even if that meant putting up a professional front. “That’s what the reports indicate.”

“Then why…” His chest rose and fell in erratic intervals. “Why have they given up the search?”

“Given the number of casualties and injuries sustained, we cannot afford to dispatch shinigami to remote areas to search for her body. He also noted that we were on high alert following the events that unfolded because of Aizen’s treachery.”

“Stop saying that!” he snapped, clutching his head as if it were all too much to handle. “She could still be alive!”

“Renji…” Her eyes softened. “Even if she was alive when they left her, it’s been days. The report says that she had critical, if not fatal, injuries just prior to being abducted…”

“I know…” He took a step back into the darkness of the room, looking around like a caged animal. “Don’t you think I know that?! I’m the reason she got hurt!”

“I told you not to blame yourself!” She adopted the strict façade once more, scolding him before he had the chance to dwell on it. ‘I don’t even know what happened there. Should I really have been the one to tell him?’

“Rukia…” He was gritting his teeth as he brushed past her, taking quick strides toward the open window. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

She could feel it now.

The pressure in the room was rising despite the fact that he was restraining himself in her presence. Being held captive in that tower for so long had depleted her body of reiatsu. Her powers had yet to return and it was sometimes difficult to even stay in her brother’s estate. ‘I hate feeling so vulnerable…’ Turning lightly on her heel, she stared at his formed hunched over to lean out the window. ‘…but I hate seeing him vulnerable even more. I can’t even imagine what he’s feeling now. He must have really cared for her.’

Her eyes widened. ‘What am I saying? I’m as bad as everyone else… what kind of friend am I? If he won’t count her out, I shouldn’t either. After all, I saw her there with the others on the day of my execution. She didn’t count me out even then. How could I be so foolish as to let –orders- dictate how I help someone I knew long before I ever became a shinigami!’

“My injuries… I couldn’t move.” He didn’t turn around. “I was in and out of consciousness during her battle, but then… at the end…”

She blinked, not even daring to breathe for fear he might not have the strength to explain later.

“She took a blade meant for me.” Though he was looking out the window, she could see the moonlight reflect something glossy in the corner of his eye. “That’s how she… she…”

“Don’t say it.”

If she were anyone else, under any other circumstances, she might have taken him into her arms and held him while he grieved. And if he were anyone else, it might have been appropriate.

As it was, she stood frozen to her spot, shifting uncomfortably as he turned to stare at her.

“IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME!” His eyes were suddenly ablaze as he stood, his voice strained. “I wish it were me out there instead of her.”

“I know.”

“There’s just no way…” He crossed the room quickly, taking her by the shoulders. “She can’t die, Rukia!”

She couldn’t say anything to comfort him as he shook her petite frame.

“HOW COULD SHE DIE AND LEAVE ME HERE LIKE THIS!?” His grip tightened, though he probably didn’t realize it in that state. “Why did she have to go and do a stupid thing like that?!” Forcefully pulling back, he took a few steps to the wall and punched it with all of his might. The wooden splintered into thousands of fragments, leaving a gaping hole as thin trails of blood slid down his fist. “DAMN IT, ELLIE!”

&3&

His breath caught in his throat as the words pierced the silence. ‘That’s the first time I’ve spoken her name aloud since… since then.’ It was almost as if just mentioning her name breathed life into the nightmare that had come crashing down around him.

Slowly withdrawing his fist, he couldn’t feel the sting of blood across his knuckles. It was as if the hope that he had clung to was slowly being pulled away and, one by one, his senses were shutting down.

“I couldn’t protect her,” He said more to himself than out loud. “I failed…” His hand fell limply to his side and he seemed to be mulling something over for a moment. ‘I don’t deserve to live.’ When he raised his head, all traces of anger had given way to a heart-wrenching, bewildered expression. “Why am I still here?”

Before she could respond, a memory surfaced, triggered by his own words.

With a growl, Ellie drew her zanpakuto and pointed the blade between his eyes. “This is no time to feel sorry for yourself!”

He blinked: once, twice.

“I get that you’re upset with how the battle turned out, but don’t you think you LIVED for a reason?” The blade wavered slightly. “Was that reason for you to just sit here and brood over your limitations? If that’s the case, then you better just wait here and I’ll save her myself!”

He swallowed hard, breaking out in a cold sweat. “…What am I supposed to do?”

&3&

“…No! Don’t go in there!”

An attendant of the fourth squad froze, mid-step, as she made her way down the long corridor with a tray. “What? Why?”

Hanatarou rubbed the back of his neck, casting a forlorn glance back at the closed door. “He’s shut himself in there. I don’t think we should disturb him anymore tonight.”

“Surely he needs to eat!” Her eyes widened as she raised the tray for emphasis. “Besides, wasn’t Kuchiki Rukia just in there?”

“It was her suggestion that we leave him alone.” He sighed, looking around. “He’s not in the best state of mind tonight. It might even be… a little dangerous. Can’t you feel it?”

