Dis/claimer: I don’t own Yu Yu Hakusho, its worlds, or its characters as that claim belongs to the magnificent Yoshihiro Togashi-sama. However, the plot and minor original characters, Hatoko and Naname, are mine as are any other original characters, poems, or songs written for Fractured: Phantom Flames.
Summary: Living someone else’s life for someone else’s sake finally takes its toll on Yusuke. When the fragile threads of this lie he lives unravels at the seams, how will he keep himself from falling apart? The answers lie in the phantom flames of his dreams.
Warning(s): Profanity. Some lime-ish scenes in this chapter, but nothing graphically portrayed—yet. Yaoi, malexmale sexual relations. Some yuri, femalexfemale sexual relations, in this chapter and probably mentions of it later. Angst. Somewhat dark—especially later in the fic. Any other warnings will be mentioned as they appear.
DO NOT READ THIS FIC IF THESE THINGS BOTHER YOU, OR IF YOU ARE UNDER THE AGE LIMIT OF BEING ABLE TO READ THE MATURE RATING! I won’t be held responsible since I have left you with warning prior to the start of this fic and rated this accordingly. And, note, all lemons WILL BE modified for my readers at fanfiction dot net.
Rating: Mature to NC-17.
Author’s Notes: I’m a bit rusty, so bear with me. This chapter is rough around the edges, which means I would love any and all constructive criticism to make it better. The pairing will eventually be revealed in the story, but don’t worry. It’s not going to be difficult to figure out. Also, I’d like to mention that I have no problem with women being together as this chapter may come off that I do. It might seem like I’m bashing Keiko as well, but that is not the case. I’m simply trying to…oh, wait I can’t say that! I’ll give the chapter away. Anyway, please read and tell me how I can improve.
Himi-san
P.S. This is not a YusukexKurama fic. You’ll know why I’m saying this after you read this chapter. Also, note that this fic is one of my many continuation versions of Yu Yu Hakusho. It could be considered AU, but that’s not what I’m calling it. If there’s something you think is a discrepancy, then by all means get in touch with me so that it, if need be, can be righted and/or confirmed.

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Fractured: Phantom Flames
Chapter One: Of Truth and Lies
By Ainohimitsu on May 22, 2008

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The soft click of a lock followed by the heavy clank of a ring of keys were the only sounds that sliced through the early morning as Yusuke stepped out of the office building he’d just finished cleaning. After shoving the keys into one of the many pockets in his grey work pants, he took the opportunity to take his I.D. off and put it into another random pocket before shrugging out of his work shirt and throwing it over his left shoulder. He fought off the urge to run a filthy hand through his sweaty, unkempt, raven locks, choosing, instead, to glance at the watch bound to the wrist of that said hand. The time read: 2:03 A.M.

“I’ll make it just in time for the 2:30 train.” Yusuke muttered, fishing around in another pocket for his fare to return home.

When he found said currency, he, then, used his hands to straighten out the white tank top he’d worn beneath his work shirt. While he was hardly dressed for a date with Keiko, he tried to, at least, look like a dirty guy getting off work who ironed, instead of one who didn’t. Well, techniquely, he’d never used an iron in his life, but that was beside the point. He was trying to show people that he had pride in his appearance although he wasn’t sure how many people would notice this at two o’clock in the morning. But when he said “people,” he really meant Keiko. He knew she wouldn’t want to marry a guy portraying himself as sloppy.

When Yusuke was sure he didn’t appear sloppy, he placed his hands in his pockets, ignoring the exhaustion creeping slowly over him. The thud of his dark boots against the sidewalk kept his concentration from slipping, for he walked toward the subway a few blocks away. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he knew he was passing skyscrapers and streetlights and other annoying city things. He also somehow knew that the moon was full at his back and that the stars bled to black in the sky. Soon enough, he found himself thinking about what he planned to do after he slept today.

He went to work early yesterday, but he clocked in at his scheduled time, 6 P.M. He had to stop by payroll to get his check before they closed at four. This wasn’t just another check he had to put in the bank after bills were paid. It was the deciding check with which he could finally buy Keiko’s wedding ring and propose to her the way she deserved. They’d unofficially been engaged for years, even on his promised return from the Makai when he turned eighteen nearly a year ago. He stalled their marriage because he felt he should ask her the right way, and he told her that in so many words. Yusuke wondered, not for the first time, if she was tired of waiting. Although as far as he could tell, she was okay with that. He kind of hoped she was content to just have him back…

‘Does she really want to marry this young?’ Yusuke asked himself for the thousandth time since his return.

