Notes on an Aftermath

Chapter Three: Letdown

Casey had nearly forgotten about her meeting with Jack McCoy, that after falling asleep and getting in a much needed nap. The moment she woke up, she realized that she was completely late, and it made her cry. She spent another twenty minutes in her bathroom trying to compose herself and swallowing four Pepto-Bismol caplets to calm her stomach.

Now she is rushing down the hallway of the DA’s office to Jack’s office, and before she gets there, she stops and takes out her mirror, checking her appearance. She is pale and her eyes are red and bloodshot. She blinks a few times then she pinches her cheeks to put some color back into them then she pockets her mirror. She takes in a deep breath and she knocks on the door to Jack’s office.

He is hunched over his desk, writing something on his legal pad, and she knocks again.

He looks up and then he waves her in.

Casey opens up the door and steps in, closing it.

“I’m sorry I’m late,” she sighs, combing her fingers through her hair. “I had a rough morning and-”

“Spare me the excuses, Casey,” Jack interrupts harshly.

Casey is taken aback by his stern tone, but then again, he has always been a stern man so she quickly realizes that her reaction to him is unwarranted.

“Would you care to explain to me why you tried to bury evidence in a high profile rape case?” He asks.

“I didn’t try to bury evidence,” she sighs. “I-I know that the reports were dated and stamped but I just…wanted to be absolutely sure. I wanted it to show that it was Crane’s DNA. Crane was guilty, Jack.”

“Whether he was guilty or not at the time, you denied Detective Crane his civil liberties by withholding official evidence from the defense,” he says, getting up from his desk. He begins to pace around his office. “You do realize that your career is in jeopardy, don’t you?”

Casey combs her fingers through her hair and she nods. “Yeah. But I’m not sorry for what I did. Crane deserved to rot and to be perfectly honest, I’m not sorry he’s dead. To hell with him and Kralik.”

Jack looks at her solemnly. “I share your sentiments, Casey, I really do. But this time you’ve let your personal feelings allow you to cross too far over the line, and you can’t possibly expect everyone else to bend over backward for you to make sure that you keep practicing law this way.”

She feels her emotions beginning to spiral out of her control and she begins to breathe a little faster.

“Somebody had to put that bastard away,” she says indignantly, tearfully. “If twelve people weren’t going to do it, then someone had to.”

She gets up and begins to leave then she turns back to McCoy angrily.

“You know what the worst part of this whole thing is?” She asks rhetorically. “I can deal with a censure or a suspension…that’s fine. I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself. But the fact that you were going to screw me over long before this case pisses me off, Jack.”

He furrows his eyebrows.

“What are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about Gina Howard,” Casey says, losing her grip and beginning to cry. “Yeah. I had the pleasure of meeting her this morning at the courthouse. You’ve been planning on replacing me for months, haven’t you?”

Jack sits at his desk again.

“At first I wanted Gina to sit second chair,” he says. “You were getting spread a little too thin, and I thought that Gina would be perfect for you. She specifically asked for SVU. She used to keep the books for a group lobbying for legislation to protect women from violent offenders. She wanted to work with real people. Real victims. I wasn’t going to replace you then, but now…”

Casey frowns and she sniffles. “Thanks for throwing me under the bus, Jack. You replace me even before I go see the disciplinary board? That is a low blow and you know it.”

“What I know is that you brought this upon yourself,” he says firmly. “And you deserve every consequence that comes your way. You made a choice to compromise yourself and the only person you have to blame for that is you.”

She feels nauseous again, and she is slowly losing her resolve. Her indignant attitude is giving way to a more panicky one when she really faces what is going to happen.

“What do I do now?” She asks quietly.

“The best thing that you can do now is resign your position as ADA,” he says. “The reasons don’t have to be specific, but resigning is the best way to keep this quiet and out of the press. Things will be easier for this office and for you.”

She nods and wipes her tears and begins to head out.

“Casey,” he calls, and she turns to him again. “Things will go a lot more smoothly with the disciplinary board if you just show a little remorse for what you did.”

She shakes her head. “I’m not sorry. I’m not.”

With that, she walks out.

She quickly exits the building and gets to the parking garage, feeling cold and more alone than ever.

Casey wipes her tears then she crosses her arms over her chest, thinking of who she can turn to now. She needs some kind of way to gather information on who is investigating the murder so that she can at least have a look for herself to see if what she saw, to see if what Chester told the police and her had been true.

She knows that it will be a crap shoot if she goes by herself to the 3-2 where Chester had first been taken after his arrest. She can’t even use her badge because it is not her case. All she needs is to look at the crime scene photos because something about that night, that scene, is not right, and it is going to bother her until she looks at the files herself.

She makes it to her car and she gets in, sighing and resting her head back against the head rest. She puts her hands on her abdomen and rubs over it. She is exhausted, but she can’t rest because she needs to find the truth about what happened last night and begin to deal with the outcome. She needs to talk to someone, to get some advice on what to do. Right now, she feels like she can’t trust anyone. She knows that she can’t go to any of her coworkers with this because emotions and tensions are so high, and she doesn’t want to add to that with her own issues, and because she is not ready for all of the questions that will come when she tells of her relationship with Chester.

