Before we begin, I would just like to say that I'm sure that I didn't get all the moments, so if you remember one and what episode, tell me, so that I can go and put it in later.

They're mostly in order, 'cept toward the end. I didn't bother saying what episodes because you guys can just go and watch the episodes again (and if you guys know a website where it has videos of full length episodes of House and Doctor Who, I'd be ever so grateful).

Yes, I sugar coated some of them. These are MY versions of the moments.

1

She finally cornered him one day. “Why did you hire me?”

He rolls his eyes. “Does it matter?”

She puts on a brave face. I mean, this is her boss that she’s talking to like this. “Kind of hard working for a guy who doesn’t respect you.”

“Why?”

She’s getting annoyed. “Is that rhetorical?”

He never did like to beat around the bush but he doesn’t really want to tell her the whole truth. “No, it just seems that way because you can't think of an answer. Does it make a difference what I think? I'm a jerk. The only thing that matters is what you think. Can you do the job?”

She brings up a conversation from earlier. “You a hired black guy because he had a juvenile record.”

He scoffs. “Not it wasn’t a racial thing, I didn’t see a black guy. I just saw a doctor…with a juvenile record. I hired Chase because his dad made a phone call. I hired you because you’re extremely pretty.”

She gapes, shocked beyond anything to hear this, all her assumptions tossed out the window to fall to a painful death. “You hired me to get in my pants?”

He wants to roll his eyes again. Really, it should be pretty obvious by now. “I can't believe that that would shock you. It's also not what I said. No, I hired you because you look good; it's like having a nice piece of art in the lobby.”

She tries to pick up her dignity while she still has some fighting chance. “I was at the top of my class.”

“But not THE top.”

She flounders. “I did an internship at the Mayo Clinic.”

He’s getting bored. “Yes, you were a very good applicant.”

She’s starting to see the pattern. “But not the best?”

He likes to watch this kicked puppy look. “Would that upset you, really? To think that you were hired because of some genetic gift of beauty, not some genetic gift of intelligence?”

She tries for her last shot, even though the rule is “three strikes, you’re out.” “I worked very hard to get where I am.”

Damn. Now he’s going to have let her look at some of his personal thoughts, some of his reasoning, and his feelings and thoughts to her. Damn. “But you didn't have to. People choose the paths that grant them the greatest rewards for the least amount of effort. That's the law of nature, and you defied it. That's why I hired you. You could have married rich, could have been a model, you could have just shown up and people would have given you stuff. Lots of stuff, but you didn't, you worked your stunning little ass off.”

She’s stunned. And she starts to smile as he walks off.

2

She likes this, when he flirts when they try to be serious for a case and he let’s them try to be good little doctors when he’s probably five steps ahead and waiting up for them to get there.

“What about sex?” she asks, meaning to refer to the patient.

He mocks confusion and embarrassment as he answers back. “Well, it might get complicated. We work together. I am older, certainly, but maybe you like that.”

She hides her smile. “I meant neurosyphilis.”

He smirks. “Heh, nice cover.” And just as an added bonus, he winks.

3

She’s crying in the lab and she can hear his squeaking sneakers and tapping cane and that distinguished limp coming up from behind.

He senses the atmosphere and deduces that there is a chance of “need to get the hell out of here NOW” hanging around in the air. Maybe some jokes would give him the proper umbrella. “Mixing up some margaritas? Mines a double, Senorita. That’s Portuguese you know.”

She pretty much whispers her half-hearted comeback. “Spanish…”

He studies how she’s keeping herself up and how her body is angled and wonders if he should take this upon himself like she silently wishes him to or run out of there like the both expect him to. Maybe there’ll be a larger percentage of getting laid if he goes with the first. “Uh-oh. What’s going on?”

She wants to try to be brave in front of him. “I’m recalibrating a centrifuge.”

He seriously hates beating around the bush. “Turn around.”

