Author: Follow-The-Firefly PM
Mello loved Matt more than anything. That's why Mello had to end it all. MattXMello with other side pairings. Rated T for cutting, suicide attempts and abusive parents. lemon later on.Rated: Fiction T - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Matt & Mello - Chapters: 37 - Words: 83,667 - Reviews: 540 - Favs: 147 - Follows: 149 - Updated: 06-30-10 - Published: 05-24-08 - id: 4275503
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note
Hey! Zephyr here. I'm still alive and with a new name! I'm SO sorry this took a year to get out. Between college and writer's block, this just didn't get written. Plus I had to be in the right mood to write it. It'll be obvious later. Before this, I have a few notes:
1. Okay, this is seriously more emo than I am. I did NOT intend for it to be this way. I know this is EXTREMELY unrealistic and I'm really hating myself for this, but I can't just veer off course so far into the story. So I guess it'll remain angst ridden until the end. Don't like it? Don't read.
2. I'm aware that the characters aren't very IC. Mello doesn't eat chocolate and Matt's not a smoker. I didn't know a whole lot about DN when I started writing this, but I know that's not an excuse. I'd love to start writing it in now, but it's far too late for that. So the characters are being OOC, but I'll try to get them as IC as possible from now on.
3. Many of my readers have said that there need to be more females: that's why Sakuya's in the story. I'm trying my best not to make her a Mary Sue, but I'm afraid that's what she's become. That aside, I hope I'm not being sexist and excluding the females from this story.
4. I realize that there are a TON of contradictions and things that are seemingly impossible. However, in order to fix them, I would need to rewrite the entire story, which I'm far to lazy to do right now, especially with being so busy at college. So unless I get around to fixing it, ECHO will remain as is.
I think that's about it. Keep in mind that I wrote the end at almost one in the morning, but it should be coherent. For the record, the chapter title is the literal English translation of one of my favourite songs by DBSK. The Japanese is Dōshite Kimi o Suki ni Natte Shimattandarō. It's great, so look it up! So let the deadly tale continue!
Matt woke up when Sirius started licking his face, clearly trying to wake up his owner. It took the gamer a few minutes to wake up completely and he had to listen to several songs by Disturbed before he was ready to start the day. Matt wasn't looking forward to school, but it was a Friday, so there was always the weekend to look forward to.
"Any plans for today?" Angela asked when her son walked into the kitchen.
"Probably going to hang out with Mello after school." Matt said, opening the cupboard and grabbing a breakfast bar. "Why?"
"You've been hanging out with Mello a lot lately." Angela said, taking a sip of her coffee.
"Because he's my best friend." Matt said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Would you like me to hang out with L and Light, too?"
"You haven't been with Near in a while, either." Angela mused. "Is everything okay with him?"
"I guess." Matt shrugged. "I still hate his guts for lying to me."
"He wasn't very good for you, Matt." Angela commented.
"Obviously." Matt bit into the breakfast bar. "I'm going over to Mello's, then."
"Okay." Angela said. "Don't forget I'll be at work today when you get home."
"Got it." Matt said before walking out the door.
When Matt arrived at Mello's house, he didn't bother knocking before walking inside. Mello had told him that Matt didn't really need to knock before coming inside in the mornings since Patrick wouldn't be home. The afternoons, however, were a different story.
"What's up, Mello?" Matt asked, walking into the small kitchen.
"Not much, Matt." Mello said. "Just glad it's Friday."
"Aren't we all?" Matt grinned.
"What game did you play last night?" Mello knew Matt well enough to know that the redhead had been playing video games until early morning.
"Devil May Cry 3: Dante's Awakening." Matt said.
"For the third time?" Mello raised an eyebrow, grabbing his bottle of anti-depressants from the top of the fridge.
"Seventh." Matt said nonchalantly.
"And I'm still stuck on the first one." Mello rolled his eyes before taking his pill and tossing the bottle back on top of the fridge.