He tried his best to ignore the one question that lurked in the darkest corner of his mind, but it was near impossible to do so in the deafening silence surrounding him.

‘Does she want to marry me at all?’ Yusuke refused to answer that question because, somehow, he knew the answer would break his heart.

He was glad to hear the screeching brakes of the train when he stepped down into the underground tunnel. They stopped his thoughts from approaching the coldness Keiko had been showing toward him lately, how depressed and restless he was starting to feel in the Ningenkai, and the fact that he might be tired of living a dead-weight life meant for someone he was not.

As he gave his fare to the conductor, he found himself doing what he was best at, next to fighting: not thinking at all.

--

With a relieved sigh, Yusuke unlocked the door to his flat. The place was small, but it fit him just right. It was one bedroom with a comfortable bathroom and cozy, little kitchen. The décor was dull and sparse although he wasn’t there enough to care. If he wasn’t working, sleeping, or with Keiko, he was training at Genkai’s. Not like it mattered, though. He had what he needed here, or, at least, that’s what he told himself.

He closed the door behind him before turning and locking it again. He shed his shoes in front of said door, and, then, he made his way toward the kitchen. Once there, he switched on the light over the stove, moving his way toward the fridge. Soon, he pulled out a bottle of mineral water and set it down on the bar. Then, he reached over and pushed the play button on his answering machine.

“You have four new messages. Press play to listen.” Yusuke pressed play, rolling his eyes at the automated voice.

“Message one. Thursday, June 2nd, 2007. 4:09 P.M. Press play to listen.” Yusuke bit back a smart ass retort complying with the stupid machine.

“Yo, as you can see, Urameshi’s not here right now, so leave a message, and I’ll get back to ya when I feel like it,” The machine made a brief beeping noise before continuing. “Yusuke, it’s Suiichi. I was wondering if we could schedule lunch this weekend. I’d say bring Keiko and Kuwabara, but this matter is for your ears alone. I really hope you’ll get back to me sooner than you feel like it, though. Call me on my cell. Bye.”

‘Kurama sounds worried about something. I’d better call him first thing when I get up. Hope nothing’s wrong in the Makai. Though, Hokushin would have contacted me by now if it was something that important…right?’ Yusuke pondered.

He deleted Kurama’s message and followed instructions for the next message to play. It was left only a few minutes before Kurama’s.

“Urameshi, pick up the damn phone! I know you don’t have work for another two hours! Stop being anti-social, or I’m gonna have to kick your ass!” Kuwabara’s rant incited a chuckle from Yusuke before he deleted it and moved on to the next message.

“Yu-suuu-ke? It’s mo-om. Just remindin’ ya to briiing your la-un-dry ooo-ver Satuuurday. We’ll have a beer or threeee whiiiiile you’re waitin’, huuun. Luuuh-ve ya!” Yusuke gagged when he heard the wet smooching noise at the end of her message.

“She was drunk when she called.” Yusuke mumbled, not even trying to wonder why she was drunk at three o’clock in the afternoon yesterday.

He really did love his mother, but he knew she needed to see someone about her alcoholism although there wasn’t much he could do about it…

Yusuke unscrewed the cap from his water before he pushed play to hear the next message.

“Hey, it’s Keiko. I was just letting you know that something came up. We can’t go on our date tomorrow night. I know you’re only off Fridays and Saturdays, but I’m sorry. This came up at the last minute, and it’s not something I can ignore. Please don’t be too mad.” Yusuke was numb by the end of listening to Keiko’s words.

This was the first time she’d ever backed out on a date between them. He did it when they were still in junior high, but since his return, he never stood her up. He tried not to think too much of it. If she had something important to do, then there was not much he could do about it. He’d just sleep for a few hours, call Kurama, and eat some lunch while he was out getting her ring. No problem. She was probably called in to work at the diner. Yeah. No problem. He’d just stop by and surprise her with the ring on her break!

Yusuke deleted the message.

Chipper again, he took three hearty swigs of his water before putting it back in the fridge. He made a quick stop by the bathroom, and, then, he undressed for bed.

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Warm. So warm. And so hard. Those arms that held him tight and firm. That chest sculpted by years of rigorous training. That stomach chiseled and toned. So hard. And those legs…those powerful legs that straddled him with such strength. So warm. So hard. And all his.

Yusuke knew he was beneath his phantom lover…the stranger who was familiar in these dreams. The phantom man who filled his emptiness inside. The stranger who gave him release where Keiko did not, could not. Yusuke knew this phantom from somewhere in his real life, but he’d never remember the man’s identity until he saw the man’s eyes…

Yusuke groaned when the stranger thrust deep into him from behind. He couldn’t think. Didn’t want to think. He just wanted to feel this moment. This pleasure. This pain. This man. He just wanted to be filled. To be whole.

