chiv-id: Oh my God, how long has it been since I updated this thing?!

Hellboy: (smoking cigar and leaning against wall) 'Bout a month...

chiv-id: You know I don't like smoking in my house, dude.

Hellboy: Don't call me 'dude'.

chiv-id: Okay, it's super late, my brain is half-dead, and I feel like my fingers are going to fall off. I hope you like this, enjoy!

Hellboy: (smirks) Too tired to do disclaimer?

chiv-id: (gives glare of death) Don't toy with me, I can make you wear a tutu.

Hellboy: (backs off)

chiv-id: Anyway, here ya go! 'I Hate Psychics', chapter 4: "Night in the Study"

I Hate Psychics

Chapter 4: Night in the Study

Phi’Nadell wandered around a bit before she finally asked someone where the room was exactly, finding that it was only a little ways from where she was in the first place. When she reached the study of the late Professor Broom, she felt his own eminence, the very respect that everyone had paid tribute to him reeking from every single particle in it. Phi’Nadell saw a small statue of him sitting in a chair with a book next to a desk, the golden name plate shining with the words, ‘Professor Trevor “Broom” Bruttenholm – Beloved Friend and Father’. The wispy hair, the kind old eyes peeking over the spectacles, and that wise look upon his face spelled it all: he was the driving force behind the whole of BPRD. Phi’Nadell decided she would have to research more upon this Professor Broom, having an innate feeling to discover more about this profound and great man.

“It is an honor, sir,” she said, bowing to his statue in respect.

“I see you have found his statue,” a voice said, making her stand up straight in alarm, but turned and found that it was only Abe. He was swimming in his tank, just as he said, which was installed in the wall of the study. Currently, he was wearing only black shorts, the water rippling so that the light that shined down through the water made wavy patterns on his back.

“Indeed,” she replied, brushing back a strand of white hair, “He must have been a man of great importance to have a statue of gold made in his honor.”

“Professor Broom was a good friend to all of us,” Abe confirmed, flipping on his back and swimming around like that, “And Hellboy’s foster father. We were all devastated when he died, but none of us more than Hellboy.”

“...I’m sure he must have died happy being surrounded by friends,” Phi’Nadell commented, looking back at the statue, but when Abe didn’t answer, she looked back, “Unless…”

“No, he died by the hands of a horrible man,” Abe drifted into an upright position, “His name was Karl Ruprecht Kroenen, an undead assassin who had an obsession with mechanics and was the head of the Thule Occult Society in Germany back during World War II. It was him who had killed Professor Broom, although I had heard that he received a just end from Hellboy.” Phi’Nadell’s breath seemed to leave her and she felt her insides freeze. An assassin…Hellboy hates assassins…and so does everyone else. How could she tell them her occupation after what she had heard? As long as her job remained a mystery, she was safe, and surrounded by temporary allies instead of grudging ones who would progress into enemies sooner or later.

“Mr. Sapien, may I call you Abe?” she asked, deciding to make friends while she could. He cocked his head, but conceded with a nod.

“Abe,” she began awkwardly, almost unable to believe that she was trying to befriend a psychic, “Please, tell me more about Professor Broom. No, not about his death, but his life. After all, if I’m to board here for the night, I might like to learn about the man who lived here as well.” She sat on a sofa which rested between the desk and Abe’s tank, loosing her hair from her pony tail which she had bound earlier that night.

“Professor Broom was an extraordinary man, he cared for all of BPRD’s inhabitants, including the more paranormal,” Abe gestured to himself, to which Phi’Nadell couldn’t help but smile. The psychic was more charming than she had expected, nor as willing to be informal.

“Such as yourself,” she said, playing along, “Of course, there is nothing quite as paranormal as that Manning I should say. Upon meeting him, he was the most ill tempered man I have ever met, and, well, his head looked as though it would pop from pressure! Did Professor Broom truly care for him as well?” Abe smiled at her.

