(A/N: A clerihew is a simple four-line poem where the first line rhymes with the second line, and the third line rhymes with the fourth line, regardless of meter

(A/N: A clerihew is a simple four-line poem where the first line rhymes with the second line, and the third line rhymes with the fourth line, regardless of meter. This type of poem was made famous by the 20th century British author Edmund Clerihew Bentley. Most often, the subject of a clerihew is a famous person or character. I learned about clerihews from the December 1997 issue of GAMES Magazine—Kappa Publishing—where they had a contest to make up clerihews about one of the Games 100 and Electronic Games 100 of the year 1997. Each of the Arthur clerihews has the first line be a name of the character and an epithet. The second line of each clerihew rhymes with the epithet. Each clerihew expresses what I thought about season 1 before season 2 aired.)

Arthur Read, Average Eight-Year-Old

Has had many stories told

About his orycteropine self

Which, originally, could only be found on a bookshelf.

D.W. Read, Arthur’s Little Sister

Is said to be as annoying as a blister.

What annoys me is the lack of episodes featuring Spanky,

Toady, and Blankie.

Francine Frensky, Rude Girl

Is likely to hurl

Insults at Arthur like “Four-Eyes” and “Baby”.

Will her attitude ever change? Hopefully. Maybe.

Buster Baxter, Lazy Bum

Says that he’s dumb

And that he wants to be like

His “Big Brother” Mike.

Muffy Crosswire, Pampered One

Thinks you can’t have fun

When you’re poor,

That it’s such a bore.

Alan “The Brain”...What’s His Name?

I’m up to a guessing game.

They better not leave it anonymous.

He got eliminated at “fear”, will he ever get to “autochthonous”?

Sue Ellen Armstrong, Globetrotter

Used to live where it was hotter.

She’s good at martial arts and playing the alto sax,

So watch your backs!

Binky Barnes, School Bully

Is fully

Persuaded that he deserves all the food he took.

He refuses to admit that he has ever read a book.

Fern the Shy Writer

Entered a poetry contest because they delight her.

Encore!

This character I’d like to get to know more.

(A/N: Aardvarks are of the family orycteropidae. Autochthonous is the winning word of the 2004 Scripps National Spelling Bee.)