A growl at his neck caught Yusuke’s attention, and he moaned at the anticipation riding down his spine. The stranger was going to claim him. A final thrust and the phantom man bit down on his neck. The pleasure that burst inside from the man’s last thrust coupled with the immense pain from the bite brought Yusuke screaming his phantom’s name, only he couldn’t hear what that name was. The stranger came inside him, not even a second after Yusuke’s release.

He lay panting beneath the stranger as the stranger licked the blood away from the bite on his neck. The man was gentle, treating Yusuke as a delicate thing to be treasured. In that small gesture, he’d never felt so loved in his life.

Yusuke tried to turn and see who was lavishing him with this strangest kind of love, but he couldn’t. There was suddenly an infuriating buzz ripping through his head and promising a very healthy migraine in its wake…

Yusuke slammed his hand down on his alarm clock, the blasted thing finally shutting up. He rolled over in his bed and groaned, pulling the covers over his head. He didn’t want to wake up, not with the stranger’s warmth and hardness lingering so close to his reality. He could sleep forever in those arms…

Right as Yusuke was about to doze off again, he heard someone knocking—rather loudly—at his door.

“Damnit to fucking hell!” Yusuke roared, throwing the covers off and stomping toward the front door.

Unlocking and opening said door, Yusuke’s agitation softened when he realized he was staring into the worried green eyes of his friend.

“Kurama, come on in.” Yusuke stepped aside and closed the door behind the redhead, noting the blush tinting Kurama’s cheeks as the fox attempted not to look at Yusuke.

“You sick or something, buddy?” Yusuke reached out to touch Kurama’s forehead, but the fox nimbly stepped away and turned his back to Yusuke.

“Not that I mind, Yusuke, but we’ve something important to discuss. You’ll need your clothes on.” The redhead commented, a nervous lilt in his voice.

“Okay…” Yusuke responded, uncertainty encompassing his tone.

He went to his room again, pulling out a black tank top and matching pair of sweat pants from his top drawer. He quickly slid into the garments after sliding into some boxers and socks.

Yusuke found Kurama sitting patiently, with legs crossed, on the couch. He noted that the fox wore a dark green suede suit, a grass green tie, and a white dress shirt underneath. Kurama wore black dress shoes and his red hair tied back to top off the formal look.

“Are you going on a date or something? You look great, man.” Yusuke wagged his eyebrows suggestively, grinning.

“I’ll pretend you’re not flirting if you’ll allow me to bypass that question, for I’ve come on short notice. The situation has become dire, and you must tend to it soon.” Kurama’s voice held something grave inside its melodious depths.

“Alright, alright, I’m listening, fox.” And he was because it was something big if Kurama was acting this way.

“Alaric is trying to overtake Tourin. Hokushin sent me with this message: Young master, while I can handle most that comes Tourin’s way without your presence, I cannot command our forces against Alaric. You must return as soon as possible. If my suspicions are correct, Yusuke, and how I wish they are not, Hiei is behind this.” Kurama’s calm helped to quell the storm beginning to rage inside Yusuke.

“But Enki…” Yusuke started, but didn’t know how to finish.

“Is trying with all that is at his disposal to keep Alaric from waging war on Tourin.” Kurama supplied.

“This doesn’t make any sense. Did Alaric make demands? Did it state its reasons for attack? And I thought Murkuro was in charge! What does she have to say about this? About what Hiei might be starting up?” Yusuke knew he couldn’t start panicking; he had to keep a sound mind.

“I don’t know those kinds of details, but Hokushin does. You need to get to Tourin as soon as you can. This is all I, or Gandara, will do to aid you as the heir of Tourin.” Kurama rose to his feet, Yusuke right beside him.

“You’ve done more than enough, man. You’ll keep in touch, ne?” Yusuke smiled although it didn’t reach his eyes.

“Of course.” Kurama nodded, giving Yusuke’s shoulder a gentle, reassuring squeeze before letting himself out.

The moment the door shut Yusuke collapsed on the couch, groaning. He didn’t understand why everything in Makai had to fall to shit when he was going to surprise Keiko with a real marriage proposal. He prayed it wasn’t an omen foreboding the death of their already dying relationship…

--

Yusuke dressed himself up to surprise his girl. While he didn’t go all out in a suit and tie, he had to say he still looked pretty damn good. He wore a pair of tight, black jeans, a casual black, button up shirt with sleeves, and a nice pair of dark, leather dress boots. His shoulder length hair was tied back and slicked with gel. His hands in his pockets, he pretended not to notice the heads turning his way when he walked into Hatoko’s diner, in spite of the smirk dancing on the edge of his lips.