"You'll get past it." Matt said.
"I know I will." Mello said, grabbing a piece of toast from the toaster.
"Let's get going." Matt said. "I want to get first block over with."
"It's not that bad with Ayame gone." Mello said as he grabbed his backpack and followed Matt out the door.
"But we still have Saki to deal with." Matt replied.
"Saki's only really bad when he's mad." Mello shrugged.
"And fortunately that doesn't happen that much." Matt nodded.
"God, we'd be in some deep shit, wouldn't we?" Mello said.
"Mello, will you please stop playing video games and get to work?"
Mello's teal eyes looked up from his DS and found Aiden staring at him, the annoyance obvious in his eyes. The blonde was meant to be in charge of camera two that day, but the anchors were still receiving instructions from their teacher.
"What is there to do, Aiden?" Mello shrugged. "I can't really do anything while everyone is crowded around the anchor's desk. And furthermore..." he continued, "Haven't you noticed that Matt's not working either?"
And indeed, when Aiden looked over to the other side of the room, he saw Matt sprawled out on one of the couches playing Lunar Knights on his DS.
"Matt, why have you corrupted Mello?" Aiden sighed.
"I didn't corrupt him, Aiden." Matt leaned his head back so he could look at the other teen.
"I played a lot of video games before I moved here." Mello had returned to his game. "I just happened to find someone who like them as much as I do."
"Or more." Aiden muttered under his breath before stalking off to the control room.
"I think he's mad." Matt said, a smile forming on his lips.
"Just a bit, huh?" Mello laughed in response.
"So what game are you playing?" Matt asked, flipping over to his stomach so that he could properly talk with Mello.
"Fire Embalm: Shadow Dragon" Mello replied.
"Good game." Matt nodded. "What part are-"
"Let's get going, people!" L came out of the control room, handing a set of scripts to the anchors and Matt and Mello.
"It's about time, L." Mello said, taking the paper from the raven.
"The printer wasn't working." L said defensively.
"Someone tell Matt to turn his camera on." Sakuya yelled from inside the control room.
"Cool it, Saku, I can hear you through the headset." Matt sighed.
"Well, I figured that you couldn't hear me." Sakuya apparently had put her own headset on. "And why Saku all of a sudden?"
"I just felt like it, okay?" Matt shrugged as he watched Mello adjust his camera.
"You know that that's one of Dir en Grey's more violent songs, right?" Mello's eyes were on the gamer.
"She doesn't need to know that." Matt grinned.
"I heard that, Matt." Sakuya apparently had heard.
"Calm down, Sakuya." Matt said.
"Sakuya, are you directing today?" Mello asked.
"Yep." Sakuya replied.
"Good Lord, head for the hills." Came Light's reply from over the headset.
"Light, why do you have a headset?" Sakuya frowned.
"Because I'm bored." Was Light's response.
"So go find something to do." Mello said, his eyes on the focusing screen. "Wanna do my English homework for me?"
"Yeah, you can do mine for AP Euro." Matt offered.
"I'm not that desperate." Light said.
Matt laughed and went back to his video game, the emerald eyes focused on the screen in front of him.
At that moment, Saki came out and announced that everyone was meant to be quiet because they were starting a run-through. It took about fifteen minutes to get a good recording, which didn't leave Mello and Matt with very much video game time before going to English.
English was very uneventful that day. They worked on translating pages from The Picture of Dorian Gray, which no one was excited about.
"I swear, why do we have to take English?" Matt complained as he translated his assigned pages.
"Because most of the world speaks English?" Mello raised an eyebrow.
After English was AP Psychology, which was just as boring as English. Aiber gave a lecture about the development in a child's brain, which Matt completely slept through.
"Were you awake at all during today's lesson?" L asked as he followed Mello and Matt to the cafeteria for lunch.
"For the first few words." Matt admitted.
"I wonder about you, Matt." Mello rolled his eyes.
