|How Do I Survive?
Author: Set-Me-Free92 PM
What happens when everything that has held Cornelia together for the past sixteen years begin to fall how and who will help her out of the black hole that she is quickly falling into?Rated: Fiction T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Cornelia H. & Caleb - Chapters: 15 - Words: 29,911 - Reviews: 47 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 08-09-10 - Published: 05-28-08 - id: 4285706
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Drake was walking the large corridors of the palace. The sun was just about to set making the normal white stone walls transform into ones of soft orange and pink.
Drake smiled warmly as a group of children passed by him carrying large bags of flour into the kitchen. Drake continued walking until he came to an archway that led to a large balcony that was often forgotten to the busy politicians of Meridian.
Drake stood out and looked across to where the town laid. He scanned pass and overlooked the river and the mountains in the background.
None of this is what he was looking for. But then turning his head to the left he saw what he was searching for.
There sitting on the edge of the balcony, legs hanging over the edge was his comrade, best friend and brother.
Drake stood and stared at his friend. It took Drake four days until he could get Caleb interested in the world around him again. But that didn't last too long.
After the small attack on the market place, Caleb hadn't rest. It is because of that reason that Drake had left this place last and was surprised to see him.
Although everyone in the council and Queen Elyon had declared the attack as a mild attack and nothing connected to the rebellion, Caleb thought it was more.
He spent all of his time at the market place interviewing witnesses, travelling to other areas that had been attacked by the rebellion and studying in the royal library.
Walking softly forward Drake stood next to his friend.
"What do you want Drake?" asked Caleb without taking his eyes from the view in front of them.
"Nothing" Drake answered simply. Caleb nodded his head.
The two sat in silence for a few moments until Drake broke it.
"Haven't seen much of you lately" Drake ventured. Caleb mumbled something.
Drake ignored this and leant closer to his friend.
"You know I personally wouldn't mind but it Blunk. I mean he keeps coming up and asking where you are. Which I don't mind but the smell!" exclaimed Drake who smiled as he saw the grin spread across his friends face.
"Sorry, I've just been busy" smiled Caleb.
The two went into another silence.
"Look Caleb, I don't want you to think that I am lecturing you, but are you okay? You have been quiet ever since you and Cornelia broke-"Drake paused seeing a slight clench in his friend's jaw."Since that night, and honestly, in my own opinion I don't think that you are over her"
Caleb closed his eyes and sighed as he let his friend's words sink in. How was he supposed to answer that? He opened his mouth to start deny the claim that drake brought forward, but as he did his father Julian walked through the stone archway.
"Ahh there you are boys. Dinner is ready" he smiled looking cautiously at his son and friend.
Elyon entered into the dining room. Tonight was just a small dinner with close friends and most members of the council.
Elyon smiled and made eye contact with everyone sitting around the table as it was tradition. Elyon turned her head waiting to see the green orbs that always made her feel at ease. But she was only met with brown hair.
Who am I kidding? It has been the same every night since she broke up with him. Thought Elyon as she let the meal commence.
Elyon picked at her food on her plate. Turning her head slightly to her left she tried to gain Caleb's attention but failed, once again.
Elyon sighed. How could he still be so distraught after just breaking up with Cornelia? Sure she understood that he would be upset but this was ridiculous. It had been three weeks and the only time Caleb showed emotion was when three market stalls caught alight.
Elyon stabbed at her plate. How could Cornelia do this to him? How could she possible make him into this person of no emotion, no purpose. The Caleb a month ago was so full of emotion. So full of passion and laughter. Elyon smiled as she remembered the spark that his deep green eyes always held.
So how? Why now, did he show none? There was no way that Cornelia could be the sole reason for his sudden change in character. Maybe it was the thing with his Mother, Nerissa that made him like this? Maybe all of his grief and anger from the last year had come crashing down on him all of a sudden?
Elyon nodded. It had to be it. But no matter what she told herself Elyon couldn't get rid of the fact that Cornelia was a reason.
The queen lifted her light blue eyes to the people that sat around her but her focus was on the boy who sat three seats down on her left.
The next day Caleb awoke early like he normally did. He walked out of his room and straight to the stables.
Walking past various horses he came to a stop in front of a beautiful Palomino. Sighing Caleb placed a hand upon the horse's head which he flicked upwards.
