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Disclaimer: I don’t own the characters. Squaresoft does.

Following Snow White, here comes Cinderella!! As usual, there’s slight bashing for everyone everywhere. So please bear with my insanity, OK?

Here we go!

Fairy Tales series number two -
Cinderella: The FF8 version
by Konekomh

Once upon a time there was a little boy named Seifer. (I’M NOT A BOY!!) (Yeah right! So you’re a girl then?) (…) Poor boy, his parents had died when he was very small and so he was put under the care of a gardener called Cid Kramer. Cid had two sons, Irvine and Zell they were called. Or perhaps more widely known as Sharp-women-shooter and Hotdog Cruncher.

Being borne a bully Seifer never gave up any chance to intimidate his "brothers", particularly Zell. And it was one of these lovely days that the messenger from the palace came.

Knock Knock

"Go get the door Chickenwuss!" Seifer hollered from his perch on the couch reading his book.

"You called me what??" Zell poked his head round the corner, glaring at the perpetual bully.

"You want me to repeat, Chickenwuss?" Seifer put down his book and favoured Zell with a smug look.

"For the last time, I’m not a chickenwuss." Zell began to shadow box to let out his anger. He knew he could never punch Seifer in the face because he had his gunblade by his side. His hands would have been cut off long before he could reach three feet within Seifer’s radius.

"What’s the matter Zell? Swatting flies?" Seifer smirked. He simply enjoyed picking on the smaller blond. He was so easy to provoke.

Knock Knock Knock

"Why’s it always me? " Irvine complained as he went for the door. "I’m going to get paid for this." But then his face beamed all of a sudden when he saw the messenger, "Whoa! Look at what we’ve got!! A lovely little beauty!!"

The sharpshooter immediately took off his hat and bowed, "My name’s Irvine Kinneas, care to come in, My Lady?" wink

"Eh… I’m actually…" The messenger fidgeted at her spot, looking a bit uneasy with the unexpected hospitality.

Irvine flashed his million-gil smile, "Please?"

"Okay, this is the last family I’ve got to inform anyway."

And so the messenger from the palace told the Cowboy of the upcoming party which would be held for the prince’s 18th birthday.

One week later…

"Irvine, where’re you going?" Zell asked as he spotted his brother all dressed up as if ready for party.

"Why, to the palace, of course."

"What for?" It was Seifer’s turn to be curious. He’d never been to a palace before. It might be the chance to fulfil to his Romantic Dream™!!

"Prince Squall’s birthday party! All the girls over the world would come to fight for his heart. And I," the sharpshooter tipped his hat over his eyes and flashed his thousand-kilo-watt smile, "am going to steal some tonight."

"Hey! I didn’t know that, who told you?" Zell was fuming. How could his dear brother not tell him of the party where he could eat all to his heart content?

"Selphie."

"Who?"

"The messenger girl. She came over last week when you guys were bickering in the living room. For once I was glad you left the door to me. But didn’t she tell you about the ball?"

"Of course not!! You kept her occupied all day and night, remember?" Zell was shaking now, ready to explode like a volcano.

"Oh, sorry." There was no sign of guilt as the sharpshooter apologised. "Well, I’d better run now. Can’t afford to let the ladies wait. See ya." And merrily, Irvine took off to the party.

"Never mind, we still got time." Seifer announced as the blonds made their way to dress up.

"Wait!" It was Cid. Apparently he had come back from his gardening for the day just the right time.

The boys turned around to acknowledge their father.

"Seifer, I’m afraid you can’t go." Cid took off his glasses and wiped them with the corner of his vest, as if to avoid Seifer’s burning glare.

"Why?"

"You’re still a little boy." The gardener answered nonchalantly.

"What?? I’m by far the oldest among these jerks and you say I’m still a little boy? I’m not a boy anymore. I’ve a Romantic Dream™ to fulfil!!"

"I’m sorry Seifer. You just wait here and I’m going to call over Quistis the babysitter to look after you."

