Author: high improbability PM
Sapphire is stuck babysitting the other Dex Holders' kids while their parents are on business. But what are they REALLY doing? R&R!Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Family/Humor - Words: 3,032 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 3 - Published: 05-31-08 - Status: Complete - id: 4290508
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
OK, in this fic, I'm going to make it so that everybody knows everybody, so don't wonder why they're all so close and that Diamond, Pearl, and Berlitz are in this fic.
Oh, yea. I DON'T OWN POKEMON.
Sapphire relaxed on the couch watching a movie. "Aah…" she said softly, relaxing in her warm air of solitude. "This is the life… The only thing that could make this better is…"
Sighing, Sapphire stopped the movie on the DVD player and went outside. As she opened the door, a little five-year-old girl came waddling toward her in tears.
"Oh, Amethyst, WHAT did you do?" she cried in frustration, scooping her daughter up. "I – I didn't do anything!" the little girl wailed between sobs. "It was Cyan!" she suddenly accused, pointing at Green and Blue's five-year-old son. "He overturned my hoverboard!" Sapphire looked sternly at the Green look-alike. True, he does look like Green, she thought. But, she added, looking at his supposedly-innocent face, he has Blue's nature. And knowing Blue… "That's it!" she yelled. "Both of you are getting a TIME-OUT!" Amethyst pouted at her mother and went inside the house and Cyan sauntered off to the other end of the yard.
It started a chain reaction. Scarlett, Red and Yellow's six-year-old daughter, started laughing hysterically. While in her hysterics, she fell on top of her baby brother, Orange, who, of course, started crying loudly. And Gold and Crystal's four-year-old daughter Dandelion's hands rushed up to her ears, but not without jostling Amethyst's two-year-old brother, Onyx, in the stomach. Onyx involuntarily walked a few steps back, and bumped into Aquamarine, Cyan's twin sister. Having inherited Green's hot temper, she launched a punch at Onyx, but only to have him dodge and she hit Dandelion's brother, Topaz, in the gut. Topaz started bawling and ran to Sapphire, who was again relaxing on the couch, oblivious on what was going on. But in his hurry he bumped into Amethyst, who was slinking around a precious Ming dynasty vase. Amethyst, of course, bumped into the vase and it hit the floor with a resounding…
Sapphire whirled around and saw the pieces of her valuable vase scattered across the floor.
"KYAAAA!" she screamed. "MY VASE!!"
Because of her scream, Amethyst and Topaz started crying very loudly.
The children outside heard them and started crying too. Sapphire's head felt like it was about to burst. "Gah!" she yelled, almost in tears. "How did I get myself into this mess anyway?!"
Ruby stuck his head down the stairs and called to his wife.
"I have some business to attend to. Would you take care of Amethyst and Onyx the day I'm gone?"
"Sure! Why not?"
Just then, the phone rang. Sapphire picked it up.
"Hello?" she asked. Crystal's voice came from the other line.
"Oh, Sapphire!" she cried. "Gold and I are celebrating our wedding anniversary and no one else is available to take care of Topaz and Dandelion! Could you…"
Sapphire sighed. "Sure. I'm taking care of our kids too, so you could drop them off at our house."
"Thanks, Sapph! I knew I could count on you!"
"You're welcome, Crys."
As soon as she hung up the phone, the doorbell rang. As she rang to get it, she almost tripped over one of Amethyst's dolls. She made a mental note to clean it up later.
She opened the door.
"Hey, Blue! How're you doing?"
"Oh, Sapphire!" her friend cried, sighing. "Green and I have a business meeting to attend to and we couldn't find a babysitter for Cyan and Aqua and…" but before she could finish her sentence Sapphire cut her off. "Don't worry. I'll take care if your kids." Blue's face lit up. "Oh, thanks, Sapph!" she cried, tackling the brunette to the floor.
As soon as Blue left, the phone rang again. Sapphire sighed, picked it up, and answered. "Hello?"
"Sapphire?" the voice on the other line said. "It's Yellow. Well, you see, Red and I have a dinner party and we need someone to look after Scarlett and Orange."