The horse was supposed to have been a present to Cornelia from him. Caleb saw the horse in a market once and instantly thought it was perfect for his girlfriend at the time. The horse had deep blue eyes and a soft nature even though anyone smart would now this horse contained so much power about it. Just like Cornelia thought Caleb as he sighed.
Over the three week Caleb thought about getting rid of the horse, but every time he ended up keeping the horse.
I don't think you are over her. Came Drake's voice.
What was Drake thinking? Of course he wasn't over Cornelia! She was all he ever thought about. Whether it was the time they spent together, the fights and the good times, the night that everything changed, how he could have changed the path they had chosen or what it would have been like if they hadn't broken up.
Caleb shook his head. He knew he couldn't let himself think about her. About them. That is why he threw himself into the attack that happened a week ago. He needed an escape rope from his thoughts and that provided one.
Taking a last look at the horse he tore his hand away and made his way to his own.
After riding for several minutes Caleb pulled up near a stream. He led his horse to water and sat just before the water's ledge.
Looking at the water he noticed it was a deep blue, one that seemed to make the shallow stream appear as deep as the ocean.
Just like Cornelia's eyes.
Caleb fell backwards so he was lying on his back in defeat.
Why can't I just stop thinking about her! Thought Caleb as he pulled at the grass in frustration.
If it wasn't for me we would still be together!
Standing up once again Caleb clenched his fists.
"Why!" he exclaimed at the trees around him. "Why did have to end it! Why did I have to be so stubborn and say all that stuff!"
Chest heaving Caleb turned and looked at his horse. The horse looked directly at his owner with it's big intelligent eyes. Feeling ashamed at his outburst Caleb decided it was time to leave.
Seeing the palace before him he couldn't help but let the memory of when he broke up with Cornelia with Blunk by their sides. He thought that would be the worse feeling he would ever have to overcome but this. This was a hundred, no, a thousand times worse.
Caleb had to figure out a way to get the beautiful blonde out of his head. He had given up trying to get her out of his heart, he had no control what happened there but he could at least try and tame his thoughts.
What he needed was a distraction. No matter how much he hated to admit it, the attack had no answers for him. He had been looking at the same leads and clues for the past week with still nothing to show for his late nights and long travels.
The young man's thoughts were interrupted by a fan fare. To his right he saw a squad of guards riding in the middle was the figure of the queen.
Caleb knew what his new mission was.
Elyon looked up onto the hill and saw the figure she knew so well. She waved and received a slight movement of his head in return.
The young Queen awoke to the gentle hum of whispered voices and feet shuffling across the paved tiles of the palace's floors.
Yawning Elyon went and changed into a light green gown being too early in the morning Elyon decided against plaiting her hair and just ran a brush through it quickly.
Stepping out of her quarters she was greeted with a number of bows and well wishes from the staff. Smiling Elyon walked passed until she came upon a familiar face.
"Drake!" exclaimed Elyon as she quickened her pace.
"Elyon" smiled Drake as he bowed his head slightly.
"How are you?" asked Elyon as the two began to walk together.
"Fine. And yourself?"
Elyon chewed on the question for awhile.
"Is something wrong?" asked Drake tentatively
"No, not with me at least" she smiled. Drake looked at her with knowing eyes.
"Caleb". The mention of his name made Elyon feel like her stomach was trying to fly away.
Unable to talk Elyon nodded her head.
"He will be fine. He is still just grieving about his relationship with Cornelia. Just give him time" soothed Drake who was surprised when the Queen stopped walking.
"How much time does he want" whispered the Queen as she looked at her feet. Drake was shocked and didn't know how to respond. Looking up Elyon looked at Drake directly in the eyes. "How much Drake? It has been three weeks almost four!" exclaimed Elyon.
"I know Elyon. But it was hard for him, he needs time to himself" Said Drake trying to protect his friend from the Queen's displeasure.
"When is he going to wake up and realize that Meridian needs him" Said Elyon slightly. Then turning her head to the side she whispered even softer, so much so that Drake missed it. "When is going to realize that I need him"
"Don't be upset your majesty. He will be fine shortly, just give him time to adjust"
Elyon felt anger flicker in her stomach. "No. He has had enough time Drake. I need to talk to him".
Drake stood as he watched the young Queen walk gracefully through the empty hall.
"Okay so see this area here" said Caleb as he pointed his hand down on the map. "That is a weak spot, the trees are close to the walls and are high enough for people to swing across from"
The general who was far older then Caleb nodded his head in agreement. "So what shall we do about it?"
