Okay, so about this fic--I was watching that episode (You know...THAT one.) when this idea struck, and I had to get it out on paper. Now, I really don't like writing about Eric Cartman as the main focus, mainly because I'm always terrified I'll get him severely out of character and make him much too nice or too evil or whatever. Well, when this episode ran through my brain again, an idea that had been stewing in my brain finally reared its ugly head and screamed, "WRITE ME!"...so I did. This is at least six months (most likely more) old and I am just now feeling like posting it up so all of you lovelies can read it. If it looks familiar, you frequent deviantart and probably read it on my account over there. (It's zukichan, in case anyone -coughnoonecoughcough- is interested.)

And, without further ado, feel free to read it. (I hope he's in character. I'm already ecstatic with how Butters turned out.) It can be viewed as Cutters/Bartman if you look hard enough. (Yes, I intentionally switched those letters. Sue me.)

"Whole"
"I cry at night because I don't have a dad."

...

It was very, very rare for Eric Cartman to feel genuine camaraderie towards someone else. It was even rarer for him to feel pure, untainted, compassion towards someone else. And, because of these things, it was extremely rare for the “someone else”s in the world to show him kindness. And, when it was shown, it was usually out of pity, because he wouldn’t have friends otherwise.

In fact, there were only two people that seemed to genuinely care about him.

The first was his mother. She spoiled him senseless and never objected to him. She was often worried that he was misbehaving, but when she tried to correct it she found it much easier to let him act out. She, like him, had few friends. And so, she shared a companionship with her son that was less “motherly” and more “friendly”.

Though, even her care and affection could only run so deep.

The only other person who seemed to care about him was Butters. He liked Butters a lot. He liked him because he was easily manipulated. He enjoyed being able to pull pranks on him and get away with it. The only time he hadn’t gotten away with it had been the time Butters had blackmail material on him, and even that seemed to be the only time Butters ever shown dislike for him. After that, things were more normal, and Butters went back to being the same pushover he was. But Butters cared about everyone the same, so that couldn’t possibly amount to anything.

Or so he thought.

The real turning point for his thoughts on Butters happened shortly after entering the fifth grade. He had invited himself over to Butters’s house to pull another prank on him…like always. It wasn’t actually so bad, really.

Butters and his parents took him to Bennigan’s, and because they were paying for the meal, he couldn’t pass up the opportunity to stuff his face. After all, it would have been a waste to let such good food go untasted, right? He even managed to snag a few bites from Butters, who, when he was finished was still hungry, found he was unable to order something small without being grounded.

Eric remembered Butters looking at him with pleading eyes, asking if he could have a little bit of his food, too, to be even steven. And so, Eric smiled oh, so sweetly, with a loving, charitable smile on his round little face…and told him to eat his own goddamned food.

On the ride back, Butters wore a heart-broken pout on his innocent little face, while Eric wore a smug smirk, completely stuffed and beyond content.

The mood drastically changed when they got back to his house.

Butters brightened up again, and his parents pulled out a puzzle, smiling happily and sharing looks between each other. This was different then the other times he had stayed, because they usually just told Butters to take his little friend up to his room and leave them alone for the rest of the night. Apparently they had gone to family counseling or something during the summer.

Eric looked at them with confusion, as they sat down at the table and began to work, laughing with each other and talking about nothing in particular. After a while, Eric warily took a few pieces and started trying to fit them together.

That simple act brought him into their circle, and then they began giving him similar pieces, asking him how far he’d gotten. He smiled a little, soon becoming just as much involved as they were.

When that was over, they watched a movie. He couldn’t remember what it was called, but he remembered that after it was over Butters’s mom made cookies and they all watched a few cartoons as they ate them. She shooed the two boys off to bed shortly after, saying they’d go up and tuck them in after a few moments.

Usually Eric brought his sleeping bag and an extra blanket, but this time he felt a strange sort of closeness. The foreign kind–like the kind one had with a sibling–that he hadn’t ever gotten to experience before. He dressed into his pajamas and hopped into the bed. Butters followed shortly after.

Butters chattered for some time about absolutely nothing, a habit that seemed to run in his family. His mother and father came in shortly after. His mother went to the side of the bed and kissed each of them on the top of the head.

“Oh, Butters. I love you so much. Eric, it’s so good to see he has good friends like you. We’re so glad you came.”

Eric smiled nervously, unsure of what to say to that, for one of the first times in his life. “Well, you know… I wanted to come and all…”

Then Mr. Stotch bent down and kissed his son on the forehead, patting Eric’s head gently. He stood up and smiled. “Goodnight, you two. Sleep well.”

As they left, Butters’s mom turned the light out, closing the door. And now Eric had to wait for Butters to go to sleep in order to pull a few pranks on him again. Maybe he’d try the warm water trick, make his parents mad at him for wetting the bed so they’d ground him.

And yet, the closeness got to him. He liked being here, spending a normal night with Butters’s family. He liked working on the puzzle, and watching the movie as if he were part of their family. He liked eating the cookies and sleeping here next to Butters like two siblings. He liked being tucked in by Butters’s parents.

Receiving a gentle pat on the head from Butters’s father.

It wasn’t until his eyes blurred and Butters mumbled, “We-Well gee, Eric. What’s wrong?” that he realized he was crying. He wanted it. He wanted to be tucked in by a mom and a dad. He wanted to go out to eat with parents, and work on puzzles with them, and watch movies as a family.

He wanted a father.

He wiped at his eyes and fought to keep it together. He usually did this when he was alone in his room, and Butters had already used something against him before. He wasn’t going to look like some baby to everyone else. Finally it became too much and the sobs started coming in gasps and hiccups.

He sat up and curled into the fetal position, trying to make himself small and unnoticeable, as hard as that was. He could hear Butters worrying aloud frantically, wondering what he should do.

“O-Oh hamburgers. Wh-What should I do? C-Come on, Eric. Stop cryin’. My father says that cryin’s for l-little girls and…oh d-dear, that was a stupid thing ta say…”

He sniffled, inhaling the snot that was about to come running out his nose. He wiped at his eyes and finally found the words between sobs. “I want… I want a d… dad…”

As soon as he said it, the sobs came harder, and he felt oddly relieved. Butters sniffled a little and Eric turned, realizing Butters was beginning to cry, too. It was getting ridiculous! Butters wiped at his eyes and put an arm around the quivering shoulder, hugging Eric tightly. “Th-There, there, Eric. I-If you want, you can c-come here every w-week… I’m sorry you don’t have a dad or nothin’…”

He stopped crying ten minutes later and lay down, completely weak from his little outburst. He sniffled a little and Butters lay down, facing him. After a few moments, Eric pulled at his pajama sleeves anxiously, feeling awkward. “B-Butters…this is going to sound really gay…but I wish you were my brother.” He looked back up, eyes flashing. “Sometimes! Most of the time I hate your guts, but sometimes I wish you were. L-Like right now…”

Butters gave him a dorky little chuckle, grinning ear to ear. “We-Well gee, Eric, that’s mighty thoughtful…!”

Eric rolled over to hide his blushing face, inwardly cursing at saying something so stupid. He closed his eyes and tried to sleep. Butters had really pulled through for him tonight; he figured he could go a while without being too cruel.

Behind him, Butters yawned and mumbled a polite, “Good night.” and closed his eyes. After a few moments, Eric turned over and looked at his sleeping comrade of-sorts. He reached out awkwardly and hugged Butters in a very, very non-gay way and closed his eyes.

Yes, He thought to himself. This is what it’s like to have a family. This is what it’s like to be whole.