Title: Taking It Back

Summary: They say there's a right time for everything. Everything happens for a reason. Patience is a virtue. Blah. Blah. Blah. Well Nathan Scott says that you decide what you want and you take it. Haley James doesn't stand a chance.

Author's Note: I know I really shouldn't be starting a new story but this one chapter has been half written for months and I felt inspired to keep going with it. It was originally only going to be a short fic but it seems that depth of the plot keeps getting... deeper. Thanks to Dawn (BabbleBaby) for her encouragement with this new idea and to Ha who did a great job as my beta for this chapter.

And I promise for any of you reading Little White Lies that the next update isn't far away. It's almost finished. Unfortunately the next update for Holding on to Hope is probably a bit further away but I plan to get a start on it this weekend.

"Do you think they'll find us here?" Haley asked breathlessly as she sank onto the ground.

"Nah. Only we know about this place." Nathan assured her, looking around the hidden cove of the beach. "You did good Haleybub. They had no idea what hit 'em."

She grinned widely lapping up the praise he offered. He was the only kid here who didn't treat her like a baby. At twelve years old she was used to her older siblings looking down on her like her opinions didn't matter, so having a boy of fifteen hanging out with her and treating her with respect was something Haley cherished. He'd taken her under his wing the summer before and they'd written each other throughout the year keeping in touch so that when they'd met up again today it was like they'd never been apart.

"I bet Robbie Willis will run to his dad straight away to get us in trouble." She added anxiously, not used to getting into mischief but enjoying it so much. She did a lot of crazy things with Nathan that she would never do with anyone else. He made her brave.

"It was just a water bomb. Can't get in trouble for that… and even if Uncle Coop pretends to be angry he'll think it's funny… and I don't see Jimmy getting mad."

Haley rolled her eyes knowing that her father thought she was an angel and would never believe her capable of such troublemaking. "He won't… and it wasn't just a water bomb, Nathan – it was filled with water and orange dye!"

Nathan laughed a full bellied laugh, his face lighting up with happiness. "Well he already looks like an Oompa Loompa so it won't make much difference."

The young girl reached out and swatted him playfully trying to hide her smile. It was true though; Robbie did look kind of like he belonged in Charlie's chocolate factory… but she couldn't feel sorry for him when he was such a bully.

Seeing the girl refuse to join in his laughter, Nathan reached over and pulled her onto his lap, tickling her until she was in fits of hysterical laughter. He'd never had siblings, but if he'd had a sister as cool and fun as Haley he definitely wouldn't have minded. After a couple of minutes she finally pulled free and pinched him hard on the arm, earning a surprised yelp from the boy as she jumped to her feet to avoid retaliation.

"Damn Hales. That hurt."

"Good. Maybe you'll learn not to mess with me next time." She huffed, hands on her hips as she unsuccessfully tried to hide a smile.

"You want me to baby you instead?"

"No." she replied quickly and dropped down next to him again knowing that was the last thing she wanted. She glanced at the boy beside her and her heart fluttered. She knew it was stupid and foolish but she had a major crush on Nathan Scott and although she knew it would never lead anywhere, she couldn't stand the thought of him not being her friend.

Nathan knew how sensitive she was about being treated like a child and how much she appreciated the respect he showed her. Sure, he still teased her but itwas thesame way he teased his friends; all in good fun. Standing up he extended his hand to her. "C'mon Haleybub, let's go for a swim."

Once on her feet she watched as he pulled his polo shirt over his head, tossing it onto the sand and had to stop herself from swooning. He was really, really cute and a little too much for her poor little heart.

"Take a picture, it'll last longer." He teased, knowing she was shy and wasn't used to seeing anyone but her brothers shirtless. With a smirk he reached out and pulled back the elastic of her one piece so that it flicked back and hit her skin with a loud 'thwack'.

"I'll get you for that." She growled, embarrassed more by her shocked reaction than anything else and shimmied out of her shorts, throwing them on the sand with her t-shirt. Her hands wrapped around her middle and she realized that she felt self-conscious around him for the first time. She knew he didn't even notice her body, that she was like one of the guys to him, but couldn't help looking down and noticing how different she looked to the older girls she'dsee trying to flirt with him all the time. They had hips where she was narrow and breasts where she was flat.

"Hello… Earth to Haley." Nathan yelled out from where he stood at the water's edge, striking a body builder pose to look tough. "You want a piece of me or not?"

She sighed as her heart gave another flutter. Oh dear Lord. This was not good.