Her brows knit in concentration for a moment before arching upward in surprise. “Should we tell Unohana-taichō?”

“You heard him, Ayumi.”

The girl’s eyes widened in alarm. “U-Unohana-taichō!” She leapt back, barely keeping her balance. “I didn’t realize you were—“

“We’ll give him his privacy tonight.” The older woman appeared in the doorway of a different patient’s room, looking a little more downcast than they were used to seeing her. “He deserves that much.”

“U-Understood.”

&3&

No one expected him to be there the next morning.

‘Sound of Snow Falling’ - Taku Iwasaki

Darkened clouds rolled ominously overhead as everyone gathered in a large, ornate courtyard near the former forty-six. There was a distinct chill to the air as shinigami crowded around a large podium.

“We stand here to pay our last respects to those that were lost on the day of betrayal.” Yamamoto-taichō’s voice projected, despite the howling wind. With a curt nod at his subordinate,Sasakibe Chōjirō, he continued. “I will now read the names of those we honor for their sacrifice.”

Sasakibe gave a swift tug on a curtain of material. Wordlessly, he wrapped the fabric up and took a step aside from the memorial monument. It was made of darkened granite and marble, towering impressively over everyone. Inscriptions of names were etched into the slick surface.

Renji couldn’t even process the words of the ceremony as he stood there, the wind stinging against his neck. He could feel the comforting gestures from those around him, but it seemed impossible for him to acknowledge any of it. It was all he could do to stand there.

‘Why am I here? Isn’t this… admitting defeat?’ He stiffened as he heard murmurs of sobs around him. ‘…Have I failed to acknowledge the deaths of those in my own squad? Am I really that heartless? She would have been furious… no! I can’t keep thinking like that.’

Turning his head, he caught a glimpse of his own reflection in the memorial stone. It was easy to distinguish himself amidst the sea of others and it wasn’t only due to the distinct nature of his hair or the fact that he stood a head taller than most of the other shinigami around him.

When he turned to face the monument, he felt his chest constrict painfully. What he saw in his own reflection was… a broken man.

His eyes were dark and downcast, his shoulders slumped. He couldn’t bring himself to raise his chin, even after recognizing the disconsolate expression on his face.

“---Elethea. Missing In Action.” Yamamoto’s voice echoed across the courtyard.

‘Ellie,’ His mind automatically corrected for her, knowing how she felt about her given name. That’s when it really hit him.

There was a solemn pause and he could feel the weight of their sympathetic glances. It stung more than any injury he had ever sustained. Swallowing hard, he turned his eyes heavenward.

As if on cue, raindrops descended to the earth, slowly at first… making weak, darkened splatters on the pavement.

‘…Tell me you’re not gone.’ Soon, he found himself unmoving in a misty fog. Beads of water trailed down the stiff collar of his uniform. The fourth division had been kind enough to supply him with a new one, given that the one he arrived in was bloodied and in shreds. ‘Damn it…’

&3&

Following the ceremony, most had left the courtyard to grieve in their own way. For some, that meant drinking in the name of their fallen comrades. For others, it meant going to their place of solace and mourning the memory of the friends they had lost.

Still, there were those that stayed behind… unsure of how to go on from there.

Brushing his fingertips across the rough etching, a chill shot down his spine. Seeing her name there felt so final. ‘I cannot accept this. How can they give up so easily? Are we really nothing more than cowards hiding behind trembling blades?’ The wind whipped around him violently; tossing his hair. ‘I will find you even if it’s the last thing I do. After my part in all of this, I doubt I have a place here anyway. I won’t let anyone stop me.’

Someone cleared their throat behind him, breaking him free from his trance. Glancing over his shoulder, he took in deep breath.

“You are, hereby, relieved of your duties.” Kuchiki Byakuya stood there in all of his imposing glory, darkened strands of hair plastered to his face from the rain. It was quite the scene to take in, a man of his noble stature speaking so calmly amidst a downpour.

“I see.” Renji’s voice was deep and unsettled, but he didn’t dispute the verdict. After all, he had gone against orders and even drew his zanpakuto on his superior. What right did he have to stand among their ranks?

“I don’t want to see you back, working in your office, for two weeks.” With that, he spun on his heel and strode away, masking a limp as best he could.

‘…He’s allowing me to return?’ He blinked at the other man’s retreating form. ‘He came, though he should still be in bed.’

“There’s no helping it then.” His hand instinctively fell to his side, though there was nothing there. ‘Zabimaru…’ Sparing a final glance back at the memorial stone, he left everything behind.

&3&

“I kept it back here for you.”

“Thank you.” He rolled the hilt over in the palm of his hand, comforted by the familiar weight of the zanpakuto.

“You’re not planning to go… well, you know… are you?” Hanatarou looked up sheepishly, uncomfortable with the conversation.

His answer came in the form a long, cold stare.

“I didn’t mean anything by it! Forgive me!” He frantically waved his hands in front of his face in a defensive manner. “I just thought that maybe you should rest a little longer… your injuries aren’t quite healed and---“

“I’m fine.”

