Author’s Note: In case you missed episode 91, season 6, Cartman drinks Kenny’s ashes thinking its chocolate milk powder. This causes Kenny’s soul to awaken and Kenny starts speaking through Cartman.

Sensual Possession 1

“Cartman, sweetums, I have a question for you,” said Cartman’s mom as they sat eating. Cartman suspected some kind of shit was going to go down from the especially well presented dinner. He only got this kind of meal when his mother had to break something to him.

“Yeah, what?”

“Sugar Pie, you know I love you no matter what.”

Yep, shit was going down alright.

“Please don’t be mad with mummy for asking, but is there a possibility that you’re attracted to boys?”

Cartman spewed his soda across the table. He stood up and began to yell. “You think I’m a fucking pansy flamer? Jeeesuuuus! Where did you get that idea?”

“Well, from that friend of yours who always stops by. What’s his name again?”

Cartman couldn’t remember the last time anyone had been to the house besides his mom’s boyfriend.

“I don’t have any idea what you’re talking about!” Cartman yelled before storming upstairs.

Cartman stared furiously at his bathroom mirror as he squeezed toothpaste onto his brush. He thought about the day’s events in school. He remembered walking Kyle to the nurse’s office.

“Stupid Jew-rat. You always manage to get yourself in some kind of shit with the football team.”

Cartman glanced down at the enormous amount of blood smeared over Kyle’s leg. He could easily be helping him, but he preferred to keep his distance. “I mean, how much of a dumbass can somebody be? You don’t fight jocks! You just don’t!”

“You have,” Kyle replied.

“Yeah, well I’m on the team with them, plus I’m three times your size.”

Kyle laughed. “You’re the fattest senior in the whole school.”

“I’m big-boned! Even if I was fat, it’d be better than being a wimpy little ano.”

“I’m not anorexic!”

Cartman knew he wasn’t. “Yeah you are. We’ve all heard you spewing in the bathroom.”

“I had the flu! That was months ago anyway!”

“Still, you shouldn’t fight with jocks.”

“You know what they called me!”

“So what? I call you a fag all the time.”

“Well that’s you! You’re…” Kyle looked uncomfortable all of a sudden. Cartman noticed that gravel was still stuck to Kyle’s leg from the fall. “You’re always trying to piss me off. I’m used to it.”

That struck a nerve. “It doesn’t bother you when I call your mom a big fat bitch? What about the fact that you’re a Jew-rat? What about you being a whimp-shrimp who’s too gangly and pathetic to make the football team with me?”

Kyle laughed. “Wow, you’re getting creative. Whimp-shrimp?”

Cartman didn’t like where this was going. Being unable to piss Kyle off was a little out of his comfort zone.

“Well then it wouldn’t bother you if I laughed at you for being a little rainbow-rider with your boyfriend Stan.”

Cartman smirked as Kyle glared at him. “Fuck you, fatass! Just because I’m gay doesn’t mean I want to screw every guy in South Park!”

“Oh so you don’t like Stan? Maybe it was Kenny.”

Kyle gave Cartman a funny look. “Why would you say that?”

Cartman felt a little confused at the look he was receiving. “To piss you off. Why else?”

Kyle looked relieved. “No reason.” His frown suddenly returned and he tried to kick Cartman but winced as he bent his hurt leg. “You shouldn’t disrespect the dead by talking about them like that.”

Cartman smiled and began walking again, Kyle following.

“Where you going, Jew? We already passed the nurse’s office.”

Tbc… Please review!