Like Olivia not telling Elliot about Kurt Moss…or Dean Porter for that matter, Casey didn’t tell because she simply didn’t want to jinx it, and Chester wasn’t even in the unit at the time when they first began dating, but when he did join the unit, he didn’t tell anyone about it because not only was he the “new guy” he also didn’t know who to trust with that kind of personal information, which had been perfectly understandable.

Casey smiles a bit.

She knows that the baby will be a good thing for them. She knows that having a baby together will only bring them closer and strengthen their relationship. She wants them to experience and enjoy her pregnancy together, and watch their baby grow and be born together.

That is the reason why she so strongly believes that Chester didn’t commit murder. They are about to make a life together, and she believes that he wouldn’t just throw it all away just to kill a man who surely would have gotten his just desserts one way or another. And since she believes that, it also leads her to believe that he is covering for someone. He has to be, and all she needs is just to have a glance at the photos from the crime scene so that she could perhaps force his hand in telling her the truth.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

Fin walks into work with a couple of boxes. Munch gets up and begins to help his soon-to-be former partner pack up his desk. Elliot doesn’t know what to say now since they are not talking. He has tried to apologize to Fin once before, but it wasn’t well received, not that he expected it to be in the first place.

He wants Fin to realize that him pulling his phone records wasn’t personal. He was actually trying to protect him. If he were to find something off, then at least he would be the first to know and not anyone else. He is not sorry about the way he went about it because he had expected that if he asked Fin, he would have gotten angry, so he was screwed with Fin’s reaction either way.

There is tension in the squad room, and if Fin chooses to go through with his transfer, Elliot doesn’t want him to leave on a such a bad note.

Elliot gets up and approaches Fin.

“I got nothing’ else to say to you Stabler,” Fin says coldly as he opens up the drawers to his desk.

“Fin, c’mon,” Elliot says. “Look, I didn’t mean to offend you. That wasn’t my intent and it wasn’t personal, you have to believe that. I’m sorry I didn’t just ask you straight up.”

“That was all you had to do, Elliot,” Fin huffs. “But instead you went behind my back. No…the fact that you even thought I would tip Lake off is pissing me off. I was trying to help him, yeah, but you knew I wouldn’t help him run.”

“I know,” Elliot says. “I just had to be sure.”

“That’s the problem,” Fin says, stepping closer to Elliot. “Eight years I’ve been working this unit and you weren’t sure about whether I’d help one of our own run? You weren’t sure about me? Tell me how you really feel, Stabler.”

Elliot sighs. At any other point in time, he would have been frustrated, angry, and would have just given up on the matter and let it fester, but he no longer seeks refuge in his pent up rage. Becoming a father again, reuniting with his wife and family, and working on being the person he used to be has caused him to try and sustain the friendships and relationships he has taken for granted for some years now.

“Fin, you know that I have nothing against you,” Elliot says. “And all I can do is ask you to forgive me. Whether you do forgive me or not, that’s on you. I just don’t want you to leave, that is, if you are leaving, like this.”

Fin just shakes his head and continues to pack up his things.

Olivia walks in and she notices the tense scene and the solemn look on Elliot’s face. His eyes communicate that things are still on shaky ground with Fin, and she sighs and mouths, ‘He’ll come around.’ He nods and sits down at his desk.

Olivia takes off her coat and drapes it over the back of her chair.

“Fin, why don’t you at least take a couple more days to think about this?” She asks.

“It’s okay Liv,” Fin says. “I’m cool. It’s time for a change anyway, been doin’ this for too long.”

“Are you going to come back?” She asks.

“I don’t know Liv,” Fin says as he packs up his desk. “All I know is I can’t stay here.”

Olivia sighs. She hates that there is a feud brewing between Elliot and Fin. She knew that Elliot was just trying to do his job and avoid any more trouble that might have come their way. Elliot is not the sort of man to do things to a friend out of spite, he felt like he was protecting Fin by him being the first one to see Fin’s phone records. Even though he’d only wanted to give Fin a heads up, Olivia still thinks that he should have just asked Fin to his face if he helped Lake run. She told him to make things right, and Elliot swallowed his pride and tried to patch things up.

Now the ball is in Fin’s court, and it doesn’t seem like Fin will be in a forgiving mood for a while to come.

Cragen comes out of his office to bid Fin farewell and let him know the status of his transfer.

Fin finishes packing up the last of his things from his desk then he walks over to Cragen.

“I sent out the paperwork,” Cragen explains. “I should be getting a response from the higher ups in a few days, and when I do, I’ll give you a call, let you know of your options. Until then, you are free to use the vacation time you’ve accumulated.”

Cragen extends his hand and Fin takes it and they give a firm shake.

“You’ve put in some good work here, detective,” Cragen says. “If you ever do decide to come back, there’ll be a place for you.”

“Thanks Captain,” Fin says appreciatively.

“Are you absolutely sure this is what you want to do?” Cragen asks.

“Yeah,” Fin says.

“Good luck to you,” Cragen says, putting his hands in his pockets.

Fin nods then he goes over to his desk and picks up the box.

“See you around guys,” Fin says.

“I’ll walk with you,” Munch says, then he and Fin walk out of the unit.

Cragen goes back into his office and closes the door.

Elliot rubs his hand over his face.

“I’m such a goddamn bastard,” he huffs as he sits down at his desk.