"Hey!" Together Cid and Zell manhandled the struggling blond and locked him in the Disciplinary Room.

Half an hour later when everyone had merrily gone off to the ball…

There was still no sign of Quistis. Of course, she had gone to the party. She was known to be the most die hard fan of Prince Squall. She would do anything simply to get a closer look at the Prince.

"Damn… what should I do now? I can’t be stuck here doing nothing. I have a dream to fulfil!!" Having made up his mind, Seifer picked up his Hyperion and began to destroy the lock.

Suddenly the whole room was covered in a thick mist, so thick that Seifer couldn’t aim his gunblade properly. "What the…"

Fithos Lusec Wecos Vinosec

Seifer looked around. There couldn’t have been anyone! The room was locked tight and sound proof, so where did the music come from?? Seifer started to feel his hair stood on its end.

Fithos Lusec Wecos Vinosec

As Seifer turned around to examine the wall, ripples started to form as if it had turned into liquid. A women dressed in black with feathers around the collar entered, smacking her face right into the boy’s chest. ouch!

Fithos Lusec Wecos Vinosec

"Poor, poor boy…" The woman purred as she rubbed her abused nose.

"Stay away from me! I have no time to entertain you." The blond turned to make himself busy with the lock again, "Just make yourself home. I’m going off to the ball."

The music grew louder. Fithos Lusec Wecos Vinosec

"The boy in you is telling you to come. The adult in you is telling you to back off. You can’t make up your mind. You don’t know the right answer."

What the hell are you talking about? Seifer thought as he continued blowing up the lock.

"You want help, don’t you? You want to be saved from this predicament." The lady continued to purr.

Hell yeah I wanna break free from this room. Seifer didn’t care to reply. Why lose time on something as insignificant as chit-chatting?

"Insolent fool! How dare you be so rude to me? My name’s Edea and I’m your fairy god lover who can grant you a wish!"

"You are a what??" Seifer sweatdropped.

"ahem… I mean I’m your fairy god mother." Seifer showed her the what-the-hell-are-you-talking-about look. "Okay, now look" Edea used her glistening finger to blast the lock. Seifer’s eyes bugged out as if they were about to drop off his skull.

"You have a destiny to fulfil, a Romantic Dream™ to make real. (Phew! I’m already getting tired of typing "Romantic Dream™" repeatedly!!) Now bring me a pumpkin and I’ll make a nice carriage out of it."

"We don’t have any pumpkins now. It’s not the season." (Don’t ask me, I have no idea whether late August is a season for pumpkins)

Edea shook her head and signed, "some rundown garden. Doesn’t even have GM pumpkins. Where can I get a nice carriage for you?"

Suddenly a light bulb appears above Seifer’s head and he said, "I got it! Now just wait a minute." And he dashed for the living quarters.

Exactly a minute later, Seifer brought with him Zell’s skateboard tangled up with a bunch of nightlights, "Will this do?"

Edea regarded the colourful skateboard. Bluish green light started to gather around her finger. As she touched the skateboard, it transformed into a huge float adorned with loads of colourful light bulbs twinkling like a Christmas tree.

Incidentally her magic had touched the rats on the floor which had turned into a bunch of exotic dancers dancing to the music still playing in the background.

Edea then moved on to touch Seifer. Immediately he was covered in a shiny silvery armour.

"Cool…" Seifer regarded himself in the mirror, "it’s just like Laguna from the TV!!"

"Now you have to bear in your mind that when the clock strikes twelve, my magic will disappear and you will return to your own attire. All these," she gestured to the float and the wiggling dancers, "would also disappear."

"No worries. I’m still Seifer Almasy even without these things. They just help me to make a grand entrance."

And so together with Edea (I want live action, LIVE! Not just sitting here and waiting for the brat to come back and brag about his story. Got it?), Seifer rode the float to the palace to fulfil his Romantic Dream™.

