Crossroads of Self-Destruction V- Desire In [Y]Our Eyes

The sky outside Kyouya’s bedroom windows was painted in deep shades of purple when we finally emerged from the bathroom. After showing me the beautifully honest side of him, I think Kyouya got slightly embarrassed for we remained perfectly quiet for the rest of our time in the bathtub together.

What if he noticed after all? Maybe he saw how excited I was to see his body naked and wet…and covered in aromatic steam… Kyouya’s body… No! He probably did not see anything, did he?

I cannot help but worry a little that he did notice. It is quite embarrassing to admit, but I find that Kyouya is extremely attractive in every aspect of the word, and I was happy to be able to see his body again in all of its unclothed glory. God, I sound like such a hopeless pervert, I know, but I wonder what he thinks about me…if he thinks about me at all. The possibility made me blush. For some reason, I never even imagined Kyouya to be capable of having such thoughts.

Sitting down on the edge of his bed, Kyouya longingly gazed into the darkness outside the glass. With a towel slung carelessly over his head and his glasses delicately cradled in his left hand, he sat there silently, as if meaning to occupy his mind. What kind of thoughts are racing through that beautiful, ingenious space right now? The possibility of me occupying his thoughts made my heart race and I stared on. I admired the sight from afar for a few moments, but the sadness reflecting from the black pearls he called “eyes” caused my heart to waver, and I slowly approached him.

Taking a seat next to him on the edge of the bed, I gently laid a hand on his thigh. He in turn turned his attention towards me, and that altogether made me very happy. That porcelain skin…those piercing black eyes…those delicate lips… I want to kiss him so bad. Kiss? No! Wait…yes! But… isn’t that out of the question? I mean, just because the feeling is mutual now doesn’t mean I can just go and make out with my best friend, right? Still, every time he looks at me with those eyes, I want to just throw myself at him and force him to be mine forever. God, Tamaki. This is what we call a potential rapist, but…it would not be rape if he liked it, right? What am I saying?! Wrong! A thousand times wrong!

His head tilted slightly in confusion, and he looked at me with dissecting eyes. I swallowed nervously before uttering, “Um...Kyouya?”

He looks on at me with his blank stare and simply asks, “What is it?”

Now my heart is fluttering rapidly. My breath is faltering and I wish I could just fall over dead. I feel as though I could from all this embarrassment. As I struggled to roll my thoughts off my tongue, I began to twiddle my thumbs dumbly, glancing away from his intense eyes.

They were so sharp, I feel as though he could see right through me. I feel as though he could see pass my questions and into my deepest thoughts. If he did, I wonder what he would think. Would he find me disgusting to harbour such fantasies about him, my own best friend? Or would he want to make those fantasies into reality with me? Or....would he be indifferent? Oh god, anything but that! I think if he were to simply not care, I would die on the spot.

With my fists now clenched together, I braced myself, summoning just the right amount of courage required to pose my question. “Is it...” As I stumbled on my words, I could feel myself turning colours. God, this is so embarrassing! I swallowed my pride, or fear, rather and went on. “Is it okay if I kiss you?” I finally spat, bracing myself again as if anticipating some brute impact upon my skin.

My violet eyes had snapped shut whilst the panic, and as I felt no violent throe against me, I slowly allow my eyes to open. There I found his face brought directly before mine, and with my pulse screaming rapidly within my neck, I stared into his deep eyes. I could see my own fears melting away in the reflection of his shining black eyes, and as he slowly gathered me into his arms, my eyes fluttered shut. His lips met mine and I could feel my blood rushing to my face as he gently laid me onto my back. With shy reluctance, I brought my arms up to cradle his smooth back, and with the same gentleness that he held his glass, Kyouya held me whilst our exchange of breathes.

In a moment, I feel as though all of my deepest feelings towards him were conveyed. Opening my eyes, I found his beautiful porcelain face hovering over me, his eyes diverted. As I looked at him for a moment longer, I saw hints of pink glowing on his cool cheeks, and I could not help but smile.

Kyouya caught me smiling and narrowed his eyes, only to have his face glow brighter. Never in a million years would I think that Kyouya Ootori would blush, or know how to blush for the matter. With my arms, I drew him down upon me again, and kissed his lips lightly. “What are you blushing about?” I laughed, almost forgetting my avant-kiss jitters. “I didn't even know the Great AB Devil Lord was even capable of blushing.”

Kyouya glared, and I immediately apologized. Letting out a sigh, his features softened, and he held me tightly. His breath was shaking as he spoke, “Hey, ‘Tosan...”

Half worried, and slightly amused, I replied, “Yes, ‘Kasan?”

“Our daughter is not here, so what do you say to some time alone?” Kyouya asked, suddenly a hint of suggestiveness in his voice.

“B-but, we are alone,” I replied, stuttering dumbly.

“You know what I mean...” He answered, and before I could speak again, my lips were sealed with his, and he drew a soft moan from my throat; my wordless consent.

My eyes, unsuspecting as they were, remained open for a short moment before they fluttered close; I allowed myself to be swept from sense. How in the world did we fall into this? Now as he drew back, my amethyst gaze met those shining, black pearls, and I immediately recognized that glint in his eyes. They were the same as mine: the desire to become one with Kyouya, just as he desires to become one with me.