"I want to double the guards there and I want the trees moved back" instructed Caleb with a quick nod of his head, sending his brown bangs flying.
"A very wise choice Caleb, but we are simple men and cannot simply move trees the best we can do is cut them down. And even that will take us months to complete"
Caleb frowned as he tried to think a way to quicken the process.
"Hire more men to do it" he answered smugly.
"Sire, you must now that the war has taken such a toll on the country's economy. We cannot simply spend money on cutting down some trees when there are people still without homes."
Caleb clenched his fists in anger. "Do not think for a second that I have forgotten those out there" said Caleb through gritted teeth as he pointed out of a window. "But this is about the safety of our Queen who without we have no economy"
The general gave him a blank stare and slightly shrugged his shoulders in an act of helplessness.
"Fine! I'll cut the cursed trees myself if I have to!" exclaimed Caleb.
"No Son, that won't be necessary". The enraged boy turned and came upon the hard, war-torn face of his father.
"How so?" asked Caleb
"Are you forgetting that we have the Guardians to aid us? And it just so happens that one has the power to move trees"
The old general nodded his head. "That would be the best strategy"
Caleb once again clenched his fist at the mention of the earth Guardian. "Thanks General Falkins, but you aren't needed here anymore" said Caleb with a calm and controlled voice.
The general nodded his head and left the father and son alone.
Julian looked calmly at his young son who he knew was fighting to control his anger.
"Why did you mention her" seethed Caleb.
"Caleb, it is the smartest, quickest and cheapest way to make your plans happen"
"There were other options" said Caleb as he stalked around the room.
Julian shook his head sadly. "Caleb, my son. Look at you; you are turning your sadness and grief into anger. You can't just transform your feelings Caleb; you must let them play their course"
"No. You don't understand! I am fine! I don't need her to help me okay."
"You can't avoid her forever"
"I'm done talking about this. I have more important things to attend to" said Caleb as he tried to pass his father's frame.
"You can't just push these feelings away my son. No matter how busy you keep yourself you will never be rid of them" Smiled Julian sadly as his only child walked away.
Caleb was walking around the perimeter of the Castle walls, a habit he had become fond of.
How could Dad possible understand anything I am going through!
Did he ever have to walk away from a girl he loved as she shed more tears than I have ever seen in a lifetime?
Did he have to make such a sacrifice in order for that same girl to have a better future even if he would never feel the same again?
Caleb shook his head as he felt the depression slowly creep into his body. Deciding that the only way to get rid of his terrible thoughts and feeling was to make himself physically exhausted.
He picked up his pace until he was jogging close to the walls edge.
How can anyone understand? Why do they either bother! This is my problem and mine alone! I can handle it. Even without her….
Getting frustrated at his lack of mind power Caleb picked up his pace until he was sprinting as hard as he could.
He felt his muscles tighten under the strain and relished in it. He loved the way his eyes were blurred by the wind and his own sweat, this meant that he didn't have to think about the future he just went with his gut instinct.
Caleb ran and ran until he couldn't move anymore. He collapsed next to a part of a river that acted has a kind of moat for the castle.
Lying on his back he felt his chest heave as his lungs begged for more air. His legs were numb, just what he wanted.
Caleb looked around and realized where he was. This was the little alcove that the one and only Cornelia had made during peace time. They had spent some time in here together.
Caleb grabbed at his stomach as he felt it swirl.
He had to get away from here. Away from her.
As Caleb started to stand on his shaky legs when some movement to his right caught his eye.
He turned and there he saw a cream body of a horse with someone wearing green sitting upon it.
As they moved closer Caleb realized it was a female in a green gown with blonde hair-
Caleb took a step back. That was Cornelia's horse.
Cornelia was here. She was a mere 40 meters away from where he stood and coming closer.
Caleb was unsure if he wanted to run away from her or to stand his ground. All he knew was the his heart was about to explode with the anticipation.
30 meters. Caleb's breathing can in ragged breaths. She was here.
20 meters. Something wasn't right. Caleb squinted. The rider didn't sit with Cornelia's confidence, they didn't have the air of power that Cornelia commanded.
15 meters. Caleb felt his heart fall for some unknown reason as he who he thought was Cornelia transformed in Elyon's.
"Caleb" greeted Elyon with a wide smile.
"Hey" greeted Caleb. I should be glad it's Elyon. But then why do I suddenly feel so heavy?