"Like the rest of us don't wonder about you?" Matt's eyes were on the blonde.
"What do you mean?" Mello frowned.
"Well, ever since you tried to kill yourself, you've been acting strangely." Matt explained as they passed a group of freshmen.
"Especially around Matt." L chimed in.
"Not really, L." Matt said.
"I'm fine, guys." Mello assured them. "I promise."
"If you say so." Matt didn't look like he believed Mello.
When they reached the lunch table, they found that Misa was still clinging to Near, who looked rather annoyed.
"I wonder why he hasn't ditched her yet." Mello whispered to Matt.
"I heard that, Mello." Misa glared at the blonde.
"So any plans for the weekend?" Light asked as he took his seat next to the raven.
"I'm going to go to Mikami's for a bit." Sakuya answered as she popped the tab of her Coke.
"Mikami's?" Mello, L and Light asked in surprise.
"Yeah, he wants to try to be friends." Sakuya explained. "Which is a good thing, I guess."
"That's always the hardest part." Matt nodded.
"Because you have so much experience in these matters." Light rolled his eyes.
"Well, Matt has had a lot of boyfriends." Near pointed out.
"Well, that's comforting." Mello thought to himself.
"Thanks for bringing that up, Near." Matt glared at the seemingly albino teen.
"Just thought I'd mention it." Near shrugged. "And it's true, you know."
"You including yourself in that list?" Sakuya asked. "You did go out with him, you know."
"It was a dare, though." Near pointed out.
"It was still over a year, so I'd consider it." L said.
"I don't like to admit it, but I agree." Misa nodded before taking a drink of Pepsi.
"Dude, if your girlfriend is agreeing, then I'd say you're part of the list." Light said before biting into a hamburger.
"But I'm not gay!" Near exclaimed. "Or even bi!"
"But you still went out with me." Matt pointed out.
"I'm assuming you kissed him, right?" L raised an eyebrow.
"What's that have to do with anything?" Near asked.
"Did it feel weird for you to be kissing another guy?" L asked.
"Duh!" Near exclaimed. "It's not like I liked it!"
"So you're saying that I don't kiss very well?" Matt looked annoyed. "Thanks a lot, Near."
"How did we get on this topic?" Misa asked as she bit into an apple.
"I couldn't begin to tell you." Mello shrugged.
Later that night, Matt was online when Chase of the Highway echoed throughout the room. It took him a few minutes to find his phone, which was on his bed underneath Sirius. It seemed that the calico cat liked to sleep on electronic devices.
Matt opened the flip and learnt that the text was from Mello. It contained four words.
Meet at the creek?
Matt frowned, wondering why Mello would want to go to the creek behind the nearby park at almost nine at night. After a series of texts, they agreed to meet by the docks near a small pond.
"Who knows what he wants, Sirius?" Matt said to the cat as he pulled his shoes on.
Sirius opened his eyes to glare at the redhead for interrupting his sleep before promptly closing his eyes again.
"Okay, fine by me." Matt rolled his eyes before leaving his room.
After leaving the bedroom, Matt went down to the living room and found Angela watching the news.
"Mom, I'm going to meet Mello at the creek. Apparently he wants to talk about something." Matt said.
"Okay." Angela nodded. "Just be back by midnight."
"Got it." Matt said before heading out.
Mello sat on the docks, his dangling feet kicking back and forth. He was surprisingly calm at the moment, though he knew that would change as soon as Matt got there. He knew what he wanted to say. The question was whether or not Mello would actually remember to say them.
"What's up, Mels?"
Mello turned around and saw Matt walking towards him, his emerald eyes looking confused.
"I need to talk to you, Matt." Mello said.
"Okay." Matt said slowly as he sat down next to Mello on the dock. "About what?"
"I don't really know where to start, actually." Mello said nervously.
"Well, the beginning is usually a good place." Matt smiled.
