Author: shadow243ali PM
The Doctor is many things... The comedic version of what the words meant in the episode 'Family Of Blood'.Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Humor/Parody - 10th Doctor & Rose T. - Chapters: 4 - Words: 5,231 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 01-13-09 - Published: 06-03-08 - id: 4297798
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
AN: Whoops, I kind of forgot about this story if I'm honest, but I have been busy. A review from welshdragon prompted me to remember and the half finished chapter I've had on my computer suddenly got finished. I couldn't think of what to do really so I just went with the first random thing that came into my head. Plus if I'm not that good at writing Jack so I apologize if it's bad.
He's Like The Night
The shadow crept through the darkened corridor. An eerie light - however minimal it was - made his silhouette all the more unnatural. Its owner was not a predator of the night, but its movements were calculated and quick.
Intelligence was its mastermind. It had brought the plan out of the deep dark crevasses of his mind and into the view. A perfect plan, he decided, a brilliant plan. One that no one could ruin, maybe not even himself. The perfect plan...for revenge.
The Doctor swore under his breath as his toe hit against something hard. This wasn't the Tardis so he didn't know the corridors like the back of his hands, but he wasn't going to let that small detail stop him. He felt for the wall again, before continuing.
His steps were light; each of his feet clad in only socks and armed with the knowledge that shoes would make too much noise against the grated floor. That tidbit of information and that hamsters didn't like him. He didn't know why, and it wasn't really relevant to what he was about to do, but at least if he happened to come upon a hamster in his midnight prowl then it would be best to walk in a different direction.
He suddenly found himself by the door of his intended target. He smiled to himself as he dug his hand into his pocket, making sure he had definitely had the object otherwise his late night adventure would have been for nothing. He smiled. It was still there, just like it had been the five other times he had checked.
He opened the door. It didn't squeak, like he almost expected it to.
He stepped inside the room, closing the door gently behind him and quickly tiptoed towards the bed.
"What are you doing?" he swung around on his toes, almost yelling out in surprise as a hand clapped on to his arm.
"What are you doing here?" he whispered quietly, regaining his composure.
Rose feigned innocence, raising her hands in the process, "I heard you pacing the corridors." He silently cursed his feet; they made way too much noise, "I figured you were up to something." She looked over his shoulder to the sleeping figure in the bed whose silhouette was being lit up by the moonlight, "What are you going to do to Jack?"
He hid his hands behind his back, "Nothing."
She raised an eyebrow, which he could barely see in the darkness of the room, "Doctor." she warned.
"Fine." He huffed, "I drugged him."
"You drugged him!" Her voice rose in volume and he promptly responded by 'Shhh-ing' her, "Sorry," she whispered, "You drugged him! Why?"
"So I could sneak in without him waking up and..." He trailed away as Jack made a loud groan behind him. He held his breath until he went back to snoring.
"I've never noticed how loud he snores."
"Yeah..." He agreed.
"Still he's not as bad as you."
"Yeah..." He replied absentmindedly, "Wait, what?" She stared blankly at him, "I don't snore!"
"You do." She stated, "Remember that time we got stuck overnight in that ice planet. You know, because of the snowstorm even though it was meant to be the planet's equivalent to summer."
"I said I was sorry." He protested, "How was I meant to realise that I had accidentally set it to the wrong month?"
"By checking first?" she suggested, "If you had then I wouldn't have stepped outside wearing a bikini and sarong and I wouldn't have had to spend an hour walking in the freezing cold after it turns out we landed in the middle of a sacred festival."
"I gave you my coat to keep you warm!" he pointed out, receiving a glare in return.
"Yeah, I was still wearing sandals as we walked through the snow."
"And I apologized and they gave you back your bag of spare clothes. And I started a fire once we found a room at that hotel."
"Yeah and you nearly set fire to the curtains! Twice!"
The Doctor awkwardly scratched the back of his head, "Yeah, I suppose that did happen but…" Rose raised an eyebrow, "Sorry." He mumbled, casting his head downwards.
"Yeah, well next time, just check before we leave. Now tell me what you're planning to do to Jack."
The Doctor grinned, "Well…"
And then he began to explain.
"What?" She shouted, Jack didn't stir from his slumber, "You're going to do what?"
"Well, I just told you! And will you keep it down! He's drugged, but by how loud you're shouting you could probably wake up the whole place."
"You're the one going around drugging people so you can-" The Doctor lamped a hand of Rose's mouth and she mumbled into it.
"Shhh!" he whispered. "Can you hear something?"
Rose tensed instantly; her ears strained to hear for noise, "What is-"
He lamped a hand over her mouth and pushed her back against the wall. She would have let out a yelp of surprise had it not been for the fact he had a hand covered over her mouth. She locked gazes with him and noticed that he had not found anything strange to what he was doing, seeing as he was now averting his gaze away form her and towards the closed door with suspicion.
