Why do we Love

Why do we love?

My name is Haruno Sakura and I´m in love. I like to be in love, because lots of people doesn´t even know this feeling, and I´m lucky enough to have loved, and have been loved.

My name is Hyuuga Hinata and I´m in love. Love is not a common feeling in my family… Or at least not the way I see it. I love my father, even if he prefers my sister, and I love my cousin, Neji, even if he hates me.

The person I love… Well, I´m not sure if he knows how I feel about him, or if he ever will, but I´ll keep on the feeling because I need it. After all, love is the only thing that makes my world shiny and happy.

I love a person, and he knows about it, but he doesn´t care. He left me, with my love and my pain, to live alone without him, just like I promised, because, even surrounded by people, I´m alone. Anyway, this love can´t just vanish in air, because it´s the only thing that keeps me breathing.

It has grown so much that now I could call it an obsession… Like Sasuke-kun´s one with his revenge. It keeps me alive, because I want to see his eyes one more time, and I want him to see how much I have improved just to get him back to the village; I want him to stop thinking that I´m weak and silly.

I live in a peaceful and pretty village, in a beautiful mansion with a big family. But I´m not happy. I don´t like to be forced to become stronger for someone else. That´s what I see in him, that he´s completely free. Naruto-kun is free to choose his way, he can do whatever he wants to do, but he chooses to train and train, harder each time, to become the best.

Love is a wonderful feeling. When I think in the person I love, I can easily feel like him, and imagine how the world would be if I were at his side. He would protect me, because I know he protects what he cares for, and I would give my life for him, because I´m ready to die for people I love.

This feeling is everywhere I look around. I see it everyday. Naruto loves me, but I just can´t love him that way. Hinata loves Naruto, but he just doesn´t realize it. Looking ever further, Kiba is in love with Hinata, and that´s why he chooses to ignore the fact that she´s in love with Naruto, and uses silly excuses whenever she gets nervous around my teammate.

But I don´t care if love is in this village, because mine has left the place. He left to seek power, to complete his goal. Before he left, he thanked me, but I don´t really know why. I´m completely sure that, if he ever comes back here, it will be just to announce that he has killed his brother and found a wife or something. It makes me feel remorse by having asked Naruto that favor, because he´s my friend, and whenever he tries to bring Sasuke-kun back, like he promised, he ends almost dying and apologizing to me… I hate it

I also see another quality in him. He keeps on with the promises he makes. Once and again, I´ve seen him fulfilling them: becoming a ninja, beating Neji, and, of curse, bringing back his best friend. That would make Sakura-chan very happy, because she loves Sasuke-kun.

I know Sasuke-kun is powerful, because Naruto always comes back wounded of their battles, and I always find a way to get into the hospital room and try to do something for him; I never let presents, that´s something other people do, like Sakura-chan and Ino-chan.

But it doesn´t matter, because I´m able to wait, until he gets out of the hospital, and until he comes back to it, to get inside his room again and perform all I´m able to do for him. Trying to put all my effort and hoping that one time, he will be awake when I get in the room, and realize that it´s me the one who heals him truly.

Whenever I think on “love” I always get to the same conclusion. It brings hate with it.

But there´s something wrong with love… if you´re prepared to love, you have to be prepared to hate, because those two feelings are always together and mixed and bonded with each other. But there are different kinds of love-hate.

Mine is what I call “the good kind” because I don´t hate as much as I love. When I think about it, I realize I just hate myself a little, because I´m not able to reveal him what I feel. But then hope comes again, telling me that he´ll realize some day, and I feel happy again.

And, especially this love. It´s almost poisonous, because I´m almost as full of hate as I´m of love. Whenever I think on Sasuke-kun, I feel happiness by a minute, because I remember his face… his eyes… his scent. But then an ugly feeling replaces happiness and paints my heart with sorrow and anger. I hate Sasuke-kun, because he left; then I hate Itachi, because he was the one who made Sasuke-kun the wary and angry person we was (and is).

Immediately after that, I focus my hate on Orochimaru, who offered him the power, what made him leave the village. Soon I hate his new team, that group of idiots that will never know him or care for him the way I and Naruto do. And, at the end, I always end hating myself, the silly girl who couldn´t make him stay. The one that was an annoyance for him and didn´t let him become the powerful ninja he was destined to be. But I can´t let people notice, Naruto and Kakashi-sensei would worry about me, and I don´t want that.

Walking around the village, thinking on his smile and the sound of his voice, everything seems brighter and happier than I really is. I feel free to smile to people, it doesn´t matter if they just look strangely at me. There´s Sakura-chan, walking towards me, probably on a chore for her mother.

There´s Hinata-chan… She looks so happy, probably thinking about Naruto again. She and her crush always make me think on my own. Great, now I´m listing all the people I hate, again, but I can´t let her notice, so I smile as sweet as I can.

“Good morning, Hinata-chan”

“Good morning, Sakura-chan”

There she goes… Hiding the world what everybody knows. That she breathes just because she is waiting the day in which she will see Sasuke-kun again. And hiding the world what I can see clearly. She´s trapped in the kind of love that hurts if it´s not mutual…

There she goes… Screaming to Konoha what they already know. That she´s in love, absolutely happy and wishing that, someday, Naruto will realize. And screaming to me what hurts me most… That I´m in a cage, which I call “love”, although it´s crosspieces are forged with pure hate.

My name is Hyuuga Hinata. And I love because, as to much other people, it provides me a reason to live, and it embellishes life itself. Hate is just something that comes with it, and we have to tolerate.

My name is Haruno Sakura. I love because I know no other thing. I´ve loved since a long time ago, and I´ve hated the same amount of time. To me, hate is a feeling that helps love to exist, because they can´t be separate.

I love because I can cling to it when I myself feel unloved.

I love because I can cling to it to regain strength and beat.

We hate when we love, and we love because we need something to cling to.