Although no one would ever guess the truth, Yusuke was more nervous than he’d ever been in his life, especially after the events that transpired earlier in his day. Shaking his head of the Makai matter for the time being, he found himself squeezing the ring box in his front pocket for good luck. He slowly made his way to the counter where Hatoko herself was waiting on customers. The owner smiled when she saw him heading her way.

“Keiko’s in the break room, sweetheart. Go on back.” Yusuke nodded his thanks before following Hatoko’s directive.

Yusuke’s world narrowed to that short strip of hall. To the pound of his heart. He was finally going to ask her to be his wife…

Five more steps. What was that noise? It sounded like moaning in the break room. Was she eating chocolate? Three steps. The moaning was louder than his heart beat. That must be some damn good chocolate! He was beginning to wonder if Keiko was on her monthly—considering that was the only time she ate chocolate—because that would certainly explain her coldness toward him. Two more steps. He pulled the box out of his pocket, preparing himself. One step. He paused when he heard Keiko moan a name, but she didn’t say it again.

Yusuke stood in front of the door.

“Here goes nothing.” Yusuke muttered, pushing the door open.

The hinges creaked as the door swung wide, and the sight Yusuke saw shredded his heart to pieces. His deep, brown eyes pooled with that pain. Oh, not tears. But heartbreak. Shock. Betrayal.

He saw the blonde haired waitress, who Hatoko had once called Naname, fisting her hand into that one place that shouldn’t be touched without his permission. And Keiko was enjoying it! It wasn’t chocolate she was moaning about…

If his heart wasn’t shattering to hell and back right now, he’d say she was the most beautiful he’d ever seen her. Her face flushed. Sweat beading down her face to kiss her supple breasts. Her head thrown back in passion. She looked beautiful, and it wasn’t he who had brought her into that beautiful state…

He should be enraged right now, but all he could feel was pain. He turned his head to let the two finish, sticking the ring box back in his pocket. He’d talk with Keiko because an explanation was the least he deserved.

Moments later, he heard silence and knew they were done.

“Y-Yusuke…wh-what…h-how…” Yusuke couldn’t face her yet, but he could face the one who helped to steal away his childhood love.

“Yo, blondie, get out and close the door behind you. My fiancée and I have some things to discuss.” His intimidating glare leveled at Naname did the trick because she scurried out of the room half naked.

Breathing in deep, Yusuke found the courage to face Keiko. She wouldn’t look at him.

“Feeling ashamed? Well, you should. You could have, at least, told me you were into chicks before leading me on most of our lives. As it is, I wasted a year of my life working to get you a decent fucking wedding ring. I was gonna ask you for real tonight, but…” Yusuke trailed off and turned his back to Keiko.

He didn’t mean to sound so sarcastic. He didn’t mean to lay a guilt trip on her. But it hurt so fucking much! The tears were close now, but he’d be damned if he cried in front of Keiko.

“Just get dressed and get back to your shift. I’m sure Hatoko needs you out there.” Yusuke whispered walking toward the door.

“Wait, Yusuke, please…p-please…” Keiko’s voice cracked.

Yusuke paused in his steps, but didn’t turn to acknowledge her.

“I should have told you the truth sooner, but…but don’t pin all this on me! I waited years for yo—” Yusuke jerked toward Keiko so fast that she stopped in mid-shout.

Now came the anger. For fire blazed in his eyes as he stepped towards her.

“I came back to you like I promised. I came the fuck back to someone I was willing to give up everything for, including myself. My desires and dreams. I came back to live some other fucker’s life. All for you, Keiko. And now it seems I did it all for nothing…” The damn inside him broke, and he knew he had to leave.

She couldn’t—wouldn’t—see him cry.

He was a blur as he ran from Hatoko’s diner.

He didn’t know where he was going; he just had to run. The rain started pouring once the first tear drop fell from his eyes. The pain in his heart. The burn in his legs. The sting of raindrops against his skin. All of it ran together in his reality. Something was fracturing inside him…something he might never be able to piece together again.

When, at last, he stopped, he found himself dropping to his knees at the base of the steps leading up to Genkai’s shrine. He slept there that night, weeping the last tears he’d ever cry for his childhood love.

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End: Chapter One: Of Truth and Lies
Next: Chapter Two: Of Hope and Despair

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To Be Continued…