The Wizard of PROZ

Chapter 9: Split in Two

Amber removed the witch hat she was wearing, giving her blonde hair a shake after doing so. She pushed some papers out of her way, and sat down on House's desk.

Thirteen looked around, trying to figure out where exactly what she was seeing was coming from. There were no mysteriously magical screens laying around, no random images in the sky, nothing. It was almost like what she was seeing was in her own head, but at the same time, it was like she was there, watching what was happening. She could still seeKutner walking beside her, could still hear Foreman and Taub trailing behind them, was still surrounded by trees. She continued to walk along the same road as before, but she was also back in House's office, feeling his carpet beneath her feet, hearing his papers rustle as Amber cast them aside.

Wilson, who was still blushing a soft shade of pink, was going about gathering up his hastily removed clothes and pulling them back on, attempting in vain to ease out the wrinkles with his hands. House was clad only in his boxers, but he did not feel the need to get dressed any time soon. Amber raised an eyebrow at him, and he just smirked, raising an eyebrow back and saying, "What? Like what you see?"

Thirteen laughed. She was dreaming about Amber and House flirting, great. Just when she thought this whole experience could not get any weirder, it did.

"What's so funny?" Kutner asked. When she didn't respond, he waved a hand in front of her face. "Hello, Thirteen."

She glanced over at him, feeling a little embarrassed about spacing out like that. "What?"

"What are you laughing at?"

"Oh, Am- nothing. Just remembered a joke." She couldn't really understand what was going on herself, and she didn't think she could explain it while making any sort of looked at her suspiciously, before a grin broke out on his face.

"So, this baby seal, it walked into a club."

She heard Foreman snort and she rolled her eyes. "You're the king of comedy, Kutner, seriously."

"I try."

"I think she may be waking up soon," House said, a very serious look on his face.

Kutner looked up from the newspaper he had stolen from Foreman. "How can you tell?" he asked curiously.

"The mumbling is getting more coherent," he pointed out, rolling his eyes as if it were obvious.

"Are you sure that's an indication of her being closer to consciousness?" Wilson pressed, raising an eyebrow.

House rolled his eyes again, this time towards Wilson. "Of course it is, Wilson!" he said, thumping Wilson on the back of the head. "And she just said 'ugh, I don't need to see this'," he added. "Which means something disgusting is happening in her imaginary world. I wonder what?"

"Maybe it's an Amber-House-Wilson threesome," Kutner retorted sarcastically, smirking slightly.

Amber snorted with laughter. "Oh yeah, I'm so hot for you right now."

Thirteen managed to control any sort of outburst she might have had that time, but just barely. This dream was seriously disturbing her.

"That would make two of you." House nodded at Wilson, who was still trying to make himself look presentable, for one reason or another.

"You know," Amber said. "You two could have just kept going. No need to throw all your clothes back on, Wilson."

"I keep telling him that, but he never listens to me." House and Amber both laughed, and Wilson rolled his eyes at them.

"I really hate it when you two decide to get along."

Thirteen really hated it when her subconscious decided to mess with her like this. Her head was starting to hurt just thinking about being in two places at once, and she was not liking it at all. She was walking, yet she was standing still. When she looked up, she was met with both the sky and a familiar tile ceiling. There were two separate groups of people in her midst, but they were both separated from one another. She rubbed her head and Kutner gave her a concerned look.

"What's wrong?" he asked her.

"We're not getting along," Amber insisted. "We just both happen to be teasing you at the same time."

"Nothings wrong," Thirteen lied. "My head just hurts a little."

"Should we rest again?" He looked around, his eyes resting on a large tree shading a section of grass. He motioned for Foreman andTaub to follow him, and he grabbed Thirteen's elbow. "Let's sit down, just for a bit."

Thirteen mumbled something about her head hurting, and House looked up at some of the monitor's attached to her. "She has a headache," he said. He slowly got up, pulled a pen light out of his pocket, and began checking her pupils. Thirteen let out a groan of pain. After he was satisfied, he sat back down.

"Well?" Wilson said, expecting House to fill them all in.

"Normal pupil response. She's most likely starting to wake up, and she hit her head twice, so of course it hurts." He shrugged. "Hopefully, we won't be waiting much longer."

"Head hurts," Thirteen said, her voice far more clear than it had previously been. She was no longer mumbling incoherently, and had moved on from random words and names to full sentences. Her expressions matched her words, and Wilson flagged down a nurse to get her some pain medicine for the headache.

Kutner frowned. "Do you think she'll be alright?"

House rolled his eyes. "Kutner, are you a doctor, or did you fake that resume?" He muttered something under his breath when Wilson gave him a stern look, clearly disapproving. "You already know this, but she will most likely be fine. We'll do another CT after she wakes up."

"Yeah, I know that," Kutner said quietly. "Just a little worried, you know?" He shrugged.

