Of Hearts and Symphonies: A CCS song-fiction collection

Witch-mistress-animaru

A/N: Okay. One more story about forbidden love and then we’ll go for something creepy and sad.

Warning about very graphic lemon scenes and themes not meant for minors. If you aren’t up to it, skip this story and wait for the next in this collection.

3: Secret Lovers

Inspired by Unfaithful

As performed by Rihanna

Pairing: SS, with Eriol on the side

Rating: M

Genre: Romance/Angst

Hiiragizawa Sakura was everything a woman wanted to be. She was the epitome of the feminine elite—from her carefully manicured fingernails to her perfect haircut, Sakura screamed of elegance and class.

She was one of those few women who could look good without trying. Hers was a success story, everybody said. She had the perfect career as a supermodel—a diva who could make heads turn as she entered the room, Sakura modeled everything from clothes to expensive skin care products.

Everybody believed that she was very lucky, especially as she was married to a man who used to be considered Tokyo’s most eligible bachelor. Indeed, Hiiragizawa Eriol was a well-known business tycoon all over Japan. His influence in the world of commerce was such, Sakura never needed to work after they wed. However, to everyone’s surprise, she continued working.

They were married for two years now, and people cannot believe that they would have stayed together all those times. As it appears, though, they were wrong—it couldn’t be anything less than a match made in heaven.

How very wrong they were.

“Going out again, wife?” Eriol asked coldly as she dabbed some perfume on her wrists. She started, almost guiltily, before feigning nonchalance.

“Of course. I have to meet with my agent, Eriol.” They talked like they were perfect strangers. It was hard to believe, looking at them now, that at one point, they shared an affection of each other.

They were never in love, even at the beginning, but there had been respect and some sort of attraction between the two of them. After several dates, all of them amiable enough, Eriol proposed to her. It wasn’t romantic, but it could have been sweet. She doesn’t really remember it well.

Theirs was little better than a marriage of convenience. He needed a wife immediately to gain his inheritance. Meanwhile, she needed the money he had to offer—she never denied that she married him partly for his money.

But back then, she hoped something good would come out of their arrangement. She hoped their comfortable friendship would develop to something else.

It never did. Instead, they became as they were now—strangers who had nothing in common except the house they live in and their surnames. They don’t even share the same room anymore.

She didn’t know why, but Eriol was always distant. Goodness knows, she tried to cross the gap between them—even to the extent of seducing him to her bed. But none of them kept him glued at her side.

So she simply gave up.

Story of my life

Searching for the right

But it keeps avoiding me

Sorrow in my soul

Cause it seems that wrong

Really loves my company

“You don’t need to work anymore, Sakura,” he reminded her. She shook her head, knowing he didn’t really care. “I need to do this,” she said, half-hoping he’d say something more, show some more concern for her. I need to maintain my self-worth…

“Fine. Whatever suits you, then.” He looked at her without any interest, as if he wasn’t really seeing her. Her chest tightened. Please, care for me, Eriol, even once…

Despite his coldness, Sakura is still very much attracted to her husband.

“I’m leaving,” she said, standing abruptly and stalking away.

Tears welled her eyes as she walked, her chest heaving. How he could hurt her with just simple words. She knew that he was having her followed, but he never confronted her. He pretended to never care. Or just to never know. Either way, she didn’t like it. She hated the way he remained detached from her.

He's more than a man

And this is more than love

The reason that the sky is blue

The clouds are rolling in

Because I'm gone again

And to him I just can't be true

And I know that he knows I'm unfaithful

And it kills him inside

To know that I am happy with some other guy

I can see him dying

Furiously, she dialed a number so familiar to her—the number of Li Syaoran, an ex-model who opened his own agency. They used to be colleagues…until…

“Hello?”

“Hey there, stud,” she purred out, drying her eyes. “Can we meet?”

“Sakura,” he said softly, as if taken by surprise. He cleared his throat. “Sure, babe. I’m here at my flat. I’ll be waiting.”

“Make sure you’re ready for me, then,” she said provocatively, blew him a kiss and ended the call.

She felt the old apprehension, and-- though she denied it—excitement inside her as her strides became purposeful. It was wrong she knew, but she could not help herself.