Sapphire inwardly groaned, but she reluctantly agreed to her friend's plans. "Thanks so much, Sapphire!" Yellow cried. "You're welcome," Sapphire said slowly as she hung up the phone.
Unbeknownst to her, she had just made the biggest mistake of her life.
"Waah!" wailed Sapphire. She went outside to comfort the crying kids.
"There, there, Scarlett… Oh, Dandelion, stop crying… Aqua, sweetie…Onyx, honey, mommy's here… Shhh…Orange… Cyan, please stop crying..."
Two hours later, Sapphire had a horrible headache.
MEANWHILE, AT RED'S DINNER PARTY, 7:30 pm…
Blue relaxed in her chair reading a book. She knew she had to be at a business meeting with Green (who was right next to her) but it had been cancelled and she didn't want to go home just yet, and her husband shared the same sentiments. Suddenly, Crystal's figure towered over her.
"Blue!" Crystal cried. "You do realize that when Sapphire finds out that you're not at your 'meeting,' she's going to kill you!"
Blue yawned. "Look who's talking! Your 'wedding anniversary celebration' with Gold ended four hours ago! I don't see you or Gold going home."
Crystal grinned. "True, true…"
Yellow was at a table with all the other Dex Holders. (except for Silver, because she didn't exactly trust him. He was at the dinner party, just not…socializing. More like sitting in a corner sulking. Emerald wasn't there either, because HE was actually doing business.) She turned to them. "Isn't it cruelty to leave Sapphire with our kids while we're all here having fun?" she asked. Pearl shrugged. "I don't know!" he said. "That's YOUR problem. I, for one, don't have kids. I'm not even married!" "Yeah," Green smirked. "You don't even have a girlfriend." Pearl frowned. "Not such a chick magnet now, huh, Pearl?" Diamond laughed. "At least I have a girlfriend!" he said, gesturing over to the girl whom only HE knew the first name. "Ah, no matter," Ruby said, "I'm sure she can handle it…"
BACK TO SAPPHIRE…
"I can't handle this anymore!" Sapphire cried, hugging a pillow for support. She had all put the kids to bed, but one would occasionally pop up and say that he/she was hungry or thirsty, was asking for a story, or just plain wet the bed. "I am going to call these kids' parents and file a complaint!"
The brunette grabbed the telephone and started pushing Gold's cell phone numbers. "That's funny…" she said, "Gold isn't answering." She tried Crystal's number. "She's not at home, either…" she said. "Maybe they got delayed on their anniversary celebration." She tried the same with all the other Dex Holders (except Silver, because she didn't exactly trust him either.), but they either had their cell phones on silent mode or they forgot it at home.
Sapphire sighed. "Last one. If Diamond doesn't answer…"
Sapphire was about to hang up when Diamond picked up. (He was apparently the only one who had the sense to bring his cell and NOT put it on silent mode – except Silver. But as I said, she doesn't trust him. And, last thing: he was conveniently in the bathroom so they wouldn't hear him or else the ending would be ruined.)
"Oh, Diamond!" she cried.
"Hello?" Diamond said. "Sapphire? Is that you?"
"Yeah. Diamond, I seriously need your help. Can you come over here RIGHT NOW?"
"Sorry, I can't. I'm on a date with…you know…"
"Ah – so you're on a date with Ms. Berlitz…OK, where's Pearl?"
"He's with us."
"You're letting PEARL tag along on your DATE? Did the word PRIVACY ever strike you?"
"Well, yes…but we're here at Yellow's party with Green, Blue, Gold and Crystal and…"
MEANWHILE, AT THE DINNER PARTY…
Gold had 'conveniently' entered the bathroom while Diamond was conversing with Sapphire.
"Diamond!" he cried. "You weren't supposed to tell her that! Blue's going to kill us!"
"No, you dolt! Do you have ANY idea on what Sapphire is going to do to us?"
BACK TO SAPPHIRE…
Sapphire could hear another voice behind the phone. A voice that sounded suspiciously like Gold's…
"Hello?" she spoke. "Diamond?"
Diamond came on the line.
"Right…" he sighed, hesitating. "Sapphire, forget I ever told you where we are, okay?"