Olivia shakes her head.

“That’s not true,” she says. “Fin knows that you didn’t mean to go behind his back. You did the right thing by admitting that you were wrong, now you just have to move on, El. You have to understand that Fin is angry at himself too because of Lake.”

“Speaking of Lake,” Elliot says discreetly.

“What?” Olivia asks.

“You know how it came up that once a month Chester’s been taking off for Philly for some kind of cold case meeting?” Elliot asks.

“Yeah, so what?” She asks.

“Well these meetings are sponsored through the cold case and missing persons units in Philadelphia,” he explains. “It was started about fifteen years ago by three retried detectives. They have a website, and out of curiosity, I looked it up.”

“What’d you find?” Olivia asks.

“They post their guest book online…” He begins, gesturing for Olivia to come have a look when he pulls it up from his history bar. “I found something interesting.”

She comes over and looks at the online guest page.

“Okay, I see Lake’s name up there,” she says, peering at the screen. “God, I need glasses.”

He chuckles. “You’re getting old Benson.

“Well, if it isn‘t the pot calling the kettle black,” she smirks

“Anyone else’s name look familiar?” He asks.

Olivia scans over the list and then her mouth goes agape.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

Gina is in her office doing some paperwork, trying to ignore the growling in her stomach for some lunch. She needs to get some of her left over paperwork from the committee she serves on. She is officially leaving the three year old Protection Legislation Committee, a committee convened in the name of Victoria Mallard.

Victoria Mallard was violently abused by her husband, and in 1999, that after spending a little over three years in prison, Harold Roster was released, and Victoria filed six restraining orders against him in three different precincts. None of them were enforced and Harold stalked and then brutally raped and murdered Victoria Mallard.

Victoria had been a close friend of Janine Taylor, also a former victim of domestic abuse. Janine worked for four years to gather up the funds to start up the committee and make some head way in the city government and the state government. Gina came on board as a legal consultant. She kept the books officially as her job and on the side, she offered legal advice to the committee concerning the proposal of laws to the city council and to the state legislature.

It is a good cause, and Gina is sad to leave, but she wants to practice law full time now. She wants to work with real victims now, and she wants to put the offenders away for good. Jack had warned her about what she was getting into, but she wants to do it.

At thirty four years old, she likes to think of herself as accomplished. Her first degree had been in accounting, and she’d already been married to her husband Brian Howard. They married young, they’d only been eighteen, but their parents had always been close friends and it’d been implied from the time they were six years old that naturally they’d get married.

Both she and Brian came from old money, and so it was a perfect fit to have the Van Haus and the Howard families to unite as one.

Of course, Gina hates to think that their marriage had been arranged because she loves Brian, but she can say that she and Brian were under a lot of pressure to make a commitment. They’ve had a good marriage, with ups and downs, and usually, they’ve gotten through those times, but for the past three years, it’s been mostly downs, especially with the news that they cannot conceive. For two years, they tried to make a baby, but she couldn’t get pregnant.

They decided to go to a fertility doctor and she was devastated to find out that she had a rare condition called spontaneous ovarian failure. She wasn’t producing eggs like she should have been, and none were being released properly and it made getting pregnant difficult. They tried in-vitro fertilization three times, the first two times, she didn’t get pregnant, and the third time, she had a miscarriage just a week before heading into her fourth month. After that, she didn’t want to try anymore.

Since then, their marriage hasn’t been the same, and she’s thrown herself into work to get her mind off of things at home.

Brian is vice president of a private banking company, and he is old fashioned. He prefers that Gina didn’t work because he makes enough to support the both of them and give her a comfortable home. Even though he prefers it, he never discouraged her from working. He’d been especially proud when Gina joined the committee.

When she broke the news to him that she wanted to practice law full time, he didn’t take it well.

She is reluctant to tell Brian about her new position as ADA for SVU.

She honestly thinks that it is a shame that she can’t work with Casey Novak because she has heard great things about Casey, but she is glad that she will get to be the one to sit first chair. Not to say that the circumstances are ideal. It never looks good when an ADA compromises a case and the reputation of the entire District Attorney’s office. Gina can only hope that she will be well received. She knows that she has some big shoes to fill.

So far, next to Alex Cabot, Casey Novak had been the most aggressive ADA and Casey also holds the highest closure rate than any other ADA in the borough.

Sure, Gina had been arrogant toward Casey in the courthouse, and she now regrets it because she now finds Casey’s stats intimidating.

She had taken advantage of the obvious nervous state that Casey had been in.

Gina hears a knock at the door and she looks up and it is Yolanda Klasky, one of her coworkers.

“Hey,” Gina says. “What’s up?”

“I wasn’t supposed to tell you,” Yolanda says quietly. “But Janine is planning a surprise goodbye party for you tonight. I know how much you hate surprises, that’s why I’m telling you now.”

“Where’s it going to be at?” Gina asks.

“Jack’s and Company,” Yolanda says, coming into Gina’s office and sitting down. “Seven o’clock. Act surprised.”

Gina laughs. “I’ll try, but Janine will know somebody told me.”