“But you can’t just---“

“I’m fine.” Something glinted in his eyes as he emphasized the last word, taking long strides toward the door.

“…If you say so.”

&3&

'The Price of Freedom' - Takeharu Ishimoto

Memories were flooding the depths of her mind as she lay there, unmoving on the floor.

“You hold your zanpakuto like you’re holding a sword in front of you.” His voice echoed, pulling her from a trance she had been trapped in for days. She could feel the warmth of his presence, all at once, behind her. “Your zanpakuto has to be an extension of you… your soul.” He took a single step closer, leaning over her petite frame.

She didn’t know why, but her heart was racing as he slipped his arms around her. Rough, calloused, hands closed tightly over her own, guiding them to the proper position.

Without another word, he pressed against her, forcing her knees to bend. Dust and dirt whirled around them as the wind picked up and their forms melded together into a single stance.

His breath felt like fire against her skin as his voice rumbled lowly in her ear, “You can’t just rush in and force these things. Feel it out first. You’re too stiff.”

She swallowed hard.

“Now, close your eyes.”

“This is stupid…” She sighed, slouching a bit.

“Close. Your. Eyes.” His patience had worn thin.

Complying with his demands, she let her eyes flutter shut and relaxed her stance. “Okay, okay! They’re closed.”

“Now.” He cleared his throat, adjusting his footing to shadow her position. “Concentrate …”

&3&

Inoue Orihime jumped in alarm as an arc of raw reiatsu sparked from around the blonde on the floor. She had knelt there vigilantly for almost a day, pausing for only a few hours sleep at a time. After all, she had been entrusted with their new friend’s care.

“I don’t know about you…” A voice interrupted her thoughts as the sound of wooden clogs clacked noisily against the floor, “…but this feels like a good sign.”

“Mr. Urahara!” Her eyes widened as she glanced over her shoulder, keeping a steady glow over the smaller girl. “How is everyone? Are they recovering?”

“They’re doing just fine.” His voice was smooth and reassuring as he knelt beside her, taking in the scene. “You’ve got one hell of a unique ability. One would almost say it’s---“

“…Kisuke. You’re not bothering her again, are you?”

“Yoruichi!” Orihime smiled despite her exhaustion as the black cat sauntered into the room.

“Don’t be ridiculous!” He tipped his hat to the feline as she carefully slipped between them. “I’m merely checking on the status of your patient. You haven’t been around for a day or two.”

“I had some… matters to attend to. How is she?”

“Well, she’s not a goner.” He rubbed the scruff on his chin thoughtfully, “Though, by all rights, she should be.”

“Nonsense. She’s been in good hands.”

At this, Orihime felt a blush rise to her cheeks. “Well, her condition has almost reversed itself. The deepest wound has closed up completely, leaving only a little mark.” She nodded forward in a directional gesture. “And just a moment ago I felt something spark!”

“Good. I’m pleased.” Yoruichi’s voice always sounded so distorted in that form. “You’ve done excellent work, Inoue. Go ahead and rest with the others now. I’m sure she’ll come around soon.”

She hesitated, lifting her hands. “…Are you sure?”

With a curt nod, the feline dismissed the human and moved to walk around the fallen shinigami. “Well? Haven’t you anything to say?”

“Hm? Why?” Urahara had flipped the fan out from the folds of his robe, covering his face mysteriously. “Should I be questioning your motives?”

“You haven’t asked a single question since I brought her here. It isn’t like you.” Her eyes followed the girl as she quietly made her exit and slid the door shut. “What’s going on in that mind of yours?”

“It wouldn’t be the first time you unexpectedly brought someone into my care. I assumed you would explain your reasoning eventually.” His eyes seemed to glow from behind the shadow cast by the brim of his hat. “Am I wrong to assume?”

She sighed, pausing to sit down. “I trust you’ve already caught the gist of the story already.”

He nodded, urging her to go on.

“As you know, once Aizen and the others fled, the kids were led to a part of Rukongai where the second battle had taken place. “ She hesitated, as if gathering her words. “Inoue Orihime immediately set to work tending to injuries, particularly Abarai Renji’s of the sixth squad.”

His expression didn’t change, suggesting that they had already relayed at least that much to him.

“Amidst the confusion of the rain and the aftermath of the… massacre, several of the squad members approached me on the verge of hysterics. ‘She’s not here!’ They shouted, looking around in a panic. Of course, this piqued my curiosity.”

“Naturally.”

The cat nodded. “So, as it turned out, the missing girl was the very same one that had assisted us in retrieving Kuchiki Rukia during the execution.”

His eyebrows shot up. “Plot twist!”

“Indeed,” she sighed, glancing at the young shinigami. “So, I spent the next several hours searching for her. From what I had heard, one of the traitors had actually thrust a zanpakuto straight through her in an attempt to finish off Abarai.”

