10 reasons why I shouldn’t write my life story

By Doug Penhall (never to be seen)

Ten reasons as to why I shouldn’t write my life story.

1 I stink at writing. Even in high school all my teachers said I was stupid when it came to writing, therefore, I wouldn’t be good at all. No publisher would want it.

2 I’m gay. That just about sums up why I shouldn’t write my life story. No one wants to read about a gay person.

3 My hair is perfect, even if it is modeled off of Lethal Weapon. That is a great movie by the way. I should watch it again.

4 I am an undercover cop. Doubtless that those stories would be good in a book. But only if the main character is hot…Like Tom Hanson….yumm….

5 I like getting into fights. That’s why the McQuaid brothers was my idea. I can start fights, the other dude will punch me first and I get to throw him out of the bathroom in his skivvies.

6 I did think about poetry, like that Rochester guy…what was his name again?

7 My poetry stinks. That is all there is to that one

8 I seem to be running out of reasons. …why I shouldn’t write my life story? No one would read it…wait…did I all ready list that one?

9 If my life story was interesting at all, it would be self published!

I10 don’t have that sort of money…so I guess that I shouldn’t write it.

10 reasons as to why I should read Doug’s Life History

By Tom Hanson

1 I love to read.

2 He’s my boyfriend, why shouldn’t I?

3 I don’t know, I kinda like to read about gay people. Especially Doug, he’s hot! Really hot! Especially covered in chocolate syrup and tooth paste!

4 I hate fighting, but I’m all for it when I need to be. Except when it comes to cleaning, then get the hell out of my way! Doug…did you get coffee on your paper??

5 John Wilmot the Earl of Rochester! Don’t you pay attention to history class?

6 Trust me, I have read your poetry and I think you may be good at something besides rhyming elephant with faucet!

7 I seem to be running out of reasons as to why I am replying to your list. I don’t know, maybe I could write it for you…

8 Please, don’t waste the money on self publishing. It isn’t worth the big bucks.

9 I suppose you could always make it fiction and make the main character yourself, just not let anyone know it. Hell, I would pick…me! Kidding, kidding!

10 Why I would read your life story…because then I could put it down when I get bored out of my skull….

(Again, kidding!!)

“TOMMY! WHAT THE HELL IS THIS!” Doug Penhall’s scream jerked his boyfriend from his sound sleep.

“What is what?” Tom asked.

“This list I just found…?”

“What? I thought it was good…” Tom shrugged.

Doug growled as he jumped on top his domestic partner; “Should I tell you my life story?” he asked.

“Sorry, it’s too early in the morning to be bored,” Tom giggled.

But it wasn’t for more….physical entertainment…

a/n – well, another writing prompt. List 10 reasons why you shouldn’t write your life story. I thought this was amusing….