Yolanda shrugs then she pouts. “I’m going to miss you. You’ve done such a wonderful job here…why do you want SVU anyway? I heard it was pretty rough…”

Gina sighs. “I don’t know…maybe I’m crazy for wanting it, but…I think it’s where I’m supposed to be. I mean, I love it here, but I faced facts a few months in…”

“What are the facts?”

“It’s all fine and well to talk about what laws should be there for victims, but we’re not getting any results,” Gina explains discreetly. “We’re losing money, Yolanda. It’s great what Janine is trying to do, but we can’t change the way people think. People still think that domestic violence, wife beaters, child abusers are all things that are between families, behind closed doors. Your husband hits you, it’s no one else’s business but yours…I don’t know if it’s fear of tearing families apart or indifference, but…it’s a social problem and unless victims step up on their own behalf, there‘s not much we can do.”

“Yeah, but I mean…” Yolanda says. “It’s different…it’s not just domestic violence, Gina. You’re going to be dealing with some sick bastards, and you’ll be dealing with molested kids. It’s a wonder anyone can do that job.”

“I can do it,” Gina says confidently.

“Well good luck to you,” Yolanda says as she gets up. “Tonight I want to see you in something sexy, and we’re going to watch all our other coworkers get drunk and take blackmail pictures.”

Gina laughs.

“You should bring Brian,” Yolanda says. “You two haven’t been out in God knows how long.”

“I know,” Gina sighs. “We’ve both been so busy…”

“Is everything alright between you two?” Yolanda asks. “I mean, really?”

Gina shrugs. “We have our moments, but everything’s fine. Of course, it’s definitely time for a vacation…I haven’t told him about me being ADA for SVU.”

“You need to tell him,” Yolanda says.

“He’s already against me becoming a prosecutor full time,” Gina sighs. “I’ve just been trying to find a way to break it to him gently.”

“Just tell him how much you want it,” Yolanda advises. “He knows that you have your reasons. He should respect that.”

Gina nods. “Thanks Yolanda.”

“Alright,” Yolanda says, walking to the door. “I’ll see you and hopefully Brian tonight?”

“Definitely,” Gina smiles.

Yolanda walks out and then Gina sighs. She takes out her cell phone and she dials Brian’s number.

“Pfiezer Banking and Trust, this is Brian Howard.”

“Hey,” Gina says with a smile.

“Oh, hey honey,” Brian says. “What are you doing right now?”

“I’m climbing this mountain of paperwork,” Gina says. “Trying to skip lunch, but my stomach is growling. I was thinking that maybe we can go to lunch…just talk?”

“I would like nothing more than to have lunch with you,” he sighs. “But I can‘t do it today. I‘ve got several clients to meet with today so…”

Gina nods, disappointed. “Well, Janine is throwing me a surprise goodbye party tonight…”

“If it’s a surprise, how do you know about it?” He asks with a chuckle.

“Yolanda just told me,” Gina grins. “It’s going to be at Jack’s and Company. Can you make it tonight? I’d really like it if you were there.”

“Uh…I don’t know honey,” Brian says. “Work has been so crazy…”

Gina sighs. “Brian, I miss you. We need to talk, seriously. About us. The only time we really see each other is at home when we’re getting ready to go to bed. Please come tonight. Please?”

“I’ll try,” he says. “I hope that I do make it because I want to be there for you.”

“Okay,” Gina smiles. “I love you.”

“I love you too Gina,” he says softly. “Go eat, because I know you won’t. I’ll see you later, alright?”

“Alright,” she says. “Bye.”

“Bye honey,” he says before he hangs up.

Gina flips her phone closed and then she sighs, the disappointment overwhelming.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

Casey steps off of the elevator and onto the floor where the office of Clark and Associates is located. She sighs and walks over to the receptionist who is a twenty something young woman with straight, auburn hair, and stylish reading glasses. She has a headpiece on and she presses it, ending a phone call. She looks up at Casey and smiles.

“Good afternoon, how may I help you?”

“Hi, is Mary Clark available?” Casey asks.

“Uh, she just got back from lunch,” the receptionist says. “What’s your name?”

“Casey Novak.”

“Do you have an appointment, ma’am?”

“Uh, no,” Casey says. “I’m a friend of hers.”

“What is the nature of your visit?”

“Um, it’s for a personal matter,” Casey says.

“Is it urgent?” The receptionist asks.

“Yes it is,” Casey says.

“Please wait one moment.”

Casey nods and then she sighs, feeling a bit queasy. She spots a small bowl of peppermints on the coffee table in the small waiting area and she goes over and picks one up. She unwraps it and pops it into her mouth. For a moment, she feels better, but then the mint makes her queasiness worse and she discreetly spits it back into the wrapper, grimacing.

“Alright, I’ll send her in,” the receptionist says. “Ms. Clark will see you now. Her office is at the end of the hall, straight ahead.”

“Thank you,” Casey says, then she makes her way to Mary’s office.

Mary sees Casey approaching and she gets up from her desk and opens the door and gently ushers Casey in when she gets close enough.

“Please come in,” Mary says, concern in her tone. “I was going to call you. I’ve been watching the news…what a terrible scandal.”

“Yeah,” Casey sighs.

The smell of Italian food is in the air, and Casey feels the color draining from her face.

“Please, sit down Casey,” Mary says as she goes back to sit at her desk. “Please forgive me. You don’t mind if I finish my pasta, do you?”

