Please review! Please review! Please review! Please review! Please review! Please review! Please review! Please review! Please review! Please review! Please review! Please review! Its not that hard.

Three years later:

Headlines Read: “Rachel Green, cross-over to film successful? Critics think so…” She read this with a smile on her lips. “They don’t know the brunt of it,” she commented to herself. She checked Yahoo, and MSN and found not all the opinions were positive but criticism was something she was used to accepting. “And today was a good day,” she said out-loud, and then laughed, “Mother, you’d be proud.” Then she turned solemn, “Father, though, you, I hope you burn in hell.” And then she broke her fast.

Not to far away, sitting and reading the very same article was Joey, and this is where he becomes directly involved in his life story. In the background his manager yelled at him, “Hey Joe!”

“Yeah?”

“You gotta find a new one.”

“Yeah I know…” he said dejectedly.

“What was the last one’s name again?”

“Angela.”

“Yeah. She was hot.”

“Yup.”

“We need someone hotter.”

“Huh.”

“Have anyone in mind?”

Joey picked up the magazine and showed the picture of Rachel to Charlie. “Her?”

“Joe. You can’t get her.”

“Why the hell not?”

“Because when you dump the other girls, then you can just walk on, and no one will ever know you were a jerk to them cause they’ll fade. But this one, she’s famous.”

“Well maybe I don’t dump this one.”

“Tell me the truth, do you really think that’ll happen?”

“Yeah. You’re right.”

The doorbell rings, and Joey goes to open it, revealing the mailman, who hands him a stack of crap. He takes it, and thanks him and then walks back to his chair.

“My first guest today not only has two Grammys but is also nominated for an Oscar for her upcoming movie, Clarity. Please welcome Ms. Rachel Green!”

She walked out smiling, in a tiny black dress, “Hi Oprah.”

“How you doing darling?”

“Oh I’m all sorts of good,” and then she laughed gorgeously, “How are you?”

“I’m good too. Okay, so first I need to clear some rumors up.” Rachel’s eyebrows raised.

“Just say yes or no.”

“Yes.”

“Wait.”

“Haha.”

“Okay. First one, you’re dating Joey Tribianni…”

“I wish.”

“Haha, okay number two, you’re first movie was really Sex Toy Story Two, a porn movie.”

“Damn, how’d that get out?”

She and Oprah shared a laugh.

“Okay. I really doubt any of these are true, but I do know one thing about you that is…”

She acts hesitant and a little scared, “What?”

“You’re on the cover of Esquire!”

Rachel laughs, “Oh yeah.”

“This is the sexiest woman alive ladies and gentlemen!” Oprah screams at the audience as they explode in applause.

The T.V. switches off.

“I swear I get horny looking at her.”

“You got to fight it Joe. There are a shit load of smoking hot girls for you to fuck, what’s the big deal?”

“She’s gorgeous.”

“Get over it. You’re 26, you got your whole life in front of you. Get over it.”

“Yeah. Okay.”

He sits there for awhile and then suddenly gets up saying, “Hey Charlie, take the rest of the day off, I’m gonna go for a walk…” and then he walks out the door.

Rachel Green sat in Oprah’s dressing room, fingering a picture frame of Oprah hugging Rachel’s last boyfriend. The door opens and Rachel suddenly puts it down. Oprah walks in and then swears, “Holy Shit.”

“Sorry.” She grinned, “I just wanted to talk to you, and they said to wait in here.”

“No it’s fine,” Oprah said back to her, “You just scared me.”

“Sorry.” She repeated.

“Don’t worry about it. What did you want to talk to me about?”

“Oh. I just wanted to thank you for having me on. I know I wasn’t your first choice…”

“Honey, no, you weren’t my first choice, you were better than my first choice. I didn’t even think we could get you!”

“Hah. That’s a bunch of bull, but thanks.”

Oprah grinned, “So what are you doing for lunch?”

She sat opposite the T.V. Mongol in a new restaurant in Chicago called Veerasway, eating sushi and just laughing about life in general. After awhile she excused herself to the balcony so she could take a smoke, and sat outside taking in the breeze for awhile, cigarette in hand. In walks Joey Tribianni. That’s strange, she thinks to herself, I thought he was in L.A. He sees her and suddenly walks towards her direction.

“Hey!”

“Hey.”

“Do I know you from somewhere?”

“Probably from Sex Toy Story 2,” she mutters.

“What?”

“No. I don’t think you do.”

He grins, “Now that’s modesty madam.”

She smiles to match his, “Oh?”

“Yes. You. Are one of the most famous people in this world.”

“Really?” she said, faking intrigue, “And who are you?”

“You don’t recognize me?”

“You know it’s really hard to when your flies open.”

His hands dart down to his zipper, which he found safely closed, but when he looked back up she was well on her way back to Oprah, and somehow in his hand he found a napkin with a number on it.