A creak seemed to echo from behind the door as a foot pushed against the squeaky floorboard, the handle twitched slightly before it turned, the door opening slightly.
The Doctor pushed her into the wall even more, pressing himself against her in an effort to hide himself from view. So much so that Rose wouldn't have been surprised if they both fell through the wall.
Rose could just glimpse the side of a head, peering in. Had it not been for the fact they were directly behind the door, they would have stood out even amongst the darkness of the room.
After a moment's pause the door closed and with the fading footsteps, Rose released a breath she had not realised she had been holding. She turned her gaze to the Doctor who had not moved, and was still listening intently.
She attempted to say something to draw his attention, but his hand was still pressed against her mouth so all that managed to get out was an incoherent mumble.
Yet it did the trick.
He turned to look at her, their eyes staring at each other – an unspoken conversation going on within them. She had not noticed until that very moment how close in proximity their faces were from each other.
The same thought seemed to have struck the Doctor who after a mumbled apology, averted his gaze and dropped the hand from her mouth, taking a step away from her in the process.
"Ok then," He turned, a grin returning to his face, "Now let's get back to the plan."
She laughed lightly at the childish glee in his eyes, still apparent in the glimmer of moonlight from the window that lightened his face, "You are such a child." She stated with a grin.
"Am not!" The Doctor protested, his stomping foot and pout contrasting to his statement.
She rolled her eyes," You so are!"
"Take that back, Rose Tyler!"
"Yes…" Rose gave a pointed look and realisation dawned on him, he dropped the finger he had been pointing at her with a sigh as he resigned himself to the facts, "Oh fine, I am a child."
"Told you so." She whispered, "So what should we do first?"
He reached within his jacket and pulled out a small bag. Rose's eyes widened as she recognised the pattern adorning it, "Oi! That's mine!"
The Doctor looked down, a look of guilt gracing his features, but she knew that face very well and he was not one bit guilty, "What else was I meant to use?"
"I…" She faltered, as she imagined the Doctor heading into a shop, browsing the aisle and getting strange looks from women, "…dunno. Get your own next time!"
"Fine I will." He pulled another familiar item out of Rose, "I'll get this next time as well, but for now I'll just have to borrow your things."
Rose's face grew crimson with embarrassment; she was thankful that it was dark, but embarrassment soon turned to anger, "You went through my underwear drawer!" she shouted, Jack stirred once more but remained oblivious as he continued to snore.
"Sorry." The Doctor grinned sheepishly.
"Oh you will be!" she muttered darkly, staring daggers at him.
"Let's get on with this. Think of how funny it'll be. It'll make you laugh," The Doctor offered weakly, "I promise."
"It would be more funny if it didn't involve anything that belonged to me."
"I know." He offered her the bag, "First honours."
She rolled her eyes at him and took the bag from his hands, "Fine."
Jack yawned as he stretched his arms as the morning sunrays poured in from his open window. He stretched his neck, rubbing his eyes as he stood up for the first time and suddenly felt…unusual.
He looked down, and raised an eyebrow in surprise to find himself dressed in woman's clothes, a bra and skirt in fact. And pantyhose?
"Haven't had this happen in a while." He muttered to himself, admiring his legs, "Not too bad."
What had he done last night? His head was killing him, probably one to many to drink. Now, where were his clothes?
Jack spied a wardrobe nearby and opened it to find it empty. He also happened to glance at his reflection; his normally rugged good looks were smeared with excessive amounts of make up. Although the eye shadow did suit his eyes.
He shrugged his shoulders, went to the door and opened it, walking out. The Doctor and Rose had to be somewhere around here.
He finally found them in the dining room of the hotel. He wasn't surprised that on his way here, a few raised eyebrows had occurred and a couple of giggles from some very eye pleasing girls. He winked at them cheekily, causing them to giggle once more.
Jack took a seat beside the Doctor and Rose, who were staring at him slack jawed, stealing a piece of toast from the Doctor's plate. He took a bite before calmly asking, "I must have one hell of evening last night. Seen my clothes around anywhere?"
The Doctor and Rose turned to look at each other before they promptly fell about laughing, tears streaming down their face.
"Very funny guys." Jack commented as they continued to their hysteria, "I'll be in the Tardis."
He patted the Doctor on the back – very hard – before walking out with his head held high. He noticed the giggling girls one again on his way out, "Hello ladies."
Rose, who was in still in view of Jack, nudged the Doctor who looked and the duo found themselves laughing even harder, "Oh that was funny." The Doctor finally commented.
"So funny." She agreed, "Never wearing those again."
"I think it suits him." Rose smiled. The Doctor joined in. "What should we do next time?"
AN: Yes, I haven't updated this in months. I am so SO SO very sorry but you have to admit, the chapter is a bit funny? Is it not? Imagine Jack Harkness in drag…come on, that's funny. Who knows if there'll be a new chapter, but this story will live on as long as I can think of ideas. Review if you have the chance or if you would like another chapter.