Casey swallows thickly and shakes her head. “No, not at all.”

“Well, bad news travels fast, Casey,” Mary sighs. “I heard about what you did. Trying to suppress evidence and withholding it from the defense? I mean, I know that you’re tenacious, but you’re not a sore loser, Cassandra.”

Casey grins a bit.

“This is funny to you?” Mary asks.

“No,” Casey says quickly. “No…it’s just that you haven’t called me Cassandra in years.”

Mary only calls Casey Cassandra when she is upset at her or trying to teach her a lesson, and that had been during Casey’s clerking days.

“Yes, well you haven’t given me cause in a long while until now,” Mary says. “Judge Petrovsky called me late last night with the news of what happened. She told me that Judge Donnelly reported you to the disciplinary board. What are you going to do?”

The smell of Mary’s unfinished lunch is getting to Casey and she exhales and stands up, beginning to pace a bit, to try and get her mind off of the smell and her rebelling stomach.

“I-I don’t know yet,” she sighs. “I have to wait and see what the board decides before I make a move career wise. McCoy wants me to resign my position as ADA to make his life and everyone else’s easier.”

“I think that’s wise,” Mary reasons. “There’s no way you’ll be able to try another case without this coming up. And what of SVU? One of its own detectives in jail for committing murder? This is a mess.”

“I need your help, Mary,” Casey says, pacing back and forth.

“Oh no,” Mary says. “Don’t drag me into this. You know that I respect you both personally and professionally, but you were wrong, Casey, and you should take responsibility. I say that only because I believe in you. You’re brilliant, Casey, and I can only pray that you’ll only come out of this with a censure. At least you still have the benefit of your license because you still have so much to give.”

Mary tilts her head to the side.

She remembers when Casey began clerking for her.

Casey had been a scraggily little thing then; too pale, too thin, long, rather limp, bodiless red hair, a dazzling smile and a terrible wardrobe unbecoming for Mary’s office. An implant from the sticks in Colorado, Cassandra Rae-Lynn Novak had come into Mary’s office, wanting to learn every nook and cranny of the system. At first, Mary didn’t like Casey because she was fresh out of law school, still a bit immature and a bit tomboyish.

After a while, as Casey prepared to officially practice as a lawyer, she grew on her, and she soaked up everything she learned from Mary and others like a sponge.

Mary hates that Casey has possibly ended her short career with a mistake as big as this one. She knows that sometimes, Casey puts a little too much stock in certain cases and this isn’t the first time that she’s put her career on the chopping block, but this is the first time she’s ever faced such a serious consequence for it.

Casey stops and looks at Mary.

“I-I’m not talking about the disciplinary board,” she explains. “I can handle that myself. I meant…”

“What?” Mary asks.

“You know the detective that confessed to the murder,” Casey begins tentatively. “Detective Chester Lake?”

“Yes, from the news.”

“I need to ask you a huge favor…” Casey pauses for a moment then she continues. “Can you be his lawyer?”

“What!?” Mary asks, standing up and coming over to Casey.

“Please Mary,” Casey pleads tearfully.

“Why are you trying to obtain a lawyer for Detective Lake?” Mary asks.

“Because he confessed, but I don’t think he did it,” Casey explains. “Look, I need to help him. I can’t go near that investigation because it’s not my case…I need some kind of access.”

“Even then, I can’t share any information with you,” Mary says. “Nothing he says, and I can’t give you details of the investigation because it is not your case.”

“Please help me,” Casey begs, beginning to cry. “I need your help.”

Casey sits down and buries her face in her hands. She is a mess, and she hates that her resolve is crumbling easier these days. She had never intended on going to Mary and begging her, but she has let her emotions run her, and Mary is the only person that she feels that she can trust at the moment.

Mary puts her hand on Casey’s shoulder and then she pulls the other chair over to sit close to Casey.

“Why are you so invested in this, Casey?” Mary asks, picking up the box of tissue from her desk.

Casey sniffles and she looks up. She takes a couple of tissues when Mary gives her the box and she wipes her tears.

“All I can tell you is that Detective Chester Lake is a good man,” Casey says. “And I know that he’s innocent. I have to make this right.”

Mary sighs. “I wish that I could be his lawyer, but I have a full schedule here, Casey.”

“You’re won’t be his lawyer for long,” Casey explains. “There is something that Chester is not telling me about last night…he’s so stubborn he doesn’t want a lawyer and-”

“If Detective Lake doesn’t want a lawyer then that’s his choice, Casey,” Mary gently interrupts. “And what’s to say that he’s even going to listen to one?”

“Look, whether he listens to a lawyer or not, all I need is access to the murder case,” Casey says. “Crime scene photos, evidence…if I see what happened for myself, and try and piece it together, then I can force his hand a little to tell me the truth. I believe in my heart that Chester didn’t do this. I know he’s covering for someone.”

“I can’t actually show you state’s evidence, Casey,” Mary says. “How many times do I have to say it? This is not your case. I’m not going to risk my career and my reputation just so that you can assuage your guilt.”

Casey bites her lower lip, trying to keep from crying again, but she does anyway, despite her efforts.

“It’s becoming abundantly clear to me that you’re not thinking rationally,” Mary says softly. “You’re under a lot of stress. You lost a big case, your career is in dire straights, so I sympathize with you. But you need to calm down, first and foremost. If you really believe that Detective Lake is innocent, then you’ll find a way to prove it.”

