Disclaimer: The only things I own are the computer I'm typing this on and the plot. Everything else belongs to Square Enix.

As he crawled through the ventilation ducts, only one thought flashed through Reno's mind: he was royally screwed. As a Turk, it was not easy to upset him this badly, but aggravating the most formidable member of the Shinra Corporation to the point of murderous rage was one of the ways to do so. It had been an accident that Sephiroth's quadruplicate paperwork for the higher-ups caught fire, but nooo, the General hadn't believed him. Perhaps left-over paranoia from last week's incident with the anthrax threat and the exploding shredder?

But anyway, that was why the second-in-command of the Turks was to be found crawling around in the air ducts, inhaling dust and who knows what else.

As he inched sluggishly forward, curses flooding the air with every passing second, Reno thought he felt a slight shift beneath him, but dismissed it as nerves. Shaking his head, he continued his tedious journey through the ventilation system.

"It's not even ten yet . . ."

Elena sat down, coffee in hand, ready for another fulfilling day of . . . paperwork. The newest Turk sighed. When she had signed up for the elite Turks, she had expected adrenaline-inducing life-or-death missions, not hour upon hour of producing identical sheets of paper that inevitably would be put in a folder and never looked at. What she would do for a bit of excitement . . .

She regretted this thought almost as soon as it entered her mind. Above her, the ceiling gave way to a flood of industrial steel, wiring, plaster and . . . Reno?

---

The redhead landed squarely on top of the blonde Turk, knocking the wind out of her, and practically flattening her. As the plaster rained all about her, she heard Reno let a few choice words escape from his mouth. Spluttering in anger, Elena looked up at Reno, who was currently sprawled on top of her.

---

---

Tseng was looking forward to relatively quiet day at the office. His past few weeks had been nothing but torture, and he meant that literally. He had been captured by Wutaian rebels while on a mission, and tormented in the most inhumane ways possible. Yes, a few days of filling out forms and putting his signature to documents that needed his approval sounded very nice indeed.

However, when he opened the door to Elena's office to briefly converse with her, he found a most disturbing sight. Reno was lounging atop of Elena in a thoroughly indecent position.

Generally, when you see a woman you care for being straddled by a man who is also your friend, your brain stops working and your mouth unhinges. Therefore, Tseng said one of the most awkward and unhelpful things he possibly could have.

"Uh . . . am I interrupting something?"

---

Sephiroth was livid. That idiot Reno burning his quadruplicated paperwork for Scarlet, and then a report coming in from the field that Shinra's forces had lost a strategic battle in the war with Wutai, and then Zack informing him that the coffee was decaf . . .

---

This must be hell on earth.

The General stalked through the hallway, almost daring someone to come and try something, anything. He desperately needed to let out his anger, preferably by murdering someone. As he went through a mental list of possible candidates for the honor of becoming stress relief, one person kept popping to mind: Reno. The man was responsible for most of this, after all . . .

His target decided upon, Sephiroth set off at a run.

The hunt was on.

Reno looked up at Tseng, confused beyond belief. One second he had been crawling peacefully through the ventilation system, and then all of a sudden he was sitting on Elena. Then his superior had decided to open the door, removing any chance Reno had to escape before Elena's mind registered what had just happened.

So he decided to make the best of a very bad situation.

When Tseng asked if he was interrupting something, Reno mashed his lips up to Elena's and hoped she would get the hint.

She didn't.

Hoping Tseng couldn't hear Elena's muffled shrieks, Reno tried his best to look like he had been interrupting something- namely, a hot, steamy, affair between two of his subordinates.

Elena was angry. Actually, she was beyond angry: she was irate. When Reno had come crashing through her ceiling, that had been fairly tolerable (after all, he was Reno), but when he decided to spontaneously make outwith her in front of Tseng . . .

With a shriek of pure rage, Elena kicked Reno off of her, throwing the redhead into the corner of her desk. With a yelp of pain, Reno impacted heavily with the sharp edge, knocking the desk askew. However, the damage had already been done, Elena realized. Tseng was no longer present, and there was going to be practically no way to explain the truth to him.

---

The female Turk turned vengefully upon Reno, who was picking himself up from where he had landed on the floor. However, as he stood completely upright, the door of Elena's office opened once again.

---

As he opened the door to Elena's office, Sephiroth reflected upon the many possible ways of murdering a certain redhead.

Elena, by an-" here he stopped and looked at the room's occupants. Taking in the rumpled appearance of both Reno and Elena, he said the first thing that came to mind.

"Was I interrupting something?"

"No-" Elena started to say, but she was interrupted by Reno.

"Yes! Yes you were! Shoo! Shoo!" With these words, the second-in-command of the Turks looped an arm around her waist and pulled her close. Too close, in fact, for Elena, but did Reno care?

Once again he crushed his lips up against hers. Elena practically squawked in indignation, but no matter how much she fought, she couldn't get out of Reno's death grip.

Sephiroth had seen enough. Yanking the much-abused door open, he practically sprinted through it, face burning. Perhaps Zack would make a better victim . . .

The next day . . .

Reno sighed. As he walked past Elena's office, the jarring sounds of construction reverberated through the corridor. Reno almost went in to see how Elena was, but it suddenly occurred to him that she probably wouldn't be working in there while repairs were still going on.

The redhead paused, reflecting on the not-so-fond memories that he'd made the other day. He sighed again, and continued towards his office.

As he passed his office door, he noticed something strange about the sign on his door – usually the plaque bore a photograph of him and his name below, but something wasn't right. Upon closer inspection, his observation proved to be correct.

The plain (for Reno) photo that was usually there had a crudely drawn sword sticking out of him and streaks of red marker all over – Reno suspected that they were supposed to be blood. Below the picture, the name Reno had been scratched out, and someone had written the ominous warning, "We have your number" in the same red marker. SOLDIER minions, thought Reno, walking into his office. The redhead winced slightly, as he had been hoping Sephiroth would've forgotten about the paperwork incident over the commotion of yesterday. At least he's not coming after me himself . . .

He lazily plopped down in his office chair, spun around a few times, and then turned to the monitor of his computer – he couldn't wait to start on the next level of Runescape. However, as soon as he typed in the web address, the computer popped up a reminder – "We are sorry, but this website is off limits for certain personnel. We are sorry for any inconvenience. Thank you for working with Shinra."

Employees two floors up heard the shriek of frustration, but they were used to that kind of thing. After all, they did work in the same building as Reno.

A.N.: I'd really appreciate some feedback. Preferably not flames, but all comments are welcome.