THE DINNER PARTY…
"Diamond, you are SO gonna get it," Gold said, leaning against the door.
"Yeah," Pearl said, coming in to answer nature's call. "No way is Sapphire dumb enough to fall for THAT. Blue is going to kill them."
Diamond gulped. "I'm in trouble, aren't I?"
"Big-time," Pearl said evilly.
BACK TO SAPPHIRE…
"THEY'RE WHERE?" she yelled when Diamond came back on the line.
"Er…right…" Diamond sighed. "Forget we ever had this conversation, okay? Bye!" And then he hung up.
Sapphire was fuming. "Ooh… they are so going to get it when they get back…"
Sapphire whirled around. Amethyst and Onyx were crying loudly. "Oh, honey, what happened?" she asked, scooping her little daughter up. "Onyx wet bed!" the little girl murmured softly. "It might have been a bad idea to put the two of you in the same bed," her mother said, sighing. "At least only two of them woke up," she said.
But alas, this night was NOT meant to be peaceful. The scream had naturally woken up all the other kids, and soon Sapphire had a roomful of crying kids to worry about.
After changing Onyx's diapers, the wet sheets, and calming down everyone else (which took about one hour), Sapphire settled down onto the couch, a frown on her face. "Why wait until they get back?" she whispered evilly. "I am going over to that dinner party…" But a thought struck her. "But there's always the kid problem," she said, frowning. Ugh, she moaned, I guess I'm just going to have to leave them with my last resort…
TEN MINUTES LATER…
"Silver, get over here RIGHT NOW," she almost screamed into the phone.
"No way." The redhead's answer was not exactly satisfying, but that didn't stop Ruby's wife from trying again.
"Oh, c'mon, Silver!"
"As I said before, no way."
"But what you're doing at that dinner party sounds BORING. Come over here NOW. You know you want to get away from there," she said sweetly, her voice dripping with honey and syrup.
"Yes! Thanks, Silver! Come over here in fifteen minutes," Sapphire cried, proud that she had been able to break through Silver's hard exterior and persuade him to come do babysitting.
FIFTEEN MINUTES LATER…
Softly closing the door to the room where the kids were sleeping, Sapphire opened the front door.
The grumpy redhead grunted something under his breath. Sapphire led him to the kitchen anyway and began to lecture him.
"If the kids wake up, get some milk from the fridge to calm them down. If that doesn't work, take out the humongous teddy bear from the closet. But that really won't work with the boys so the action figures are in the…"
But Silver wasn't really listening. He was listening to the iPod he had brought.
"…and whatever you do, DON'T EVER TURN ON THE TELEVISION, it somehow wakes them all up," Sapphire finished. Then she noticed that her red-haired companion didn't appear to be interested. She ripped off the earphones.
"Hey!" Silver cried. "I was listening to that!"
"Did you get all that, Silver?" she asked sweetly.
"Uh…sure," he said, wanting to get back to listening to the music.
"OK! Bye!!" she called, walking out the door.
Silver looked to see if she was gone, then flopped onto the couch and turned on the television…
AT THE DINNER PARTY, THIRTY MINUTES LATER…
"Aaah…" Blue relaxed onto a chaise lounge, eating a crème brulée. (Did I spell it right?) Crystal was talking with Red and Yellow, and Ruby was reading a book while half-listening to Gold and Green blabbering about something.
Suddenly the door flew open, and there stood a very angry Sapphire. Diamond started shifting guiltily in his seat.
"I see you guys are done with your businesses, eh?" she said evilly.
"Uh-oh…" was all Blue could say.
Silver came up behind Sapphire. "Busted," he smirked softly.
Ruby sighed. "Honey, is this really necessary?" he asked, dropping a grape into his wife's outstretched hand.
"Yeah," Green piped up, halfway through the massage he was giving her. "We could just send you to a five-star hotel somewhere…"
"Oh, Ruby. Of course it's necessary! I just felt like this was a better way to even the score," Sapphire said, smirking on the couch. "Crystal! I'm thirsty!"
Crystal came to Sapphire sighing, orange juice in hand. The brunette took a sip of it, and then turned to Blue. "Could you give me a foot massage?" Blue grunted something, then reluctantly obliged.
