Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece, it belongs to Oda (and Toei and Funimation), the Crew of the Axe series belongs to the great and almighty kilnorc

Author’s note: Okies seeing as Oda had made I new omake for One Piece, I’d thought it would be funny to see how the characters from kilnorc’s fanfic series would handle it

Marchen time - Crew of the Axe style

Once upon a time, in a far off land, there lived three little pigs…

“Yo! I’m the first of the Three Little Pigs,” the eldest pig: Nirbuu said. She had short black hair, blue eyes and snout and her pig ears sat on top of her head. “I am the one who built a house made of straw.”

“Yo! I’m the second pig,” the middle pig of the trio: Sorbuu, said. Unlike his older sibling, Sorbuu was covered in blue fur but still had a snout and pig ears. “I am the one who built a house made of sticks! Oink oink!”

“And I am the third pig,” the youngest of the trio: Pinbuu, said. He also looked a little different as he was black and white. But still, like his brother and sister he too had the snout and ears. “I am the one who built a house made of bricks! HONK…I mean, OINK!”

The three little pigs lived happily together, until one day, the big bad drunken wolf came along.

“UHAHAhic HA-GARRhicRRRR…,” the Big, Bad, drunken wolf: Azugarr, growled, stumbling his way across the magical forest, heading directly to the three little pigs house. “What delicious looking little piggies. I’ll huff, I’ll puff, I’ll blow your houses down and gobble you up!”

Without hesitation, Azugarr turned around, with his back to the cottages, bending forwards a little, holding a lit match directly behind his ass (but not too close to catch fire). “Eight Gods Gas Flaming Festival!” he yelled out before letting out his gas, therefore unleashing a blast of fire, destroying everything in it’s path.

With the three little pigs houses destroyed, Azugarr was victorious, or so he thought…

Nirbuu crossed her arms, looking down at the badly beaten Azugarr. “You wanna throw your life away, huh…oink”

“Sorry about your leg…And your arm…and your other leg…oink.” Sorbuu apologized .

“Ah, pardon me, OINK!” Pinbuu said, looking down at the beaten wolf as well.

“I’ll rebuild everything…” Azugarr wept in pain. “Right away!”

Meanwhile, elsewhere in the kingdom. misfortunate princess: Devon White, made her way through the magical forest…

“Good day to you, birds of the forest,” Devon White greeted to a duo of passing birds. The princess had long blonde hair, ribbon on her head and wore tattered, patched up dress. “I am a princess, but my stepmother is jealous of my beauty and treats me horribly. And so, I left the castle. But someday, my prince charming will surely sweep me off my feet.”

“Then your wish shall come true…” A new voice came, the princess looked up to see a figure magically appear in front of her. The new figure, un clear if it was a male or female due to it wearing a dress, a big pointed hat, and twirled a staff in their hand.

“Fairy Godmother, Axecchi!” Devon White gasped before she suddenly finding herself surround by a cloud of pixie dust summoned by the godmother. This surprised the lonely princess at first, but then smiled softly as her clothes began to transform into something beautiful. “Stunning! It’s a Magical Miracle!!”

When the dust settled down, Devon White was now in a stunning dress, fit for a princess, with the glass slippers to match, along with a crown on top of her head and make up now applied to her face. “My, what a lovely dress, and these glass slippers…”

“Hahaha…” Axecchi chuckled as Devon Whit twirled around.

“Thank you, fairy godmother Axecchi!”

“No problem, you look…” Axecchi said before suddenly getting a proper look the “beautiful” princess for the first time. “Seriously creepy!”

Once the honest fairy godmother: Axecchi also granted Devon White a horse and carriage, the creepy princess was on her way to find her prince charming until she came across the three cottages belonging to the Three Little Pigs.

“My, what lovely forest cottages…” Devon White said out load, looking up cottages made of straw, sticks and bricks.

“Ooh, stay with us!” Nirbuu invited, leaning out the window along with her younger brothers. “We have plenty of rooms, oink.”

“We’re also building a house made of fish next door!” Pinbuu and Sorbuu happily pointed out.

Meanwhile, in the royal castle of the kingdom, Queen DJ was going through her usual routine of the day

“Chirror, Chirror on the wall, who’s the fairest of them all?” Queen DJ asked her faithful psychic girl in the mirror.

“It’s still Devon White,” Chirror replied yet again. “How many times are you gonna keep asking me that?”

“Well then…I’ll kill her with a poison apple!” Queen DJ evilly laughed, holding the apple in her hand.