“Yes, but they had their fair share of arguments,” he replied, beginning to swim around normally, “The Professor’s accomplishments exceeds the amount of years he has lived in fact. He was the first to be in the BPRD, and he has kept this whole operation going even when the government became skeptical themselves. Although, our presence should have been enough, I believe.”

“Seems as though you are the only ones who stand between chaos and order in this world,” Phi’Nadell smiled a little at this, “Fitting.”

“Why do you say that?”

“No, no reason at all. Only that it seems as though you all certainly do have more insight on these situations than others…”

“Are you implying something?”

“Well, do you not know where you came from?” To this Abe was silent, the bubbles from his gills drifting upwards in a lazy motion. Phi’Nadell continued to look through lidded eyes, her lazy look masking her observatory nature. Realizing that perhaps he didn’t in fact know, her small smile fell from her face.

“Do you know what you are?” she asked, crossing her hands on her lap in expectance, “Well?”

“I was found in the basement of a hospital,” he replied, her tongue finally stilling itself, “With this inscription on my tank.” He gestured to the little scrap of paper, ‘Icthyo Sapien’ it said, fish man.

“So…not a magical being like Hellboy, nor a gifted human like Liz,” she thought out loud, “But a scientifically-made man...are you sure?”

“No, but evidence would suggest the latter,” Abe sighed, floating around.

“Honestly, I thought you were a merman,” she smiled, “But I cannot explain the psychic abilities…unless…”

“Hm?”

“In the olden days, of when I was a child, it was said that mermaids and mermaid did not have beautiful voices with which they could communicate as like today. Rather, they were instead telepaths, beings who used their minds instead of their mouths, supposedly because their gills overlapped those areas.”

“I can assure you, I am no merman,” Abe chuckled, “See, two feet.”

“Yes, but, as the great evolutionary theory suggests, one feature must be sacrificed for another,” she replied with gusto, “Think: merpeople could not talk, and need not have talked because man had not existed or at least weren’t intelligent beings to the point with which they could have a decent conversation. All they communicated with were the fish, and it was much easier to talk to fish with their minds rather than their mouths which was only used to eat with. Now, because man has evolved so, and were rather skeptical of telepathy, merpeople have developed proper vocal cords and their gills have receded where yours are today.” Abe touched his gills in confirmation.

“However, it can be assumed that mermeople had no more danger than a tank full of sea monkeys. They were not harmed or disturbed because of the de-evolved humans, and so they could have the slower, more easily distinguished two legs, like yours,” Phi’Nadell continued, “Again, today, humans have begun to prowl the waters, in search of food from the sea, and push the merpeople unwillingly into shark-infested waters or who knows what. So, as a defense mechanism, they’ve melded their two legs into one, a fin, like their friends of the sea. Do you see my logic now?”

“Yes, and no,” Abe said, now extremely interested, “That does not explain why I have the ability to speak and use my telepathy at the same time.”

“You could perhaps be a merman caught between the two pools of evolution,” she suggested, twisting a lock of white hair around her black fingers, “Perhaps this is how science has played its role, but mixing the two evolutionary pools…and you were the result.” Abe became silent, again contemplating.

“How do you know so much about merpeople?” he asked, making her freeze. Phi’Nadell had gotten carried away, and she regretted it.

“Let’s just say that I come from a world that is caught between Earth and Hell,” she said mysteriously, “Not quite satanic, but not quite human either my friend. That’s all I will say for now.” She had to insert the ‘my friend’ part with a bit of difficulty.

“…Of course,” he replied, but she strengthened her mental barriers, just in case, “If you don’t want me to pry, I won’t, but I am intrigued by your words.”

“Indeed,” she looked up at the clock and found the hour late, “Well, I will bid you ado, Abe. If I’m to be fit and ready in the morning, I’ll need my sleep. Good night.” Trying to avoid eye contact and the conversation of her own history, Phi’Nadell quickly traveled to the stair case where she found that she was lost…again.