Those eyes; he'd recognize them anywhere. God, he used to lose himself in their depths, whether they sparkled with humor and mischief or pulled at his heart when filled with hurt and disappointment. How long had it been since he'd seen her? It had been twelve years now and although he hadn't always thought of her a lot in that time, her face had appeared in his thoughts the last few months and he knew now that even when she wasn't at the forefront of his mind, he'd never forgotten her. Greedily, he drank in the sight of her; her subtle beauty, the sleek torrent of blonde hair cascading down her back, wide full lips that invited a man's kiss and those eyes; yes he was still bewitched by those eyes of deep brown with amber flecks that sparkled like golden embers. She'd been beautiful years ago… now she was stunning.

He'd always been able to read her face, tell exactly what she was thinking, but not now. He couldn't even tell if she recognized him and he ignored the flicker of disappointment he felt at that realization. This girl, well woman now, had used to look upon him as her hero, her teenage crush growing more obvious each summer until the look of longing and respect changed to one of disappointment. He remembered how little time they'd spent together that last summer when all the ones before they'd been practically joined at the hip, swimming, hiking, getting into mischief or simply just talking. He remembered that most about her; the way she'd listened to him as if what he had to say really mattered. She made it okay to talk about all the problems he had at home and his father's increasingly overbearing nature. No matter what he needed to get off his chest she was there to listen… until that last summer. Her final words to him rang in his ears 'You're not the boy I thought you were, Nathan Scott.' They'd stung him then and he could feel the sting of them again now. If there was anyone in the world he'd wanted to avoid hurting or disappointing it had been her… but in trying to protect her, protect her from himself, he'd managed to hurt her anyway.

Haley's breath caught in her throat as her gaze locked with a familiar pair of startling blue eyes. Nathan Scott. What was he doing here? He hadn't come back here in twelve years. He still looked the same, yet so very different. Her eyes drank him in, assessing the differences; he was taller now, much taller and he'd filled out a lot; even beneath his sweater she could see the shape of the well defined muscles of his arms and chest… and my God that chest was broad, much broader than it'd been at nineteen. Not that he'd been anything to sniff at as a nineteen year old. She'd been head over heels for the boy - sure that they were meant to be together, although looking back she could see it was an adolescent type of love; an innocent love. Even if she hadn't been too young, just sixteen to his nineteen, she'd learned that the Nathan Scotts of this world didn't go for girls like Haley James… no, they preferred the flashy confident type like the high school cheerleaders who weren't afraid to flaunt what they had. Like her sister Taylor. As if her thoughts conjured her sister to life, Haley heard Taylor's throaty laugh and she turned to find the woman in question sitting with her husband; their baby boy on her lap dancing to the music playing from the small radio.

She smiled at her nephew and her sister who she could now call her closest friend. It was amazing how much time could change a person and Taylor was one of the most changed of all, her crazy attention seeking ways were far behind her; the beautiful blonde now a wife, mother twice over and a business owner. She was so happy for her sister but couldn't deny that the jealousy she'd always felt still remained. Back when they were younger she'd been envious of Taylor's carefree attitude, the way boys would fall at her feet and the way she seemed to get out of every sticky situation she found herself in. Now it seemed that she was jealous because her sister was living the life Haley had always wanted for herself.

Haley, the quiet reliable one who'd never done a single irresponsible thing in her life - aside from momentary lapses in judgment where a certain blue eyed boy was concerned - was in a job she didn't want, terminally single and about as far from having the husband, the family and the career she'd always wanted as she'd been from having Nathan's affections when she was just a scrap of a girl pining after him all of those years ago. Feeling a tingle run down her spine she glanced back up to find Nathan's eyes still hadn't strayed from her. It was unnerving.

"Hey there sweetheart. Got a hug for your favorite Uncle Cooper?"

Haley's face broke into a smile at the familiar voice and she quickly turned around to hug the man who'd become like family to her. For the past sixteen years he'd looked out for her, first during the summers they'd spent at this place - he being the one to help her nurse her broken heart when it had felt like his nephew had shattered it to pieces - and later encouraging her to follow her dreams instead of doing what she believed everyone else wanted her to do.

"I've always got a hug for you Coop." she said going into his arms and hugging him tightly.

"How long are you staying this year?"

"Only a couple of days, I've got to head back for work." She rolled her eyes and Coop laughed knowing that Jimmy made a point of never treating his daughter any differently to his other employees.