Li Syaoran was everything she wanted Eriol to be. Being with him was the same, and at the same time, different. He was like a drug she couldn’t get enough of. He initiated her to the world of sex, yet they never went beyond that—they were merely fuck buddies.

Half an hour later, she arrived at his flat. He was waiting for her, all right.

Wearing nothing but a towel as he emerged from the shower.

Her breath caught.

Before she knew it, they were tearing at each other’s clothes, kissing each other fiercely. He wrapped her legs around him as his towel dropped to the floor and the buttons of her blouse ripped off.

They didn’t talk—they only moved together, occasionally bumping some of his furniture until they made it to the bed, panting. He pinned her underneath him and removed her bra, his lips trailing down her neck to her breasts.

“Ohh…you really do that well,” she moaned as he sucked one breast—nipping and teasing her to madness—and kneaded the other with his masterful hands. His other hand began to trail down to her undies, only to find she was wearing a thong. He chuckled.

“Getting a bit too naughty, aren’t we?” He whispered in her ear.

She arched beneath him, writhing and squirming with every touch, every kiss he gave her.

His lips continued trailing down at her and did one thing he never did before. He reached her pussy lips and began lapping at her with his tongue.

“Oh…Syaoran…” She climaxed immediately, screaming his name as she pulled at his hair. But he kept what he was doing.

“You taste so good, babe,” he murmured, his warm breath teasing her down there. Then, just as she was recovering from her shattering experience, she felt his fingers inside her while he kept teasing her with his tongue.

Then he crawled slowly, deliberately up towards her. His lips caught hers again—and she tasted her own love juices from his lips, which only heightened her arousal.

She thought he would penetrate her then, but he didn’t. Instead, he stood up, stacked several pillows beneath her head. Then he held her arms fast above them with one hand and settled her using his other hand.

“I want you to watch us,” he rasped out. He was obviously at his limit, his breathing shallow and strained. He propped her head up so that she could see him as he slowly entered her. She drew in a sharp breath. “It heightens the senses, doesn’t it?”

Soon, he was pumping to her fast, both of them heaving as they escalated to heights of pleasure.

When it was over, Sakura stood up and headed for the bathroom to wash herself.

She knew she was being watched.

She hoped it was enough.

I don't wanna do this anymore

I don't wanna be the reason why

Everytime I walk out the door

I see him die a little more inside

I don't wanna hurt him anymore

I don't wanna take away his life

I don't wanna be...

A murderer

She’s gone, Syaoran thought bitterly as he heard the door slam shut.

It was always like this. She’d call him up, obviously upset. Then somehow, they’d end up having sex.

That was how it began, though. They were friends even before she got married. She was one of his closest friends, even though he was already half in love with her. He never thought they’d end up lovers. Then that Eriol came to the picture and he thought he’d lost her for good.

Months passed without contact. Then one day, she called him up, sniffling. Alarmed, he decided to invite her over.

That had been the start of everything. She was a virgin then—how surprised he was when he realized that. Either Eriol Hiiragizawa was stupid, impotent, or both. Nevertheless, he was glad to have been the first man in her life.

But they never progressed from that point.

She’d use him ruthlessly and leave him immediately afterward.

The irony of it all made him want to weep.

He had her body, all right. But her heart—her feelings—remain with her husband who, ironically, was never really a husband to her.

He knew that for everything to end, he had to be the one to end it.

There was no other way.

Eriol couldn’t bear to look at the pictures of his wife having sex with her new agent. Li Syaoran was a colleague of Sakura’s, he knew. But now the bastard owns a modeling agency where she had a new contract with.

He loved Sakura…but he cannot break the barriers between them. He never knew how to make his moves, after all. And now he’s lost her to another man.

God, how it hurt.

Now he won’t be able to look at her the same again. Now they had to say goodbye. And soon enough, he hoped, the scars would heal. Nobody need ever know what transpired between them.

--

I feel it in the air

As I'm doing my hair

Preparing for another date

A kiss upon my cheek

As he reluctantly

Asks if I'm gonna be out late

I say I won't be long

Just hanging with the girls

A lie I didn't have to tell

Because we both know

Where I'm about to go

And we know it very well

Cause I know that he knows I'm unfaithful

And it kills him inside

To know that I am happy with some other guy

I can see him dying

Sakura knew something was wrong the moment she stepped inside the room. Eriol looked calm and composed, but she knew otherwise.