He followed her gaze, turning to stare at the girl. “I see.”

“It wasn’t until much later that I was able to find her somewhere in West Rukongai, left for dead in the middle of a field.” She shook her head. “Her body was face down in a pool of blood. After the effort she had lent us, it was the least I could do to help her out.”

Urahara scratched at his chin again. “So, as not to attract unwanted attention, you simply waited and brought her back through the gate after the others had made their formal exit from Soul Society?”

She nodded. “From what I heard later, she was engaged in a fierce battle against someone Ichimaru Gin had taken in under his wing. If that is really the case, then making a big deal out of her condition could have prompted further action from their side. It wasn’t a risk that I felt necessary.”

“Well…” He pushed himself up off the floor. “Seems all we can do now is wait.”

&3&

Reaching out with almost methodic movements, he tugged at her collar to reveal bandages wrapped around her shoulder. “I swear…” He closed his eyes in a solemn vow, though the words came out in a harsh whisper. “I won’t let you get hurt again.”

“Don’t say that…”

“No.” His eyes opened slowly to reveal a lucid clarity. “I should’ve said it before.”

Her brows knit, unbeknownst to anyone at the Urahara shop.

“So, that’s it then? You don’t want me to fight because you don’t think I can do it?!” Her own voice rang out in her ears.

He snapped out of his stupor with a visible jerk. “W-What? No, I didn’t say that.”

“Then what is it?”

“I just don’t want you to get hurt.” He rubbed the back of his neck, taking a quick inventory of their surroundings.

“Isn’t that the risk we take when we enter into battle? I don’t get it. You’re willing to risk your life. Why can’t I?” she sighed, readjusting and tightening the elastic band in her hair.

His mouth formed a stubborn line. “…Because I care about you.”

Her body stiffened with a sharp intake of air.

He raised his arm hastily. “Ellie! Wait!”

She froze in her tracks, glancing over her shoulder expectantly.

His eyes widened in panic. “I… I think I’m in love with you!”

Her heart was forcing out a rhythm now as the color slowly began to return to her cheeks. The chill she had felt earlier started to subside as her chest fell and rose in an uneasy pattern.

“Ellie!”

Her heart pounded with renewed resolve at the sound of his voice. Her head jerked upward, all exhaustion forgotten as she struggled to lift herself up on one arm. “Renji…” More tears slipped past her defenses as her face lit up in amazement. “Renji!”

She had used her zanpakuto to stand, turning toward him with relief written on her face. “Are you okay?!”

His expression softened, despite the pain, as he watched her approach. “I’ll be okay, squirt.”

“I’m so glad!” Her lips curved upward into a genuine smile. “…But don’t call me squirt!” She laughed, shaking her head.

A single tear slipped down from beneath her lashes, staining the porcelain complexion of her cheek.

He turned to face her with regret in his eyes as Naomi raised her blade above his unmoving form. “RENJI!” She disappeared in the blink of an eye.

There was no time.

The only thing she could do was put herself between him and the threat to his life. Her own zanpakuto fell unceremoniously to the ground, embedding into the dark, murky earth. There was a flash of light as a searing pain ripped through her abdomen. Her eyes never registered the movement.

It was…

Her eyes shot open with a gasp.

&3&

All five senses seemed to surge at once in a sensory overload.

Her vision blurred and distorted as her eyes fixed on the ceiling in a blank stare. It was like being shocked back from the brink of death as she panted for air, her heart pounding wildly in her chest.

Muffled voices drifted in from elsewhere, but she was too disoriented to allow them to fully register. “Am I… dead?” She bit back a bitter metallic taste, twisting her features into a grimace.

“Yes.” A reply came quickly, without the slightest hint of hesitation.

Her eyes widened as she took in a deep breath.

“…But you were dead to begin with, so I guess it’s nothing more than a trivial detail.” Whoever was speaking sounded almost… amused.

“Dead…” Her chest rose and fell a little more steadily. “Where am I?” Though weak; her fingers twitched as if to grasp something that wasn’t there.

“You don’t know?” He leaned in, blocking the light from overhead. “You’re in my shop.”

“Kisuke…”

‘I know that voice…’ The blonde strained, bracing herself on the floor. “…Yoruichi?”

“Ah, so you’re awake. I hope you weren’t frightened by seeing that…” The woman strode in, pointing in the direction of the man at her side. “…first thing when you came to.”

“How am I…?” She pushed down on her palms, forcing herself to prop up in a sitting position. “I shouldn’t be here.”

The man smiled broadly. “Nonsense!” A floppy, green and white striped hat covered a mop of light blonde hair and covered his eyes in shadow. With an expert flip of the wrist, he produced a fan from somewhere within his sleeve and fanned it out between them.

“I brought you here.” Yoruichi knelt down beside them, tugging at the collar of her shirt. “I loathe these things…”She shook her head, flipping her ponytail behind her. “I was able to recover you from the battlefield and bring you with me to the world of the living. Inoue Orihime has concentrated her efforts on tending to your wounds since that time.”