Meanwhile in the palace…

Prince Squall was sitting in his throne beside his father scowling. He hated balls. They were so boring. The adults would be busy flattering one another but never meant a word they say. And the girls… were even more repulsive. (Don’t get me wrong, sometimes even when you’re as straight as a board, you still find a number of the opposite sex you’d like to avoid, right?)

Even when he was not looking, Squall could feel all those girls batting their eyes trying to catch his attention when all the while they would fight in the background simply to get to the front row. Sometimes he felt like an animal in the zoo.

The Prince spared a glance at the commotion by his side as he heard someone slapping a whip in the background. He was immediately granted squeals of delight. The brunette signed and batted his forehead. Why did I even agree to come?

"My dear Squall, why don’t you go down to invite some of those lovely girls for a dance? You know you have to choose a bride tonight, right?" King Laguna scratched his head as the Prince rolled his eyes and said, "I’m not interested."

It had always been a headache to the King due to his son’s anti-social behaviour. With his brains and good look, he could have served a perfect diplomat. Particularly when the troublemaking country of Galbadia had her eyes on the beautiful Prince. Well, to be exact, their Princess was all sweet with him.

"You are the best looking guy here. Dance with me?"

Nah… I’d rather be bored to death sitting here than dancing with you. The Prince took a sip from his glass and ignored the Princess completely.

"Let me guess, you’ll only dance with someone you like. OK, then…" The Princess rose a finger and drew little circles in the air.

"Look into my eyes… You’re-going-to-like-me… You’re-going-to-like-me… Did it work?"

Squall chuckled to himself. This is stupid. Better rid of her as soon as possible.

"I can’t dance."

"Aw… that’s a lame excuse. You’re a Prince. Come on, I can’t be on the dance floor alone."

Princess Rinoa physically dragged the Prince onto the dance floor, looking all smug while the other girls threw her glares of poisonous daggers. Totally taken by surprise, Squall could only stumble after her.

Just as Rinoa was about to start the dance, a guard rushed in at the speed of light, "Red alert! Red alert from the front gate! Sorceress Edea’s coming through with her knight!"

Squall blew a sign of relief and beamed his rarest smile. Saviour!

At the side of the dance floor, a row of girls tumbled like dominoes as they fainted while those who remained conscious screamed hysterically.

Of course none of these were caused by the news from the guard. sign

Squall, being as courteous as he could manage, pushed Rinoa to the side where he spotted Irvine the famous Sharp-women-shooter. "I’m going for the sorceress. Take care of Rinoa." And the Prince dashed off with his gunblade, never turning back.

"Well this is how it turned out." Seifer commented as he noticed the Prince coming out on his Red Convertible, I mean, his horse, battle stance ready.

Squall pulled to a halt and jumped from the steed. "So here’s a sorceress’ lapdog." The Prince greeted when Seifer drew his gunblade.

"I prefer to be called her knight. This has always been my dream, although this is only a means."

"So what’s the ends?"

"You’ll know when the time comes." Seifer lifted his gunblade and beckoned the Prince who charged immediately.

The duel went on when the guests gathered around the pair. They were astonished that their duel could turn out to be so elegant, so exciting and so beautiful. It’s almost like a dance except for the ferocity.

Time’s quick, particularly when you’re enjoying your every single moment. The same applied to the two boys who could finally fight with the one that could match their own skills. Now, it was almost twelve.

Seeing that it wouldn’t be possible for the duel to end soon, Sorceress Edea rose from her perch on the throne and summoned her magic. A huge ice shard floated above her as if to shield her from the heat of the spot lights.

Without warning, the Sorceress hurled the shard towards the pair. Squall saw it coming from Seifer’s back and acting on instinct, pushed the blond away and received the blow right through his shoulder. The Prince was immediately knocked out cold.

"Why?" Seifer turned to yell at his fairy god mother.

"Time’s up. My boy." The sorceress then dragged the poor boy home.

"No worries. He’ll live. I promise you can come to play again tomorrow."

