Author: insertwickedpennamehere PM
Bones inhales some marijuana, by accident of course, and guess who is left with the consequences? Booth. Yep. Booth gets to deal with a drugged Brennan. And Bones is saying some pretty interesting things. Rated T for slight swearing.Rated: Fiction T - English - Humor - S. Booth & T. Brennan - Chapters: 4 - Words: 5,080 - Reviews: 141 - Favs: 62 - Follows: 52 - Updated: 06-13-08 - Published: 05-17-08 - Status: Complete - id: 4262838
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Fourth and final chapter. Enjoy! Oh, and the italics are things that Brennan remembers.
Temperance Brennan woke up to the pain of a killer headache. She couldn't remember what had happened the previous night and she was wondering what she was doing on her couch in just panties and a tank top.
She got up to investigate and was startled by the sight of Booth standing in her kitchen making scrambled eggs.
"What are you doing here?" she asked, walking toward him.
He smiled, "Don't you remember Bones? Last night you and I made hot, sweaty, passionate love."
The anthropologist stopped dead in her tracks, and her eyes widen to twice their normal size.
Booth laughed, "Relax Bones, it was a joke. You and I didn't do the deed last night, though that's not to say you didn't want to."
Brennan ignored the last part of his sentence. "Booth, what happened last night?"
"Oh, so it's back to Booth now. What happened to 'Agent Sexy'?"
Brennan looked at him fiercely, "I'm warning you Booth. Tell me what happened."
Booth rolled his eyes, "Okay, fine Bones. But first, put some freakin' pants on."
Brennan glared at Booth as she found a pair of red sweatpants and put them on, "Better?"
"If by better you mean less distracting, then absolutely."
Brennan gave no reply.
"So, you don't remember anything that happened yesterday?"
"All I remember is investigating that jacket, then the rest is a blur," she said.
"Oh yes, the jacket. Well, it turns out that the jacket was coated in marijuana, and you inhaled it. Then, well, as you put it, your magical powers were created."
Brennan caught sight of Booth. "Booth." She managed to say in between giggles. "You have to," she stopped to laugh, "look at this," she said, and held up the jacket. "I think it has magic powers," she said in a very serious whisper.
Booth rolled his eyes, "Oh, it has special powers all right."
Brennan looked as if she couldn't quite believe herself. "Oh boy..."
Booth continued, "Anyways, after we discovered your 'Magic Powers' I took you back to your apartment, where I thought you'd be okay alone, but then I got your message."
"My message?" Brennan whispered, afraid of what she said on the voice mail.
Booth took out his phone and played the message. He couldn't help but to laugh as he heard it again and saw the look of horror on his partners' face.
"So, I'm assuming that's how I got this," she said, pointing to her elbow which had a band-aid covering it.
Brennan sighed, "What else happened?"
"I immediately returned here after I received your message, and found you in a closet."
"Yep, you were in a closet wearing a leotard."
"Bones, what the hell are you doing in a closet?" he said, then noticing her outfit he added, "And why are you wearing a leotard?"
"You Dumbass. I was in the closet because I thought you were Zach. The Evil Bastard is after my powers, Booth. Which means he's after me. Oh, and the leotard is my disguise. Duh!" she said, poking the F.B.I agent in stomach.
Booth held back a smile, "Hate to break it to you, but I don't think your disguise will do you much good."
"You're just jealous."
"Of your leotard? Nope, can't say I am."
"Yes, yes you are! You want a pink leotard!"
"No, no I don't." he said, "Jeez, where'd you even find that thing anyways?" He said, fingering the strap of the pink leotard
"For starters, get your hands OFF my disguise. Just because I arouse you, that doesn't mean you have a right to touch me."
As she remembered that last bit, her face went pale, "Booth..."
But Booth shook his head, "Don't worry about it, you weren't yourself." Then he added, "Besides, that's not even one of the worst things you said."
"You're a bastard, Booth."
He smiled, "I think you're cool too Bones. Shall I continue?"
"Well, after I found you we had a talk about how you came to own a leotard..."
His partner cut him off.
"Oh God, what did I say Booth?"
Booth shrugged, "I think you'll sleep better if you don't know."
The brunette scientist closed her eyes, desperately trying to remember what was said.
"No, seriously," the drugged anthropologist continued, not aware of how uncomfortable her partner was, "You should hear some of the things she says. This one time, she told me just to take you into a closet and have at it. And, sometimes, that offer doesn't sound too bad. Like, sometimes when I come over to your house, and you don't have a shirt on, I just want to jump on you. You really are quite the man Seeley. Seriously."
She let out an unintentional groan. This day was turning out pretty shitty. She sighed before asking her friend to continue.
"Well, we were talking for a while, and then you said you heard something. So you demanded we hide in your bedroom."
She scrunched her face up, and hit her head on the table "No…"
"Oh yes. Then you made us get into your bed and then you said..."
"Said what Booth?"
"Um, just some things about my ass"
"Fantastic." she said, wishing this were all a bad dream.
"Then E.B. came."
"E.B?" she questioned.
"Evil Bastard," Booth said, "Zach."
"Why are you calling Zach an Evil Bastard?"
"Hey! I didn't call him it, you did."
"But, why?" she asked.
"I don't know. Something about stealing your 'magic powers'."
"Anyways, after Zach came, things got kinda crazy."
Temperance Brennan came out of her bedroom at the sound of Zach's voice. She came armed with a pillow, a toothbrush, and a shoe. "YOU!" she said, pointing a finger at Zach, "Are here to steal my magic powers!"
Zach looked very confused, "Dr. Brennan, what are talking about? You must know that magic doesn't exist"
She continued, ignoring Zach "And YOU" she yelled, pointing a finger at Booth, "Why did you let him in? Are you two in cahoots to sabotage me? What the HELL Booth, how could you do this to me?"
"Bones! Simmer down. This isn't what it looks like," Booth said, walking toward her.
"Get away from me, E.B. Jr!" Brennan screamed, before throwing a show at him.
"Dr. Brennan, why are you acting this way?" Zach asked.
"Why am I acting this way? Because you want to steal my FREAKIN' powers! That's why!! You flippin' Evil Bastard think you can just waltz into my apartment and get what you want? Well, I've got news for you, YOU CAN'T!"
She remained silent.
"You alright Bones?"
She inhaled deeply, "I guess so, is there anything else?"
"Um, not really. After your little outburst, you reverted back to your nice drugged self, then you tried to hug the both of us, and then you passed out."
"Wow..." Brennan said in disbelief.
"Don't worry about it Bones," Booth said.
"I'm really sorry if I said anything inappropriate about you."
He stood up, "Nah, don't worry about it. I love being called Sexy Little Kitten." The look on his partners face was full of horror, and he had to hold back his smile.
"I'll see you later Bones." Booth said, exiting the apartment.
LATER THAT NIGHT
As Brennan tried to get to sleep that night she had another flashback that made it impossible for her to get any rest.
"Hey Boothykins, why do you call me Bones?"
"Haven't we already had this conversation before?" Booth asked.
"Possibly. But, I haven't been under the influ...influ..."
"Influence," Booth cut in.
"Yeah! Influence. I've never been under the influence of magic powers when we've talked about it though. So, why do you call me Bones?"
"Because, you work with bones." Booth said
"Oh. So, it's not because I give you boners?"
It's done! Yippee. It's been fun writing this and hopefully you guys enjoyed it. Reviews are always welcome. ;)