When she does, he almost groans at the tear tracks. But he’s got a practiced poker face, perfect for any situation. “It’s a very sad thing, an un-calibrated centrifuge. It makes me cry, too.”

She already feels weak from crying and she doesn’t want to deal with his sarcasm. “I’m not crying.”

“Ok.” He waits because he knows damn well she’ll go on again.

“When I was in college, I… I fell in love, and I got married. And…”

He remembers the statistics and is already ready to put in puzzle-piece he thinks fits for his mental picture of her. “At that age, the chances of a marriage lasting…”

She cuts him off. “It lasted six months. Thyroid cancer metastasized to his brain. There was nothing they could do. I was 21, and I watched my husband die.”

He looks to his shoes for guidance but he knows from experience they only like to talk to him when he’s high or drunk off his rocker. “I’m sorry.”

Another pause and she wants to turn away, but he says something to continue.

“But that’s not the whole story. It's a symptom, not your illness. Thyroid cancer would have been diagnosed at least a year before his death, you knew he was dying when you married him. Must have been when you first met him. And you married him anyway. You can't be that good a person and well adjusted.”

She feels like crying all over again and she doesn’t know why. “Why?” whether it be directed to him or herself.

“Because you end up crying over centrifuges.”

“Or hating people.” The conversation is over and she’s starting to feel better again.

4

He’s amazed, and a little proud, that she managed to effectively manipulate the others to do as she said. But he’s still disgusted because he didn’t hire her to do that, and, also, that’s his job. “Why are you doing this?”

She tries to play innocent. “I’m not doing anything.”

“You’re manipulating everyone.”

She sighs and he notices that she seems to shrink within herself and she’s got that kicked puppy look again. “People…dismiss me. Because I’m a woman, because I’m pretty, because I’m not aggressive. My opinions shouldn’t be rejected just because people don’t like me.”

He wants to laugh. He really does. But he knows he’s got to say this. Even though he really doesn’t want to. “They like you. Everyone likes you.” There. Kept it simple, now walk away.

She’s hopeful. “Do you? I have to know.”

“No.”

Everybody lies.

“Ok.” She’s smiling.

5

Great, she’s thanking him and he doesn’t know what to do.

“Do you know why people believe in God?”

“I thought you don’t believe in God.”

“I don’t.”

“Well, then, you’d better be making a good point.”

“Do you think they pray to Him and praise Him because they want Him to know how great He is? God already knows that.”

“Are you…comparing me to God? I mean, that’s great, but just so you know, I’ve never made a tree.”

“I thank you because it means something to me. To be grateful for what I receive.”

He’s really disgusted with her, if not finding her completely adorable with that hopeful and innocent look on her face. “You are the most naive atheist I've ever met... thank God.

He begins to walk off but he turns around to add another point. “People pray so that God won't crush them like bugs. I'm not gonna crush you.”

She’s grateful.

6

He looks at her attire before returning back to his shoes. “I saw the light on.”

“It’s daytime.”

He rolls his eyes at her literalness. Never was any fun with the metaphors. “Yeah. It’s a figure of speech. Always so literal.”

“Got a new cane.”

“Yeah. Guy in the store said it was slimming. Vertical stripe…”

“Why are you here.”

At least she also wants to get to the point.

“Vogler is dead.”

She’s appalled. She knew she hated him but she didn’t know that if he had the ability to he would practically run through the streets to find his ex-employee to sing the good fortune. “What? What happened?”

He rolls his eyes. “Again with the literal translation. Vogler the idea. Mr. Destructo. Mr. Money Bags, "Bow down before me"; he's gone from the hospital, so things can go back to the way they were.”

“The way they were was kind of weird.”

He shrugs. “Eh…weird works for me.”

She’s getting impatient. “What are you saying? Literally?”

“I want you to come back.”

“Why?”