“Excuse me, just another moment,” she said a bit embarrassed, “I’ve no idea where the room is exactly…”

“It was to the left of where you were just sitting a few moments ago,” he replied, pointing to the grand oak door.

“…Yes, of course, silly me,” she muttered to herself as she darted back down and into the room, “Blasted psychic…” Phi’Nadell sank against the door in relief and exhaustion, but then realized that she had nothing to sleep in except the blood stained clothes…which also reminded her she needed a bath…

“Sorry, one more thing,” she said popping her head through the door, Abe waiting expectantly which made her cheeks turn a bit red, “The bathroom is…?”

“Waiting for you between the book shelves labeled ‘A through C’ and ‘D through F’,” he smiled at her, “I did happen to glimpse your dilemma.” She frowned at that and strengthened her mental barriers again.

“It has nothing to do with your thoughts,” Abe returned, “It’s your emotions. I can feel them, and despite your ‘barriers’, I don’t think you can barricade your emotions.” She sighed and closed the door, and managed to hurl an enormous amount of frustration at him. Then, she transformed into Abe to which she ‘listened’ for his own thoughts or emotions.

‘Hm, I think she might be mad at me,’ Abe thought, his mood somewhat curious and amused, ‘Then again, that’s how she’s been feeling all night…’ She morphed back into her dark skinned self and sighed, seeing as how she had let her feelings alert him to her dislike…and that made him laugh?! Phi’Nadell was a bit confused as why he would think her hatred for psychics would be amusing. Back when she was still a royal assassin (which she still thought she was), most would quiver in fear when they heard that Phi’Nadell herself was hunting them.

“The days of old,” she sighed as she pushed away from the door and to the bathroom, “When I was feared above all else…” Here, she was still a foreigner and still getting used to her surroundings. She was acting like some child, chatting away so amiably with strangers and so ignorant. How she wished she was still in the Underworld! Phi’Nadell looked to the bed and frowned at what was on it.

“In the name of the Gods…what article of clothing is this?!” Phi’Nadell picked up the skimpy black nightgown along with lacy black underwear, a white note slipping from its folds. She picked it up and read it, her frown growing.

“Dear Phi’Nadell, I know you don’t have anything to sleep in, so I asked an agent to drop off something. Yes, it’s mine, and you can use it. Have fun sleeping with Abe! Liz.” Phi’Nadell growled at the last sentence, knowing the implied meaning, “Yes…fun…of course…may your womb be rendered inhospitable for your joke.” Phi’Nadell tossed the note away, not meaning a word of her curse. Phi’Nadell carefully peeled off the bloody clothes and stacked them neatly in a corner of the room, trying to get blood on anything. She filled the bathtub with lukewarm water and lowered herself in it, washing all of the dead werewolf’s blood off her clothes.

“…To know thy enemy, one must become thy enemy,” she breathed in and out, calming herself into a state of relaxed tension, “Observation is key to one’s survival, and so I must endure this. Grant me strength.” Phi’Nadell concentrated, hard, and focused on each aspect of her new friends.

“First, the red man,” she softly muttered, her skin turning red and horns growing up on her head. However, instead of totally shifting into Hellboy’s form, she stayed in her female state, only gaining his talents and special gifts. Phi’Nadell stared at her now stone arm, completely feminized.

“Hm, super human strength,” Phi’Nadell closed her stone fist and then looked up at her horns, “Menacing appearance…” Phi’Nadell looked at the carvings that trailed down her stone arm to her chest and further.

“What do these symbols mean?” she bit her lip in pondering, but she sighed, “Perhaps another time…his visage is of the devil…perhaps he is liken to fire?” She looked to a few candles and she got up and out of the tub, grabbing a lighter that was nearby and lighting the candle. Bracing herself, she held her hand over the flame and felt no pain, confirming her observation. Suddenly feeling odd in her buttocks area, she glanced at the tail jutting from her backside and swung the appendage to and fro as a test.