"You should see what Wilson does when he's worried." House motioned toward Wilson, a slight grin on his face. "He's the king of worrying."

"You are such a caring person, or something," Wilson said.

"It's not that we're agreeing about anything," House added. "Just that we both happened to decide you're pathetic at the same time."

Wilson laughed. "Oh yeah, that is exactly what is going on here."

Wilson's laugh sounded as if he was right next to her, as if the sound was going directly into her ears. She closed her eyes and rubbed at them with her palms. The closer they got to Princeton-Plainsboro, the more vivid her images of House, Wilson, and Amber got. The feeling of being in two places at once was much stronger than it had originally been, and she wanted more than anything to wake up and stop feeling that way. She couldn't help but think that the headache wouldn't go away, however, as it was highly possible the pain was from an actual headache caused by the two times she had banged her head. She could deal with that, though, at least she'd only be in one place.

House balled up a piece of paper and threw it at Wilson. "Stop worrying about the wrinkles in your shirt and take it off again."

"Ugh," Thirteen said, burying her face in her heads. "I am getting so sick of this."

"Yeah, give us a little show." Amber grinned perversely.

Foreman and Taub exchanged a look, clearly sharing the opinion that Thirteen had gone crazy. Kutner didn't really know what to do, as he had no idea what she was talking about, but he awkwardly patted her on the shoulder, hoping to provide a little bit of comfort.

Wilson mumbled something about House and Amber being mental, and he slowly took off his shirt, exaggerating his movements as he worked his fingers over the buttons of his shirt. He stuck his tongue out at House when the other man let out a snort of laughter. Amber snapped her fingers, and a video camera on a tripod appeared out of nowhere.

"Good idea," House said.

Kutner stood up and gently pulled Thirteen along with him. "We're almost back to Princeton-Plainsboro," he said. "I'm sure House can make your head feel better."

"How much longer?" Kutner whined. "I want to go get something to eat..." he added.

"Be patient Kutner, she is your girlfriend," Foreman said, glaring at Kutner. Whining was just too annoying for him to handle right now.

"I wouldn't call her my girlfriend, per se," he replied with a lazy, mischievous smirk. "But I get your meaning."

Taub snorted. "Not your girlfriend? What else would you call her?"

Kutner thought for a moment. "I... don't really know. She's my friend."

"Friend with benefits?" Taub suggested.

"No, I wouldn't call her that either." Kutner shook his head. "I don't really call her anything. She's just Thirteen. Only, not really, because that's not her name."

House let out a gasp of faux shock. "It's not?" he said, sounding scandalised. "And here I was, all this time, thinking it was so odd that a parent would name their child after a number."

"Shut up House," Kutner replied good-naturedly. "You got my meaning," he said. "She's just Thirteen, I'm just Kutner. It's not a boyfriend-girlfriend or a friends-with-benefits thing," he explained. "But it's a lot of fun."

"Keep at it while you're young," Taub said, rolling his eyes slightly.

"We should hurry this up." Amber got off the desk and started to remove her clothing as well. "Those people who delivered the letter to me are on their way back here."

"Wilson won't need that much time anyway." House gestured toward a certain part of Wilson's anatomy, and Amber laughed.

"Oh yeah, you got him nice and ready."

Thirteen groaned, trying to get the image out of her head. If there was some way to kill the part of her subconscious responsible for all of this, she would get on that without a second thought. Kutner was holding onto her elbow, leading her down the road. It felt like ages, but soon enough Princeton-Plainsboro was once again in sight. Her head felt like it was going to split open, and the events that were occurring were ones she felt she could have gone her whole life without wanting to see.

Wilson, House, and Amber were laying on the floor of House's office, breathing heavily and trying to recover from their activities. Wilson's arm was wrapped around Amber, and she was pressed against his side. House was absent-mindedly playing with Wilson's hair. He stuck his tongue out at Amber, and she grabbed it. Before she could pull her fingers away, House's teeth came down on them, and she inhaled a sharp intake of air, glaring at him as she tucked her injured fingers between herself and Wilson.

"Play nice, you two."

They stood outside the door of House's building once again. They'd been knocking for about five minutes, and nobody had answered yet. Thirteen knew why, obviously, but she wasn't about to tell the others that.

"Get dressed, I'm going to go get the door." Wilson had already redressed himself, and he was in the process of brushing his hair, not wanting anything to seem amiss.

Finally, Wilson answered the door, and Thirteen looked up at the sky, not wanting to look at him. Fortunately, his appearance caused all visions of House's office to cease, as if some sort of spell had been broken. Thirteen's head still hurt, however, and a disembodied voice appeared out of nowhere almost as soon as Thirteen started feeling like she was once again only in one place.

"She better wake up, soon, I'm going to stab somebody if I don't get out of this room soon."

It was House's voice, and it sounded faint, as if off in the distance. Thirteen realised she was probably hearing the real House, and she knew that if that were true, she was very close to finally waking from this dream.