The duties of running that night’s Who Centennial event had kept Ned so busy that day, he hadn’t even had a chance to go home. As much as he wanted to, of course. Sally had called him and told him about Becca, Pam, and Zoe getting into a fight at school and Claire being bullied, running into the pond, and catching a nasty cold from it, and his thoughts kept drifting back to those four girls, wishing he could be with them rather than acting as master of ceremonies for a hotdog eating competition. He, of course, wanted to check up on Claire and make sure she was alright, but he also wanted to comfort the other three troublemakers. True, so they had been bullies themselves… but he was sure they were feeling remorse for their actions right now, and he wanted to cheer them up. He was allowed to spoil his daughters; he wasn’t the parent who dispensed discipline, after all. Thank goodness.

As all the coordinators blabbed on with him about procedures and schedules for the night and such, Ned only half listened, the other half of him reminding himself, Sally can handle it, and she has JZRFV there to help her out… wait… no, she’ll only have JZFV. Because Rhiannon and her—shudder—boyfriend are going to be HERE.

“Mr. Mayor, are you even listening to a word I’m saying?” a coordinator asked testily.

Ned quickly shook himself out of his thoughts. “Yeah, yeah, every word… but if you’ll excuse me, I have to go find Rhiannon…” He took off without another glance.

The coordinators looked at each other in confusion. “Who’s Rhiannon?”

Ned pushed his way through the crowd of Whos, looking frantically for the bright blue of Rhiannon’s hair and the… well, whatever color Ryan’s hair was. This would be so much easier if he knew what Ryan looked like. Oh please, oh please let him look clean-cut and respectable, and not like some insolent punk…

Finally, he spotted her. “Rhiannon!” he shouted.

Rhiannon looked in surprise. “Oh, hey Dad,” she said, in a level tone, that clearly to all but Ned communicated that she wanted to be seen with her dad as little as possible that night.

“Hello, Mr. Mayor,” said the boy next to her timidly—that must be Ryan. Ned felt a bit relieved upon seeing that Ryan was, indeed, shy and presentable.

“Hi, Dad!” said Virginia.

Ned looked shocked. “Virginia? What are you doing here?”

“I wanted to come!” said Virginia happily. “I love Sex Drugs and Muffins! Besides, I thought I’d keep Rhiannon and Ryan company.”

“But… do you have a… boy?” he finally asked, his eyes narrowing in suspicion. Ryan gulped.

Virginia shook her head. “Nope. I’m just here for fun.”

“And we’re not?” Rhiannon asked sarcastically.

Ned turned his attentions to Ryan, who seemed to have shrunk three inches from nervousness. “So… so you must be Ryan,” said Ned, trying to sound cordial and friendly.

Ryan nodded. “Yes, sir.”

“Well, you certainly seem like a nice kid already.” He gave Ryan a reproachful look. “But if my first impression of you turns out to be wrong…”

“I swear, I won’t even touch her!” Ryan cried.

Rhiannon pouted. “Where’s the fun in that? Dad, stop creeping out my date. I’ll be fine.”

“I’ll keep an eye on them,” said Virginia to her father with a knowing wink.

“You really should be at home helping your mother,” said Ned, although inwardly relieved by her presence—now it seemed far less of a date and far more of a gathering of friends.

“Mom’ll be fine,” said Rhiannon with a dismissive wave of her hands. “Come on, Dad, we’re teenagers, we’ve gotta have some fun!”

“And hopefully you will,” said Ned with a smile. “We’ve got a lot of fun activities planned for tonight—”

A coordinator suddenly grabbed Ned by the arm and attempted to pull him away. “Mr. Mayor, we’ve been looking all over for you! You need to do a final inspection of the hotdogs!”

“Right!” said Ned hastily. “Alright, kids, have fun! I’ll be keeping an eye on you!” He had to shout as the coordinator was literally dragging him away.

“Bye, Dad! Good luck!” said Virginia.

“And please don’t embarrass me!” Rhiannon added.

The coordinator of the hotdog eating competition laughed to herself. “Ah, kids. When are they going to learn that it’s a parent’s duty in life to embarrass their children whenever possible?”

“Are your kids here?” Ned asked, trying to make conversation as the woman weaved him through the crowd at lightning speed.

“Yeah, my three fifteen-year-olds are around here somewhere with their friends. Ah, here we are!”

“You certainly wasted no time,” said Ned, a bit frazzled from his rapid journey.

“There’s no time to waste, these hotdogs need to be inspected before the ceremonies start—which is in ten minutes!”

A girl about the age of JZRFV peered over at the hotdogs. “Mm, they look so good!” she said, licking her lips. “Don’t you think so, Jojo?”

Jojo sighed. “I… don’t like hotdogs very much,” he mumbled.

Ned chuckled. “Well then, son, you’d better not sign up for the competi—Jojo?!” So great was his shock that he upset the judging table, sending the ketchup and mustard containers flying in all directions. “What are you doing here?!”