"I guess, yeah." Mello laughed. He looked at Matt and said, "Do you remember how I was before we became friends?"
"You were more emo than anyone I'd met." Matt nodded. "Why?"
"Well, if it wasn't for you, I don't think I'd be the person I am." Mello explained, brushing his hair from his aquamarine eyes.
"I don't know if I played that big of a part, but okay." Matt said.
"You were the first person I told about my family." Mello continued. "No one else besides Mikami knows about my father and my past." He sighed and said, "Life at home might not have been great, but I always knew I could come to you if I had any problems."
"And I'm glad you were finally able to talk to me about it." Matt said.
"You know that song from Staind?" Mello asked as he looked into Matt's eyes. "It's Been Awhile?"
"Yeah." Matt nodded. "What about it?"
"That line." Mello said. "It's been a while, but all that shit seems to disappear when I'm with you."
"What are you talking about, Mello?" Matt was obviously confused.
"When I was around you, Matt, I forgot about my father." Mello explained. "I forgot how bad my home life is. Being with you was like a haven for me."
"What are you trying to tell me, Mello?" Matt asked.
"Remember when we were at the convention?" Mello asked. "When you kissed me?"
"How could I forget that?" Matt asked. "What about it?"
"It's like the line of the song." Mello said. "It's been a while, but I can still remember just the way you taste." He looked at Matt and said, "To this day, I remember the way you kissed me."
"Is that why-" Matt started to say.
"So I guess I'm taking the long way of saying that I like you." Mello said nervously. "And by like I mean taken with you."
Both boys were silent after Mello's confession. Matt was trying to piece all of this new information together and Mello was waiting for Matt's response.
"So I was right..." Matt said softly.
"About what?" Mello raised an eyebrow.
"Your suicide note." Matt looked at Mello. "Your poem."
"Oh." Mello said slowly.
"The last sentence is 'I'd rather end my life then have you suffer because of a kiss', isn't it?" Matt asked. "You knew Patrick wouldn't like it if he found out that you kissed me. So you wanted to kill yourself before he found out?"
"Kind of." Mello said. "Not really."
"Then explain." Matt asked, his emerald eyes serious.
"If we ever started going out, my father would try to destroy you, Matt. I can't let that happen." Mello said. "I wanted to go out with you, more than anything, but I didn't want to put you in danger. Instead of having you get hurt, I'd kill myself to save you." He looked at Matt and said, "But, as you know, things didn't exactly go according to plan."
"But there's always a chance that Patrick wouldn't find out about us." Matt said. "If we were to keep it secret..."
"How would we know he- wait a minute." Mello stopped suddenly. "Are you saying what I think you're saying?"
"I'd say so." Matt nodded before pressing his lips to Mello's.
It was exactly as Mello remembered. The way Matt tasted, the way their tongues slid together, it was the same as their first time. But this time was different. This wasn't for the sake of cosplay. This was real.
And that's how this was different from their first kiss. Though this was their second kiss, this was the first one with meaning, with real feelings and emotions behind it.
"This can't end well." Mello said softly, breaking away from Matt.
"Have more confidence, Mels." Matt wrapped his arm around Mello's waist. "Things won't always turn out badly."
Mello looked at Matt for a few seconds before resting his head on the redhead's shoulder and saying, "I hope you're right."
It's about damn time! I've been waiting to write that last scene for AGES! I can hear all the MXM fangirls now. ^_^ Now you can see why I was waiting for the right mood to write this. I hope it was up to everyone's expectations. I'll try to be quicker updating, but I'm leaving for the beach tomorrow, home for a week, then heading off for Korea and Hawaii for two weeks. Then I have a little less than a month before I start my second year of college. I'm the entertainment editor for our newspaper now, so I won't have a lot of time. But I write whenever I get the chance. So don't be surprised if I don't get to update in a while. Hope this was worth the read! Reviews equal love! Zephyr out.
Next chapter: who will discover Matt and Mello's secret first?