“What should I do if I can’t?” Casey asks.

Mary takes Casey’s hands in hers. “Consider the possibility that he just might be guilty.”

Casey wipes her tears.

“Okay,” she says as she stands up. “You’re right, Mary. Thank you for seeing me on such short notice.”

“It’s no problem,” Mary says. “Call me anytime, alright?”

Casey nods.

“Go home and get some rest,” Mary says, concern etched on her face.

“I will,” Casey says then she heads out.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

Mila and Ham stroll along the grounds of Hudson University to look for Gregory Crane. They got word from one of his dorm mates that his favorite studying spot would be along the grounds.

“I wish I’d chosen Hudson,” Mila sighs as she looks around.

“Where’d you go to college?” Ham asks.

“Michigan State,” Mila explains. “I followed my best friend there, but by the end of the first semester, we grew apart. I was the supposed lesbian jock and she was the frilly sorority girl.”

“At least you got to experience the ‘college life,’” he laments. “I went to community college.”

“Community colleges aren’t that bad,” Mila shrugs. “At least your parents aren’t up to their eyeballs in debt like mine are. Student loans are a bitch.”

“I paid my own way,” he says. “By then, Lilly and I were already married and she was working two jobs and going to night school. Money was tight then.”

Mila shrugs. “The coed experience is so overrated.”

Ham spots a young man matching Gregory Crane’s picture.

“There he is,” he says, pointing out the nineteen year old to Mila. “Head buried in a book just like they said.”

The approach Gregory.

“Gregory Crane?” Mila inquires, and he looks up.

“Yeah?”

“I’m Mila Fischer, this is my partner Robert Hamilton,” Mila introduces. “We’re from the Internal Affairs Bureau.”

Gregory closes his book, and then he takes off his glasses.

“You here about my dad?” He asks.

“Yeah,” Ham says as he sits down on the bench next to Gregory. He notices his textbook. “Ah, you’re studying forensics…pretty good field.”

“Yeah, um,” Gregory says solemnly. “My dad wanted me to be a cop like him but…I’m a geek. I prefer the science of it all.”

“We’re very sorry for your loss,” Mila says.

Gregory nods. “I heard he was shot by another cop…”

“Well, we have some other evidence that leads us to believe that there might have been a third person there,” Mila explains. “There were footprints made by a woman’s shoe…size six Jimmy Choos.”

Gregory shrugs and shakes his head. “And that means what to me?”

“Well, your dad’s commanding officer told us that you and your dad were close,” Mila says. “And since you two were close, we wanted to ask you if your dad might have been seeing someone. Did he have a girlfriend?”

Gregory sighs. “No. After he and mom split, he never dated. I don’t think he ever just hooked up with anyone.”

“Did he have any close female friends?” Ham asks.

Gregory shakes his head. “Not that I’m aware of.”

Ham sighs. “We know about your gambling addiction…”

“Yeah, and I’m going to gambler’s anonymous,” Gregory huffs. “I’m working two shifts to try and pay off the debt. My dad used everything he had to pay off my first debt…I wish he hadn’t because I know I was a fool and I was willing to take whatever punishment the bookies would dish out.”

“What bookies are you dealing with?” Mila asks.

“Armenians,” Gregory sighs. “They’re not as brutal or strict as the Russians or the Italians…I’m lucky because I’m not what they call ‘in blood’ yet.”

“What does that mean?” Ham asks.

“It means that if you cross an Armenian, they have a system,” Gregory says. “It’s like their own personal code of justice. If you’re caught cheating, stealing, if you’re not making an effort to try and pay back the money or you hurt a woman or a child, you’re in blood.”

“Has your dad ever come in contact with the Armenians the first time he paid off your debt?” Mila asks.

“Yeah,” Gregory says. “But it was only to pay off the money. He didn’t hurt anybody. Please, don’t go looking into the Armenians. They find out I told you about them, I’m dead.”

“We’re not going to talk to the Armenians,” Ham says. “We’re not interested in them.”

“Do you know if your dad might have maybe…hired a hooker?” Mila asks.

“He was a cop,” Gregory says angrily.

“Cops have vices too, Greg,” Ham says.

Gregory looks at his watch. “I gotta get to class.”

With that, he gathers up his books and his bag and heads off.

Ham stands up.

“Okay, I’m guessing this mystery woman angle is a dead end,” he sighs. “The next best thing is to talk to Detective Lake about what happened.”

“Not yet,” Mila says. “We can talk to Lake later…I don’t believe for a second that Crane didn’t have at least one female friend…”

“Look, maybe a pro tried to court him and he turned her down before Lake showed up,” Ham shrugs. “The place is a popular spot on the hooker stroll, like you said before.”

“Nah,” Mila says. “There’s something very odd about this whole thing, I just can’t put my finger on it.”

“So what?” Ham says. “You think Lake might be innocent?”

“I don’t know,” Mila sighs. “There’s just something not right. I mean…Lake was a little too eager to confess, but the scene was a mess. Lake is a cop. In some situations, cops shoot to kill instantly.”

“Yeah, so?” Ham shrugs.