His beeper goes off. She clenches. He observes. “Please unclench. You're not on the clock, and when you do that, I clench, and then it's the whole thing…”

She’s getting angry. “Could you look at your pager?”

“It’s no big deal, some sort of epidemic. Not my area”

“You should go. It’s important.” Because it’s the right thing to do.

“What I’m doing now is important.” Always so damn stubborn.

“Why do you want me back?” Just go away.

“Because you’re a good doctor.” That’s a lie. (Whose thought is that and how do they mean that?)

“That’s it?”

“That’s not good enough?”

“Not for me. Go deal with your plague.”

The door slams shut and he wants to wait there and ignore the call, but his leg will cramp, so he leaves.

7

His friend is mad at him. Again. “You had the perfect person, and you blew it!”

He gestures to the door where the insecure-but-trying-hard-to-hide-it applicant left. “You saw the shoes!”

“I’m not talking about her.”

“You’re talking about Cameron.”

“I’m talking about every woman you’ve ever given a damn about.”

He scoffs and leans back in his chair. “Cameron is so not perfect.”

“Nobody’s perfect.” Of course. But she’s very close. She married a dying man to give him comfort in his final hours but ended with her and her broken heart. Normal people don’t do that.

“Mother Theresa?”

“Dead.”

“Angelina Jolie.”

“No medical degree.”

“Now who’s being picky?”

8

“So she’s coming back.”

Stupid idiot patient who’s watching the game with the two of them looks up. “Who’s coming back?”

His eyes are glued to the screen. “You don’t know her.”

“You give her a raise? Increase her benefits.” Stop it, just shut up. Not in front of the patient.

“Don’t have TiVo on this thing, can’t rewind. Shut up.” Please?

Patient dude chimes in. “Lower her hours?”

“You don’t even know her!”

His friend stares at the patient for a moment as the other two go back to the game. “Who is this guy?”

“He’s a patient.”

“He’s examining me.”

“He's got to go back to work as soon as I'm done with the examination. Guess I do too.”

And it’s back to the original conversation. “It's got to be something. I mean, she didn't come back because she likes you.”

Not enough time to get his poker face on and the other two both notice it.

“Wait a minute! She did come back because she likes you!”

Stupid patient says something. “Heh heh! You dog! You slept with her!”

“Keep talking. I’ll finish your exam with a prostate check.”

To his friend he reluctantly says. “I’ve agreed to take her on a date.”

“What?”

“So you into this girl.” Stupid, stupid patient. He is now more than ready to do the prostate check than he ever was with any other patient.

His friend replies for him. “Yes.”

“No! She’s not giving me any choice.”

“Wait. She’s making you do her.” Where are those latex gloves?

“Date her.”

“Young ingénue doctor falling in love with gruff, older mentor; her sweet, gentle nature bring him to a closer, fuller understanding of his wounded heart.”

“Do her… or you’re gay.”

“For God’s sake!” He storms out and he here’s them singing.

“…Sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G!”

“Grow up. And learn to harmonize.”

9

She wants to laugh at the things her colleagues tell her.

“A date? Date, dinner and a movie, naked and sweaty date?”

&

“House isn’t gonna hand you anything…You want him, you gotta take him - Jump him.”

He’s just annoyed.

“Hey, I've been on the scene more than you recently.”

He blocks it with sarcasm (really? Or does he really want this?)

“Way ahead of you. I've got a case of malt liquor stashed in the trunk, Mr. Marvin Gaye on the CD. We are gonna get all the way down.”

10

He doesn’t like this, but he has to play along for the sake of things. “I could hit that.”

“And you didn’t?”

He shrugs.

“Man, you’re the one that should be locked up.”

11

He’s jealous. That’s why he doesn’t want this TB guy out of here. Hitting on Cameron, asking her to come with him to Africa to save all those people dying with a snap of fingers, acting like he should be treated just like them.

Now for every guy he saves HE should be awarded with those victories too.

12

He nods, keeping his eyes to the floor like always. “Thanks…for not coming to dinner.”