No sooner than Seifer had reached home his siblings returned. They told Seifer about the ball where Zell ate till he got a stomachache and how Irvine got the chance to show off his talents in front of the girls around the world, including the Princess from Galbadia.

Of course they would never miss out on the duel with the mysterious knight and how the Prince was knocked out and miraculously came back alive without a single wound. (Oh, come on, how come they couldn’t recognise the Hyperion? Well…)

All Seifer did was to smirk to himself, looking forward to the next encounter.

The next day had come.

King Laguna announced an extension to the party because the Prince was too busy fighting yesterday that he had forgotten to choose a bride.

Just like the day before, Seifer was again locked up.

"sneeze ...SeeD...SeeD...SeeD...SeeD, SeeD, SeeD! sneeze Kurse all SeeDs. sneeze Swarming like lokusts akross generations. You disgust me. sneeze"

"Bless ya. Guess you’re suffering from a serious hay fever?" Seifer regarded the lady standing in front of him in the Disciplinary Room, sneezing non-stop.

Unlike Edea, this woman had white hair and it was pulled up like the horns of a bull. She was wearing a red evening gown, revealing her perfect curvature. On her back was a pair of black wings. Feathers were flying everywhere whenever she sneezed.

"I’m Ultimecia. Time shall kompress, all existence denied."

And so time had been kompressed and Seifer plus Ultimecia were now in the mobile Galbadian Garden, which had already arrived at the front of the palace.

"Hey, how could you do that?" Seifer asked in awe. Surely this fairy god lover, excuse me, fairy god mother is more powerful than the last one.

"Time Kompression. I’ve moved time a bit."

"I mean the transport."

"Oh. It was an oktopus on a plate."

"No wonder it smells like a dead fish." Seifer lost his balance as the Galbadian Octopus collide itself with the palace. The blond straightened himself and made his way to the ballroom, the Sorceress totally ignored.

"So we meet again." Prince Squall was already standing in the hallway waiting for the knight.

The brunette was happy that the knight had come again. All the girls would then stay away from him as long as he was fighting. But the problem was, it would make them admire him more as he fought with grace and skills. Sometimes, the bolder ones would come forth to help him, just like what Quistis and Rinoa were doing right now.

"Stay back." The Prince warned, you’ll just ruin my fun. That made the girls squealed with delight for they thought the Prince was concerned about them after all.

"Three on one? Oh, I didn’t know you would be weakened so much." Seifer sneered.

Prince Squall signed. "Neither do I." Better do something about it.

He turned to Quistis and cupped her face between his palms, "Listen, this is between me and him. Be a good girl and go talk to a wall, Okay?"

Quistis was delighted. Never had she been touched by the Prince! And now the Prince had asked her a favour! Immediately the blonde took off to the wall at the back and started talking to it.

Rinoa giggled. But then she stopped suddenly when she saw Ultimecia coming. "Squall, I’m scared." The Princess attached herself to the unmoving Prince like a leech, "I’m really scared!" And she fainted from seeing the Sorceress.

"Seifer, we have to retreat. Only then shall the sorceress provide you with dreams again." Was all Ultimecia said when she found the boys.

"What? We haven’t even started the fight yet!" Seifer protested. Squall scowled. Leave the girls to spoil the fun.

"Time’s up boys. I’ve kompressed time too much. It’s now almost twelve." Ultimecia threw a light bomb and dragged Seifer home. Poor thing!

Again, the next day had come as usual.

And again King Laguna announced an extension to the party because the Prince did not choose his bride the night before. (Moron, can’t you leave this till some other time?)

Seifer was again locked up. (Do you realise all these fairy tales repeating the same scene at least three time in a story, as if the storyteller had run out of ideas and had to repeat himself in order the make the story longer? )

Ok, back to the story…

"Show yourself." Seifer demanded after the door had closed behind him. He couldn’t wait any longer. He wanted to be in battle right now and then.