“Interesting…the devil incarnate,” she sank back into the tub and changed back, “More research will be done later perhaps. Now, the girl…” Phi’Nadell saw her skin pale quite a bit, her hair turning black. She forced a flame into existence and it covered her entire arm. As it traveled down, the water started to bubble and Phi’Nadell quickly cut it off, morphing back and jumping out of the water, the scalding hot water burning her skin.

“Not the wisest of choices,” she scolded herself, wincing as she touched a hand to her burned side, “If that is all she possesses, that only leaves the last one…the psychic.” Phi’Nadell, however, decided to wait until the water was cool enough to morph, figuring it’d be better to be in the water. Phi’Nadell slipped back in, adding cold water to speed up the process, and focused again. Her hair receded, exposing a now rather large and blue forehead. Her hair became more focused in the back now, turning a dark blue. She opened her eyes and saw things a bit differently, as if she were using a large lens camera.

“Abe Sapien,” she muttered, looking at her webbed blue hands, pink on the palm, “I still believe he is a merman…” She looked down and sighed.

“I’ve messed it up,” she shook her head as she saw a long mermaid tail instead of webbed feet, “Oh well, this won’t change anything. I know that he can swim.” She felt a touch of uneasiness as she touched her neck, gills arranged delicately.

“He has the ability to breath over and underwater,” Phi’Nadell observed, then sank into the tub under the water, “…Water content doesn’t matter, he can filter out most contaminants I suppose…” She rose up out again and focused on her newly found mental abilities.

“Abe Sapien,” she mumbled as she focused and searched for his own feelings and thoughts. She caught his slightly sleepy thoughts, the fish man preparing himself for sleep.

“He can feel emotions, read others thoughts, and he can mind-search,” she opened her eyes again and sighed, “If he wanted he could look into this very room if he wanted to…” Self-consciously, she barricaded her mind and made sure that his mind couldn’t enter the room. Morphing back, she finished her bath and dried herself off, staring warily at the pajamas and underwear. Phi’Nadell slipped on the lacy panties, the black blending with her skin, then she put on the slip of a nightgown. It only went to her thighs and it hugged her body and showed off her curves.

“It makes one wonder what occasion she keeps this for…” Phi’Nadell chuckled, but then shuddered as she realized something, “Oh Gods, please let this be clean.” She slipped into the comfy bed and sighed, just cuddling into the softness. However, she opened her eyes a few moments later and morphed into a female form of Abe, sending her thoughts to Thrule.

‘I need to know…’ she thought, hoping he was all right. Her mind-search finally ended when she saw Thrule curled up and sleeping soundly. She sent thoughts and waves of comfort and calm, Thrule giving a lopsided smile. However, she felt her search interrupted by another force, and she felt Abe’s own mind watching with her.

‘Checking up on your friend, I see,’ Abe thought to her, and she mentally rolled her eyes.

‘Yes, nothing of your concern,’ she replied, continuing to look at Thrule.

‘You don’t like me much, do you?’ he asked.

‘No,’ she confirmed.

‘Then why did you talk to me before you went into your room?’

‘I was sincerely interested.”

‘In what species I was?’

‘Yes…and no, I’m a naturally curious person and I wanted to know more about the Professor. Now, if you don’t mind, I’m going back to sleep.’

‘Of course…’ Phi’Nadell drifted back to her body and changed back, slowly peeling the covers down, her body just a little hot. Then, she jolted as she felt Abe’s presence in the room, glaring at the nonexistent form that was there.

‘Oh, pardon me,’ Abe excused himself as he backed out, unintentionally having followed her back into her own room, ‘…Interesting choice of sleep wear, good night.’ Blushing a fierce red, she threw the covers off and stormed into the study, where Abe turned and looked at her with a slightly surprised expression, half expecting this.

“You…you…fiend!” she marched straight to the glass, “Leave me alone! You know my feelings for you and yet you persist in annoying me!”

