Ways to annoy Edward Cullen

31 Ways to annoy Edward Cullen!!

Get Emmett to hold him down while Alice puts a pin ballet dress on him and makeup as well.

Say it was Bella’s idea.

Tell him that Bella has the hots for Mike Newton.

Photoshop a picture of Bella and Mike Newton to look like they’ve been kissing

Tell him that Bella is dead.

Tell him that all transport to Italy has been shut down.

When he finally gets to Italy, ring him up and tell him that it was a lie, and Bella was alive, and it was all Emmett’s idea.

Get Emmett to say “Who nearly dies because of the flu!?”

Invite all the werewolves down to the house for a big rave.

Give Bella a new perfume and say its called casual when really it’s crushed garlic.

Arm Bella with a hammer and a stake.

Blame Emmett.

Get it into Alice’s head that a Halloween party would be a great idea and tell her that Edward would look just dashing in a Dracula costume.

Say it was all Emmett’s fault.

Make all mountain lions go extinct (by some miracle).

Say Emmett ate them all.

Go up to Edward and hold a crucifix in front of you saying “Stay back foul beast!”

Put fake blood all over Bella to make him think that he has got over his human blood addiction over.

When he finds out blame Emmett.

Give Bella red iris contact lenses.

Yet again, say it was all Emmett’s fault.

Make Jasper do a three legged race with Bella.

Tell Jessica that Edward likes her, and invite her over to the Cullen’s.

Guess what we do next: Blame Emmett.

Get Alice to style Edward’s Hair into a Bram stokers Dracula style (see google images for a picture) while a newborn holds him down.

Spray it with the strongest hair spray on this planet so that it takes ages to get it off.

Say to him “Sure your not gay, Edward? You sparkle, after all…”

Say it was all Emmett’s idea.

Tell Charlie that Edward sleep’s in Bella’s room every night and tell him to check for fingerprints.

Tell Edward that Emmett told Charlie.

Last but not least: Get Carlisle to turn you into a vampire so that Edward a) cannot kill you. And b) will have you as an immortal annoyance forever more.