Rather than post these little Kakuzu/Hidan drabbles in lots of smaller posts I'm going to put them all in one fic for ease.

--

For lilydescend.

--

Road to Heaven

"You can't take it with you, bastard," he sneers, leaning in close until Kakuzu shoves him away with a hand at the base of his throat.

"Indeed," he replies softly. "I have no intention of dying."

The priest laughs, folding his arms and tilting his chin up. "You'll go to Jashin in the end, just like everyone else. No-one escapes His judgement, and there's no way in any of the seven hells that you can buy him off."

The steady clink of coins does not falter throughout the lecture. Hidan watches the long fingers sorting, selecting, tallying with patient care and the steady click click of tally beads sets his teeth on edge.

"Your money won't buy you a place in Jashin's heaven," he whispers.

"Possibly the one place, assuming for the moment that it actually exists, I would pay to not have to enter," Kakuzu replies. There is a moment's pause and then Hidan's lips pull back from his teeth in a snarl and his hand whips out to sweep the neatly tallied coins from the table.

Kakuzu is faster.

He grabs the wiry priest's forearm in a grip of iron and whips him around, his other hand going for his throat. Coins jingle and clatter as he slams the smaller man down onto the table and leans over him, eyes pale and unreadable.

"Do not disturb my tallies," he advises politely. Beneath his fingers the flesh of Hidan's neck is darkening to a deep, bloody red.

"Jashin take you!" the priest chokes out.

"Jashin," Kakuzu replies evenly, "Cannot afford me."