i

“Neku, it’s just sex,” he tries to explain, but Neku blushes anyways, fidgeting nervously with his lanyard. Joshua is both surprised and amused by how nervous Neku is about this kind of thing – not what he’d expect at all.

“Here,” Joshua volunteers, reaching for the shirt. His hand brushes Neku’s accidentally, and he feels Neku shiver. He slides Neku out of his shirt, fingertips lightly grazing Neku’s chest. Neku bites his lip, but he reaches out and unbuttons Joshua’s shirt. He’s painstakingly slow, but Joshua lets it be.

ii

“Do you still trust me?” He breathes, lightly nipping Neku’s ear. Neku practically writhes underneath him.

“Well? Do you?” He asks again, nibbling gently on Neku’s neck.

“Yes,” Neku hisses, as Joshua swirls his tongue in the hollow of Neku’s collarbone.

“You shouldn’t,” Joshua says, distracted momentarily. He gives Neku a small, petulant frown, and sits up.

“Don’t stop!” Neku demands, outraged, and sits up as well, pushing Joshua off of him. Then Neku is kissing him fiercely, and Joshua decides to drop the subject.

iii

“Joshua, Joshua, Joshua” Neku chants, and if Joshua wasn’t so preoccupied, he would have been interested to know that this was one of the first times that Neku had said his name.

iv

Two o’clock in the morning, and Joshua is jolted awake. He reaches for the light switch, and then remembers that Neku is asleep with him. He can feel Neku pressed into his back, warm and soft.

He rolls over onto his other side, careful not to wake Neku, repositioning himself so that they’re lying face to face. Then he drapes his arm over Neku, and, resting his forehead against Neku’s, closes his eyes. He can hear Neku breathing, his breath hot against Joshua’s lips. The smell of Neku, mixed with the lingering scent of sex, fills his nose, and Joshua is content enough to fall back asleep.

v

“Why shouldn’t I trust you?” Neku asks, and Joshua is honestly surprised that Neku remembered – he had certainly forgotten.

“You shouldn’t trust anyone, really. It sets you up to get used,” Joshua keeps his tone mild as he sips his tea. “It’s good advice, especially for you, Neku.”

“That’s not what you meant and you know it,” Neku snaps, but it’s only half-hearted.

“I thought you trusted me.” Joshua pretends to be wounded, and Neku rolls his eyes.

“I thought I wasn’t supposed to.”

vi

Joshua hadn’t really been planning on sleeping with Neku again, but evening finds a determined Neku in his bed, and Joshua can’t really say no.

“Do you trust me?” Neku asks, but Joshua doesn’t answer.

vii

“Neku, Neku, Neku,” Joshua is moaning, and Neku almost takes it as an answer to his earlier question.

viii

Neku doesn’t wake up early enough to see Joshua sleeping – something he has, admittedly, always wanted to see. By the time he’s up, he can smell tea and hear Joshua moving around. He has a shower, hoping it will help ease up the soreness. He feels melancholic this morning, and he doesn’t know why, but he’s blaming it on Joshua.

ix

Neku is sulky and sullen and brooding over his cup of tea, feeling both immature and justified at the same time. Joshua doesn’t pry, doesn’t even ask which makes Neku even angrier with him. It’s when Neku is doing the dishes – Joshua says that as long as Neku is his guest, he might as well work – that Joshua whispers into Neku’s ear:

“I do.”

-

Author's note: I'm looking for a beta reader ): Like woah. Like, I really need a beta. If you can help, plz email me or mention it in the review.