"Guess that means you haven't thrown out those sexy suits and now work with a guitar or piano and that beautiful voice of yours?" he whispered, not letting her family hear. There were only a handful of people who knew of her dream to be a songwriter, the rest believing she was satisfied with her job as a lawyer in her father's legal practice. Jimmy James had always hoped one of his children would follow in his footsteps and after all of her siblings had managed to disappoint him by following their own dreams, she'd decided that being a lawyer wouldn't be so bad. She did enjoy certain aspects of her work and she was damn good at it but her heart would always be filled with music and she hoped that one day she'd have the courage to follow through with her dream.

Looking at the hope in Coop's eyes she felt like she was somehow a disappointment to him and wished she was strong enough to break out of the mold her family and friends had cast her in and follow her heart.

"No, but it does include some mighty big law books which I've used on more than one occasion to get you out of trouble so don't go giving me any crap." Haley teased, still not letting Cooper live down the last incident a few months back where he'd dated a girl many years his junior who claimed to be a 26 year old model and had actually been a 17 year old high school cheerleader. That wouldn't have been a legal problem except that the girl's daddy had found out and confronted Cooper resulting in a fight and a law suit for damages to property at the bar they'd completely trashed.

"It really is questionable who's the child and who's the adult here isn't it?" he laughed ruefully.

"When am I going to stop being that cute little James girl and become a grown woman in the eyes of everyone here?" Haley asked, shaking her head. Even her parents and siblings still treated her as the baby of the family. It was frustrating.

"Well I certainly know one person who isn't looking at you like you're a little girl." Coop whispered teasingly, and Haley followed his gaze across the room to Nathan. She shivered as their eyes locked again and realized Cooper was right, he was definitely looking at her like a grown woman.

Remembering back to years earlier, she thought of how he had been the only person to treat her like she wasn't a child. When everyone else was still babying her, Nathan had treated her like an equal, letting her join him on his walks and helping him plan out his little tricks and pranks on the other holiday-makers. He'd opened up to her more and more each year, sharing his joys and his concerns and when he looked at her there was a warmth and real respect in his eyes. At least until that last summer. Even though he'd failed to respond to her last few letters that year, Haley simply mused that he'd been busy with college and basketball. It was a big change for anyone and he just needed time to adjust to it all.

She'd been so excited to see him again that summer, especially since her body had taken on a major transformation in the year they'd been apart and she'd had high hopes that he'd actually see her as more than his equal now; as a woman. When Coop's car had arrived and she'd raced over to greet them, she was sure she'd seen a dark flash of heat in his eyes as they quickly combed over her new body in the short shorts and bikini top she'd borrowed from Taylor, but just as quickly as she saw it, the look disappeared and turned into one of indifference. That had been the beginning of a miserable summer where all her hopes were dashed and she watched the boy she loved become someone she barely recognized.

"Haleybub?"

She froze, his voice running over her melodiously, causing goose bumps to rise on her skin. She didn't want to react this way to him. It wasn't fair. She'd had no time to prepare for this meeting and had no idea how to handle the nearness of him. She thought back to the humiliation she'd suffered the last time she'd seen him and resolved not to be put in that position again; raw and hurting. No, indifference was the key. Act like he was just a faded memory of her past.

Turning, she kept her expression neutral, waiting a few vital moments before she allowed the recognition to show on her face. She smiled politely as though greeting an old acquaintance and held out her hand. Cool. Impersonal. She could do this.

"Nathan. What a surprise."

She could see that he was taken aback by her reaction to him and the use of the nickname she'd always loved him using, even when she'd loathed its use by anyone else.

"It's good to see you. It's been a long time."

She wanted to swoon when he smiled at her that way, but she didn't. Instead she glanced around them quickly looking appropriately distracted and disinterested.

"Yes it has been. You're looking well."

Understatement of the year!

"You too. You've become a beautiful woman Hales." He said in a low voice that sent tingles down her spine… all the way down between her thighs. She glanced to her left to see that Coop had abandoned her and she mentally scowled. She'd deal with him later.

Never had she been so grateful to hear her sister's voice when she heard Taylor calling for her. "Well it's been nice seeing you again Nathan. I doubt I'll see you before you leave later this afternoon so… goodbye and good luck I guess."

Nathan didn't bother to correct her. This wasn't a quick visit to catch up with his uncle; he'd be staying for a while. Long enough to do what he needed to do at least. He watched her walk away, her long golden locks swaying in unison with her luscious hips. Damn she was gorgeous… and she was playing games. The thought saddened him a little, knowing that the girl he'd known didn't have time for games. She'd always been upfront and honest and he suspected that he was part of the reason for that change. Brushing away those thoughts he focused on her as she spoke with her family and noticed her taking furtive glances in his direction. Oh yes, she was playing games. She may think she'd fooled him into believing she barely remembered him but he'd seen her pupils dilate, her breathing accelerate… her nipples tighten. She knew exactly who he was now and who he'd been to her back then… and she still wanted him.