The knight yelped when he was lifted by the collar of his trench coat, coming face to face with a red-hair fairy god mother. Her face was painted like a zebra. The sneer that she wore made her look all the more creepy.

"Eh… shall we go?" The sorceress called Adel nodded, amber eyes flashing with glee.

Seifer sweatdropped when the sorceress brought him in front of a lunatic asylum and summoned her magic to change it into a giant floating crystal.

"It’s the Lunatic Pandora. Let’s go and claim Esthar for our own. Muwahahaha…" The sorceress hurled the poor boy into the Lunatic Asylum, oops sorry, Lunatic Pandora. Merrily, she made her way to the palace, bringing with her the poor knight sprawled on the ground.

Somewhere in the palace…

"What the hell is that!? It's humongous!" Zell choked himself with a hotdog as he regarded the Lunatic Pandora slowly moving pass him.

All of a sudden, A glass of water was pushed into his hands. "Even the prince can’t shove down that many hotdogs at a time. You’re just amazing." When the blond looked up to the source of the sweet voice, he was greeted by a girl with a pigtail who was shyly batting her eyes at him.

"Hi… N… Nice… ta … you… My… Zell… "

Some Secret Area within the palace…

"Booyaka! Let’s blow it to smithereens with a rocket launcher!!" Selphie squealed as she saw the Lunatic Asylum passing by.

"As you wish, My Lady." Irvine was more pleased than ever as he proceed to kiss his trophy.

"Super-duper-mega-bummer!"

(Oh Hyne, What am I writing? )

"It’s you again." Squall greeted when Seifer arrived at the ballroom with Adel closely behind. Like the Red Sea upon contact with Moses, the crowd on the dance floor jumped aside when they saw the intruders.

And so they began the dance of swords with Adel at the back scaring everyone with her mad grins.

"You're on my tough-nut-to-crack list." Seifer panted after a couple of hours.

"... Geez, I'm honored." The Prince returned, equally out of breath.

It was then the clock started to strike the first of the twelve. Seifer looked up at the clock and swore.

"I gotta go."

"Oh no, you don’t." The Princess from Galbadia hugged Seifer around the waist, not wanting to let him go. Apparently she was very pleased with the knight. "I want you to be my knight." wink (She did learn something from Irvine, didn’t she. )

"Guards, restrain him!" King Laguna ordered, finally.

The clock was striking the sixth.

Gathering up all his strength, Seifer ran, dragging Rinoa along with him. Luckily on his way back, Adel reached out her hand and tore the Princess away, claiming her to be the most suitable apprentice. Rinoa, believing that she could learn the magic of seduction, happily went along with the lunatic.

When Seifer finally reached home, he was all soaked up from the rain because the Pandora had disappeared as the clock struck twelve. It was not until then he discovered that he had lost his choker.

"Damn, that’s my favourite!" Seifer cursed when the palace’s troop appeared out of nowhere and surrounded him. What an ambush!

"What the…"

A brunette appeared out of the dark and stepped into the spotlight. "Never thought it would be that easy." It was Prince Squall. He was holding the glistening choker in his hand. "You sure are losing it, Seifer."

"What do you want?" Seifer backed himself against the wall. Busted. There was no way out.

"What do you want? Messing up with my birthday party." The Prince purred as he played with the choker, Seifer’s name and address were crafted on the back of it like a dog tag. He narrowed his eyes as he regarded the knight.

"To fulfil my Romantic Dream™, of course!" Seifer answered, there was no reason to lie.

"What’s your Romantic Dream™ then?" The Prince asked as he sent away the troop.

"To beat the shit out of you. Simple as that." Seifer confessed.

"No way." The Prince dismissed bluntly. Seifer’s shoulders slumped.

"You’re coming to the palace with me and I am going to beat the shit out of you, got that?" Prince Squall smirked as Seifer mirrored his smile.

"Oh."

And so every one lived happily ever after,

including Quistis who was still talking to the wall.

The End

Thanks for reading. See ya next time!