“Can someone enlighten me why this involves getting stabbed in girl form?” Ranma stared precariously down the long blade, aware just how much it resembled a meat cleaver.

“Oh come on. It doesn’t hurt. What hurts are the hollows.” Ichigo rolled his eyes, but tried to have patience. At the time he’d done it, his sisters and father were on the verge of being eaten, and he had done it of his own free will.

“Oh yeah, now I’m completely reassured. Getting stabbed in the heart by some guy with a huge sword isn’t going to hurt, what’s going to hurt is after I turn into this Shinigami whatever and have to go hunt evil things that are trying to eat people’s souls. This sounds like so much fun, Akane’s going to be jealous.” He rolled his eyes, his tone dripping with sarcasm. “Whatever, let’s get it over with.”

They ‘got it over with’. Ranma found himself in a black, sleeveless uniform similar to the fighting clothes that he usually wore. He looked at the sword sheathed at his waist and pulled it out slowly. It was a little longer then most swords. He tilted it, looking at it carefully.

“So… these swords all have names?” he asked, marveling at how light it was.

Honestly, kid. Took you long enough. A voice rumbled faintly in his head.

“Whoa-what-who?” he yelled, and to less sensitive ears it simply sounded like a nonsensical babble. That is, is aforesaid ears were attached to eyes that could see the teenager at the moment.

Hahah! You’re confused? After everything that guy told you? Think. We all know your feet can break rocks but if you don’t think then it has no meaning.

“Oh right.” Ranma stared at the sword blankly.

Call me Kazetsume. The sword told him.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Ranma enquired.

Um… I think ‘wind claws’ or something.

“So it’s…Kazetsume?” he inquired.

The sword suddenly glowed and disappeared, only to reappear on his hands as a pair of steel gloves. A band of metal ran around his knuckles, with three wires emerging from it. Black fabric, adorned with steel wire, covered the rest of his hand, his last two fingers, and extended a little past his wrist. On his feet were similar devices.

Whoops. Sorry, forgot about the name thing. See, normally a Zanpaktou looks like an average old sword. But if the Shinigami wielding the Zanpaktou calls out its name, it takes on its own, unique shape, called ‘first release’. Then there are idiots like orange-head over there that just walk around with it in first release all the time.

“Does that mean there’s a ‘second release’?” Ranma asked. (By the way, the conversation is going on in his head, so Ichigo, Tawna and group aren’t just standing there watching him talk to himself. XD)

Smart guy. Kazetsume seemed to approve. Right. The first release, like its shape, has a unique ability that goes with it- take me for example. See those wires? You can move them like your hands and feet, and also hook things with them. As a plus, your punches and kicks should be more powerful. But there is a second release, or ‘bankai’ as it’s called. It uses up a lot of energy and isn’t used very often. Essentially it’s a ‘last resort cannon’ type thing. At your level, you could use it, but let’s play along with it for now and pretend you can’t.

“You know, you seem like an alright guy.” Ranma told Kazetsume with a grin.

Technically, a Zanpaktou tends to have a similar personality to the Shinigami using it. Heads up kid, here comes trouble.

Ranma tensed, getting into position. The hollow roared as it emerged from the barrier. (If you’re wondering, this is the one Relling slashed up, it ‘came back to haunt them’ you could say, after healing.) Remembering Kazetsume’s explanation, he extended his hand, and the wires shot forward, wrapping around the hollow’s horn. He yanked it back, and landed a nice hard kick to the back of its neck.

The hollow gave a screech and disappeared.

Ranma jumped and punched the air. “Alright! This rocks.”

Then there was a long, elapsed silence.

“Umm… how do you get back in your body?” He asked, sounding a tiny bit perturbed.

And now for something epic so you won’t hate me for not posting an Omake.

Akane screamed- she was bound to a tower, a dragon growling and snarling as it stared at the martial artist girl. (Dressed in a very frilly princess gown)

Kuno, dressed in full knightly armor, was about to charge at the dragon when a brilliant white gazelle leapt down from the background, landing right on top of him and planting it’s glowing silver hoof on the back of his head. “Okay, CUT!” It yelled. “Dragon, more fire. Akane, good going with the scream- you hit that shrill, hard-to-get note. Stage crew, spruce up the evil dragon’s keep a little- it needs to look eviler. Stick some plastic bones around here and there- put some blackened armor too. And Kuno? Get off the ground, you’re a disgrace to your part.” It snapped, standing beside him. He wasn’t particularly aware of when it got off him. It had a long, silky tail, and a brilliantly shining pair of golden horns. Its entire body was covered with black swirls, and its ocean blue eyes looked at him as if confused.

Kuno sat up in bed, blinking. The back of his head hurt. “Stupid dream-armor. It could not even protect the mighty head of the blue thunder, Kuno, from the goddess’ descending hoof.” He stood up.

Meanwhile on Kuno’s roof, Relling turned to look at his mistress. “You’re evil.” He told her.

“He messes with me, I mess up his heroic knight dreams.” Tawna folded her arms, literally glowing with smug amusement. “Hope he puts some ice on that and keeps the swelling down- I didn’t exactly tap him there.”

AND KUNO GETS SMASHED AGAIN! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!