She smiles, it’s controlled. But he knows she likes the praise somewhere inside that Perfect Person body.

13

He revs his motorcycle.

“No, no way. It just snowed.”

“Yesterday. The streets are clear.” He tosses her his helmet. Don’t want her ruining her pretty face.

“My car is right there!”

“There’s construction on Elm. Bike will be faster.” He’s already getting on.

She gives up, puts on the helmet, and gets on. She puts her hands on his sides.

But he pulls them around himself. (Because he’s cold, that’s all.)

She grins.

He knows he looks good with a hot girl like her in the back.

14

The Aussie and the black guy file out of the room. She gathers some files but he calls her back.

“Cameron.” She turns to look and she’s the most intense look he’s ever looked at her with. “I love you.”

She doesn’t know how to react. She wants to say something but a swab goes into her mouth.

“Get your test results tomorrow.”

15

“The most important letter of my life and you’re still an ass.”

“Comforting isn’t it?”

(He’s just worried, dear)

16

“His wife arranged it for an anniversary present. And if you ask me, if two people really trust each other, a threesome once every seven years might actually help a marriage.”

It was so honest and open they have to all stare at her for a few moments.

He wonders what she would do if they were married.

“Okay, I say we stop the DDX and discuss that comment.”

17

“He loves her. Did everything he could to make sure she wouldn't get sick.”

He pretends to be puzzled. “What does that mean?”

“Love is an emotion certain people experience, similar to happiness.” She smiles. “You know, maybe I should give a more relatable example.”

“Oh, snap!”

18

He’s blabbering about something he doesn’t he even know any more because he’s done this before with Esther. He turns to look at his ducklings -

…5...red dress…4...curly hair…3...that dress shows some nice cleavage…2...is she doing this on purpose?…1 “Wooow……What were we talking about?”

19

He remembers the best part of his coma-dream. Robotically molesting her.

20

He looks at her unimpressed. “You do know that you can’t pierce me with your stares?”

21

He’s high from the gas and he’s been staring at her as she helps Wilson in the lab.

“You have pretty hair.”

Fifteen seconds later he was totally sober as he informed them of their next course of action.

22

She hugs him, to give them both some reassurance. He breaks it by saying, “Excuse me, I have to go to jail now.”

23

She’s close.

“I know this must be a turn on for you.”

She’s kissing him. He rolls his eyes and kisses back.

It’s ruined when she tries to take out the needle.

“A little whorish to kiss and stab.”

Her eyes glint with lust and triumph. Just a little sexy. “You kissed back.”

“I didn't want you to die without knowing the feeling. Actually, no woman should die without knowing the feeling.”

Glares are shared and she stalks out.

“If you need a sperm sample come back without the needle.”

When she’s gone he touches his lips, wondering if that was real.

24

He finds her and the wombat in the janitor’s closet.

He walks away smirking. She is so not over me.

25

She hits her head against the wall later, not quite forgiving herself for not keeping her mouth on more guard in front of those cameras.

26

“You want to be here.”

“I have to be here.”

“Just say the word and I’ll fire Thirteen.”

“Just sign the forms.”

27

They’re talking about there senator patient and he’s trying to defend his honor.

“He didn’t have any reason to lie.”

His friend doesn’t buy it. “Everybody lies…except politicians? House, I believe you’re a romantic. You didn’t just believe him - you believed in him. You want to come over tonight and watch old movies and cry?” He pauses, then points straight at him.

“Dr. Cameron’s getting to you. Well, I guess you can’t be around that much niceness and not get any on you.”

He sarcastically remarks. “Is that why you haven’t put the moves on her?”

“What makes you think I haven’t put the moves on her?”

He stops and stares. Oh hell no.

His friend’s mouth drops as he stares right back and whispers “Oh.” then louder, “Oh boy! You’re in trouble.” He then walks of laughing triumphantly.