Courtney stepped forward and shook Ned’s hand enthusiastically. “Hello, Mr. Mayor, it’s nice to meet you! My name’s Courtney Van Horn. I’m Jojo’s date.”

“Date?!” Ned looked at Jojo with a mixture of confusion and frustration, oblivious to the cries of distress of the nearby Whos who were now covered in condiments. “Why didn’t you tell me this, Jojo?”

Jojo flung out his arms defensively. “Hey, I didn’t even know I was taking her until about 3:15 this afternoon!”

“I’ll admit, it wasn’t the most conventional way of asking a girl out…” said Courtney, still smiling like a love-sick puppy.

“Virginia made me,” said Jojo, still on the defensive. “Just ask her. She’ll tell you everything.”

“Virginia made you?” Ned repeated. “Why didn’t she mention that to me?”

“Where is she?” Jojo asked, looking around. “She’s with Rhiannon and Ryan, right?”

“Yes, at least the last time I saw—”

“There they are!” Courtney interrupted. “Come on, Jojo, let’s go!” She held him by the wrist and started to pull him away, Jojo not putting up much of a fight.

“Wait a minute! Jojo!” cried Ned, stopping the two young teens. He gently pulled Jojo closer to him. “Listen, Jojo,” he said quietly, as if trying to stay unheard by Courtney, “make sure you don’t… you know… get carried away…”

Courtney, who was indeed listening, let out an embarrassed giggle, knowing exactly what Ned was talking about. Jojo also seemed to know that he was getting a condensed version of the talk Rhiannon had received that morning (Rhiannon had, of course, spouted out her utter embarrassment to her birth siblings), for his cheeks started to flush with mortification as he fidgeted uncomfortably.

“Dad, I don’t even really like her,” he said, almost pleadingly, clearly not wanting to hear any more of where this conversation would probably lead.

“I just want you to be careful, alright?” Ned insisted. “I mean, she’s pretty, and she seems nice, and your emotions… well, they can get the better of you if you’re not careful!”

“My only emotion for her is annoyance!” cried Jojo. “Besides, I’m only—”

“—Thirteen, yes, I know,” finished Ned with a sigh. “Just… just give me an allowance to be a little touchy on this subject, alright? I know, I know I can trust you, but I’m your father, I’m paranoid…”

“You don’t have to be. Really.” Jojo tried to hide his look of annoyance with understanding. “Now will you let us go?”

Ned sighed with a bittersweet acceptance, a little tally in his mind checking off cutting the strings off child number two. “Alright. You two go have fun. Or chill. Or hang. Or whatever it is you kids do nowadays.”

“We will!” said Courtney cheerfully, grabbing Jojo by the wrist again and pulling him away. “Thanks, Mr. Mayor! It was nice meeting you!” And away she weaved into the crowd, Jojo giving an apologetic shrug as his departing gesture to his father.

“Zaneeta and Faye are still home, right?” Ned shouted. “Or are they going to suddenly show up too?”

“They’re not coming, I promise!” Jojo hollered. “They’re with Mom!”

“You’re sure?” Ned had to really yell this time to be heard above the crowd of people as Courtney continued to weave through them—in fact, the only reason he knew where the kids were was because he could still see Courtney’s tall pink hair stick above the crowd.

“Positive!” Dang. Jojo might not speak much, Ned reflected to himself, but he could sure be heard when he wanted to.

“Alright!” Ned shouted. “Have fun on… your… date…”

Date. Yeah, date. Why couldn’t he accept the fact that two of his five oldest children, in the span of about one day, had suddenly found themselves dates? It’s not like they were too young for that—they were thirteen after all, teenagers… and Ned probably would have been dating at that time in his life too, had it taken him less than two years to work up the courage to ask Sally out on a date. But, of course, the day he finally, finally, worked up enough nerve to ask her out… Stuart Shepherd beat him to it.

They dated all through high school. Seeing as most high school relationships lasted about two weeks, Ned took this as a sign that they were pretty danged serious, and miserably conceded defeat… dealing with this blow by avoiding seeing them whenever possible. He didn’t run into her again until a few years after graduation, and when he learned that she had finally broken up with Stuart, he took his chance before she slipped past him again. To his surprise, she accepted. To his even grater surprise, he learned soon after that Sally had actually had a crush on him for years…

What would high school have been like if they had actually become a couple then? If they had, perhaps his awkward, hellish teenage years would have been somewhat… happy!

Or, if he could have just known then that, although he couldn’t have her then, he’d at least have her later. It would have made the waiting easier, knowing that he actually was waiting and not just pining for a lost chance.

“Mr. Mayor, the ceremonies are about to begin and you have to get prepared to give your commencement speech!”

Ned snapped out of his daydreaming. “Huh?” he asked in confusion.

The coordinator who had brought Ned back to reality didn’t bother to try hiding his annoyance. “You know, welcoming everyone here and kicking off the hotdog eating competition?”

“Oh yeah, right,” said Ned quickly.

He could dwell on the past later. True, it didn’t do any good… but it was just one of those things that his mind wouldn’t allow him to let go.