“Thank you…” Ellie blinked, her eyes shifting uneasily between them. “You all went through all that for… me?” Her face was a mask of confusion.

“You were our comrade during the mission to save Kuchiki Rukia. Did you think we would leave you behind so easily?” The older woman sighed, sparing a glance over her shoulder as the door slid open. “Besides, you fought a tough battle from what I heard.”

The blonde paled visibly at the mention of it.

Light gleamed off of the protruding blade as slick crimson slipped down her hands. She could feel him stiffen beneath her, hissing in pain...

“No…” Her breaths started to come at irregular intervals once more. “No.”

“Ellie.” Yoruichi leaned forward, her eyebrows knit in concern. “Listen to me.”

Her eyes were shut so tightly in concentration that hazy colored dots consumed her vision. The searing pain of mortal wounds was intense, but fleeting. No, it was the oppressing sense of helplessness that was truly horrifying. His reiatsu had always been so strong… it pulsated in her chest alongside her own heartbeat. Yet now… now she couldn’t feel any trace of it as everything began to fade. ‘Renji…’

With wide, unseeing eyes, she tilted her head back and finally allowed an anguished cry to escape her lip. Her fists clenched at her sides as she lowered her head, breathing heavily.

“Ellie!” Orihime brushed past the others in the doorway, falling to her knees. “What’s going on?!”

“She’ll be alright.” Yoruichi lowered her voice in a knowing manner, not shifting her gaze. “This isn’t uncommon after a traumatic battle.”

“…but she’s in pain! Shouldn’t we…?” She brought her fingertips up to brush against the flower hairpins on either side of her head.

“These things take time.” Urahara cut in easily, his voice uncharacteristically serious. “It’s not---“

“Hey!” Someone barked from the doorway, crossing the room in quick strides.

“Ichigo, you really shouldn’t---“

“Hey…” He bent down, ignoring their protests.

Impatient as ever, he reached out and shook the petite blonde by the shoulder. “Look, Ellie, you’ve got to snap out of it if you want to figure out where we should go from here.”

The room fell silent as she turned to stare at him, her eyes glossy.

“It’s over, okay? The battle’s over.” Running a hand through his hair, he looked around for backup, but found none. They were all too enthralled to interject. “…Come on!”

&3&

The physical touch was enough to send her crashing back to reality as her eyes met his. “Ichigo?” She blinked several times, her fact contorting in realization.

He nodded, looking around again. Apparently the plan hadn’t been thought out beforehand.

“…Tell me what happened. …Please?” Suddenly more aware of her surroundings, the blonde anxiously scanned the room. “What happened to Renji?”

There was a loud sigh as Urahara clambered to his feet, leaning heavily on a cane. “He’s dead.”

Her heart stopped.

“…Back in Soul Society!”

There was a thud as Uryuu fell over in the doorway.

“Now that it’s in perspective, you have no reason to overreact over such a small setback! Though… he’s undoubtedly under the impression that you didn’t make it…” Urahara’s eyes crinkled from behind the fan in a cryptic manner.

“So, he’s… okay?” She was blinking again, trying to process the information.

“Very much so!”

“Then why…” She pushed herself up with both arms, standing on shaky legs. “WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT?!” Her eyes seemed to ignite in a frustrated, almost crazed, manner.

“My, my… what a lively one!” He chuckled, raising his eyebrows.

“SHUT UP!” She shrieked, lunging forward only to be caught around the waist.

…Ellie was returning to her old self again.

&3&

“So, what you’re saying is that you don’t know if it’s safe for me to return or not.”

“More or less.” Urahara yawned, idly sipping his tea.

Everyone had assembled in a different room to discuss how to address the situation. Sunlight projected through the thin, west-facing, panels, bathing the occupants in a faint glow.

Ichigo, Orihime, Uryuu, and Chad sat in a semi-circle around one side of the table, while Yoruichi, Ellie, Urahara, and his assistant, Tsukabishi Tessai, sat at the other.

Ellie had been given the luxury of some time to take a bath and clean up a bit first and Urahara had, so generously, supplied a gigai… much to her protests. According to her, it just felt “weird and squishy”.

Orihime had gone home and returned with some extra clothes and other items for her to use during her residency there. After all, no one knew for sure how long she would have to stay.

And with that, they were prepared to discuss options.

“…I’m expected to carry on with the charade that I was killed in battle? I can’t even contact anyone?” The blonde blinked slowly, trying to maintain her composure. ‘They’re only trying to look out for me… I just have to remember that. They went through all this trouble just to keep me alive and they’re giving me a place to lay low. I should be grateful, but…’ She sighed, running a hand back through her hair. The pale blue t-shirt that she had been given hung loosely on her petite frame, though the black running shorts were pretty comfortable. Truth be told, the attire made her feel a little exposed, given what she had become accustomed to wearing.