"Hi." Her smile was forced as she dropped onto the sand beside him, but she hoped he didn't notice. He didn't seem to even know she existed at the moment so it wasn't likely he would.

"Hey."

The monotone response was so different to the way he'd always greeted her before – usually with a bear hug and a big smile. She was starting to wonder if she'd done something wrong. Maybe that was why he'd stopped writing her.

"How are you?"

"Fine."

Silence.

"So how is college? It must be great living out of home now. I've been following your games and you've been getting a fair amount of time on the court. That's really good for a freshman, right?"

Hope swelled in her chest as he looked up obviously surprised, and seemingly pleased, by the fact she'd been keeping track. She smiled at him, a genuine one this time and almost instantly his expression shut down again as he looked back out at the ocean.

"Is something wrong Nathan? You know you can talk to me. You've always been able to…"

"I don't want to talk Haley. Nothing's wrong besides the fact that I can't even seem to get any peace and quiet on my fucking holiday!"

It was like he'd slapped her. No, that wasn't right… more like he'd sucker punched her. What had happened to the boy she'd cared about for so long, the same boy who'd always made her feel so special – like she mattered? The fears she'd held for months that he'd simply outgrown her and being at college had pointed out that she was an insignificant little high school girl were coming back to her with full force. He didn't want her around anymore.

Holding back her tears – she didn't want to act like the silly little schoolgirl he thought she was – she walked back up the beach breaking into a run when she knew he could no longer see her.

When she collapsed onto her bunk crying silent tears, she wondered how she'd made it back to her parent's cabin in the dark with tears streaming down her face. Thank God they were asleep and hadn't seen her looking so pathetic. She'd die of shame if they knew the truth. It was then that she realized what had probably been obvious to everyone else.. She'd been a fool to think Nathan would ever want to be more than just her friend… and it seemed he didn't even want that anymore.

Nathan stared out at the water; the gentle waves lapping at the sand seemed so calm in contrast to his turbulent emotions. Had it really been twelve years since he'd been back here, since he'd been the kind of person he could be proud of? No, it had been longer since he'd been that guy. His second last summer here, the one between high school and college was the last time he remembered liking himself. Haley had seen something in him that he hadn't seen in himself and spending time with her had made him aware of the good inside of himself. Sure he was popular, had lots of friends and plenty of girls vying for his attention, but Haley made him see the important stuff. Things had looked so bright that summer. He was going to college and rather than cruising along on his scholarship like everyone expected he planned to work hard and get a degree. Basketball was still important but she helped him see that it wasn't his whole world, no matter what his father tried to drill into him day after day.

It had all changed so quickly. He'd started to believe the hype surrounding him on campus. He'd performed well and made it into the starting line up, almost unheard of for a freshman. It wasn't long before he was treated like a God on campus. His older team mates took him under their wing and he was soon attending every party, partying hard and partaking in all the drinks and women that were on offer. His goal of studying hard seemed to slip away and soon enough it was a matter of scraping by to stay on the team rather than getting good grades and it seemed everyone turned a blind eye to it all. He was Nathan Scott. Normal rules didn't apply to him.

He'd still looked forward to getting Haley's letters every couple of weeks. It was like a little piece of innocence touching his world and at first he would revel in her words, reading and re-reading the letters, always responding enthusiastically and answering her questions – edited versions of what he'd been up to of course – but he'd always written with the aim of making her smile. Sometimes he wondered if this girl, so much younger in age yet so much wiser than him, was his only real friend.

As his lifestyle got more and more out of control his anticipation of her letters faded until he dreaded them. They were like regular reminders of how disappointed she would be in him if she knew what he'd become. His responses became shorter and shorter and he could tell from her letters that she was concerned. Usually he could settle her worries with humor and anecdotes about what his team mates got up to although leaving out his part in their mischief.

It was at his lowest point – after doing something that made him sick to his stomach - that he truly hated the person he'd become and he stopped writing altogether. God, he'd wanted to speak to her, to hear her tell him he wasn't a bad person, and he'd almost called her a couple of times needing a friend to talk to but he couldn't face her. The one person who'd always told him to believe in himself, who he felt he could trust, was the one person he'd never want to learn the truth - Nathan Scott was a miserable excuse for a human being.