|Random Thoughts: Season three
Author: Kizmet PM
POV pieces set during the third season of "Angel". I decided to consolidate a few things.Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,620 - Reviews: 10 - Updated: 09-23-02 - Published: 10-05-01 - id: 426312
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
To Truly Love
Even though I joked with Gunn about how I should have gone
to Vegas I knew it wasn't true.
I could have brooded in my room just as easily as in a monastery.
What I needed, what I found there, was a fight to the death with little more than my life at stake.
I would have found battles in LA, when have I not?
I fought because I wanted to live.
Because in that moment of knowing, and in the weeks since,
all I wanted was to forget.
So I came home, to the place where I don't have to
Endless dreams where Buffy comes to me, sometimes in tears, sometimes in rage, always because I didn't love her enough to die for her, because I wasn't there to die for her when it might have saved her.
Of course James and Elizabeth would be the first demons I encounter on my return.
The only real pain James managed to inflict on me in his
ill-planned attempt at vengeance was when he said I could have loved her, not
if I could continue without her, but Cordy was right.
Maybe Elizabeth would have been impressed by what James did,
but she was impressed when James risked all of our lives for a trinket.
I know how Buffy feels about suicide; she'd never forgive me
for taking that path.
"The woods are lovely, dark and deep, but I have promises to keep…"
I have a mission and a duty, both to my friend and to the
It would be easier to give up, to give in, to let grief take