“We just need to better understand the situation first. Once we assess that you are not in immediate danger, we will report your status to Soul Society and make arrangements for your return. I don’t know if the fact that you were targeted was in relation to a specific purpose of Aizen and the others or not, but judging from how we were blindsided before… I don’t think it’s safe to make assumptions right now.” Yoruichi leaned back on her hands. “I know you’re probably worried.”

“I doubt that it had any part in their plans other than Naomi had a grudge against me.” Her expression hardened slightly. “…The next time we meet, she will die by my blade.”

Everyone was silent for a moment as she stared intently at the table.

“W-Wait! …My zanpakuto!” She looked up suddenly, her eyes wide. “I have to go back!”

“You mean this?” Yoruichi appeared at the doorway, holding what appeared to be a sheathed katana.

“How did…?” The blonde stared at the seat beside her which had suddenly become vacant. Her face lit up as she scrambled to her feet, edging around the others at the table. “Kyofu no Kusari!” She reached out and grasped it eagerly, pulling it to her chest. “How did you find it?!”

“It was lying beside Renji’s body, coated in blood. I could only assume it was yours after there was so much commotion about your disappearance.” The older woman shrugged, a smile playing at her lips. “I took it with me when I searched for you.”

“Thank you…” Ellie breathed, her eyes transfixed as she partially drew the blade. “You don’t know what this means to me.”

“Believe me…” Yoruichi stretched, walking back to reclaim her seat around the table. “I do.”

‘Maybe she gave you one of her nine lives...’

A grin crossed her features for a moment as she carefully made her way back to sit among the others, leaning the scabbard against the wall. ‘I don’t get it, but… I missed you.’

“Alright,” Ichigo pounded his fist on the table, getting everyone’s attention. “Where do we go from here?”

&3&

‘Not a trace of her anywhere…’ Renji was weary on his feet, stumbling through a wooded area somewhere in Rukongai. The sun didn’t penetrate the canopy of trees, leaving him to stumble blindly through the shaded darkness.

“OI!”

He jumped at the sound, raising his blade on instinct. For the past two hours he had slain anything and everything that had crossed his path. He hadn’t even bothered to sheathe his zanpakuto after a while, dragging it behind him in a trail of blood.

Pivoting on his heel, his blade met another in a clash of steel. He gave a low growl, jumping back despite the sore protest in his legs. “Ikkaku…”

The other man rested his sword back across his shoulders in a nonchalant manner, giving a loud sigh. “You’re one hell of a guy to track down, ya know that?”

“…What do you want?” His eyes were red from unshed tears and lack of sleep. Not bothering to wait for the answer, he turned and pressed on with his journey.

“What do I want?” The bald man echoed in disbelief, following after him. “What the hell are you doin’ out here?!”

“You know why I’m here.” He trudged on in a lifeless state. His hair lay limp around his shoulders, as if forcibly torn from the elastic that usually held it in place. Dry blood was caked up his forearms, though it couldn’t be distinguished how much of it was his own.

“Look, man… I heard about Ellie.” The third-seat of squad eleven rubbed the back of his head, suddenly feeling awkward about the situation. ‘Idiot! Don’t just come out and say it like that!’ He picked up his pace, coming up alongside his friend. “What I mean is, she wouldn’t want you to torture yourself like this and… uh…” He sighed. ‘Why didn’t I bring Rangiku or someone better at this than I am? I feel like I’m makin’ it worse. Hell, I drank all night trying to forget about it and I still didn’t come out any better. Who am I to give advice?’ Clearing his throat, he stopped in his tracks. “Look, I’ll get straight to the point.”

Renji hesitated, keeping his back to the other man.

“I overheard that Kuchiki-taichō was going to send for you and I didn’t want some sixth division grunt rushing out here to piss you off, so I came instead.” He looked away, trying to shrug it off. “Ya know… so I could piss you off instead.”

“I can’t go back.” The redhead tightened his grip on the hilt of his sword, taking up his stride again. “Not now... at least, not yet.”

“Well, what are you gonna do? Spend the rest of your years wandering around the place you swore to leave behind?” Ikkaku scoffed, doing his best to keep a solid front. “I lost a friend and you lost… something more. I get it!” He waved his hand for emphasis. “…But you’re a fukutaichō now. You have a duty that you can’t just ignore.”

“Watch me.” Renji growled, straightening his posture as he kept his eyes fixed on the horizon.

Gritting his teeth, Ikkaku watched the other man walk away. “Ya know… Ellie would be pissed if she saw how you’re acting!”

He froze.

“If she really is alive, then she’s strong enough to fight her way back and…” He took a few breaths to calm himself before he said anything too rash. “… and if she’s not, then let her rest in peace. Honor her memory by protecting everything she fought for!”

Renji’s eyes widened. ‘Ellie…’

Sensing the leverage he had gained, Ikkaku sighed. “Come on, let’s just… go back.”

Casting a forlorn glance into the distance, the redhead slowly turned to face his former mentor. ‘He’s right, but how can I leave without… without…’ His eyes lowered. ‘No, he –is- right… but how could he be right about –this- of all things?’