“…I apologize if you feel my presence is annoying,” Abe replied quietly, floating down to Phi’Nadell’s level, “I just haven’t had company in this room for quite some time. Since the Professor’s departure…few have come here, including Liz and Hellboy.” Phi’Nadell stared into his deep black eyes and managed to get a hold of her temper. The fish man was just lonely, that was all, and that conversation earlier must have had some sort of longing effect on him. She had been too wrapped in her own worries, fears, insecurities, and whatever else that she failed to see his own, afraid that he might see them and so she acted rather rudely and vile towards him when he meant no harm.

“I see,” Phi’Nadell sighed and turned around, walking to the sofa and sitting down, “So…since I can’t sleep with you bothering me and you can’t sleep without bothering me, perhaps we should make amends and start anew. I am Phi’Nadell.” She bowed her head, a few white tendrils of hair slinked down off of her shoulder as she did so.

“And I am Abe Sapien,” Abe played along, bowing in his tank, “A pleasure to meet you.” For the whole night, Abe and Phi’Nadell had talked and she finally seemed to warm up to the cold-blooded fish man. For hours, they discussed books, literature, the human culture, and even their knowledge on various creatures, although Phi’Nadell continued to be careful to avoid his persistence in the subject of merpeople and where her knowledge came from exactly. Finally, when Phi’Nadell could feel her entire system shutting down, telling her to rest, she bid him ado.

“Good night, Abe,” she yawned, getting up and stretching a little, “It was quite pleasant talking to you for these past hours with an intelligent man, despite the fact you are a psychic.”

“I am going to guess that was a compliment,” Abe chuckled, “Good night Phi’Nadell, and do not worry, I will not invade your dreams.” Phi’Nadell laughed light-heartedly at the joke, no longer worrying about Abe browsing through her mind. She had learned that he was not the type of person who would raid someone’s personal space when they wanted, he was just too good of a person to even think of it, although many have accused him of it he had told her. Phi’Nadell walked up to the glass and smiled, pressing a black-skinned hand up to the glass. Abe slowly came down and pressed his own hand against the glass, matching hers.

“Acclinis falsis animus meliora recusat, abnormis sapiens,” she softly spoke, “Light is our enemy. Good night Abe, or we shall be drained of energy in the morning.” Abe nodded and she took her hand away, but she noticed that he kept his hand stuck to the glass where hers were. Waving good bye, Phi’Nadell retreated to the Professor’s old room and slipped into the bed, finally getting to sleep with her mind at ease.

“Acclinis falsis animus meliora recusat, abnormis sapiens,” Abe repeated after her, looking to his hand, “That is not what it means…” Abe drifted back and felt his eyelids close. He gave a secret smile, and Phi’Nadell smiled as well as if knowing that he’d figure it out.

“Acclinis falsis animus meliora recusat, abnormis sapiens,” he whispered one last time, “‘The mind intent upon false appearances refuses to admit better things, wise one’ by Horace…apology accepted Phi’Nadell…”

chiv-id: By the way, that's latin, and both of the phrases are real, written by Horace (whoever that is...):

1) Acclinis falsis animus meliora recusat The mind intent upon false appearances refuses to admit better things.

2) Abnormis sapiens Wise without instruction.

chiv-id: Isn't latin fun? Seriously though, the abnormis sapiens I thought was just too coincidental since that phrase sounds like Abe Sapien.

Phi'Nadell: Sam, are you all right, you seem a little...

chiv-id: What?

Abe: Your eyes are all bloodshot and your brain activity is near to flatlining.

chiv-id: ...Really? 'Cause I feel-zzzz...(snores loudly)

Abe and Phi'Nadell: ... (Phi'Nadell grabs chiv-id's shoulders, Abe gets her legs and carry her to the bedroom)

Hellboy: Well, looks like sleeping beauty's out, so I'll say this for her...give up your reviews and I won't have to shoot you with my Samaritan. I'm not a good shot, but I've got really big bullets, and as long as you're hear reading this I can shoot your ass up. So just try to get out of here without reviewing (cocks gun) ...I dare ya.