“Say I was Lake,” Mila says. “I’m fucking pissed that Crane got off for rape and murder…I would shoot him straight in the eyes, I’d want the bastard to be looking straight at me when I killed him. Crane was shot in the temple. Why shoot him in the temple?”

Ham shrugs. “Your guess is as good as mine, Mila.”

Mila puts her hands on her hips.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

After leaving Mary’s office, Casey had gone to a diner and had some tea and some chicken noodle soup for lunch, then she decided that perhaps it is time for her to see a doctor.

Casey walks into the OB/GYN clinic at St. Catherine’s Hospital. She knows that she is a walk in, and that it is just past lunch time, but she hopes that there will be a doctor available for her to see. If she cannot see a doctor at the moment, then she will have to make an appointment.

She wants to make sure that everything is okay with her and with the baby. Pregnancy is new to her, and she has a lot of questions that she needs answered, and more importantly, she wants to see and hear her baby for the first time. This is an activity that will take her mind off of the present circumstances.

She walks up to nurse’s station.

“How may I help you?” The nurse by the name of Rita says.

“I’m a walk in,” Casey begins. “Are there any available doctors that might be willing to see me this afternoon?”

Rita sits down and logs onto the computer.

“What is your name?”

“Casey Novak.”

“Are you wanting a follow-up, or is this your first visit?” Rita asks.

“This is my first visit,” Casey says.

“What is the nature of your visit?”

“I um…I just found out that I’m pregnant,” Casey explains. “And I would like to just make sure that everything’s fine and to ask some questions.”

Rita types away on the computer.

Casey waits until Rita addresses her again.

“This is your lucky day, Ms. Novak,” Rita says, looking a bit more chipper. “Dr. Maitland had a cancellation for his three-thirty…I should be able to squeeze you in. Sound good?”

Casey smiles. “Yeah, thank you.”

“Alright,” Rita smiles. “I’ll go ahead and put you in the system, and I’ll give Dr. Maitland a call. Have a seat, and we’ll get your vitals in about ten minutes.”

Casey goes and sits down in the reception area, relieved that she will be able to be seen today.

Once Casey’s vitals are taken, she is lead down a long hallway to Dr. Maitland’s office.

“Dr. Maitland should be with you shortly,” the nurse says.

Casey gets up onto the exam table and she sighs. She hates hospitals.

She can’t stand the smell, the look, or the way hospitals make her feel. She knows that hospitals are necessary, but she hates being in the hospital for anything. Right now, she will have to deal.

The door opens, and a tall, youngish looking man walks into he office.

“Good afternoon,” he says with a warm smile. “Casey Novak?”

“Yes,” Casey says.

“Hi, I’m Dr. George Maitland.”

He extends his hand and Casey shakes it.

“Thank you for seeing me,” Casey says gratefully.

George sits down.

“So, you said that you would like a general prenatal check up and that you had some questions?”

“Yeah,” Casey says. “This is my first pregnancy, and I really don’t know what to expect…”

“Well you’ve come to the right place,” George says. “When did you find out that you were expecting?”

“Last night,” Casey explains.

“How?”

“I took a pregnancy test,” Casey says. “It came out positive.”

“About how far along would you say you are?”

“Um, seven or eight weeks,” Casey guesses.

“When was your last period?”

“Um, March, I think.”

“Are you currently on any kind of birth control?”

“Yes, Yasmin,” Casey says. “But now that I’m pregnant, I guess I should stop.”

“Are you on any other medications?”

“No,” Casey says.

George makes a few notes then he looks up at her.

“So, tell me how you’re feeling.”

“I’ve been nauseous,” Casey begins. “My moods have been really crazy, I’m really stressed.”

“Ah, you’ve got to watch the stress,” he advises. “The first trimester is a critical time for the baby. What other symptoms are you having?”

“Beside throwing up,” she sighs. “I’ve been craving mangoes and bananas, I’m tired, and um…”

“What?”

She bites her lower lip. “My boobs are really sore and swollen.”

“Sounds like a normal pregnancy so far,” he chuckles.

“Yeah,” Casey grins slightly.

“I’m going to ask you some personal questions,” he says. “Is that alright with you?”

She nods.

“Okay,” he says “Just answer as honestly as you can. Are you sexually active?”

“Yes,” Casey chuckles. “I’m pregnant, of course I am.”

“Just routine,” he laughs. “When was the last time you had sexual intercourse?”

“Um…maybe in the middle of last month,” she guesses.

“Are you in a stable relationship?”

Casey feels her heart clench.

“I-I don’t know,” she says quietly. “I mean, yeah I am…I have been for over a year. At least I thought it was stable, but um…I can’t talk about it.”

“Alright,” he says. “Is your partner aware of your pregnancy?”

“No,” Casey says.

“Do you plan on sharing this with your partner?”

“Yes,” Casey says.

“Do you smoke?”

“No,” she says. “I quit ten years ago.”

“Any alcohol or drugs?”

“No.”

He writes down a few more things then he sets his pen down onto his desk.

“Okay Casey,” he says. “I’m going to go ahead and exam you now.”

He opens up a drawer and takes out a gown.

“The changing rooms are down the hall to your left,” he says. “I’m going to need you to change into this, and we’ll get started.”