Sapphire turned to the kitchen. "Oh Go-old!" she called. "I'm HUNGRY!"
Crystal's husband came to the brunette with apple tarts on a dish. He turned to his wife. "How did we get ourselves into this mess?" he wailed.
Blue frowned. "Let's see... it had something to do with Sapphire mysteriously finding out what we were doing," she said loudly, glaring at Diamond, "and then she said we had to be her slaves for a day or else." Crystal frowned too. "Sometimes, I wonder what would happen if we took the or else."
Ruby half-smiled. "You DON'T want to know."
Meanwhile, on the patio, Emerald, Diamond, Pearl, Berlitz, Red and Yellow were watching them and sniggering. "Do you think – laugh – they'll be all right?" Berlitz said, wiping tears of laughter from her eyes.
"Not really," Red cried.
"Well – laugh – at least they – laugh – learned their lesson!" Pearl said, clutching his stomach with laughter.
"Yeah," Yellow grinned. "Don't EVER leave Sapphire with all your kids." She turned to Silver, who was scrubbing the floor on order of Sapphire. "Ne, what did happen with you and the kids? I thought you were taking care of them?"
"Oh, yeah!" Diamond said, struck with understanding. "What did happen? What were the kids doing when you were at the dinner party with Sapphire? And why are YOU working when you helped her out?"
Silver turned pale. "You DON'T want to know."
DELETED SCENE: WHAT WENT DOWN BETWEEN SILVER AND THE KIDS
OR: WHY SILVER IS SCRUBBING FLOORS
As you can see from above, Silver turned on the television at full volume. After all, he wasn't listening to Sapphire, now, was he?
As expected, a rising chorus of "WAAAAH!" was heard from the bedroom. Silver groaned. What did Sapphire say to do again? Of course he didn't know. So he just did the first thing that came to his mind. He went up and asked them, "Okay, kids, what do you want to do?"
They wanted to play with the dolls. Even the boys.
"No way am I playing with those dolls!" Silver yelled, causing little Orange to cry loudly and the others to sob. Silver sighed. Even he didn't exactly want pandemonium.
The kids cheered up immediately. "Yay!" they yelled. They took out a bunch of girl dolls from a closet. After ten minutes of playing, they forced Silver to play with them.
Naturally, poor Silver couldn't take it. So he took a knife and sliced Barbie's head off.
It sent the kids crying. After fifteen minutes of chaos, Aquamarine decided to watch television. The others agreed ecstatically, and they all started to stumble towards the television. Silver sighed in relief – at least he had those critters out of his hair. But then little Dandelion turned around and pulled "Uncle Silver" to the television. Silver groaned. But he was more afraid of what Sapphire would do to him. "Okay, what do you want to watch?"
"Barney!" the kids all cried in unison.
"Oh God please no!" he cried. "Don't you just want to watch a sports game or something?"
"No way! Barney! We wanna watch Barney!"
Silver reluctantly agreed, silently praying that he could live through the ultimate punishment.
He apparently couldn't.
Halfway through the show, he couldn't take it anymore. So he took out a gun and blew up the TV, then took out a fire extinguisher just in case.
Another crying crisis happened.
Now even Silver was pushed to his limits. "THAT'S IT! I'VE HAD IT WITH YOU KIDS! I'M CALLING EMERALD!!" he yelled, not bothering to calm down the children.
TWENTY MINUTES LATER…
"Okay, Silver, I'm here!" Emerald greeted cheerfully. "What did you want me to do?"
"Take care of these kids," he said, gesturing to the bunch of toddlers. "I'm outta here."
"But don't you think Sapphire will get mad that you blew up her television set?" Emerald asked, noticing the big black spot where the TV was supposed to be.
"No she won't."
"Whatever you say, Silver."
Boy was Silver ever wrong. When Sapphire dragged everybody back to her house, she found Emerald taking care of the children, a bunch of beheaded Barbie dolls, and her television set blown up.
"Silver!" she screamed at the escaping redhead.
DONE! Finally! So, what did you think? R&R if you can, please! Amethyst-chan, signing off.