The defeat of a misguided will can sometimes be a shameful feeling.

…Without another word, they began the long walk back toward Seireitei.

&3&

“It seems that your sabbatical will have to be cut short.” Kuchiki Byakuya spoke calmly from behind his desk, lacing his fingers together.”I am reinstating your duties and assigning you to the real world. Given a strange fluctuation of power in the vicinity of Karakura, the town will be made your responsibility until further notice.”

“But, I…”

“That is all.” The noble began the tedious process of shifting through the paperwork that had piled up on his desk, signaling that the discussion was over.

&3&

“What do you mean… school?” Ellie’s eyes narrowed dangerously as she leaned back against the doorway the next morning.

“It will be a good opportunity for you to get to know Kurosaki and the others, since you’re going to be with us for a while!” Urahara’s eyes crinkled with mischief, shoving the bundle of clothes into the girl’s arms. “Thankfully, Rukia left an extra uniform behind. It should fit a bit better than one of Orihime’s would.”

“But, I…” she stammered, her eyes wide as he gently pushed her back into the room.

“Better hurry! ,” He said everything in one breath, smiling eerily. “Good luck!”

With that, the door slid shut.

&3&

‘Dodo Dance’ – Shiro Sagisu

“…And you are?” The instructor looked up from her grade book with suspicion.

“Me?” Ellie went wide-eyed and pointed at the guy beside her. “I’m his cousin...”
“She’s my sister,’ Ichigo answered at the same time.

They shared a look of panic and quickly corrected themselves.

“I’m his sister!”
“…She’s my cousin.”

Further panic ensued.

“Well, which is it?” She seemed slightly irritated as she tucked her bangs back behind her ears.

The blonde anxiously tugged at her skirt, feeling awkward in front of the students that were taking their seats. “I’m his cousin…” She glared up at the oblivious male for his interjections. “…though we’re so close that we feel like siblings.”

“Very well.” She waved them off without so much as an introduction. “Take a seat.”

&3&

‘Is this really what school is like in the real world? They just sit here and listen to this woman talk?’ Ellie sighed, drumming her fingers lightly on the desk. ‘How is this helping anything? I’m wasting time here, with people I barely know, when I could be training in preparation for whatever it is that is to come. That Urahara…’ She scoffed. ‘And Renji… what is he doing? I was so relieved just to hear he is alive, but I don’t know if I can comply with this plan any longer. I –need- to see him or at least… just hear his voice…’

-“WHERE ARE YOU?! COME OUT QUIETLY!”-

She sighed, burying her head in her arms. ‘Yeah… like that.’

Everyone else in the classroom stiffened, hearing the voice of some deranged man yelling from outside.

“That voice…” Uryuu muttered, turning his attention toward the window.

-“Kurosaki Ichigo! I know you’re in there and I am –NOT- in the mood for any games!”-

Tears stung her eyes. ‘It really does sound like him.’ She groaned into her arms. ‘Oh no… I’m hearing things now.’

“Ichigo, you know that guy?” Someone asked from the back of the room as several students moved to look out the window at the source of the commotion. “…That sixties hippie guy?”

-‘Don’t make me wait!’-

‘He’s haunting me…’ Ellie lifted her head to find that everyone had now fled to the windows. “What is…?”

“How nostalgic!” The instructor observed from a windowpane near the front of the classroom. “Kurosaki, is that your…?”

“Relative!” Ichigo pushed through the other students, darting toward the hallway.

“I see.” She nodded a few times, moving back toward her podium.

The blonde could feel the weight of their stares, those she had fought alongside of in Soul Society. Everyone seemed to be focusing on her, but she couldn’t figure out why they were staring so intently. Sparing a quick glance over at Orihime, she tilted her head to the side. ‘What are they…?’

The other girl looked as if she had seen a ghost, turning toward the window again before diverting her attention back to their instructor.

“Well, no matter!” The woman up front dropped a stack of papers down. “Let’s get back to your summer reports!”

Ellie frowned. ‘‘What is she…?’ That’s when it hit her. Traces of a familiar reiatsu tingled in the air, just barely tormenting the edge of her consciousness. ‘But this is…’

Morning Remembrance/ Soundscape to Ardor – Sagisu Shiro

A chair screeched as Ellie suddenly stood up, her eyes wide with realization. “E-Excuse me!”

&3&

Her heart was pounding in her chest as she ran through the hallways in a blur. ‘This isn’t happening, this isn’t happening, this isn’t happening…’

White sneakers screeched as she sped around the corner; one of her stockings slipped down around her ankle.

She burst through the double doors, shielded her eyes from the explosion of sunlight, and kept running. Her blouse was coming undone where she had tucked it into her skirt earlier that morning and her hair was playfully tossed about by the wind.

Ichigo skidded to a stop just ahead of her. It was so abrupt that she would have barreled right into him, had he not caught her by the shoulders. “You understand now, don’t you?” His eyes softened as he stepped to the side, leaning back against the building with crossed arms. “Go ahead.”