She closed the door shut.

Then he started to speak, and everything shattered.

“I want a divorce.”

And she knew everything she wanted and dreaded…was going to happen now.

I don't wanna do this anymore

I don't wanna be the reason why

Everytime I walk out the door

I see him die a little more inside

I don't wanna hurt him anymore

I don't wanna take away his life

I don't wanna be...

A murderer

Our love, his trust

I might as well take a gun and put it to his head

Get it over with

I don't wanna do this

Anymore

Uh

Anymore (anymore)

“Syaoran?” She was crying. He knew the call was going to come. He was prepared for it. “Can I come over?”

“I…I…” he wavered. Then he went on. “I’m sorry. I have other things to do.” Then he hung up.

He looked ahead of him, not really seeing anything anymore.

He’d rather forget her—everything about her. He’d move on and get a grip and let go of her.

Easier said than done.

Sakura can’t believe he hung up on her. Syaoran—who was always there for her, suddenly left her in the cold? The world must be coming to an end.

“I don’t want to stand between you and someone else, Sakura. Admittedly, I was…and still am, attracted to you. I just didn’t know how to tell you. But now, I…don’t think we can really be together anymore.” Eriol’s words kept haunting her…

But now she didn’t even have Syaoran anymore. Somehow, she felt it more of a loss than when Eriol said he wanted a divorce.

And it hurt her so much…yet she knew it was a price she must pay.

I don't wanna do this anymore

I don't wanna be the reason why

And everytime I walk out the door

I see him die a little more inside

And I don't wanna hurt him anymore

I don't wanna take away his life

I don't wanna be...

A murderer (a murderer)

No no no no

Yeah yeah yeah

Everyone was shocked when Hiiragizawa Eriol divorced his wife. The perfect match wasn’t so perfect, after all, they surmised.

Sakura wasn’t taking it well at all. She had gotten thin and all and her career was becoming a waste.

Syaoran knew that, as her current agent, he needs to confront her.

So here he is, seated comfortably in his office, awaiting her arrival.

And arrive she did.

Her hair unkempt, her face disheveled. She was no longer glamorous, but nonetheless pretty.

“What do you want to say?”

“You’re throwing your life away because of that divorce, Sakura.”

“What do you care?” Her words were bitter, her voice brittle. She looked ready to flee anytime.

“Sit down,” he said impatiently.

“No, I won’t. Say what you have to say now. I won’t be hanging around much longer.”

“I said,” he accentuated, “sit down.” She followed, somewhat reluctantly.

“What’s happening?” He asked. “You’re self-destructing.”

--

Sakura wanted to weep hysterically. How can he act so…so cool, so distant?

Like those heated moments in his apartment never happened.

Like they never were lovers.

It hurt more than hell now, as she realized what she truly felt about him.

Eriol had been a mystery to solve, and when he provided her with answers, she lost interest on him…

While Syaoran kept her alive. He kept her interested. He made her feel things she never felt before.

She loved him. Oh, dear Lord, how she did.

But she already lost him.

And it was her fault—for never bothering to get close, for being selfish and insensitive.

“Oh, I don’t need to tell you that. I know what I am doing.”

“Do you, really?” He asked softly.

“Yes,” she shouted. “So don’t bother asking me as if you care!”

“But I care,” he replied.

Oh yes, you do. But not in the way I want you to.

She shook her head. “We’re getting nowhere here. I think I better leave.”

She stood to leave.

Before she could reach the door, he stood up and stopped her, pinning her to the door.

Then his lips descended on hers.

“Please…don’t leave,” he whispered as the kiss ended.

She didn’t know what to say.

“I can’t…I tried to stay away, but I can’t. Don’t do this, Sakura. Don’t be a stranger. Don’t leave me…”

It was all she needed to hear. Wrapping her arms around him, she kissed him soundly.

“I love you… I always have…” and suddenly, it was enough for both of them to just hold each other.

Maybe happy endings do exist after all, she thought, even for someone like me who makes grave mistakes…

The End