About a day later, back at the three little pig’s cottages, there was an unexpected arrival…

“Devon White! Some lady was selling apples and we bright some delicious looking ones, oink,” Nirbuu said as Devon White looked down at the apples, or at least, what was left of them.

“My, what strangely shaped apples…it’s as if only the core is left,” Devon White wondered as three apple cores seat on a plate in front of her while the three pigs cheeks were full. “I’ll help myself”

But upon one bite of the core, princess Devon White fell into a deep coma

“Oh no! Devon White won’t wake up, oink!” Sorbuu fearfully cried out, running around through out the room.

Nirbuu knelt down beside the body of the fallen princess. “It looks like she’s been poisoned, oink.

If she were to receive a kiss from her true love, she’d wake up, oink.”

“Or…we could bury her, yes?” Pinbuu asked as he held a small shovel in his arms.

Little did the Three Pigs know, not too far away, a young Prince of a Neighbouring County: Prince Kirspri, also had been travelling in the magical forest

“Alas! I’ve dropped my Sai into the lake!” Prince Kirspri sighed, sitting by the lake, blowing a few strands of his short blonde hair out of his face, until suddenly an odd red creature appeared out the water, holding two different sais in it’s hands/claws.

“PUWWHAA! I’ve unexpectedly retrieved it!” Lake Lobster Goddess: Herchhu, yelled out. “Is your Sai this gold one? Or the sliver one? Or perhaps what you truly desire is me?!”

Prince Kirspri sighed yet again, hopping back on his horse, ignoring the Lake Lobster Goddess and ridding off yet again. “I shall have to make a diamond Sai when I return to the castle. Now where’s that godmother gone…”

After travelling for a little longer, Prince Kirspri had also found himself upon the three cottages of the Three Little Pigs, but only to find nothing but glum faces

“Oh? What troubles you, little pigs?” Prince Kirspri asked, concerned for them.

“Ah, if only she could get a kiss from her true love, oink…” Nirbuu sighed

“Devon White won’t wake up, oink…” Sorbuu sighed as well.

“Excuse me, but…do you have any fish?” Pinbuu asked, seeming a little more cheery than his siblings.

“If it’s alright, please let me see this “Devon White”. Perhaps I can be of service,” Prince Kirspri recommended.

So the three little pigs took Prince Kirspri to the resting place of Devon White to do the deed, but it was not until the Prince glanced upon the Prince’s face and said…

“She’s unlovable” Kirspri waved the Three Pigs off, making Nirbuu‘s and Sorbuu’s (and, even though she was meant to be asleep, Devon White’s) jaws drop.

While Pinbuu raised his little shovel yet again. “Let’s bury her!”

And they all lived happily ever after!

--

Dusty closed her book and smiled “THE END.”

Austin just continued to stare in silence, as he had been though out Dusty’s entire, bizarre, bed time story.

“THAT…was the stupidest story I’ve ever heard!” Austin said through his sign language. While Dusty just laughed and ruffles his hair a little.

“Yeah, it was a great story! Well, good night!” Dusty stood up from her sat beside the young cabin boy’s bedside and made her way to the door. But only to freeze in fear at the sight of the glaring eyes of all of her crew, except for DJ, who had tears rolling down his face.

“Dusty-chan…why did you make me the Queen?” DJ cried.

“You are…SO DEAD!!” Both the captain, Axe, and first mate, Devon, angrily yelled before grabbing hold of Dusty, dragging her out of the room.

Just managing to grab hold of the door frame, Dusty caught sight of Austin, who was still sitting up on the bed, watching the whole thing, calmly. “Austin! HELP ME!” she cried.

“…” Austin just silently blinked as Dusty suddenly lost her grip on the door frame and was dragged into the furious hands of the crew.

“Now THAT was a happy ending,” Austin thought, laying down on the bed and closed his eyes.

--

Author’s notes: Okay, I know that was a bit…blah. It’s just something I really wanted to write.

If you couldn’t tell already, these are the characters are, in other of apperance:

First little pig, Nirbuu - Niri

Second little pig, Sorbuu - Sora

Third little pig, Pinbuu - Pingu

Big bad wolf, Azugarr - Azu

Princess, Devon White - Devon

Fairy Godmother, Axecchi - Axe

Evil stepmother, Queen DJ - DJ

Mirror on the wall, Chirror - Chizuru

Prince Kirspri - Kirsty

Lake Goddess, Herchhu - Herman

Oh, and if you’re wondering they Pingu and Sora are talking in this story, simple answer: it’s a fairytale read by Dusty! lol

Please review!