With a grateful smile, she took off around the corner.

&3&

Renji was craning his head to look up at the classroom windows of the school.

‘For someone spewing reiatsu, he sure is lax about all the unwanted attention that he attracts to this area.’ His eyes narrowed, though his heart wasn’t really in it. The anger, the impatience, the yelling… it was more to distract himself than anyone else. ‘Who am I kidding? I’m going through all the damn motions, but it’s not the same.’

His chest constricted painfully as a familiar presence seemed to close in around him. It was too much. He closed his eyes, swallowing hard. ‘Of all places to lose it… not here.’ The delicate scent of new blossoms lingered in the air tauntingly. His fist clenched at his side.

The sound of hurried footsteps lapsed into silence, coming to a stop just ten feet away.

He took in a sharp breath, feeling the pressure mount on his chest. ‘Stop, stop… just please stop…’

“…Renji?”

His eyes snapped open and he couldn’t suppress the shiver that shot down his spine. Painstaking slow, he glanced over his shoulder and felt his heart drop.

He wanted to say something. More than anything, he wanted to say something… but no words came.

The blonde took a step forward, the wind rustling her skirt. Her steps were slow, almost timid, as she crossed the distance between them.

His heart was pounding as she neared. Her cheeks were tinged pink and her bottom lip trembled slightly as she took the final step, falling into his shadow.

‘If this is just another hallucination… I want to die.’ He reached out hesitantly, almost afraid to shatter the illusion. When his hand brushed against her tear-stained cheek, he could feel the warmth radiating from her form. “You’re…” It was like he forgot how to breathe.

&3&

She licked her lips nervously, tasting the salty mixture of tears. Not a single sob had yet wracked her body, yet the years continued to fall as she stood there. “I’m sorry.”

His eyes widened even further. “Ellie…” Taking a step forward, he wrapped his arms around her and held her as if she would disappear at any moment.

Her face was pressed against his chest so forcefully that she couldn’t move, but, at the time, it didn’t matter. Slipping her arms around his waist, she took in his scent with a sense of longing.

His heart was pounding in her ears as a shudder coursed through his body. She felt him rest his head atop hers, pulling her even closer. Losing herself in his embrace, she heard him whisper, “…Forgive me.”

She laughed despite herself, pushing back. “How…” Wisps of blonde fell across jaded eyes as she shook her head. “How did we end up like this?”

“We fell in love.” The poignant answer, though truthful, took her by surprise.

She lowered her gaze. “I guess you’re right.” With a content sigh, she leaned back in his arms. “What should we do now? I mean, there’s so much I have to tell you and so much I need to hear, but…”

The corner of his mouth twitched upward. “I have a few ideas.”

Her eyes met his in a flash. “Renji!” Blushing furiously, she bit her lip and turned away. “What the hell are you wearing anyway?”

With a growl, he wasted no time in hoisting her over his shoulder and walking away from the school. “These clothes are popular in this world!”

She shrieked, her eyes impossibly wide as he carried her across the vacant lot. “What are you doing?!” The breeze shifted directions, giving the world a glimpse of her panties. “Put me down!”

“I lost you once. I’m not letting go again.” He chuckled at her discomfort, thankful that she couldn’t see the ridiculous blush creep across his features as her skirt fluttered against his chin.

“That’s sweet, but… wait! Where are we going?!” She growled, hating the fact that he could dominate her sometimes without even trying. Gritting her teeth, she hissed out, “Abarai-fukutaichō!”

He flinched, but never broke his stride. After all…

…they had a lot of catching up to do.

&3&

((A/N: carrietheninja – I’m really sad that it’s over! It started out as a suggestion from a reader of TCE and then it became, well, this. I fell in love with the interaction between the two and eventually ended up becoming too involved (as usual) in the story. :sighs contently: Thank you so much to all of my wonderful readers and reviewers. Cheesy as it sounds, if not for your support… I would have stopped a long time ago. I love you guys!

Thanks to Anna (Inazagi) for beta’ing this chapter. I know, I know! You guys are probably all thinking, “Carrie doesn’t use a beta!” TRUE! Final chapter = exception. So, send some friendly thoughts of gratitude her way. If not for her, we would have had some rambling going on here… XD

Swing past DeviantArt, if you can, and check out the fanart that denebtenoh did of Ellie and Kyofu! Then hop over to midnight-silence’s page and check out the All You Wanted piece that she did! (I'm sinistersmirk, by the way.) Seriously, I love them both. It’s just awesome. If you guys make anything, be sure to let me know! It just… makes my life. =) As always, questions, reviews, comments, suggestions, etc. are all welcome. Have a great weekend!

Leave me some love in the form of reviews! Maybe I can get motivated to post the TCE SEQUEL soon! …I wonder if this will eventually merit a sequel too. :ponders:))

[…I can’t believe it’s over.]