"What have you been doing out here?" asked Elyon as she dismounted her horse, or rather Cornelia's horse.
"Just checking the boundaries" lied Caleb as he looked at the beautiful creature in front of him. Of all the horses in Meridian and she chooses this one. "What about you?" he asked curiously.
A smile came across the young queen's face. "I was supposed to be at the theatre but I managed to get out of it"
Caleb nodded his head. The pair fell silent for a few uncomfortable moments.
"It is beautiful out here" Said Elyon as she looked around her in awe. Locking her eyes on Caleb she asked what he thought of the area.
"Look Elyon I don't understand what you are up to" Elyon looked at him with innocent eyes. "The horse Elyon. It was meant to be Cornelia's" exclaimed Caleb
Elyon blushed under the sudden turn of atmosphere. "Caleb, I'm sorry. I didn't know you were still planning to give it to her"
"No I'm not. I just- I just- I dunno okay but it-"frustrated at his sudden loss of talking Caleb turned his back on the queen.
"Caleb honestly I am so sorry. I didn't mean to upset you-"Caleb turned around to correct her but Elyon raised a hand to silence him. "But I think it is time that you moved on with your life. You don't deserve this pain that Cornelia has put you through"
Caleb staggered backwards. No one as of yet had told him to basically just get over it before. There was his father who wanted him to feel his way out of Drake who just wanted to talk it out, but no one had ever once suggested to 'get over it'. And strangely it was the one option that appealed to Caleb.
But then there was the second part what she had said. Cornelia didn't put him through this intentionally. She obviously had something bigger in her life she was dealing with, anyway it was him who decided in the end to make it a clean and final break.
"Thanks Elyon but-"Caleb was cut off by a large alarm sounding in the direction of the palace.
Without a word the two both ran towards the horse which spooked slightly. Caleb jumped on the back and lift Elyon on behind him with one arm.
"Go Caleb" whispered Elyon, too scared to talk loudly.
Caleb urged the horse into a canter. What is it? What could possibly have happened? Please let everyone be safe.
The two were too caught up in their own terrible ideas of what had happened to even usher a word between each other. The horse cantered out of the tree line and onto the paved road. Its hoof beats echoing around the empty street.
Caleb saw the palace gates. People where all gathered there. Guards where running to and fro, council members were yelling orders. Caleb felt his stomach give way as he saw a group of men huddled to the side. What where they doing?
Caleb urged the horse into a fast gallop, he felt Elyon's body bump into his at the change of speed. As soon as Caleb was 10 meters from the council men he jumped off the horses back and ran to the closest member.
Panting heavily Caleb placed a hand on the man's shoulder.
"What?" he huffed not really wanting to hear the answer.
"Caleb, thank the gods! Where is the Queen?" asked the Council Member looking around Caleb's body.
"She is safe! What happened?" exclaimed Caleb.
"It was terrible! There was an attack, masked men came and killed, and went before anyone knew what was happening. Then there was an explosion, oh it was so big. So much fire" whispered the elderly man.
Caleb felt his head spin. Another attack. Deaths.
"Where" Elyon's soft voice from behind them came, almost lost in the alarm which still rang loud.
"The theatre your majesty. We thought that was where you were. We thought-" He stopped as he saw the look on the two faces in front of him.
"The theatre?" asked Elyon, her voice cracking.
"Yes". Elyon looked to Caleb, the fear etched in her face.
"What needs to be done?" asked Caleb as he ignored the uneasy feeling in his stomach.
"Guard have been sent to secure the town. People are putting out the fire at the theatre now, but there is no way it can be salvaged"
"The deaths. Who?" asked Elyon, her voice shaking as she braced herself for the worse.
The old Council Member shook his head. "I cannot say for sure"
"I have to go" said Caleb as he started in the direction of the large smoke cloud
"I will to"
"No" Caleb turned and looked at the Queen. "I am guessing they were after you, stay in the castle where it is safe"
Elyon opened her mouth to argue until it hit her. They were after her, and Caleb cared.
Caleb nodded his head as he mounted the forbidden horse once again.
Okay! So sorry about my major block for the last chapter! But a lot was on! I went to New Zealand and saw snow for the first time! Which was amazing!
Anyway about the story- what do you think so far? silly Caleb for just wanting to push away/block his feelings!
So please comment! What do you think about the characters? The plot? ANYTHING! Even just hi =)
Well thanks for reading!