Casey goes down the hall and she quickly changes. She puts her clothes into the basket sitting on the bench and then she exit’s the changing room and give the basket to the nurse at the front desk, as directed.

She goes back into Dr. Maitland’s office.

She gets onto the exam table.

“Okay, can you lie down for me?” George asks.

Casey lays down and she sighs.

“Just relax,” he says softly. “I’m just going to take a feel at your belly, okay?”

She nods.

His fingers gently dig into the flesh of her abdomen and then a little lower.

“No bump there yet,” he chuckles. “Are you feeling any pain?”

“No,” Casey says.

He finishes feeling her belly, then he goes over to the sink and washes his hands.

“Okay, we’re going to take a look at your baby,” he says.

He dries off his hands and then he puts on a pair of gloves.

He rolls the sonogram machine over to his seat and then he sits down.

“I’m going to need you to bend your knees,” he says.

Casey bends her knees and spreads her legs.

He puts a paper cloth over her legs.

“Casey, I’m going to need you to remove your panties,” he says.

“Oh,” Casey says.

“I’ll turn around,” he says.

Casey takes off her panties and then she holds on to them.

“Okay,” she says.

He turns back round then he sits down again.

“This is an optical device that will help me see your baby,” he explains as he holds up a tube looking device. “I’m going to squeeze some gel onto the end. Just relax, okay?”

Casey nods.

He turns the screen on and then Casey relaxes.

After a few moments, she can see her baby on the screen, and she is fascinated, tears forming in her eyes.

“There’s your baby,” he says.

She reaches her hand out to touch the screen.

“Oh my God,” she sniffles. “That’s my baby…”

“Would you like to hear the heartbeat?”

“Yeah,” Casey smiles, wiping her tears.

He turns on the sound, and Casey hears a fast staccato.

“That’s the baby’s heartbeat?”

“Yes.”

“Why is it so fast?”

“That’s normal,” he explains. “I assure you that the baby has a very healthy heartbeat.”

“Is the baby supposed to look like that?” She asks, the baby looking a bit odd to her.

“At this stage, yes,” he says as he presses a few buttons then he gets a few other things to pop up onto the screen.

“From the size and shape of the fetus, I’d say you’re eight weeks along. You were right.”

“Wow,” she says happily, tearfully.

“Would you like the sonogram pictures?”

“Yes,” Casey says.

After her exam, Casey redresses then she goes back into Dr. Maitland’s office.

“Here are the sonogram pictures,” he says.

“Thank you,” she says, hugging the envelope to herself. “Thank you so much.”

“No problem,” he says. “Do you have any questions or concerns?”

“I was on the pill and I got pregnant,” she begins. “How does that happen?”

“There are many factors,” he says. “Stress is definitely a contributing factor…stress can lower your immune system, and can compromise your normal hormone levels. Um, having a cold can compromise the effectiveness of birth control pills. And sometimes, it depends on the brand of the pills and your body chemistry.”

Casey nods. “It was probably the stress…how much weight should I gain?”

“The healthy range for weight gain in pregnant women should be from about fifteen to twenty five pounds.”

“What happens if I get too fat?”

“Nothing, really,” he chuckles. “You’ll just have to work that much harder to lose the baby weight post-birth. Most baby weight is caused by water retention, not because you’re eating too much.”

Casey nods.

“Just because you’re pregnant, it doesn’t mean eat everything in sight,” he advises. “Yes, your appetite will increase, but you shouldn’t deviate from eating normal portions. Eating small snacks in between meals helps with hunger.”

“What about exercise?” She asks.

“Do what you normally do,” he says with a gentle laugh. “Your routine doesn’t have to stop just because you’re pregnant. If exercise regularly, then exercise. Just modify the workouts and the duration as you advance in your pregnancy.”

Casey nods. “Coffee?”

“One cup a week shouldn’t hurt, alcohol, I’d say one glass, once a month.”

“Sushi?”

“Perfectly safe.”

“Tea?”

“Also safe. I’d prefer that you drink tea over the coffee.”

“Am I being paranoid?” She asks.

“No,” George chuckles. “This is your first pregnancy. You’ll have plenty more questions in the coming months. I’ll be happy to answer them that way you’re more informed about the changes in your body. A lot of first time mothers are nervous and full of questions about their pregnancy. You’re not the first.”

She nods. “Thank you Dr. Maitland.”

“I’d like to see you six weeks from now,” he says. “You can make an appointment at the front desk. Until then…”

They shake hands again. “It was nice meeting you, Casey.”

“Likewise,” she says, smiling.

Casey walks out.

She makes an appointment, then she heads out.

On the elevator, she takes the pictures out of the envelope and looks at them.

She smiles when she sees the baby. She can’t believe that there is a little person growing inside her. It is completely amazing and she runs her fingers over the image. It looks a bit like a bean.

That’s cute, she thinks to herself. Bean.

“Hey Bean,” she says.

She puts the pictures back into the envelope then she walks off of the elevator when it stops at the first floor.

She decides that she will rest for a few days, bask in her happiness, and once she has a clearer head, she will once again try and find a way to find out the truth behind Crane’s murder. At the moment though, she is too happy to let that dampen her mood.

Casey puts a hand on her abdomen and she sighs. She is completely happy about her baby, but she realizes that at the moment, she is very much alone in that.